- November 17, 2020 at 2:46 pm #407705MonaParticipantRegistered On: December 18, 2018Topics: 8Replies: 57Has thanked: 300 timesBeen thanked: 380 times
Okay girls, I hope this topic doesn’t get me in too much trouble. We often hear the argument: Society is OK with women wearing men’s clothes, so why is it considered odd or unacceptable when men wear women’s clothes? It’s just clothes, after all. Now, I recognize that there are many in the CDH community who wear feminine attire as a normal expression of their gender identity. In this sense, they are not truly cross dressing. But for many others (including myself), I think the “it’s just clothes” line of reasoning is flawed, if not complete BS. If it were just clothes, we cross dressers would simply run around as hairy men in dresses and heels. Instead, most of us strive to achieve a complete transformation through the use of breast forms, makeup, wigs, removal of body hair, etc., with women’s undergarments beneath it all. Some of us also dedicate significant amounts of time to studying female comportment and voice feminization. In contrast, the vast majority of women who routinely wear jeans and trousers do not simultaneously want to grow facial and body hair, wear boxer shorts as underwear, and use the men’s restroom when out and about. In short, most of us MtF cross dressers want to fully pass, but for almost all women this is not the case at all. Hence, I pose the question/challenge, is it really “just clothes”?
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- November 21, 2020 at 8:32 pm #409270Rei DurdenParticipantRegistered On: October 11, 2020Topics: 14Replies: 451Has thanked: 2814 timesBeen thanked: 1679 times
No, definitely not just the clothes.
The urge/obsession/need to dress is perhaps the simplest and most obvious signpost pointing towards a destination many of us never realized we were headed for.
Once some of the raging hormones of youth have been replaced with (even a small measure) of maturity and life perspective suddenly things start to click and what was once blurry begins to come into focus. That’s my 2 cents worth.
Great question though, and a topic that bears further thought.
- November 21, 2020 at 4:31 pm #409204Jill MarshallParticipantRegistered On: June 28, 2020Topics: 3Replies: 31Has thanked: 37 timesBeen thanked: 178 times
I know I’ve said ‘it’s just clothes’ to myself many times, but I don’t think of it as a line of reasoning as much as I do a defense mechanism, or a starting point in the process of acceptance. Saying it sets aside unresolved questions for or about myself that I haven’t fully unraveled, so I can be free to go find answers in the experience itself. It is a rebuttal in advance of negative judgement I anticipate, that dressing is an expression of some flaw of sexuality or morality or personality. It is a reassurance to others, since there is no common vocabulary or shared understanding between myself and a non-CD of how deeply I believe in what I feel and see. My ‘theory’ would be that the better you know and accept yourself, and the better others know and accept you, the less you say it. I said it to my wife once, during the distress of revelation, but to her I would never have to say it again. If I came out to others, starting from scratch? Knowing what I know now, I’d try not to go there, but it might not be up to me.
- November 21, 2020 at 2:16 pm #409173Ashley LoveParticipantRegistered On: August 25, 2020Topics: 0Replies: 8Has thanked: 6 timesBeen thanked: 20 times
Honestly, it isn’t “just clothes.” I am a M2F cross dresser that would never pass as my body type would stand out like a sore thumb. That being said I can say I feel comfortable wearing feminine clothing (sometimes mixed with a bit of my male persona) doing house work, lounging around, etc. Even my wife (genuine female) sees Ashley as a part of me and just as the clothes makes the man…the clothes makes the Ashley and she brings about a balance in my life that I cannot live without.
- November 21, 2020 at 1:02 pm #409158Sarah Du HessisseParticipantRegistered On: September 16, 2020Topics: 6Replies: 68Has thanked: 399 timesBeen thanked: 273 times
- November 21, 2020 at 11:59 am #409139Rachel McFaddenParticipantRegistered On: November 13, 2020Topics: 2Replies: 11Has thanked: 28 timesBeen thanked: 78 times
It definitely can’t be ‘just clothes’ for the vast majority of us here and certainly not for me.
Unless I spend my whole life cut off from the outside world and any human interaction, who I feel “I am” and the person I’m happiest being can’t really be separated from how others perceive me and treat me. Just wearing women’s clothes will not turn my male form into something/someone that anyone will regard as female and there’s no way I can realistically expect anyone else to consider me to be Rachel if it turn up with a beard clothed in normal men’s garments.
