Is it wrong for a man to crossdress and present himself as a woman?

This poll asks if it's wrong for a man to crossdress and present himself as a woman.

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  • #675272
    Holly Morris
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    Registered On: April 15, 2022
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    Hi laides!

    Given how much feedback and response and discussion and conflicting responses and points of view my poll about being a real man brought in, you’re going to really love this one!

    Ok then, so…, what is the poll topic?

    Today’s poll topic is brought to you by… Crossdressers R Us! The store for all those men who want to dress like women! At Crossdressers R Us we can help you become the woman of your dreams, or his dreams, or anyone’s dreams. From bodysuits and lingerie to dresses, heels and hose, we’ve got what you want and need at Crossdressers R Us!

    And now, back to our regularly scheduled poll…

    I know you’re asking, why the heck did Holly just do that?

    Why? Because I want all of us to understand that even though we face challenges as crossdressers (and yes, I know them personally), there’s still a lot of fun to be had. Let’s face it, crosddressing is not normal, at least not in the eyes of most of society. But we are who we are and we can enjoy the fact that we get to be both men and women, something that most of the world’s population don’t, so we’re better off for it.

    However, some of those challenges will always include being looked down upon, cursed at, and not being understood, even by our most loved ones. I get that.

    And even more so, there are always going to be those, on both sides of the aisle (that’s Republicans and Democrats for those in the US, liberals and conservatives for other parts of the world) who are going to say that regardless of how we feel inside, we shouldn’t crossdress. That our feelings don’t count. How we were born is what and who we are. Your mental image of yourself doesn’t matter. That crossdressing is wrong. A mand is a man and a woman is a woman and there is no in between. That crossdressers are spiritually bankrupt and crossdressing is morally reprehensible even.

    But is it?

    Sure, if you crossdress with the intent of commiting a crime, then yes, it is wrong. If you crossdress with the intent of fleeing from someone or hiding from someone, that may or may not be wrong (it would depend on the situation). If you crossdress because the woman inside is who you feel you really are and she needs to be able to become as real as your male self, then that is not wrong.

    So of course, that got me to wondering… (and finally, to the topic of today’s poll).

    Is it wrong to crossdress? Is it wrong for a man to want to dress like and present himself as a woman? Is it legally wrong? Morally wrong? Ethically wrong? Spiritually wrong? Physically wrong? Emotionally wrong? Biologically wrong?  (I could go on and on here, but you get the idea…)

    So that’s it. That’s the poll for today.

    Jump in ladies, now is your time to really let your voice be heard! I foresee some very interesting responses and discussions taking place from this poll (I hope so, anyway).

    Hugs,

    Holly

    (Editor’s note: let’s stay away from discussing the political on this please.  Thanks.)

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    • #676747
      Michelle Brown
      Registered On: August 23, 2015
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      Holly My answer to your question is,to put it simply,NO ,it is not wrong for a male to dress and present as a woman.I am not as educated as some of the ladies here,having only a high school education,but being blessed with the gift of common sense.Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and if I can present as a cis woman and not offend anybody ,I have achieved my goal of being the best I can be,{shades of the US Army}.I ,when dressed as Michelle,shop at whatever store I want to and when shopping as Michelle for dresses its usually Dillards,Macys or Nordstrom Rack.The average crossdresser ,when fully dressed as a woman,has at least invested totally three to four hundred dollars just to achieve their goal of presenting as a natural female.Our money spends as well as a natural females money,so I ask you ,in all honesty,Whats the problem?I apologize for the rant,Thank you foe allowing me to voice my opinion.Sincerely ,Michelle.

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    • #676446
      Jessica Ann Flowers
      Registered On: July 18, 2021
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      Hey, Ladies:

      What a very interesting poll question and the deeper thoughts that went behind the inspiration to ask it.

