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Ladies,
I am wondering how many of you have a wife that is intimate with you while you are either fully or partially dressed?I try to be accommodating in this regard for my husband even though it is not my preference. It seems a lot of the ladies I have talked to would love to be intimate with their wives while dressed but it is a hard pass from their wives. Genuinely curious.
Thanks,
BettyHi Betty,
I’ve mentioned this before, in chat, but my wife & I have been intimate, numerous times, when I’ve been en femme, to various degrees– from just lingerie to full-blown Dawn. I feel so much more sexy & exciting. Some of the best we’ve ever had & she’ll admit that. As much as we enjoyed it, a couple of years ago, she said, “No More!” I think she found that not only was I enjoying it too much, but so was she. I think she was afraid that she was “becoming a lesbian.” She wants her man, but strangely enough, in foreplay, she still treats me like a woman. I just don’t understand. I really miss it.
Dawn
Hi Betty.
Unlike many I came to crossdressing after marriage when my wife asked me to wear her lingerie for fun whilst we were intimate. For her it was a bit of fun, for me it awoke feelings I didn’t know I had. I gradually wore more female clothes until I was fully dressing when I could, always in secret. Fairly soon I wore panties once or twice a week with her knowledge and then pantyhose keeping my own in my drawer. The rest remained secret until a few months ago. I felt so guilty and ashamed hiding the full picture that when an opportunity arose I told her. To be honest I assumed given the panty wearing she had guessed but she was surprised. It is not her ideal and not what she married, but on the other hand I didn’t do it when we met or for the first 6 or 7 years of the marriage. As you might expect she is processing all this, it took me years to accept it so I don’t see why she shouldn’t take her time too. The current situation is that I continue to underdress regularly, and sometimes dress fully when she is out, but with her knowledge. She tells me when she is on her way home.
I haven’t dressed fully with wig and makeup in front of her, and will leave that moment if it ever comes to her although I am very nervous about the idea. I keep my girly clothes and makeup in my drawers openly, they go in the wash etc. with everything else. I have no idea where it will go from here, as I say it is up to her. I feel lucky to have this much. I tell you all this for context before I answer your question.
We have a good, regular and lively sex life. It is quite common that I wear panties, sometimes at her request to put the ones on she has been wearing. It is less common that I wear hose, but it happens maybe once a month. She tells me I have great legs but seeing me in panties and nylons does nothing for her, however I have noticed she always orgasms when I do wear them.
We have been intimate once when I have worn a skirt, nylons and panties but no bra, wig or makeup. As I say that will be at her speed if ever. She often talks of me wearing stockings and a garter belt while we are ‘enjoying’ ourselves. She says the idea my private area is framed by them is sexy. We have of course discussed this, and I cannot tell whether she is trying to say sexy things for my pleasure or if she means it. Her answer is that once she is turned on she doesn’t care she gets wrapped up in the sex. So it is kind of mixed messages, but it is up to her how much more we do. She has to cope with all this, I am not going to force anything on her. After all sex is largely in the mind.
Sorry it’s so long, I hope I have answered. For what it’s worth she tells me I am much calmer, relaxed and er sexed up since I told her. I should say she considers that a good thing.
Wow, you are a great couple and an example to all of us! My wife doesn’t want Brielle anywhere near the BR yet, but we will need to soon explore some different ideas like yours. She was against my shaving body hair before, but has softened to it. Come January 1, I intend to socially transition, and may go full glue-on 100% human hair wigs and be completely en femme even at bedtime (or playtime – giggles!). The HRT will eventually work it’s magic and my body will slightly but definitely move toward feminine.
My wife married a man, which she points out to me occasionally, but she also loves and supports me. I think we’ll find a happy medium. Maybe she’ll be okay with me being more feminine from the neck down, and “masculine” from the neck up, if I’m okay with that compromise position. I have no ideas of having my own hair styled. Too much male-pattern damage, and I don’t want to waste money on tramsplants when I could use it for other areas, like face or breast enhancements.
