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Hi Hi Girls,
I’ve just had a setback with my wife regarding her tolerance of my feminine ambitions. It seems I am back to nearly the beginning where she is OK with my wearing panties and that’s about it. I had been wearing bras recently and she seemed OK with that, but now that’s gone, at least for the time being. So I’m wondering: how often do you need to dress to satisfy your fem desires? I know this will run the gamut from those who just dream about wearing panties, to others who are lucky enough to dress fully fem every day.
What I’m really hoping for is to hear from those who have just graduated from underdressing to being “allowed” to dress full fem occasionally and whether that is enough to sort of scratch the itch to be a temporary woman. I am hoping to reason with my wife about dressing as a total woman for even just a few hours a week, or really even a month. Then maybe I can expand upon that.
Your thoughts?
Catherine
Hi Catherine an so a need to dress thats up to each girl as how strong the pink fog has a grip on them he he .. Well as my self i dress every night in a nighty panties and lipstick for bed on the weekends i underdress in panties bra and forms to make a cute chest in my drab shirt then for the most part a full on dolled up Stephanie she gets at least 2 weekends a month more when something dosent happen like family shows up or something breaks and drab me has a fixit weekend .. So its really up to the girl how she feels and when she can be her self hope this helps .. Hugs Stephanie Bass
Hi Catherine,
I am a total closet girl here. I would love to dress at least twice a week for a few hours if it were possible.
As of now I only dress when my wife is out for at least half the day or so. We are both retired, so we are home or out together most of the time.
I’m new to this, but have some strong desires for it. I just don’t want to burden my wife with the news that her husband of nearly 38 years is now cross dressing.
I envy those girls here that have accepting SO’s. I’m also so very happy for them as well!
I hope it gets better with your wife’s acceptance!
Hope this is helpful,
Hugs, Lara
Lara
It’s a bit of give-and-take, right?
Is the relationship all one-sided?I’m not certain how old you and your honey are, but I know as I’ve aged, this cat has escaped the closet!
While my wife isn’t a fan, I’ve found that by careful choices of clothing (modest) that I am wearing nearly 100% feminine clothing every day in a manner that she finds reasonable and at times pleasing. She also knows that I have been a life-long and it isn’t ever going away and that it’s best accepted (albeit with some reservations).
Before the pandemic, I had about a week of Stephanie time every three or four months. During the lockdowns and since things have been getting back to normal, I haven’t had any Stephanie time, at least not any real Stephanie time. I have enjoyed virtual Stephanie time. That’s not the same as getting dressed up though.
It would be great if I could dress up once a week. What I’d really like, though, is to be able to dress up as often and for as long as I’d like.
Catherine this is entirely up to you dear. Crossdressing is as much about how it makes you feel as anything else. Psychologically speaking, even just wearing panties can give you that wonderful feeling that you have a feminine part of you that no one can take away from you. It is unfortunate that your wife cannot be more understanding and allow you more dressing opportunities but if you love her and don’t want your marriage to end then compliance with her requirements is probably mandatory. A decision like that may be difficult for you to bear, but remember she married a man and maybe having a very difficult time adjusting to your crossdressing. Knowing that you have a feminine part of you that cannot be taken away by anyone may allow you to be satisfied with just wearing panties. There is always hope that you can change her mind later on especially if she sees that not dressing more often makes you unhappy. Just remember you control to a large extent your own happiness. Good luck Catherine in dealing with your current crossdressing situation. You are not the only one having to deal with this type of problem. – Blessings from Teralynn
For me I couldn’t live without wearing something feminine every day.
My days start and end wearing one of my silky nighties and I wear panties every day. For the most part this is sufficient to satisfy my daily needs to be in touch with my feminine side. At least once or twice a month I crave to escape into the blissful world of feeling like a real woman and I will spend an entire day going all out in a dress, make up, wig, and breast forms. It really depends on the stress level I’ve been dealing with as a man as to how often I need these total escapes.
Me neither. I have to choose between clothes and makeup – I don’t have the time for both.
Once a week? Heaven!
Connie
xxx
Hi Catherine
I normally dress about once or twice a week but the times in between I underdress. However over the past couple of months normal life has gotten in the way so Samantha time has been a bit thin on the ground.
Even my wife has noticed that she hasn’t seen my all dressed up as Samantha but never questions me about it as she knows when the time is right I will be all dressed up outfit wig and makeup.
Again she is fully aware that I underdress most days as she does the laundry and my panties always goes into the same laundry basket.
I appreciate that all SO have different levels of acceptance and I am lucky that my wife is fully supportive of the Samantha part of my life.
Samantha x
I get up several hours earlier than my SO. Every morning, as soon as I’m up I put on Bra & Panties and forms. and sometimes workout clothes. I drink my coffee while perusing CDH. We are in a DA-DT situation here so I remove my breast forms once she is up. The rest stays hidden under my regular clothes.
Its not much but it helps me to touch my femme side every morning. Occasionally I get to get out and more fully dress. For now i have to enjoy what i can when i can. This near overwhelming compulsion just hit me last year.
I’m trying to be considerate of her feelings.