      Is it wrong for a man to want to dress in women’s clothing and present himself  I public as a woman. I of course voted no. For me it comes down to this. Does me wearing a pretty dress, some sexy heels and a bright red lipstick actually cause me or anyone else any actual harm? Does it infringe on anyone’s right to live their life as they see fit? Does it harm the planet in any way. Does it go against nature. To all of these I say a definitive no.

      Beauty is a part of nature, a natural and wholesome part of life. Same sex attraction and gender fluidity are, despite what some like to claim, are aboudent in the animal kingdom.  Expressing beauty has nothing to do with gender rigid confines in nature.  There are species un the animal kingdom where the male of the species is the one who is the flashy, pretty one. There is nothing unnatural in that.

      While I am not a woman,  and will never truly be one, I do like to look and feel pretty, feel desirable and yes, even fell sexy. I like being a man. But I also have this part of me that longs to, needs to, enjoy the aspects of feminine beauty in my self expression. I admire and am attracted to feminine beauty and femininity in general. I am not an overly masculine man. I’m quite sure that I have a slew of effeminate ways about me. I’m fine with that.

      Wearing a pretty dress, sexy heels and bright red lipstick make me feel good. They bring a level of happiness and peace into my day. They bring excitement and the possibility of fun and adventure.

      I’ve been dressing up in my apartment for almost a year and a half now. I like how I feel and how I look enfeme. But it has come to the point where dressing up in seclusion just isn’t enough for me. I long to be seen, to be complimented and celebrated for that fun, pleasurable, fulfilling part of myself. I mean what’s the point of wearing a pretty dress if no one ever sees you in it. Being seen and appreciated for your own innate beauty is half the fun of wearing a dress.

      In my journey I have come to the place where I  want to be seen, where I want to have the freedom to wear whatever I want, when ever I want, where ever I want. I want to be able to hear the click of my Jessica Simpson stiletto heels as I walk down  the street. To feel the skirt of my dress flow around my legs as I walk. I want to be admired and celebrated for my sense of style.

      I want to express my femininity. For me it is more about being free to be feminine than about trying to be a woman. If it is OK for a girl or woman to be a Tom boy why shouldn’t it be OK for a man to be Tammy girl? Who does it harm? Who’s rights does it infringe on?

       

      • #697105
        Karynn Norman
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        Jessica, that was stated as eloquently as I could ever imagine. What a beautiful and thought out response. You absolutely nailed it. No one is hurting anyone and we are just being ourselves.

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      • #677073
        CelesteCD
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        Your journey is exactly like mine too.  You captured it perfectly.  Not sure where it will lead….but I continue to follow the path…

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    • #676408
      Lara Tucker
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      Registered On: September 29, 2021
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      Hi Holly,

      NO!

      Hugs,

      💕Lara

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      • #676435
        Gwyneth
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        Hurry up and get to your point! 🤣

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        • #676445
          Lara Tucker
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          😂

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    • #676349
      Jane Don
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      I’ve always found it strange that a Cis woman can be accepted no matter how “Manly” they dress but a man can’t dress Fem without nasty repercussions–In a Free country–How does this happen?

      • #676394
        Daniel Sublim
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        I think a lot of it has come from the equality movement of women. I work in the power industry and when I started the only women in a plant were the administrative workers who never went into the plant. Now we have a lot of female engineers and even a couple Union workers that are female. Once you go into the plant the dress code changes. You have to wear natural fiber or fire resistant pants and shirt with work boots, hardhat, and safety glasses. Now it took a while for the industrial clothing industry to catch up and start making those fire resistant cloths for women and now that they do they charge more for a woman’s shirt than a man’s, so I really can’t blame women for wearing men’s cloths in these situations. I am not even going to go into Arc-Flash resistant clothing as the options for women in that line is very limited if not none existent.