Brie
Hi Dawn, I sympathise and can relate to this. I suspect my wife may have similar worries. The view I take is that she is going much further than most wives just allowing me to dress. It took me many years to come to terms with how I feel and so I will give her space to do the same. In my opinion she married a man and if she wants sex to remain that way it is her prerogative. I know that doesn’t take away the disappointment for you.
Oh yes absolutely, I have a boyfriend, I wear beautiful/romantic lingerie to bed almost every night, and we have a great sex life. I feel so girly wearing lingerie to bed for him, he loves seeing me in it and it definitely heightens the anticipation/excitement of making love. I wore a gorgeous lace/chiffon bridal negligee to bed the very first time we made love and he couldn’t believe his eyes. I knew he was excited and ready to get me into bed that night and it definitely makes our lovemaking incredible when I wear romantic lingerie to bed. He can’t wait to get laid when he sees me in it. It’s thrilling being with a guy and wearing lingerie to bed for him.
Well Betty as for the bedroom fun ha ha yes wife accepts Stephanie in the room with her for the fun games ha ha .. Not her favorite person to have there but we have lots of girly fun and she seems to enjoy it as for Stephanie she gets her womanly fun also from time to time so its a wonderful tradeoff as hubby and wife then girlfriend to girlfriend is a pleasure .. Wife says she is not a lesbian but sees that Stephanie is and has her needs also so she accomadates her with these feelings she needs met also.. Such a wonderful wife ..
Stephanie bass
Well back when we were dating once she knew of my love for pantyhose but before she knew I was a crossdresser we would have sexy time while both wearing pantyhose and a camisole. She mentioned how she could tell how much more turned on I was. Yes is was more for me but she would play along. Since I’ve come out to her as a crossdresser we have had some intimate times while fully dressed , makeup , wig , heels and at times by her request but like others have said she prefers me in male mode for “ play time”. She does it occasionally for me as she knows how much I enjoy it and to switch things up.
After coming out to my wife late last year she has been so wonderful in terms of supporting Carole. Helping me with my wardrobe, being ok with me taking trips and going to keystone. It’s a journey of acceptance of which I hope will continue.
in terms of the bedroom it has been a total off limits area so I have to respect it. Would l like it yes … but I would also like to be 5’6” , 130 pounds with size 8 woman’s feet. So I’m putting one foot in front of each other as we continue on our trip of acceptance with maybe some hope for some fun in the future .
hugs
carole
Now, only panties. The first time I tried to introduce anything femme in the bedroom was many years ago when I playfully slipped on one of her satin camisoles in her presence. That was a hard “no”! She allows me to wear very basic panties but nothing beyond that. She did mention that if I do want to wear something it has to be after she’s fallen asleep and after the lights are out. I’ve done this only a few times but since I am so nervous that she’ll wake up or reach over and feel it on me I stopped doing it. It makes her pull back and gives me a great sense of rejection and guilt. So, I stick to wearing basic solid color full back brief panties and slide into bed without her seeing me. I guess I have to try and see see the small victories as great ones. It could be worse.
<big sigh> well, Betty, tbh, it was sort of the exact opposite of what you described for us. Early on in our marriage, a few times over several years, I will have to give her a lot of credit as she was more than willing to try for intimacy while I was, well, slightly en femme. Unfortunately – but only for those moments, and those moments alone – it just wasn’t working, as I just couldn’t get into girl-girl couplings. But it never, ever in the least affected any other moments of, ahem, bedroom activities of which there have been…a lot.
Hugs, ChloeC
Yes on some occasions we have fooled around while I was in fem mode
Yes, regularly as a matter of fact.
Caroline
Yes. Quite often. We both love the feeling of being girlfriends.
No intimacy while I wear anything more than panties. This was a fantasy in my younger years, before finding the absolute love of my life. I find that my thoughts are all about her when we are together this way so there is no need for my being dressed. If it were something she would like, I have no problem with it.