In order to be who I want be and live the life that makes me happy (at least to do that without becoming a hermit) I need to pass, I need to have the confidence in myself to say, “Hi, I’m Rachel” when I meet someone and they need to be sufficiently comfortable in who/what they’re presented with to say, “Hi Rachel” back to me. As a consequence, the clothes, the wig, the breastforms and makup aren’t just a method of covering my body, they are a gateway to the person and life that I feel I am and should be living.
- November 20, 2020 at 4:17 pm #408879Sonia PinkParticipantRegistered On: May 18, 2019Topics: 4Replies: 51Has thanked: 124 timesBeen thanked: 143 times
No it’s definitely not just clothes ( although it’s normally all I have time for !!) I’d say for me anyways it’s about being someone else , I do sometime wonder about many things and how different it can be if maybe this or that would have happened, in my mind I feel more relaxed as a woman , in reality I’m normally tight for time and it all feels very rushed ! On the odd occasions I get time to fully embrace the situation I definitely feel relaxed and comfortable. And again only in my mind to feel I could quite happily go full time , although funnily enough I’d definitely class myself as a transvestite as opposed to transsexual I very much like the thought of being able to choose male or female !!!
- November 20, 2020 at 3:52 pm #408872Amanda BurtonParticipantRegistered On: January 15, 2020Topics: 7Replies: 344Has thanked: 3753 timesBeen thanked: 1337 times
No it’s not just about clothes, it’s about expressing our individual identity and the pleasure of exploring our femininity with in ourselves. Clothes are not just clothes but an important ingredient in supporting the transformation to the female gender we strongly identify with, and happy to be.
- November 20, 2020 at 3:16 pm #408859Sharon WiltshireParticipantRegistered On: July 27, 2020Topics: 3Replies: 51Has thanked: 624 timesBeen thanked: 292 times
No, it is not just about clothes. It just feels right to dress to my gender not my assigned sex. It is not sexual. It is not sensual. It just has to be done to make me feel normal. If I can’t then I just want to die. I guess that this is what is called gender dysphoria.
- November 20, 2020 at 12:54 am #408646Maya SolParticipantRegistered On: July 19, 2020Topics: 7Replies: 23Has thanked: 30 timesBeen thanked: 159 times
It’s not “just clothes” even for me. I see it as an “advanced fetish” / “extra sex activity” but I do feel like 10-20% that I want to be more woman. I do thinking sometimes that it’ll be cool to be real woman, but I’m happy what I am. As for my body, I do keep it hair clean, long head hair (natural) and I even started to do some feminine moves.
As many other things in my life, if I want to understand something I’m creating a set in my mind and thinking what will happen. So I thought to myself: “OK, let pretend that I’m buying a remote farm / house / land / island / whatever, so I can leave freely alone and I can choose how to look, will I fully dressed 100% as a woman?”. In this case I couldn’t decide what I’ll do.
- November 19, 2020 at 7:44 pm #408545Patrichia AnnParticipantRegistered On: November 20, 2020Topics: 2Replies: 2Has thanked: 3 timesBeen thanked: 17 times
In short, no.
I started down this path many years ago in an attempt to minimize hearing crap on a CB (I drive a Semi) about being a slow old person in an old truck and I should retire. My first foray into this was a cheap wig. I soon realized that that made me look like an old hippie with bad hair. So I upgraded the wig over time to a professional quality one. Along the way it also became very apparent that getting out of the truck to fuel and do truck business meant that I had to pass as a true female. This resulted in Breast forms and eventually Hip and Butt pads.
I have had to add a an number of clothing articles over the years and the ability to accessorize and mix/match different articles became important because of limited storage space in the sleeper. I have even ventured into the world of Pheromones to complete the ‘sale’ of the image.
Over the many years I have perfected my look and image sufficiently to fully pass in most all places. I have perfected the explanations for the voice, hands and the part of the arms I will show (expose). I have not been questioned on this in years.
But that leads to the question: is it just the clothes?
I my case I feel the answer is no. Clothes are like an accessory to the Body and the Image you present. Between shaving the body hair, adding forms and wigs to perfect the “base” look, then adding makeup and Pheromones, the clothing finishes off the sale of a Genetic Female look to those around you.
if everything is right, you pass. if not, the ‘tell’ gives you away, and the clothes don’t help the “sale”.