        Now I am also going to throw in one final straw with the fact that when women first started in the industry they didn’t want to wear jeans or shirts that showed off their assets. This would draw attention away from their skill and of course cause some talk about how a woman was able to progress so quickly up the chain, not that it didn’t happen regardless, but it would only bolster the claims if she wore cloths that took advantage of her assets. Of course now we have moved to the opposite extreme where we no longer always promote the most qualified candidate as DE&I quotas are required to maintain certain tax advantages from governments.

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      • #676381
        Gwyneth
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        There was a time when women wearing pants wasn’t accepted. Maybe the pushback wasn’t as nasty and didn’t take so long to take hold. But…

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    • #676346
      Daniel Sublim
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      I don’t believe it is wrong for a man to go out in public be it shopping or going to a bar dressed as a woman and present themselves as a woman as long as they are playing the part of a woman as well. With that said though once the encounter changes to a romantic type encounter some information needs to be made known to potential partners. I believe this goes for a lot of other situations as well, for example if your married and a swinger or polyamorist and picking someone up at a bar they should be made to understand what you are looking for before it gets too hot and heavy.

      I know some people look at it that if they believe themselves to be female that all guys should accept that, but the fact of the matter is most guys believe two swords in bed is a gay relationship regardless of the fact that someone fully presents otherwise as a female. I also think those that have fully transitioned need to be honest, if a guy wants to date you he may be looking for a woman to start a family with and having been a man previously creates all kinds of complications when it comes to baring children.

      • #676825
        Jessica Ann Flowers
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        That is sound, sensible logic. Be honest and open about who you are and you’ll have a much better chance of finding people who like and accept you for the beautiful, unique person that you are.

    • #676301
      Michelle Trott
      Duchess
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      I hope it is not. I do it all the time.

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    • #676224
      Abbie Normal
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      I’ll just leave this YouTube link here for an explainer of why defining men and women is challenging from a science perspective. I think given this information, there can be no question that people can dress however they like within a given culture.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szf4hzQ5ztg

      • #676397
        Lara Tucker
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        🤯

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      • #676236
        Amandah Opal
        Baroness
        Registered On: April 13, 2022
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        Awesome Abbie and thank you.

        In a similar vein, I just finished reading Testosterone by Carole Hooven, Carole teaches at Department of Human Evolutionary Biology at Harvard. Its a fantastic insight into hormones and behavior and an easy read.

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        • #676241
          Abbie Normal
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          Ooh, I will check that out! Thanks Amandah.

          — Abbie 🥰

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    • #676042
      Amandah Opal
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      Hi there Holley.

      Thanks for raising this, a pet subject of mine.

      Behind the answers sits layers of expectation. While society is slowly modifying its Euro-Western social construct of the male/female identity and laws are being eased, there is still some way to go. It appears crossdressers are vulnerable as society may view us (and respectfully not including those transitioning) as gender outlaws/wannabes, as we swing between male and female personas, temporarily abandoning our male responsibilities as an assigned role.

      Crossdressing of it’s self is a direct challenge to our social construct of the male/female. As members of the transgender community traipsing back and forth at will we illustrate the artificial nature of the cis-based protocols of society. Regrettably, these expectations keep the majority of crossdressers in the closet and prevent us from being politically active, ever needed by the LGBTQ+ movement. It is this single ability to move back and forth which is our greatest strength and demonstrates we can have more than one gender.

      Lastly, when I dress I’m fully committed and ever respectful to my gender at that time. It never enters my head to think otherwise. I’m genderfluid and love every moment of it. While dressed in public, I do it for both personal and political reasons/motivations.

      So Holley my answer is a very firm NO!

      Thanks again and hugzzz Amandah

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    • #676036
      Kris Burton
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      Registered On: August 6, 2022
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      I certainly think there is  nothing wrong with crossdressing and presenting yourself as female. However, you should not try to fool people. Not right, and it could prove dangerous – for you!

    • #675816
      BillieJay
      Managing Ambassador
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      I have an interesting take on this, as a TG and the manager here.