Hi Betty, you certainly come up with some great topics. Unfortunately for me being intimate with my wife while dressed as Trish is and always will be an unfulfilled fantasy. One time only I was able to sit on the couch with my wife fully dressed as Trish and talk. She even complimented me on my dress and wanted to know where I bought it. As we sat and talked I wanted so badly to kiss her and make out with her but it didn’t happen. It is however something that I have never forgotten and still fantasize about. The strange thing is, she told me she has fantasized about being intimate with another woman and I felt like screaming “Trish would love to make out with you”.
Love,
Trish
To rehash the old saying “no way Jose”.
My beloved “knows about Caty, but does not want to know”… These days, “it” does not even happen much under “normal circumstances”, so the idea of being being in anyway femme is just not gunna happen.
I divorced my first wife over 20 years ago and she went ballistic when I left a bra laying around. So only the Good Lord knows what she would have said or done had I been wearing it at the time.
Caty.
This ain’t happening with my current GF. Ditto with the last half dozen SO’s. MANY years ago I had a GF that was into it. Way before her time, BTW. Kinky….to a fault. She was a blast but the sex got to be too freaky even for me.
However, several interactions in recent years made me realize anything is possible. I just have to look in the right places.
Obviously, the GG in question has to be very open minded and capable of resolving inner conflict.
I need to find a wife or SO to be intimate with first, so I have to resolve that problem first before trying it en femme. LOL.
Hi Carmen, I’m in the same boat right now and reading these to get a sense of how others are handling their dressing with a partner. My biggest takeaway is just the need to communicate early in the relationship to find someone that could fully accept “Janice” both in non-intimate and intimate ways.
Best wishes,
Janice
My ex wife wanted nothing to with my crossdressing let alone the idea she would be intimate with me while I was dressed. She did have a two year on and off affair with a women at work but that did not led to any desire to be with her husband dressed as a women.
The second time my now wife and I were being intimate she shocked me by asking if I’d wear her panties. Of course I said yes! Turns out she thinks a guy in panties is sexy but that’s as far as it goes, her panties don’t fit so she did buy me some of my own . She claimed she mistakenly purchased the wrong size for her but I’m pretty sure she purchased them for me. I don’t force the subject of wearing more lingerie at least for now . I know a good thing when I see it.Natalie 💋💋💋💋
My wife has reluctantly accepted my crossdressing. She is OK with my wearing panties, thigh highs, and a cami when we are intimate. She has drawn a line with me wearing one of my garter belts when we are intimate though which I would really like to do. I guess that is a step too far for her. She also used to dress in sexy lingerie herself when we were intimate but that stopped too once I started wearing my lingerie. She was happy to wear pretty things for me but decided once I started wearing lingerie that she didn’t have to anymore. At this time in my life, I will take what I can get. 🙂
Hugs,
Emily
My partner is intimate with me when I’m dressed in Lingerie but I just become so femme and need more…..however I know I’m being selfish and my partner needs her man, but in truth I was never a man. This is so upsetting because I love my partner. xxx
That’s how I was able to bring out my cross dressing to my wife. One night I slipped a pair of panties and she saw an instant improvement in “it”. This helped to bring in other items such as stockings, garter belts, more panties, teddies (match sets) and even a strap-on for action. Of course I can’t dress up all the time we make love, I need to prove I’m still a man, but inside I’m still that quite women that wants out! I will confessed I did try dressing up in a skirt and top once, no makeup or wig, as a joke to she how it would go over. It didn’t and she said no that it hurt her image of me as a man! Confusing since I can wear a teddie, panties, garter belt with stockings. So to answer your question, yes we are intimate.
Betty I have wondered many times about this scenario with a partner. I would like to try it – certainly when I’m en femme, my mindset is all woman. By that I mean I might flirt a bit, I might dress trying to catch my partner’s attention. I’d also like my hand held, a door opened…all those little things that would make me want to show my affection even more. All of those things add up to where my physical desires as a woman have their needs too. And to have a partner who would eagerly want that, sounds heavenly to me. I would be all for it. Alas for now, I just dare to dream…
Betty,
Typically I will wear a chemise while being intimate, I have worn panties and stockings at times also. It is like frosting on the cake for me, but for her, she is used to it, but does not t=hing for her. If she wants to feel just me, she will take my chemise off. She thinks I need the lingerie in order to orgasm, which I do not, but it certainly make it better for me. I try to give her a a mix of dressed and non dressed.