- November 19, 2020 at 7:23 pm #408538Bettylou CoxParticipantRegistered On: May 26, 2019Topics: 17Replies: 1494Has thanked: 2514 timesBeen thanked: 4608 times
Thought-provoking question; THEY are just clothes…until I put them on. Then they become an expression of the identity I suppressed for almost all of my adult life. With 20/20 hindsight, I see that those shopping excursions I used to make, buying clothes and jewelry for my wife and teenage daughters when I was out of the country, were for things I wanted myself. Now I have them, and I feel good about it.
- November 19, 2020 at 7:08 pm #408529Michelle LastParticipantRegistered On: August 14, 2020Topics: 10Replies: 25Has thanked: 38 timesBeen thanked: 260 times
I love philosophical discussions like this. It helps me to better understand myself when others share their thoughts on why we cross dress. I started out wearing just panties or pantyhose. I’ve always loved the look of a pretty pair of panties stretched across a female derriere. I would wear a pair of panties and masturbate while looking at my butt in a mirror and fantasizing that I was seeing a beautiful woman in sexy panties. So, it started out as a fetish with me. And it remained a fetish for many many years. It was my means of sexual gratification as a substitute for my lack of success in attracting the kind of women that I found attractive.
I find it strange that it wasn’t until a few years after I married the woman of my dreams that the thought of going further than lingerie occurred to me. It was then that I began trying on my wife’s dresses along with bras and panties. From there it progressed to shoes, wigs, breast forms, hip padding, and makeup.
So, yes, now it is more than just the clothes. It is more than sexual gratification although that is the primary goal. But I do have this desire to emulate the female look and behavior. It is very exciting to me to try to look and feel completely feminine.
Thank you Mona for opening this discussion.
- November 19, 2020 at 5:29 pm #408500Sa•man•thaFounderRegistered On: January 21, 2018Topics: 304Replies: 1442Has thanked: 6279 timesBeen thanked: 5109 times
- November 19, 2020 at 4:43 pm #408472Jennifer McCrennaughParticipantRegistered On: July 18, 2019Topics: 7Replies: 133Has thanked: 2312 timesBeen thanked: 352 times
I suppose for a fetishist it might just be the clothes (or a particular article of clothing) but I suspect for many of us, myself included, it is more. Much more. While I have no need to transition, there is with me a feminine “streak” that longs beyond words for expression in life. I used to smirk at that “new fangled” term bi-gendered. But as I get older I find myself wondering if that’s not me after all.
- November 19, 2020 at 3:51 pm #408467Jamie KaneParticipantRegistered On: November 9, 2020Topics: 0Replies: 7Has thanked: 48 timesBeen thanked: 26 times
Gee when you put it that way I guess it’s not “Just Clothes” I had always thought it was that is until I dressed fully with the intent of being passable. Because you’re right! I didn’t wanna be a man in a dress I wanted to project the thing that I love about women… feminity. You can’t be a hairy beast dressed in women’s clothing and be feminine. You just can’t. Thanks to the fateful night out fully dressed I thought I was passable. I understand now that I really wasn’t ( didn’t hip and butt pads) I didn’t have a woman’s shape. Since breaking down and joining CDH I have had the chance to hear from many men who are like me and I’m just now starting to get that there really isn’t anything wrong with me. Thank you for the insight it means a lot.
- November 19, 2020 at 3:03 pm #408459LeslieParticipantRegistered On: September 14, 2020Topics: 6Replies: 73Has thanked: 437 timesBeen thanked: 319 times
- November 19, 2020 at 1:50 pm #408426Mikey JohnsonParticipantRegistered On: August 18, 2019Topics: 0Replies: 74Has thanked: 84 timesBeen thanked: 206 times
Wow Mona – great discussion.
This is something I’ve actually thought about a lot – and I still don’t think I’ve figured it out.
But you are onto something – it’s not just the clothes. I think when I started I thought it was. But as I allowed myself to do more with it, and realized I could get wigs, and corsets, and shoes that actually fit, and everything else, well. It went from it sure is fun to put on the wife’s slip on heels and a short skirt to OMG it’s so fun to actually look like a woman!