      In my opinion, if you are out in public dressed and presenting feminine, you should totally interact in a feminine manner, in all the ways associated with that.

      personally, one day I present masculine, the next day feminine, and when doing so I try hard to practice protocols associated with that representation, whether it be crossing my legs at a table, or doing my business in the restroom associated with my presentation.

      • #675824
        Lauren Mugnaia
        Duchess
        Registered On: November 1, 2021
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        Thanks BillieJay,

        Exactly! If you’re going to present as a woman in public, then you’d better have your mannerisms, your makeup, your clothes, nails, shoes, hair, jewelry and your speaking voice, all down pat! I am a trans woman, legally a female, I went shopping today at a local Mall, dressed in everything I mentioned above, and acting accordingly. Even then I was scrutinized by a number of people while waiting in the lineup at the cashier.
        So, no, technically, it isn’t wrong for a man to crossdress and present himself as a woman, but if you’re going to do it successfully, you need to do it right!!
        Even as a fulltime, transitioned trans woman, I get “clocked” sometimes. A couple months ago I was out with a friend for coffee and had a gentleman lean over and say “If you’re going to do it, you need to be good, and you’re very good!”
        So,there you go, IF you’re going to DO it, do it ‘good!’

        Hugs,

        Ms. Lauren M

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    • #675720
      Lucinda Hawkns
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      i said not for the reason real woman dress like men and get away with it. so why can not men dress up like a female and get away with it. plus, society is not understanding the cross dressing world

    • #675718
      Carolyn Kay
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: August 25, 2016
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      How can it be wrong just to be yourself? It is society that established that we may not fit into their Norm, Shame on them.

    • #675536
      Erica Love
      Duchess
      Registered On: September 2, 2022
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      Hi Holly,
      Thank you for your question and poll.
      I voted no, and that was an absolute No.
      I have a 14-year-old transgender child that was born female, but identifies as male and is adamant about full medical transition.
      Looking back on his life, I try to understand what he was going through. He cried when mom put dresses on him. He hated dolls and other girly toys. Until he was 10 years old, he had long hair down to his butt, but finally persuaded his mother to let him cut it off like most boys hair. And at 10 years old, that’s when he came out to me but hid it from his mother as she is not as accepting of things like this. He wears boys clothes every day, walks, talks, and acts like a boy. He is out to all his friends, and thankfully, and painfully came out to his mother last month. I totally support, and am so proud of my son, who has taught me to be a little more courageous and accept the deep feelings I’ve locked way for so many years. I didn’t ask for this gift of femininity to be present in my life nor did he wish for masculinity, we were born with it. I absolutely do not believe it is wrong for him to dress and act like a boy, and for me to dress and act like a lady.

      Regards,
      Erica

    • #675530
      Trish White
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      Registered On: December 2, 2021
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      Absolutely not period. Crossdressing is not a choice it has been with us, in us and a part of us since we were born. There are two people living in our bodies, one male and one female and they both need no require to be seen as who they are. When in guy mode, I’m a guy and do guy things for myself and my family. When I’m Trish I’m a girl and do girls things because we both need to and this will never change. Good post again Holly, thanks.

      Love,

      Trish

    • #675477
      Patty Phose
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      Registered On: May 7, 2016
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      I’ve been crossdressing my whole life. I love it. I love the look and feel of the clothes and how I feel when wearing them. I love the thrill, excitement and experience.

      At 17, I began going out dressed. It was scary but incredibly exciting and an amazing experience like nothing else. To me, going out is the ultimate crossdressr experience.

      Am I doing something wrong? I don’t think so. I’m not harming myself or anyone else. I think what makes it scary though is society may not think what I’m doing is harmless.