As I live alone and mostly work from home, one would think I could dress whenever I want, but no.Most of my daytime hours this time of year are spent working outside doing the kind of Work/ chores that would ruin a dress or skirt, and there’s always the chance of friends, customers, or my kids showing up.
So early morning, or late evening is Kelli’s time..try for it every day, don’t always succeed!You’ve all been so sweet and supportive. Thank you very much! It’s reassuring to hear that there are many others who have less femme freedom than I, and I very much hope that you’re all able to increase your dressing to a greater degree.
Apparently many of you are only able to sneak panties occasionally. I’m so sorry about that. I told my wife that panties are truly more comfortable – and indeed they are for me. She is fine with panties every day. I actually own zero men’s underwear. I have tons of pretty panties of all sorts and I do enjoy them very much. I always buy the girliest ones I can find. Pink lace and bows etc. She’s fine with that. The bras are a little different. She worries that our youngest who still lives at home will hug me and feel the bra, or that it might be noticed under a shirt. I can usually get away with a thin, lacy bralette. I love the way that feels and it feeds my girly desires a little bit.
I’m hopeful that some day, maybe in 2022, my wife will tolerate my going for a makeover and photo shoot. I so very much want to see what a professional can do to make me look feminine. I will have to take very good care of those photos so nobody sees them.
If that goes well, then maybe I can build upon it. That’s all still a distant dream for now however.Thanks again for being the great girlfriends I need.
Big Hugs,
CatherineFor me, dressing once per week is not enough. I keep thinking about transforming to Wendy often, and due to work I can’t.
My wife is accepting and does allow me to transform when she is around, so I thank her for her understanding and support. On the other hand, now that I can dress more freely, I find myself wanting to transform much more often; the pink fog sometimes clouds my mind quite heavily.
Before I came out, that itch was very real but I couldn’t dress (not even underdress), it was really tough as the itch to wear something femme would sometimes become too much to bear.
However, please keep in mind that my situation is different from yours. When I first came out, dressing once a week did satisfy the itch. But as time progressed and as my wardrobe expanded, I found once a week quickly became twice and week, …
I have no idea how much is enough, but my wife and I came to the agreement that I get a major dressing opportunity once a month.
Her suggestion was to book a hotel somewhere she wasn’t likely to be, and see what happens.
The rest is herstory.
I try to book a hotel every month, then come back here and write my memoirs in the Personal Cross Dressing stories forum.
Kinda works – but I do start champing at the bit – and feel very, very nervous at the same time, one week before departure.
I fill that void with shopping for outfits for the trip!
Lovely!
Laura
I underdress with panties most workdays and occasionally on the weekend. I’m closeted with everything else and don’t keep any clothes or other lingerie at my house. I’m fortunate to have a small office attached to my workshop. Once a week I arrive a little early and dress up. I don’t do makeup or wigs so I’m ready pretty quickly. I will then do my desk work for the week. I joke to myself that Natalie is my secretary. Occasionally if the mood really hits I will dress more than once a week, but through the years I’ve conditioned myself not too, wether it’s quilt or something else it’s worked for me.
I’m a solitary dresser and enjoy the private time to myself.The last two summers I’ve began stealth dressing. I work outside during the summer . I’ve purchased women’s work type shorts and tops and even work boots, add panties and I’m completely crossdresser and nobody seems to know. Again I only do that once a week. I’m in the process of finding women’s long work pants and long sleeve tops for this winter.
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Every morning I get out of bed and put on a bra and forms. Most days I’m already wearing panties, leggings, and a womens tee shirt or blouse. When I go out I underdress with a bra and sometimes pantyhose but I don’t dress fully with makeup and the works but about once a month. Casual dressing around the house and underdressing usually takes care of my dressing desire but I do love dressing to the nines when I can. If there are days I just can’t dress I feel something is missing.
It seems you asked a question only you can answer for your self. I can easily get by with once a week. But I think if I felt like I was limited in some way the desire would only increase. I dressed way more when I had to sneak around than I do now. But the desire to dress always changes. Sometimes I just have to dress right now and sometimes not. I think that by someone else limiting you it would only increase the desire. It is to bad but if we are in a marriage or have others in your life that we value you have to sometimes make concessions to appease them. Again I think we all know only you can answer to your own question.
I like your answer Michelle,
I don’t have an SO, if I get an itch there’s nothing to stop me dealing with it. I’m dressed low key, or casually, whatever you want to describe it most of the time and I don’ t feel that urgency to take advantage of a lucky opportunity – because one is always there. So I just let it happen.
Marti xxx
Hi Catherine, just came out of back in the closet and out again. Since it’s all relatively new again being able to dress I’m taking it slowly. Yes she’s known for awhile but we have also been married for 37 years. So it’s maybe twice week and that satisfies me and doesn’t scare my SO. I am very lucky I know but it’s still a marriage with two people.