I think I’ve always thought it would be fun to “be” a woman or a girl. I’ve always fantasized about what it must feel like to walk about in just a skirt and your undies (now I know!), and to have breasts (not really, but they LOOK pretty good!) and to be pretty (now we’re stretching, but I do try).
As I believe I’ve stated before, I don’t really see myself as a female, but just as me – a guy who likes to “imitate” females, and to do the best he can at it. Once I started going down the path I just seem to enjoy it more, and I want to keep doing a better job of it. There’s just something thrilling that comes over me when I begin to get dressed, and do my makeup, and the wig, and the jewelry! And the few times I’ve been out – well, I suppose part of it is I’ve just not done it much, and there is risk, so it’s partly just the thrill of getting away with it. But even apart from that, the feeling of walking along in a skirt with the fabric swishing across your bare legs and a nice pair of heels, your hair brushing your neck, your earrings moving just a little, your shoulders and upper back open to the sun – it’s something divine.
So thanks for the topic – made me think!
- November 19, 2020 at 7:24 am #408293rebekka mooreParticipantRegistered On: January 7, 2017Topics: 77Replies: 846Has thanked: 406 timesBeen thanked: 1618 times
Well my dean, I think it comes down to the individual.
– For some, “just wearing jeans” may be enough
– For some, it may be that and underwear, or just underwear
– For some, it may be wearing whatever and going out in public
– For some, it may be full on dressing including wigs, makeup, etc., but in the privacy of their own homes.
– And so on,
So don’t be judgemental about any of it. We do what we want, what makes us feel good and what we are comfortable doing, and taking the risks into account.
- November 18, 2020 at 5:41 pm #408147Regine RichParticipantRegistered On: October 9, 2020Topics: 11Replies: 180Has thanked: 1797 timesBeen thanked: 625 times
No,its definately not “just clothes” When I put on Regine, I become female, in my emotions, thoughts, and feelings, It truly is a transformation.
- November 18, 2020 at 11:13 pm #408204stephanie plumbParticipantRegistered On: November 17, 2018Topics: 96Replies: 888Has thanked: 1041 timesBeen thanked: 3325 times
Chickens and eggs come to mind here.
Isn’t it possible that the reason that you put on Regine is because you are female? The clothes are an expression of that.
- November 21, 2020 at 5:46 pm #409232Regine RichParticipantRegistered On: October 9, 2020Topics: 11Replies: 180Has thanked: 1797 timesBeen thanked: 625 times
It is possible, Stephanie, My only difference of opinion, is ,when in Man mode, I am a very masculine man, as I have stated before, I am completely alpha male, until its time for Regi. So, am I the yin to my Yang? 2 sides to the same page? An interesting question.
- November 19, 2020 at 11:10 pm #408634Laura LovettParticipantRegistered On: March 26, 2020Topics: 8Replies: 412Has thanked: 1151 timesBeen thanked: 1970 times
Interesting point, Stephanie.
I think it’s rather because of what Gender Awareness is trying to make everyone aware of – the rainbow signifier is well chosen!
We’re all somewhere on a rainbow spectrum of gender and sexuality – the two are interlinked although separate.
Masculine and feminine are gender traits, male and female are “defined” genders, and woman is the feminine side of man.
It’s never been a case of never the twain shall meet, but physically, there’s obviously differences, and a man will never have the same life and emotional experiences as a woman because of how the more obnoxious men treat women.
The problem is that society would have us believe that men are from Mars (utterly ridiculous!), etc., so a man who experiences feelings defined by someone somewhere (probably a bloke in the pub) feels like he’s a wierdo and must suppress this.
Happy Gender Awareness week!
- November 20, 2020 at 3:26 pm #408860
- November 18, 2020 at 9:53 am #407940LeahParticipantRegistered On: June 13, 2018Topics: 3Replies: 197Has thanked: 2532 timesBeen thanked: 600 times
I do agree society does have a double standard in which women can wear whatever clothes they want and they think nothing of it. But if a guy wants to wear lingerie, or a dress or typical female clothing, he is presumed gay or some kind of pervert or weird.
So many people do not understand what cross dressers go through mentally ..the guilt and shame and inner struggles from our feminine side we try to blend in with our make side.