    • #675473
      Sara Thomassm
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      Personally myself I don’t think there’s a right answer or a wrong answer

      Sometimes in some situations pronouns get in the way most of time when I crossdress I’m expressing my feminine self

      Like the old saying is if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck then is it a crossdresser

      Lol

    • #675456
      Greta La Folle
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      Registered On: August 6, 2022
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      Hi Ladies and Girls

      Granted that passing yourself off as someone else is dishonest but anything criminal. .
      Those who, in the past, met me whether it was a man / woman / tgirl always knew in advance who was the person they were meeting.
      When I went with my ex-classmate to Ayia Napa (2016) and we were together in a nightclub or restaurant we were generally approached as girls, but I quickly replied that I was a tgirl.

      Obviously if in the future I could go out again enfemme (I hope soon) and someone greeted me wishing me “good day / evening lady”, I would not waste time explaining that I am a cd or a transgender, I would respond cordially to the greeting; however, it all depends on the situation and who we are facing.

      H&K from Italy
      Greta ❤️

    • #675454
      Emily Alt
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      I don’t think it’s wrong.  I look at it this way.  A century ago, women fought for the right to crossdress.  Now it’s called fashion.

    • #675391
      Fiona Black
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      As long as it’s not done for fraudulent or criminal activities, it’s perfectly fine for a man to cross dress.

    • #675388
      Gwyneth
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      Registered On: January 21, 2021
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      I’ve read all the responses. And I respect each viewpoint as being for the person responding. We all come from different backgrounds, different directions we wish to travel. No one has the same path. Different reasons for why we are here. Different wants to come away with. Mine is certainly far away from most. But I love you all! REALLY!!

      Wrong? Is it wrong for a plain looking woman to put on makeup to change into a princess? No. Is it wrong for a man to clean up and be nice to someone when this might be the total opposite of what he will be when the dating is over? No. Women have always used makeup to present the prettiest face for her man (when that is what she is after) even when she won’t go to this measure after “getting” her mate, just as he won’t pick up after himself and say the nice things she desires after “getting” his mate.  Men are visual, women are auditory. Generally speaking of course. My point: even what we call “normal” people are deceptive.

      Is it right? I must say the only one that this question has any bearing on is the individual looking back at you in your mirror. If it is RIGHT for you, then yes. If you think it’s WRONG, then it is. If like myself, YOU HAVE NO IDEA, hang in there. Get therapy from your friends, your CDH friends, even a therapist if necessary. Know there’s NOTHING WRONG with you. YOU are a special person. WE all have a place in the tapestry of all people.

      How did I vote? I haven’t yet. This is a huge poll. Most that Holly starts are, this might be the deepest yet. You are a special friend. I think I know which one I’ll go with, but for now, I’ll think about it more!

      Gwyn

    • #675361
      Araminta Purdy
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      Only if, as you say, the purpose is the commission of a fraud (not so much a crime). For example, I am not sure that wearing a mask is a crime itself when robbing a bank. The question is whether a ‘tort’ is created. That is, “… an act or omission that gives rise to injury or harm to another and amounts to a civil wrong for which courts impose liability”. Otherwise I see no valid reason for the imposition of any judgement or restraint on authentic genres of athenisation.

      Araminta.

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    • #675359
      Lauren Mugnaia
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      Well, I wish I could post a picture of my ID/license on this, but the picture is of Lauren, and it says FEMALE. I am a trans woman. I have known this since early childhood and the family doctor suspected I may be an intersex variation. So…I’ve often dressed in women’s clothes and presented as a woman, because that is who I’ve always felt I was. They were MY clothes! Now I am a trans woman, legally a female.
      Is it wrong?????

      Hugs everone,

      Ms. Lauren M

    • #675356
      Stevie Steiner
      Managing Ambassador
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      Eek!  Ok.  Well, I have actually heard someone say that a MAN wearing womens clothing is fine, but passing themselves off as a woman is….. dishonest.  It has even been suggested it mocks women – a point I argued against!

      Now, when I mentioned that I was transgender, they did back off somewhat.  Their thought was that being a tg takes the “man” label away from me ( naturally), so there is no dishonesty involved.

      People can be very particular in how they think of things.  Go figure….