I’ve been very fortunate, underdressing has never been a problem, I could wear whatever I wanted underneath and even to bed but fully dressing has only been a thing in the last 6-7 months. Not because she limited me but because I didn’t realize I needed it until then. For the first half of that period I only fully dressed when my wife was away, sometimes for days at a time. Then around September she suddenly seemed to be here all the time or for weeks at a time anyway. I found that once I had that earlier freedom, it was a struggle to return regular drab dressing. I found myself getting cranky and a bit depressed.
Thankfully we’ve kept talking through this and we’ve both come to some realizations about who I am and my needs and I’m able to dress fully around her now for days at a time. It’s not 100% freedom because I’m still a bit self-conscious and I want to give her a breather every couple of days for now. Mostly it’s my own limitations restricting me at this point. She says she’s fine with it and has been offering me her clothes to help fill gaps in my wardrobe, though she said she’s not quite ready to buy clothes for me yet. I can’t complain.
There was a time during the last 7 months where I thought that dressing once or twice a week would be enough and maybe I’ll return to that someday but right now it seems like opposite is true. I’m dressing in drab for a couple days a week and femme the rest of the time. I’d prefer 100% femme and I think I’ll get there eventually.
I hope you find your balance Catherine.
— Abbie 🥰
It is not all about what she wants, you have a say in this matter as well. Don’t know how long she has know or if was from the beginning or not. If she knew from the beginning and now has issues with it, that’s fine, but that should not mean that you should not be able to dress up like you wish. it is a give n take and as much as she does not want you to dress, you have as much right to dress. Maybe find opportunity for when she is gone or does not have to see it.
Find out what she is struggling with and where her head is at. That might explain a few things
Hi Catherine!
I’ll start with a question for you: how often do you eat? And how often do you breath? I bet it is more than once a week, right?I ask because when I told my wife before we married she asked why I CD. Calmly, I replied, “Why do you breath?” She understood then.
So, for me, and for many here our CD, and living even part time our authentic self or part is something we must do. Like breathing or eating our DC is essential to both our mental and physical health.
For that reason I cringe when I hear girls here say, “My wife allowed…”. Should a wife “allow” breathing or eating? How many breaths should SHE think are enough? How many meals are necessary for our health?
So, dearest Catherine, I ask YOU, how much CD is necessary for your mental and physical health? That is not your wife’s call, but rather yours.
Once you determine how much CD is needed for your health, then you have a place to start compromising with your wife. After all she has needs and fears too. But don’t discount your needs, sweetheart.
With my wife, we have reached a sound compromise that keeps us both in love and happy. That is not a static compromise either, as both our needs and commitments change.
Without addressing Catherine’s CD needs, you will suffer stress and other negative health issues. For me, living in a dark closet of fear for thirty years took many many years off my life; part not living authenticity and actual health issues.
So if your wife truly loves ALL of you, she must understand that compromise is needed if you, all of you is to be healthy and happy. (As a note, my wife can see that Jules time makes ALL of me happy and a better person and husband.
Wishing you all the best, girlfriend!
Hugs
Jules
💖👩🌈There’s a little bit of me and my SO in everyone’s answer.
My approach to dressing feminine is becoming more natural. I’m growing my hair as long as I can and my SO says it suits me. I’m hoping to exceed my 1970s teenage length when my hair nearly met my butt. I’m also developing gynecomastic breasts that are not nearly as large as breast forms, but they’ll do.
But dressing en femme isn’t the only feminizing attribute for me. It’s also a state-of-mind. I dunno… I have a more mature and thoughtful attitude; I smile more often; use lots of feminine adjectives like ‘wonderful’, ‘adorable’, ‘ethereal’. I suppressed this for years, but life is short and I’m coming out as I really am.
As for dressing femmy/slutty, I am lucky to bugger-off to the cottage on my own. My SO knows what I’m up to and sees my nylons, LBDs hanging up to dry, but I don’t wear the whole nine yards when I’m with her. BUT… my continued little baby steps haven’t yet been met with any resistance. However, I will NOT place my SO in an awkward situation when The World isn’t yet ready for ‘dressed-to-the-nines’ me.
Cheers,
🥂 Barb
As my fully supportive SO and I slip into this new part of our lives together, I find that 2-3 times a week is usually enough to scratch the Chloé itch, for now.
I’m more gender-fluid I think so I don’t always want to be femme. While there are no restrictions on how often or how far I can take my dressing, I find that I usually get fully dolled up on Wed or Thur and then Saturday. On an “off” day I may wear women’s jeans or put my breast forms on with a casual skirt or dress, but I only do makeup & wig a couple times a week.
I’m not sure why, but that’s just my routine right now. I don’t currently feel the need to go all-in more than that.
-Chloé
Morning hun, I’ve been in the same boat. Right when I think all is good she has mentioned that it’s to much. But then a few days later she will ask why Ashley hasn’t been around. Confusing yes but I do understand as this can be hard for her to deal with just the same way it took me years to come to terms and accept myself. As far a one day a week that wouldn’t cut it for me. I in some way or form have daily femme fixes as I wear panties and bra daily, Pantyhose in this cooler weather but as far as fully dressing I like to try and dress 3 or 4 times a week.
I’m retired, so work isn’t a problem. However, the SO is.
Thanks anyway!
Connie
xxx
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