For me, whether I wear something to bed or had leggings, skirt, stockings on…they feel comfortable and natural to me, and not any different then if I had guy clothes on. Maybe that’s why my clothes tend to me more on the ultra feminine side
- November 18, 2020 at 7:01 am #407874ParticipantRegistered On: November 17, 2018Topics: 96Replies: 888Has thanked: 1041 timesBeen thanked: 3325 times
I think you have answered your own question.
No, of course it isn’t for most of us who identify as being female and actively pursue our femininity both physically and emotionally. For us – we don’t consider it crossdressing at all – we are wearing the clothes of the gender we identify with. The problem is that we have a masculinised body, and “society” doesn’t yet accept that we have an equal right to dress as GG’s do.
But …. There are some CD’s who dress purely as a lifestyle choice, and either don’t identify as being female, or don’t know it yet, or are in denial and reject it. So for them, yes, they will argue they are “just clothes.” Lets call them “vanilla CD’s.” But if they are going further and feminising themselves with makeup etc. then it might be more than a simple lifestyle choice, and they may have an underlying feminine identity. So they may tell themselves it’s “just clothes” – but is it? It’s getting complicated now, and my femme brain is hurting, so I’m going to stop.
I assume that drag artists are much the same as vanilla cd’s. Except that they also emulate women as part of their act – but they are (to most) still “just clothes”.
- November 18, 2020 at 6:47 am #407868rhondaParticipantRegistered On: October 13, 2015Topics: 0Replies: 108Has thanked: 554 timesBeen thanked: 186 times
The clothes are just the bait to bring you into this lifestyle , once lured in well you just cant stop , mostly because you dont want to .
- November 18, 2020 at 6:41 am #407866MaeParticipantRegistered On: January 14, 2019Topics: 6Replies: 215Has thanked: 146 timesBeen thanked: 407 times
Mona; CDH’s Queen of Style! Your presentation continues to be one of style and Grace that’s a constant compliment to the World of Femininity. I recently have started my 3rd year as a Dresser. I’m actually a MTF Crossdressing Closet Girl. I spend a great amount of my Dressing time developing my feminine movements and mannerisms and my femme voice. I doubt I’ll ever get the opportunity to step out of my Closet. I liken it to being a House Cat .. feline grace of movement. Women come with many degrees of femininity. Not all display the level of femininity that I admire. My mirrors and my garments are the catalyst to capture and present that feminine feeling and look rather than a man in a dress or a clod in heels. For me it’s far more than just clothing for the body. The movements and mannerisms are the essence of femininity wrapped in the Garments of Display
- November 18, 2020 at 5:56 am #407849Bobbi SueParticipantRegistered On: September 15, 2020Topics: 12Replies: 90Has thanked: 120 timesBeen thanked: 536 times
I agree. Eventually we all come to that realization. But that doesn’t mean everyone is compelled to go further. I suspect most are happy to just switch for a few moments.
- November 18, 2020 at 3:27 am #407830ParticipantRegistered On: March 26, 2020Topics: 8Replies: 412Has thanked: 1151 timesBeen thanked: 1970 times
It goes beyond the clothes for me, for sure, but the reasons for wanting to wear specific items of clothing are so varied that it’s not possible to generalise.
Why would a woman choose an impractical light, low cut dress and wear it on a windy day if they didn’t want to reveal parts of themselves that would be hidden in a sensible jumper and jeans combination?
If men’s clothes are so comfortable and practical, why doesn’t everyone wear them all the time?
Personally, I find dresses and skirts to be far more practical and comfortable than trousers!
Dressing is about the look that you want to have, for most – but then again, not everyone is image conscious all the time.
And then again, people who regularly say that they don’t care what they look like are lying, unless they’re naked.
Because, whether they grabbed the first pair of jeans and first t-shirt that came to hand, or spent an hour deliberating, they chose to look that way.
Women don’t have vast numbers of options ruled out of their wardrobes – they have total clothing freedom, so FtM cross dressing is a rare and generally unremarkable thing.
Male cross dressing hits the headlines – Harry Stiles wears a dress – sensational!
For me (and it’s all personal taste), the appearance of a man in a dress is ugly and requires a feminine hairstyle, feminine makeup, shoes and all the trimmings to complete a look. A dress, to me, is intrinsically feminine.
And yes, I then feel more feminine (Not female), but it’s like freeing up parts of me that are suppressed because of the image I feel I have to maintain as a man.
