Is it friendly out there for CD's Today?

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  • Better Today
  • It was Always Friendly
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  • #642781
    Crystalline
    Participant
    Registered On: July 24, 2019
    Topics: 11
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    I have been getting braver wearing womans clothing outside in public. It started with womens jeans, and now I am standing at my driveway with my daughter waiting for the bus wearing a pink jacket. I also drove my car in the pink fleese jacket and a pink hat.

    Today I am wearing my womens jeans and a cute pink sweatshirt. I will be at the bus stop again this morning like this…but I am so close to getting the courage to go to the store!

    So I was wondering. With all the LGBT coverage in todays world,it must be easier for us to feel comfortable out there right? I mean, I really doubt anyone is actually going to say anything. I just feel like nobody would want to say anything in fear of reprocusions.

    I cant pass at all right now. I am over 6 ft and still working to drop weight but I think I still look pretty good in my size 14 jeans!

    Would it be safe to say Id be fine going out in jeans and a pink sweatshirt? Or am I just a paranoid Girl! Like the song…I always feel like…somebody’s watching me!

Viewing 14 reply threads
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    • #643501
      Joanne Jackson
      Lady
      Registered On: May 26, 2020
      Topics: 3
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      Better today in general but caution is advised.  Always be aware of who you are and where you are and act appropriately.  . . . And maybe learn to run fast in heels.

      Thanks for asking.
      -joanne

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #643041
      Polly Stewart
      Lady
      Registered On: January 2, 2021
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      Times and mores change… it was not so many decades ago that homosexuality was an ‘abomination’; my step father suicided back in the 60’s because of the non-acceptance! Now, it’s mainstream! The alt community still has a way to go before mainstream acceptance but compare that to the inequality of women the world round… being a trans woman is right at the end of that queue!

      However, it depends more on where one lives, whether the community, society is more accepting or not.

      Love Polly 💕

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #643007
      Emily Alt
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: August 24, 2019
      Topics: 14
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      Yes things are better.  I also care way less what people think.  That said, we still have a long way to go.

      • #643129
        Dee Frost
        Lady
        Registered On: September 18, 2020
        Topics: 4
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        Yes, Emily, I would second those thoughts.

        As I have often written on these pages, “have no shame and you will have no fear.” Yes, growing older and not fretting so over what others think, really helps in the “no shame” department.

        Dee

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #642967
      Gabriela Romani
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: January 11, 2021
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      There is something to consider when comparing how things were “years ago” against to how things are now, in general.

      I started going out 25 years ago. Are things easier now than in 1997? Yes, they are. But not only society has changed a lot in those 25 years… I have changed a whole lot in those years as well!

      Back then I was petrified thinking the store clerk was going to say or do something if I made it to the register and had a pink razor and a package of pantyhose in my shopping cart. Today if she sees my cart and asks if I found everything I wanted I may tell her they were out of suntan hose in size C so I had to take nude hose instead.

      So, my self today transported to 1997 may think that things are about as easy as now, and myself from 1997 transported to today may think that things are equally as difficult as back then!

      And now I just hope all that made sense to you all! 🙂

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    • #642961
      Angela Booth
      Lady
      Registered On: August 1, 2020
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      I feel it is much better now. It does depend on where you live and the society you live in. I know what the attitude was back in 70’s and it wasn’t until the 90’s that things changed for the better. I would have never dreamed of coming out back in the day but when I slowly came out in the 90’s I found acceptance at each stage.

      I note that a few of you have said that it is the older generation that has an issue. This is contrary to what I have experienced as some of my neighbours are elderly and they have been amazing and when I interact through work or daily life I have been treated as if I were just another woman. Conversely, on the very rare occasion I have had a negative experience, it is with the younger generation. Go figure!

      I am in agreement that there are those that will not like it and have difficulty coming to terms if they are a long standing friend or family but they are very much in the minority for me. As was said before, don’t go to places where women would not go unless in a group or put yourself on offer in unsound places when on your own.

       

       

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    • #642915
      Cassie Jayson
      Duchess
      Registered On: September 29, 2019
      Topics: 49
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      While I voted that it is better today, I have nothing to compare it to. It is only my hunch from the stories I’ve heard. I ma sure there are some places here where I would not be accepted and a few where I might be in physical danger at certain times of the day. But every store I have been in were either accepting, didn’t care or some where I ‘passed’.

      Cassie

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #642891
      Peggy Sue Williams
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: June 26, 2019
      Topics: 20
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      Atlanta is a LGBT friendly city.   I very rarely run into persons who have issues with CDs.

      People over 80 will occasionally stare.  A kind word can often help in these cases.

      I attend military veterans events, and sometimes my participation is challenged.  In such cases, as a Viet Nam War veteran, I simply issue a counter-challenge.  Stolen valor is common, so I do not mind replying to challenges or issuing counter challenges.   I inform the challenger as long as I am appropriately dressed and conduct myself as a lady, I am entitled to the same treatment as any other veteran receives.

       

      • #643053
        Michelle McQueen
        Lady
        Registered On: June 14, 2021
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        Peggy you are a great inspiration to all of us… thank you, and one vet to another… salute!

        1 user thanked author for this post.
        • #643465
          Peggy Sue Williams
          Duchess - Annual
          Registered On: June 26, 2019
          Topics: 20
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          Hi Michelle,

          Thank you sweetie for the compliment!  I appreciate it.

