- This topic has 13 replies, 13 voices, and was last updated 5 years ago by
.
- Posts
Just recently I have found myself referring to Andrea as almost as a separate person, for example, I picked something up and thought ‘Oh thats Andrea’s’. Or I buy something and now it seems to be for either my (male) self or Andrea. Since coming to terms with who I am and accepting the female side of me, I have always though of the two sides of me as being part of the whole me, just one person in different guises. But now I’m not so sure.
So the questions I want to ask all you lovely ladies are; do you think of your female self as a separate person and refer to her as such? and do you think this is just part of me allowing Andrea to grow and blossom?
I’d love to hear your comments
Quite a tough one that Andrea. For me it depends on who I’m talking to and what we are talking about. Sometime I’m talking as Rachel so she is me at that point, sometimes I’m talking about Rachel and she is a separate person. When out shopping for Rachel, although I’m in drab I am her and she is me. When I’m dressed her and I are one (I think?) I don’t think I have a separate persona as Rachel but aspects of her show through in him, bit more confidence/happiness etc.
When I see something that is Rachel’s rather than oh that’s Rachel’s, it’s more a case of oh that’s mine, regardless of man mode or femme mode lol
dont know if that cleared anything up or muddied the waters a bit more!
Rach xx
Andrea,
I’m a recreational Cross Dresser, so Leah is definitely separate from male-me. However, as I explore this side of me it’s becoming clearer that Leah has been around for a while, even though I just started dressing last fall. Memories of my childhood and adolescence, while vague, give me some indication that this runs deeper than just a hobby.
I do not wish to transition, I have a life as male-me, but I’m finding Leah is becoming a larger presence in my thoughts and emotions. After talking with a number of girls both here and outside, I find there is a spectrum in the transgender community, going from casual dressers such as myself, all the way to those actively in transition.
Bottom line, one size (or label) does not fit all, and each of us has to find our own place in this universe.
Leah
Hi Andrea! You haven’t given me a whole lot of info about what you are experiencing. My first impression is that you may be starting to define yourself as two separate individuals in a common body. This is known as dual personality and is not especially a good thing. As I mentioned, that is my first impression. May I suggest that you speak with a psychologist IF these types of thoughts become more common. On the other hand, I have known people who do develop this characteristic and it is mostly harmless but concerning to those who have a lot of contact with said individual. Do you believe that you are separating the two personalities?
Lady Veronica
Great question. I too struggle with this. I know that both my male and female side are me. I don’t think one has to win over the other. Depending on what the situation is I can draw from the side that’s more useful. Taking what’s best from either. As for his her stuff that I do tend to mentally separate or better yet compartmentalized. As I explore and grow I’m sure those lines will blur as well. Lately I’ve been just trying to not over think it and just be. I accept my I am female and I don’t reject that I am male.
I am two-spirit, genderfluid. I have two separate personalities, one distinctly female and one male, with their own likes and dislikes. I refer to both by name. If my wife and I are talking clothes she will say that Nikki would like that, or I say it.
It is a bit weird, but part of who I am as a whole. I don’t see it as a problem, I certainly don’t feel the need to get psychiatric help for it. For me both the feminine and the masculine are in balance with each other, not one is really dominant.
I fought for years with myself because I felt I had to conform to established gender roles. I didn’t even know there was such a thing as gender fluidity untill about 2 years ago. Once I knew about it a lot of my questions were answered. It totally helped me to accept myself as I am. I honour and respect both sides equally and both have a right to express themselves.
I’m not going to worry about whether it is right or wrong to refer to my feminine side by name, it is my name after all.
What I would say is do what you feel is right for you, and certainly don’t feel bad for referring to your female side by namex
Andrea I think I to am a lot like you as I have found my self more and more becoming two people so I can keep it separate due to the fact only my wife knows. It becomes a lot easier for me to refer to Sara or my drab self in talking about my cloths and makeup even though my drab side never uses makeup my wife and I laugh when I do this but it helps me from making mistakes around others. The last 3 years this has intensified as someone earlier said compartmentalizing my personalities. But in the last few months I have notice me kind of referring to Sara and my drab self as one which kind of makes me nervous as to how far I want to go and what strain this will put on my relationship with my wife. I think my TG group sessions help me be myself and I think talking with others here and in group has helped me a lot. If you want to chat about it more I would love to.
Sara Marie
I think my two side are pretty intertwined but maybe that will change over time? Cause truthfully its been such a short period in time that I have even admitted to myself I have a strong feminine side. I can definitely see how you could almost get to a place where it feels like you are two people. For now though Mélodie and my masculine self are one in the same just maybe different aspects of that person. I hope that makes sense.
I always thought of my male a female side as two separate identities. As much as I enjoy becoming Edie, I didn’t want her taking complete control of my life, so learned how to turn her on and off. Even when I’m dressed as Edie, I can turn her off when I need to. I can also turn Edie on when I’m a male which, since I dress in private, doesn’t happen often.
That is an excellent question. A lot of times it is fairly simple. It is like a light switch, I am either male or Karley. Then the switch flicks faster and faster until I feel neither side becoming both at the same time,with erotic desires for and by either sex, I love that sensation. It puts my inner struggle of male/female at ease.
I started off that way, thinking of myself as two separate personalities but it felt uncomfortable. I think it was because I recognized there was a lot more congruence in what I liked, believed or how I behaved and interacted with others than there were differences because of what I was wearing. But words have power and as long as we use language that provides isolation for the male and female in our lives there is no integration. I try to use the word “aspect” for the feminine in my life. It implies I am a complex individual and have multiple facets, like a gemstone, each one reflecting something slightly different, but still part of the whole. Yeah, that could be absolute wordplay nonsense, but we have been programmed by language all our lives and little tricks can help from time to time.
Someone mentioned dual personality as a potential disorder to avoid. In a way it implies there is shame and want to distance ourselves from an important component of our personality. I agree and my counselor always calls me on the tendency to isolate the female and male in my life as unique and not connected. They are part of the same person, the same mind and spirit and the goal is finding a way to happily integrate all these aspects into a single healthy personality. It’s work, but the benefit is probably a stronger, happier person at the end.
I would like to say thank you to all you lovely ladies for taking the time to reply to my topic. Just to put you in the picture, this has only happened once or twice, it just seemed an odd thought to have, and I wondered what your thoughts were. For the record, I don’t consider myself as two personalities, my male and female sides are part of the whole me and both come to the fore at times irrespective of what I am wearing at the time.
Thanks again ladies!
In the beginning, I definitely felt that I was two people in one body. I continued to see myself this way until I made the decision to live as Gina full time. Now, I am only Gina. I have left my male persona behind. I still do most of the things I did as a man but only now it’s Gina’s time. Even with the few family members I am still in contact with, I identify myself as Gina, not my male name. Everyone I introduced myself too after the life change has only known me as Gina. Gina is me and I am her.
- The forum ‘General Chat “Life as it Goes On”’ is closed to new topics and replies.
Recent Comments