      Stevie

      • #675365
        Lauren Mugnaia
        Duchess
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        Hi Stevie, There really is a huge difference in how people react, a friend I know has met a lot of negative response when he says he’s a CD, whereas I have had nothing but very positive response and reaction when I’ve said I was a trans woman.

        Hugs,

        Ms. Lauren M

    • #675355
      Саманта
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      Sure, if you crossdress with the intent of commiting a crime, then yes, it is wrong.

      Even in this scenario, the crime is the thing you’re doing wrong, and not the crossdressing. The crossdressing is just incidental.

    • #675354
      Rayna Carlian
      Duchess
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      I have two simple things to say:

      1. I voted No, because it isn’t wrong to do a thing that harms nobody.

      2. can open, worms everywhere…dear me Holly…LOL

      Just have fun out there everyone!

      XOXO

      Rayna

    • #675351
      ChloeC
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 5, 2019
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      Hi Holly,

      Well, this is a really difficult question.  I badly want to vote ‘No’, but I had to think it about it for a while.

      It is wrong to dress and act like a law enforcement official and not be one.  It is wrong to dress and act like someone in medical services and not be one.  There are a lot more occupations I can imagine where dressing and acting are in no way acceptable if one isn’t in that field. Not ever. Absolutely.

      So, how is a male dressing and acting like a woman ever harmful?  When it’s done for reasons that may be harmful in some way to anyone else.  Now that’s a big grouping and there may be some who have very personal reasons to feel ‘harmed’ – when they aren’t really, they’re just being harmful to the cross-dresser in turn for purely personal reasons.

      And there’s the rub (as Shakespeare would say). How can anyone determine what is harmful? Only courts of law can do that, whether we want to accept their pronouncements or not. Right now, if someone is acting in a legal, non-threatening manner and there are no laws against cross-dressing, then they can dress and be who they want to be, male or female…as long as they continue acting in lawful ways. Furries are a wonderful example. I don’t understand them, but if they aren’t harming anyone, it’s their business not mine.

      I understand that there are some who would like male cross-dressing to be illegal, but I can’t believe it’s ever going to happen as I don’t see how it could be applied to genetic males crossdressing but not genetic females without violating certain basic constitutional rights given to all citizens.  But, that’s my opinion, and I don’t know the future.  I can only remain hopeful

      Hugs, ChloëC

    • #675344
      Jennifer Lynn
      Lady
      Registered On: August 15, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 307
      Has thanked: 133 times
      Been thanked: 1770 times

      To paraphrase Barbara Mandel “If dressing is wrong, I don’t wanna be right”

      • #675587
        Holly Morris
        Lady
        Registered On: April 15, 2022
        Topics: 88
        Replies: 197
        Has thanked: 2609 times
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        Quote: can open, worms everywhere…dear me Holly…LOL

        Rayna, that’s what I do best!! 😉

        Hugs,

        Holly

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #675338
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 0
      Has thanked: 0 times
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      Holly,

      It is not wrong for a man to dress as a woman.  First of all, it is just clothes, shoes, and makeup.  It is not harming anyone.  If a man feels like a woman, why can’t he express his femininity?  If you wear tasteful, conservative clothes and do your best to present as a normal woman, society should accept you as one, regardless of what may or my not be between your legs.

      Kerri

    • #675337
      Jennifer Swanson
      Duchess
      Registered On: April 20, 2019
      Topics: 67
      Replies: 251
      Has thanked: 5428 times
      Been thanked: 2073 times

      As long as you’re not robbing a bank.