Can’t discuss clothes with women, especially underwear.
Well guess what?
When presenting the image, many women are delighted to discuss all manner of intimately feminine things with no qualms or glances to see how you react. I had a lovely conversation with a lady who wanted to buy a new wig, and another with a lady who had had a mastectomy, and wanted to look at my forms.
Guess how many conversations like that I’ve had with women in guy mode?
So dressing doesn’t just provide some mystical feminine feeling inside, it projects feminity.
I don’t dress to blend in, as I’m 6’4″. No point hiding when it’s not possible!
Neither do I dress outrageously – but I do wear the clothes that I have seen ordinary women wearing which have caused me to gasp with delight at the image they present.
And enjoy the compliments when I get them. It’s nice to have conversations started with compliments on one’s appearance – and even nicer not to feel restrained in responding!
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- November 18, 2020 at 4:35 am #407841Riley McCortParticipantRegistered On: September 10, 2020Topics: 7Replies: 22Has thanked: 33 timesBeen thanked: 112 times
Laura well said! For me its because part of me is femme. Has been for a very long time. I feel as comfortable en femme as I do dressed in drab. Women have SO many cute things to wear from cute bras n panties to full outfits. Mens clothes are boorrriiinngg!! I have told my wife that more then once. I absolutely LOVE our dress up times. Picking out my outfits. So many options and its so fun. Jewelry and all. I so wish I had a gurl that was a friend to dress with. Anyway keep rockin it ladies!!
- November 18, 2020 at 2:40 am #407828Kay AndersonParticipantRegistered On: June 1, 2020Topics: 17Replies: 546Has thanked: 5532 timesBeen thanked: 2897 times
The funny thing is, I had this thought yesterday of writing an article titled “My Life Beyond Gender.”
All my life I have been sensitive, nurturing, caring, wanting to connect and communicate on a deeper level. Early in life I was criticized for these feelings and I tried to cover them up for decades. I am a much calmer and happier person now. This is my true self.
- November 18, 2020 at 1:24 am #407813Cindy HarperParticipantRegistered On: February 11, 2020Topics: 1Replies: 27Has thanked: 90 timesBeen thanked: 73 times
I am unsure. I think for me it was initially just thr clothes let’s face it they look much better and the choice by comparison OMG.
It probably then grew into a desire to want to wear them more and more but then because of societies views becomes the requirement to be passable and that brings with it a whole other package. Ironically I have just returned from a grocery shopping trip and stood socially distanced of course behind two ladies.
One dressed possibly to go to the office in a smart dress, hosiery and Gorgeous high heel boots. In front of her was another lady in a hoodie with jogging bottoms, clothes I could have just as easily worn without anyone taking a second glance.
But I did not want to be her I wanted the dress and heels.
Unless I had been passable that would have attracted lots of strange looks.
Think I ended up rambling a bit there girls 💋
- November 18, 2020 at 12:46 am #407801Grace ScarlettParticipantRegistered On: July 26, 2020Topics: 20Replies: 566Has thanked: 3219 timesBeen thanked: 2898 times
Well I was going to write this big detailed post…..but Bianca has read my mind….so for mine, read hers…. nailed it B❤️
I would just add, that it has become a lot more for me than just dressing, a lot more !!….apart from work, I don’t just dress female, I act and even think female….I am starting to accept that grace is taking over totally.
lastly, I really don’t want to upset any S/O’s….but if women became ” hairy”, swore a lot, drank too much and developed bad wind when they wore men’s clothes, maybe they would realise more why we start to crossdress anyway.
Love, grace ❤️
- November 17, 2020 at 5:38 pm #407746Bianca EverdeneParticipantRegistered On: April 11, 2017Topics: 16Replies: 567Has thanked: 2003 timesBeen thanked: 1990 times
For me it began with simple cross dressing. Then it did develop into the full look, make up, wig etc. Told myself it was to help me pass in public, to be able to ‘blend in’ not attract unwanted attention, just relax and be out looking how I wanted to look.
Recently realising it’s much more. The feminine floodgates have opened. Loving girly films, girly magazine, talking about girly stuff and OMG feelings with female colleagues at work. I find myself less likely to anger, driving more defensively, even thinking about getting a smaller ‘cuter’ car. Look after my skin and general health much more, even make sure I smell good!!!