One time while I was fully dressed up and kissed her, she pushed back and kind of freaked her out, so have not tried that one again.
Have you read Living with Crossdressing: defining a new normal by Savannah Hauk? Savannah talks about this in the book and it is a normal reaction. The book is great for the SO and the CD. It was like $5.99 on Amazon for the digital copy. I think the more we learn as the SO, the more accepting and accommodating we can be.
Hugs,
BettyBetty,
While I had read ,most of the CD books out there, I see there are a couple of her books I have not read, ordered both books. Thank you!
I agree with you that they more we discover about cross dressing , it can make things better…but not always. While my wife says I can dress anytime i want, in realty she is more passive aggressive in saying that. She does not say anything…good or bad. which of course makes my mind go towards the negative…
I started “dressing” and grooming (removed all body hair and I didn’t have much), a little over 3 years ago now.
Since then, my wife and I have not been intimate with me. She flat out refuses. She is not accepting of any of this. She is supportive of others, just not me.
I’ve paid the price.
Rebekka,
Thank you for your response. I think if there is one thing I can do while on this site, it is to shed light on the mysterious mind of the wife. I often hear and read in the comments that the wife is supportive of others but not the husband. I think things get lost in translation in these situations. I don’t know your back story and I apologize for making assumptions however, I think it is less that she is not “supportive” of you and more that she doesn’t find the feminine characteristics attractive. What you are supportive of and what you find attractive does not always align.
Hugs,
Betty[postquote quote=652813]
My late wife and I stopped being intimate after she found out about my crossdressing, she never encouraged or wanted to know anything about Jenny. that was well over 20 years ago. Our relationship was still one of love and we told each other that we loved each other several times a day.I accept some responsibility for that as I should have given her the option to back out of the wedding by telling her beforehand.
This seems to be a typical pattern: almost any woman you ask will profess unwavering acceptance of and support for CD’s – but only until it is the man they married or are otherwise with in a committed relationship.
I was married for 28 years to a woman who consistently rejected all of society’s notions about gender roles or identity and after discovering my proclivity for panties (and lingerie, generally), gradually drew out the suppressed woman in me.
Not only did this involve regular dress up and make up sessions during which she would expertly transform me into quite a passable female version of myself, but also her relegating to me “traditionally female” duties and activities. (Not only cleaning, laundry, cooking but also doing embroidery and manicure/pedicure courses).Although we were always very happily married, a transition in her attitude developed in later years – about 2 – 3 years before she sadly passed away:
just as I was beginning to fully embrace my feminine self and develop confidence in my being as a woman, she turned around with that nasty interrogation (which I have subsequently learnt about in this forum).
“Are you gay?” – “Do you want to BE a woman”? – etc., etc. …I felt unpleasantly surprised and disappointed.
Love,
Katherine
My ex-wife had tried sex with a girl before we met and she liked it when I was dressed in bed and we had sex. My SO at this moment always wear a nightgown to bed and so do I and she doesn’t mind me wearing it while we are having sex, I have not tried to wear more lingeri to bed with her. At the moment the nightgowns are enough for me, but as I have ED most of the time I do girly things with her which I’ve learned from a lesbian site selling toys, and that’s something she and I really enjoys. It’s really nice to do things to here and in my head being a lesbian.
That sounds so comfy and relaxing both of you wearing something pretty to bed every night. At least with toys there’s nothing premature going to happen. Just kidding… well, sort of.
Theresa
we rarely use any toys but we have a huge collection LOL, some are just crap and some are very good. The latest buy will do the job in less than 3 minutes. You can PM me for further details.