    • #675317
      Holly Marie
      Lady
      Registered On: August 8, 2022
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 90
      Has thanked: 104 times
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      Nope – it’s NOT wrong!  I understand the bit about not dressing for nefarious purposes – but criminals inevitably adopt disguises on many occasions – and no-one thinks that is anything other than just part of their”personality”.  I note that Jackie mentioned that “people aren’t stupid they know when a man is cross dressed and trying to act like a woman” well, have a look at todays (September 8th) Featured Photos and note the picture of Karen Shea; I would defy anyone to “know” that she is a cross dressed man!  No – there is nothing wrong with dressing up – I think the world would be a much better place if a lot more of our politicians pulled on a mini skirt every so often…  Holly XXX

    • #675315
      Barb Wire
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: September 16, 2021
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 704
      Has thanked: 4028 times
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      Being a woman and presenting as a woman are two very different things, but are often linked. The first is something you just are and the latter is something you hope to achieve. I think those with gender dysphoria understand this.

      Anyone else who dresses culturally feminine without some gender dysphoria and still considers themselves fully male is a mystery to me. I’m not saying it’s wrong, but I just don’t get it.

      Barb

    • #675300
      Kelli Marlowe
      Lady
      Registered On: August 4, 2020
      Topics: 13
      Replies: 173
      Has thanked: 2105 times
      Been thanked: 995 times

      it’s only wrong if done for nefarious purposes

    • #675296
      Jackie
      Ambassador
      Registered On: February 18, 2016
      Topics: 28
      Replies: 190
      Has thanked: 340 times
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      I voted yes. Why? Because people aren’t stupid they know when a man is cross dressed and trying to act like a woman. This is a big part (Ifeel anyway) of why cross dressing in the eyes of many is so unacceptable for the most part. I think it’s a direct insult to a woman, any woman. If people would just start being themselves cross dressing would become more acceptable. The reality of a man trying to be a woman is senseless. You are a man and will never be a woman. Most folks believe it to be a prety hilarious scene. I am a 24/7 dresser, I don’t one a thread of male clothing, I don’t try to be a woman or act like one. While it lays true that I have many feminine qualities the fact remains I’m a male. I don’t try to deceive anyone by trying to act like a woman. I’m me and for those that dissagree with how I dress or carry myself can and do have the privelege to turn they’re heads and look the other way. I’m not trying to be a jerk or a B here, it’s my opinion that everyone should just be who they are regardless if your gay, born a male who wears a dress or whatever, just be yourself and if it’s dissaproval you meet keep going, the grass is usually greener on the other side.

      • #676883
        Jessica Ann Flowers
        Registered On: July 18, 2021
        Topics: 1
        Replies: 29
        Has thanked: 30 times
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        Jackie:

        I think that I understand and even agree with the point that you were making here. I fall more on the crossdresser end of the transgender spectrum.  I am a man  have always been a man and always will be a man. I don’t fully understand why I have the desire to dress in women’s clothing, or why it brings me so much pleasure to do so. But I do know that the clothes don’t change me. I’m still the same person in jeans as I am in a skirt.

        But having said that there is still this part of me that wants to know what it would be like to experience life as a woman.  I have been closeted most of my life. I have found the more that I wear women’s clothes in the privacy of my own home the more that I feel this ever growing desire to be seen and to be appreciated for that side of myself.  I do not know of yet just how deep seated that desire is. I don’t yet truly know just who I am.

        I think, based on my own inner feelings and on the many testimonials that I have read from the wonderful ladies on this sight, that there are many of us who start off as crossdressers and can and do end up desiring to transition. I think that for some putting on the dress, so to speak, can be the spark, the key that unlocks represents feelings or inner traits that were just seedlins awaiting a liwatter and sunshine.

        Being a crossdresser is not easy. It is confusing, in it’s way, and it is or can be, a thing that brings bouts of self loathing. I know that I never chose to become a crossdresser. It is something,  for what ever reason, that is a part of me. I am just trying to figure out what it all means.

        I am coming to the point in my own acceptance and understanding of just who and what I am where I don’t really care whether I am simply a crossdresser or I f I am something further along on the spectrum. I know that I just want to come out of the darn closet so I can be seen and can explore this side of myself to discover where it will take me. If that leads me to wanting some form of transition,  then fine. If not, that’s fine too.  Even if I discover that what I want is to go back into the closet to just enjoy the simple pleasure of wearing women’s clothes in the privacy of my own home that is fine to. But I just want to know once and for all who I am.