          I am thinking though, there are one or two girls on CDH staff who are so deserving of being recognized with compliments and hugs for all they do to keep things running efficiently.

          Me?  I need to stay humble at all times.

          Many hugs to you Michelle!  Have fun being a girl!

          Peggy Sue

           

           

          2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #642908
        skippy1965 Cynthia
        Ambassador
        Registered On: August 25, 2015
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        Thank you for your service-especially from that conflict as folks like you and my dad who served there were not treated well upon returning to the states which was a shameful reflection on society at the time.
        Cyn

      • #642907
        Kathryn Lynn Peters
        Lady
        Registered On: October 10, 2016
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        Peggy,
        Deepest thanks for a Viet Vet! I served during that time, but in Europe. Always an honor to salute you who went over there!
        Love,
        Kathryn

        5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #642886
      Holly Morris
      Lady
      Registered On: April 15, 2022
      Topics: 5
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      I’ve been a crossdresser all of my life and have gone out in public off and on over the years. However, when I finally came out in 2015 I truly embraced my femininity and began going out in public as a woman much more often. I can tell you that from my perspective, people are much more accepting now than they used to be. I’ve done everything a real woman does (including shopping, trying on shoes, clothes, makeup and going to the women’s restroom) and have never had a problem. There are always a few people who might take a second look, but overall, as long as I’ve presented myself as a woman and acted like a woman, I’ve not had any problems.

      Holly

    • #642856
      Kelly Terry
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: February 26, 2018
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      What I noticed is that the once with biggest issue is the older generation, the younger one doesn’t look at it any more strange than if you are left handed or have green eyes.

      /kt

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    • #642843
      Liara Wolfe
      Duchess
      Registered On: August 14, 2021
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      I do think more people are accepting nowadays. Unfortunately there are still some narrow minded people out there.

      Hugs, Liara

    • #642804
      Crystalline
      Lady
      Registered On: July 24, 2019
      Topics: 11
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      Thanks for the replies! I am in Massachusetts…the cradle of liberty and LGBT pioneers! And as far as my safety Im 6 ft 2 and 230…I doubt even while dressed in pink anyone would mess with me! 🤪

      Might suck it up and give it a go!

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #642963
        Nancy Beane
        Baroness
        Registered On: April 7, 2021
        Topics: 1
        Replies: 13
        Has thanked: 6 times
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        Crystalline,

        Have you tried going out in Northampton? I’m sure since you are from MA you already know it is very gay friendly, and has a high concentration of lesbians out and proud. My CD hubby and I went there for a day trip last year. It was one of the first times I went with out him while he was full on en femme (prior to that was Ptown for a weekend). We actually picked it because I thought given its reputation it would allow me to feel comfortable and safe. And it is doable for a day trip from our home. Though I still felt a bit self conscious at times (that’s on me) we had a great day and no one batted an eye at my Katrina. Walked the town, went into most of the shops, had lunch, went to a CBD outlet, no problems. We were even addressed as ladies by the waiter where we had lunch. Which I’m sure you ladies can attest to was a thrill for hubby.

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        • #642970
          skippy1965 Cynthia
          Ambassador
          Registered On: August 25, 2015
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          I know of someone who lives in Northampton (that I have visited ) who is cd/tg’
          Cyn

    • #642801
      Sandy Craig
      Lady
      Registered On: March 18, 2018
      Topics: 0
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      I would say Cynthia hit it spot on IMO.

      Has always been good in my area but this is not the case everywhere.

      Sandy

       

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #642800
      Michelle McQueen
      Lady
      Registered On: June 14, 2021
      Topics: 24
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      Has thanked: 7443 times
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      With the internet, society is more aware of alt lifestyles and one just has to look around to see all kinds of personal expressions like tattoos, piercings, hair styles, clothes, etc, so its no longer a shock for most people.

      You would probably be smart to avoid children, drunks, groups of young men, and the usual places GG’s wouldn’t go. Its always better to be around other people than alone. When fully dressed you have to think about your surroundings like a female does and be safe. No matter how much exposure we get there will always be those who don’t like us and will let us know.

      At least acceptance is way better than just a few years ago so go for it girl!

    • #642798
      Sandy Honey
      Lady
      Registered On: February 24, 2021
      Topics: 20
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      I do think it is easier now than in the past. Yesterday I was in Macy’s and Publix completely dressed with makeup. At each place I was addressed as Hun, Ma’am and have a nice day sweetie. I didn’t have on a mask and both places carried on conversations with the staff. I highly doubt that would have happened just a few years ago.

    • #642793
      skippy1965 Cynthia
      Ambassador
      Registered On: August 25, 2015
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      While there will akways be rude people around, you will find that most people either don’t notice because they are going about their own busy day, or they will be at the least polite and tolerant even if they don’t completely accept or understand. If you are fortunate, you may live in an area where folks actually truly accept us. The keys are confidence-act like you belong and most will not disagree- and smile-a smile disarms most potential critics.
      Cyn

      • #642889
        Holly Morris
        Lady
        Registered On: April 15, 2022
        Topics: 5
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        Cynthia, you’re exactly correct! As long as you’re confident in your femininity, no one will look twice.

        Holly

        3 users thanked author for this post.
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