Since I made the decision to wear what I like and feel good in, and remove all of my body hair (I did not have a lot to begin with), my wife refuses any intimate advances.
That was better than 3 years ago now.
It’s funny, usually when I’m en femme it’s just hanging around the house. But during intimacy, regardless of what I’m wearing, I’m Kate, even referred to as such. It’s really a how we are feeling, spur of the moment kind of thing.
I’ve had several male partners who were not attracted to me in girl mode.
They wanted nothing to do with Jenny in bed, not even something “small” like me in panties or thigh highs. 🙁
Ultimately, those were relationship killers for me. Plenty of fish in the ocean! 🙂 Which I would also say to any wife who does not want a CD husband. Why torture yourself? Part company and go fish somewhere else.
I envy your casual approach to relationships, wish I could just say ‘see ya later’ to my CD husband. If it were only that simple.
Like the swans or eagles or beavers, I choose a partner for life. In this case, I guess it’s a curse.
Sincerely, Birdie
Yes she is. I can wear lingerie or a sexy nightgown to bed and she will be intimate.
I can have a dress on, makeup heels, wig etc and she will be interested in me.
She still sees “me” even if I am dressed as a woman.
However, I truly love her and respect her so I don’t dress every day although I want to do it and I don’t sleep in sultry lingerie every night.
It works for us and there are no issues or headaches.
Susan
my wife and i tried sex once with me in pink pantyhose and she said never again and we haven’t had sex since and that was over 12 yrs ago
I’m sorry to hear that. I personally don’t find it attractive but I want my husband to do things that make him feel sexy too. Right now we are testing the waters with a feminine item or two every once in a while. We can add more once things are all a bit smoother and I am better adjusted to this new chapter together. I remind myself often that communication and compromise will get us to a good place.
Hugs,
Betty
I think not all biological-women are mentally open to accepting having a CD husband.
When my future ex-wife discovered that I had a suitcase with my women’s underwear: thong, pantyhose, stockings and my cosmetics all this was the fuse to ignite an absurd war to obtain a divorce.
Given that in the presence of my future ex-wife I have never been able to wear make-up or women’s underwear ….. Not even for carnival disguises.
Life is a beautiful thing, and we should all be able to live it happily!
While it may be a huge turn on for me to wear pretty things, it’s not always shared with my partner. I don’t need to be dressed at all to be turned on with her but it’s a very nice bonus. I love feeling totally femme, a nice simple teddy, ideally breast forms with hard nipples (who doesn’t love nipples under clothing?), jewelry, but she still wants me to get hard and I have to admit I still do no matter how pretty I feel. It can be difficult at times and I certainly don’t want to dress in pretty things only when I’m alone but that’s pretty much what I do now.
No she isn’t, but then again she hadn’t been when I was in male mode either. For a man I was poorly endowed and was unable to please her, thus her finding pleasure with other men and occasionally women. That became the beginning of her decision to transform me and feminize me. She said I would make a better woman than a man and learn how to please and satisfy men. It turned that she was very right.
We still love each other very much and enjoy each others company. We do everything together but as girlfriends, and when she introduces me to others, I am her girlfriend/housewife.
After my transformation was complete we had a small intimate gathering for a new marriage ceremony and I was the bride and she bought me a engagement ring and wedding band. That has been off my finger only a few short times in 27 years.
My wife isnt into getting intimate with Ellie but she is happy for me to wear lingerie to bed. She is happy to cuddle up and all that with me wearing satin PJs or a nightie but not sex.
Years ago – back in the 80s before we were married she was staying over at my house and her clothes were on the floor from the night out before. She was into wearing stockings and suspenders then, so after an intimate session in the morning I jumped out of bed and put her suspender belt and stockings on. We often messed about like this in the early 80s – crossdress scrabble (whoever wins a word gets to choose which item of the oponents clothing to wear and we swap) and things like that.
So then I jumped back into bed and we got intimate again which was ok but halfway through she undid the suspender belt I was wearing – letting me know she wasnt keen on that, and I felt a bit bad and never did it again.