        For me, like many things in my life, my transgendered thoughts are feelings are like a diamond.  They are multi faceted. It’s depending on what facet I am am looking at at the time on how I think and feel about it. I think that this only natural, since I’ve never really had the chance to truly explore this side of myself.  Because of my circumstances in life for many, many years I had no choice but to repress that side of myself.

        I’m rambling on here, so I think that I will end this for now. But to sum up my initial reason for responding to what you said, I think that you make a solid point. A person so be true to who they are and not pretend to be something else. I agree with you point that if it’s just the clothes that you like wearing, then just do that. So what if a man, straight or otherwise, wears a dress everyday out in public if that is what makes him happy

        5 users thanked author for this post.
        • #697114
          Allysa Grant
          Lady
          Registered On: November 1, 2022
          Topics: 0
          Replies: 167
          Has thanked: 1315 times
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          Good evening ladies.  I don’t think it is any more wrong for a man to present himself as a woman as it is not wrong for a woman to present herself as a man. Please don’t get me wrong. We all want to present ourselves as we want to live and nothing should prevent us from doing so. Hugs, Allysa

          2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #675321
        Lauren Mugnaia
        Duchess
        Registered On: November 1, 2021
        Topics: 19
        Replies: 497
        Has thanked: 7026 times
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        I’m sorry, not trying to offend you, but you obviously don’t know or have any understanding of what it means to be transgendered. We are born that way, it isn’t a choice we make…

        • #676152
          Jackie
          Ambassador
          Registered On: February 18, 2016
          Topics: 28
          Replies: 190
          Has thanked: 340 times
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          So yes I do understand what it’s like to be transgendered. I have friends who are trangender, good friends. But you took what I said completely wrong. This is why I usually don’t do these polls. We all know diversity, man try being a gay drag queen for a week. I, as a open and out drag queen/ Cross Dresser don’t try to act as a woman or be like a woman yet I feel sometimes I was born in the wrong catagory. The fact remains I’m a male in a wig, makeup and high heels. Now Transgender is a whole other story from cross dressing don’t you think? Transgenders are wanting to go to extreme lengths to actually become female and that’s respectable and I personally commend them. Good luck in your jouney. I hope I have made myself clear here and not been misunderstood.

          4 users thanked author for this post.
          • #676178
            Lauren Mugnaia
            Duchess
            Registered On: November 1, 2021
            Topics: 19
            Replies: 497
            Has thanked: 7026 times
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            Hi Jackie, thanks, and please accept my sincere apologies. I understand now where you’re coming from, and I appreciate that.

            Hugs,

            Ms. Lauren M

            4 users thanked author for this post.
          • #676740
            Jackie
            Ambassador
            Registered On: February 18, 2016
            Topics: 28
            Replies: 190
            Has thanked: 340 times
            Been thanked: 806 times

            It’s all good Lauren, thank you.

            2 users thanked author for this post.
        • #675529
          Trish White
          Baroness
          Registered On: December 2, 2021
          Topics: 3
          Replies: 388
          Has thanked: 2282 times
          Been thanked: 1551 times

          So true Lauren, it is a part of us.

    • #675292
      Rozalyn Richards
      Lady
      Registered On: July 27, 2022
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 460
      Has thanked: 459 times
      Been thanked: 1757 times

      Hi Holly no i don’t think it’s wrong if a man wants to crossdress and present as a woman, as long as they don’t do any harm to other people, clothes are just clothes and they can’t say I’m sorry only a woman can wear this dress 👗, we all have our own tastes about clothes, they all say if you’re a man and you like to wear what is deemed women’s clothes you are not normal but it’s normal to a crossdresser,

      Hugs Rozalyn X 💋

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