Is there a woman in me trying to get out? Or is it just the feminine half of me coming out from under a lifetime of taught ‘masculinity’, societal gender stereotyping.
My life is so much happier now. And think simply cross dressing was the first glint of my ‘fabulous fem side’ coming out. Now it is blossoming and I am no longer living with half of ME buried away. Now Bianca is out in the open I am loving it. Trying to make up for a lifetime of missed experiences, missed because I was afraid they weren’t manly, may make me look a bit ‘gay’, or may attract ridicule. Caring less about these things with each passing day.
”I won’t let them break me down to dust, I know that there’s a place for us, for we are glorious”
(from The Greatest Showman)
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- November 22, 2020 at 3:10 am #409315Roberta BroussardParticipantRegistered On: July 20, 2020Topics: 3Replies: 31Has thanked: 320 timesBeen thanked: 128 times
Bianca, I think you explained the flood gates perfectly. The more I dress, the more I think about dressing. As I’m dressing I feel like a weight is being lifted away from me. My thoughts and actions just become softer and more feminine. It has just been amazing at how natural and comfortable it became. When I’m dressed, even in something as simple as shorts and a top. This female persona just comes over me. Its as though the feminine clothes makes my male persona dissapear. I guess what has been so amazing to me , has been how my female persona is so much stronger than my male.
For me, I think its much more than the clothes.
- November 18, 2020 at 6:41 am #407867ParticipantRegistered On: November 17, 2018Topics: 96Replies: 888Has thanked: 1041 timesBeen thanked: 3325 times
- November 18, 2020 at 1:32 am #407814Autumn ValiantParticipantRegistered On: July 14, 2019Topics: 30Replies: 1090Has thanked: 15480 timesBeen thanked: 2682 times
“Or is it just the feminine half of me coming out from under a lifetime of taught ‘masculinity’, societal gender stereotyping.”
That says it all for me. I can remember as a child hiding any thoughts of participating in anything “girly” for fear of the repercussions. I hid it all too well for so long that I managed to hide it from myself.
So Mona, No, it’s not just the (amazing fantastic beautiful) clothes.
- November 18, 2020 at 12:49 am #407802
- November 17, 2020 at 4:23 pm #407718Rachel CrossParticipantRegistered On: October 13, 2020Topics: 19Replies: 154Has thanked: 909 timesBeen thanked: 793 times
like i said before. women dont dress sexy because they dont want to feel like a piece of bait. they dont want to be hit on by every male that sees them. they just want to blend in unnoticed. women will dress to out do other women or when going out in a group. maybe even to impress the guy shes with to make him feel good. girls dress like most of you cds. to fit in and not to attract unwanted attention. so clothes are really an attention getter, depending on what and how you wear them. more for women because the male sees the outside where the woman sees the inside. thats why you look at a pretty girl and think why is she with him? she sees the inside.
- November 17, 2020 at 3:56 pm #407713Celeste StarreParticipantRegistered On: June 26, 2018Topics: 26Replies: 604Has thanked: 152 timesBeen thanked: 1655 times
Yes and no. First of all we do all those things so we can go out in public without being laughed at or much worse. That’s just self defense. Would I wear very feminine clothing including dresses if it was as OK to do as it is for a woman to wear a pair of jeans? Absolutely
Lots of men remove their facial hair every day and many men remove their body hair as well. There are male oriented products on the market to do both. That does not make them CD.
Lots of non CD men now wear earrings and have long hair so we are making progress. It’s just a lot slower than women.
- November 17, 2020 at 3:55 pm #407712Kristin HParticipantRegistered On: November 2, 2020Topics: 2Replies: 10Has thanked: 50 timesBeen thanked: 63 times
I think most women dress in men’s clothing simply for the comfort and practicality of the clothing. They don’t really try to emulate the masculinity of men (with exceptions, of course) and their femininity still shines through in all but the most frumpy of men’s wear.
I can only speak for myself but I don’t think I’m alone in that I definitely seek out the connection to those precious moments when I truly feel my feminine side emerges and gets nourishment from from the attention and pretty clothes. The women’s clothing I enjoy wearing isn’t necessarily comfortable nor practical but it lights something within me that I enjoy and love.
- November 17, 2020 at 3:32 pm #407710
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