At the risk of sounding like a humble brag, I have to say YES! My Miss adores Nikki in all the ways we spend time together. She’s bi, and last weekend she said the most amazing thing to me. She said “I’m missing being with a woman, and I want a girlfriend again. Will you be my girlfriend, Nikki?” I was floored and moved and excited all at the same time! Our date nights are going to be super fun!
Nikki, I had a bi girlfriend who said almost those exact words to me. She is actually the one who started me dressing. Too bad the relation flamed out.
Hi Betty,
My wife doesn’t understand why women want to wear women’s clothing, let alone her husband. When I came out to she said married a guy and wants to be with that guy. In our house intimacy and crossdressing are like oil and water … they will never mix.
Cheers,
Robin
My wife and I had done it twice. The first time for her was more of a curiousness about what it would be like maybe with a woman. The second time she was not into it and said she has no bi or lesbian inclination so I have never pushed it since.
I know she would if I asked but I’m going to wait for her to ask about it first.
It depends how far I take it. My SO enjoys being intimate when I wear sexy lingerie without all the other stuff to help me try to look more feminine. When I’m fully en femme trying to look as passable as I can with breast forms, wig, nails, full makeup, ect she is NOT interested. We can dine, watch TV or movies, generally hang out and she’s totally cool with it but no intimacy. I completely respect her boundaries and appreciate the support I get from her considering that we were married 30 years before Lola came into our lives.
💕Lola
The short answer is yes, we are intimate while I am dressed frequently. Mostly it is lingerie, but I have been fully dressed except for wig and make up in bed several times. She always enjoys it and has very intense orgasms as do I. We have a great sex life when not dressed as well. My dressing, and her exposure to it has been slow in developing, and I always give her veto power which she has never exercised. She is pretty indifferent to it, and is just as happy with us being naked as dressed.
I came to dressing well into our marriage, and very slowly. I always had an interested in all things feminine, and put on mom’s things a couple of times as a kid, but then nothing, and no desires for many years. The first time I wore my wife’s pants was when we were engaged and she was out of town. On a total lark I put them on and wore them all day. That evening we were talking on the phone and I admitted I was were a pair of her sexy panties, that I was aroused and we had phone sex. I didn’t wear anything for many years after that. I always like nice lingerie, and bought things for her frequently then one day asked if I could wear her panties while we were in bed. She was fine with it, and seemed to enjoy how turned on I was. I admitted how much I liked wearing them and she just said that it did nothing for her, but if I enjoyed it then fine. She said they were just clothes.
I have added items over time and she has always been fine with anything new. I am sure to let her know how much I enjoy it, and I make sure she is well satisfied in bed as well. I started wearing more and more outer wear and while not really keeping it a secret, I kept it well out of her view. I finally just told her I like to dress en femme and if she ever had a problem with it to let me know, which she has not. Her only comment was I probably should go out in public, which I admitted I probably shouldn’t, (I didn’t tell her I do). We were having an intimate dinner with wine at the time and were both wearing sexy lingerie and silk robes when we were discussing this and the evening quickly moved first to the back patio after losing the robes and on to the bedroom for some passionate sex. Since then I have worn matching bra, panties, garters and stocking plus a black dress and 3″ heels for more amazing sex. She seems to really go out of her way to please me when I am dressed as such, so while she has never openly encouraged me to dress, she certainly has never shown and discouragement. I blame her for much my desire to dress en femme because every time I do she makes me feel so go that I just can’t help myself.
Dear Betty
What a fantastic question. Well done for bringing this up. It is obviously generated a lot of interest based on the large number of responses.
For my wife and I, we are intimate both ways, girl on girl and the more conventional husband and wife. My wife says my dressing does not really ‘turn her on’, but she understands my needs to be dressed and to be as much as a woman as I can. So I am often (usually) dressed: lingerie (and even heels) or night wear (but always a bra) and often makeup and wig. But I also want to cater for her needs and this involves nudity on both sides. Afterwards however I do dress up in a nightie/bra again and we continue cuddling.
So we look out for each other’s needs and desires – but this is true for all aspects of our joint lives, not just during the most intimate of interactions. This is what makes an enduring and happy relationship – things cannot be only one way and selfish (even though the dressing is sometimes overwhelmingly compelling).
I do like Lisa L’s idea of matching lingerie and night clothes. I’ll have to make that suggestion to my SO.
I would like to give my heart felt praise to all the tolerant, accepting and even enthusiastic SOs who allow us ladies to be so in all aspects of our lives.
thanks
Christine
For us, it’s sort of a down the middle approach. She’s fine with me wearing anything I feel pretty in, teddy or nightgown, although I don’t really like nightgowns lately, it seems old fashioned and I prefer something shorter, also lighter and lacy. Bra is okay but no forms. Jewelry is okay too, which is great because I love the feeling wearing necklaces, rings and bracelets. No wig or makeup. I feel pretty lucky actually. She looks pretty in lingerie or even flannel jammies so it’s okay she doesn’t really share the same passion although I do love it when she has a long silk nightgown on and we snuggle up.
Ex wife was on and off. One day great with it, the next throwing, literally throwing a fit about it. She was very controlling and looking back, I think very uncertain of her own sexuality. My wife is ok with my dressing around the house. Not so encouraging, but consistently ok. We tried intimacy a few times with pantyhose and she found she was not comfortable. So, I dress for all but sex. That is a compromise, but one we can both be happy with.
Hi , yes we do get intimate , she likes to be in bed with her girlfriend as she calls me , it adds a bit of spice to things and brings us closer together
Hi Betty, I have to say how envious I am of all you out there that have the chance for intimacy with your SO. As somewhat excepting my wife is with Sherri, there is no way she will be intimate with her. It is truly a wonderful thing that you share your intimacy with him and care for his feelings.
Sherri
Always wear lingerie usually a panty, bra, half slip or full slip, woman’s fragrance and a woman’s robe to start. Married 45 years. I do like to throw on a lesbian DVD to move things along.
I love feeling pretty in lingerie. I get hard wearing pretty things. Does that happen for you as well? Just curious what might be happening. I also love to wear jewelry and that has been a problem as I guess it’s a bit too feminine.
Off topic because it’s not regarding a wife or SO but I’m totally the same way… I love wearing pretty things and jewelry is always the first thing I think about even before nice clothing. I just love the way necklaces, bracelets and rings feel on me. I’ve only done that alone however because I’m not sure how that would be accepted. This is the first time I’ve talked about it so thanks.
When my girlfriend and I began dating last summer, she was supportive enough to buy me several panties. Now, 10 months later, I suspect the novelty is wearing off on her. She has told me that underwear was her limit, so she has only seen me in bra and panties. I wish I could wear them (and other lingerie) to bed with her every night, but I am cautious to wear them with her only sporadically.
When I first came out, a handful of times. She said that, even though it was not her thing, the confidence I had in panties turned her on. Once she even took pictures and commented on my garter belt during the act. And then… she realized she doesn’t like it. Yesterday she actually reinforced that she “can’t deal with the panties thing”. She also asked if it hurt me. I half-lied and said “not really, but I would be very happy if you did like it”.
So I pretty much stopped letting her see me when I dress, and will be careful not to let her notice I’m underdressing, either (panties with clasps do help). I will also keep my dirties in a laundry bag in a nightstand drawer so she doesn’t have to wash them accidentally — even though 99% of the time I’m the one doing the laundry. My main concern is that, if (or when) my dressing goes beyond underwear, I will have to choose between being honest to myself or keeping her happy.
It seems as if your posts here point to how you really feel. You love your husband but you are not comfortable with where things are going. Just as though we cannot change ourselves, you cannot change yourself either. So i would say either set concrete barriers, go to marriage counseling, or its time to have a serious talk.
My wife also “accommodates” me. We have set barriers and I respect them, but I do fear that one day its all going to come crashing down. Just like “i didnt ask for this”, she also didnt “ask for this”. It will be an ongoing test of our love and respect for each other. I hope everything works out for you as it does for us also. Try to keep open communication about how you feel. It doesnt do any good to keep feelings to yourself even if they are “negative”, or in other words, honest.
Yes my wife and I have been intimate together while I was dressed, and actually it’s extremely rare that I’m not dressed , either simple panties and a nightie or maybe even more. She accepts that it’s me and it’s what I enjoy, and if I’m enjoying it then I’m even more into it and wanting to satisfy her needs before my own. I asked her was it like being with another “real” woman? She said it didn’t really matter because she loves me and regardless of what I’m wearing she is getting what she needs from the situation. We have taken it further at times to test the waters, having her call me by my female name, teasing me and only touching me in the way you would touch a female, can’t get to detailed or graphic here though! But the simple answer is YES, it’s our normal routine now.
My wife dislikes and don’t even want to see me when I dress Feminine, let alone be intimate, But I will tell you that it would be my dream to be able to dress Feminine and be able to be intimate with the one I Love, I believe it would be very arousing , and it would take sexuality to the next level , But for now it’s just my Fantasy, Thanks for the article and your story,
To be intimate with me en femme, my wife might want to be interested in being intimate with me at all.
She gave up many decades ago.
I personally am very lucky to have a wife who embraces me being femme or masc. She is a bisexual woman who occasionally desires the feel of being with a woman. She really enjoys intimacy difference when I am fully dressed and smooth. Once in a while we even reverse roles and she assumes the position as a the male.
I don’t get the opportunity to dress as often as I would like and be intimate, as I still get feelings of wanting to hide it regardless of her level of acceptance.
In summary, we both enjoy the intimacy in a different and new way.
Jennifer, that would be amazing to have a wife that would want to reverse roles. You’re so blessed, with someone that so understanding,do you have a awesome day today,
Hi Betty,
To answer your question, yes, my wife is willing to be intimate with me while I’m dressed, whether partially or completely. However, I respect the fact that she married a man because she is attracted to men and not women, so I don’t dress up very often for intimacy. It’s to her credit that she is willing to indulge my fantasies now and then. I’m very lucky to have her.
Hugs, Jill
This has been pretty much the dynamic in our house. She seems to enjoy my being dressed and the sex has been great when I am (and it is great when I am not), but I do not want, or need, to dress to often. I jokingly blame her for my desire to dress, because the sex is so good when I dress that she positively reinforces my dressed because it is so good. I have always told near she can tell me if I have gone too far, but that has never happened, so I have to assume she is fine with me being dressed. While she has never actively encouraged me to dress, she has never discourage it, and by her active participation does encourage me to dress, though I intentionally keep it limited.
That all said, it has been awhile since we were intimate fully dressed (though my wear lingerie is quite frequent), so I am looking forward to getting fully dressed with her very soon.
My wife did twice and then never again. Like some of the other posts my stated she is not attracted to females so this does not work for her. I loved the two times we did this.
So on and off my wife will not mind me dress as Jenny. This means a bra and breast forms then a nice teddy on with lite makeup. She even gets into it and will rub my chest and talk dirty to me. And then there is times when i try and i am dressed and she wants nothing to do with Jenny and if i say ok i will take it all off she states don’t bother she is nit in the mode and walks away.🫣😥
For me i love to be dresses, and when it comes to sex i get more accited and feel more romantic when i am dresses in nightgown or teddy of some sort.-
Since transitioning to live as Michelle I’ve only been intimate with men, but it’s an absolute precondition that I am Michelle the entire time. I will only play the “female” role and must be wearing my wig and breast forms. This sadly means that I have to keep my bra on. I’m looking forward to the day when I can take it off and be fully naked with a lover.
You go girl.
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Same here, it was amazing. I still dress but our intimate days have gone forever, unfortunately.
My wife is intimate with me while I am en femme. However, I am careful to make sure that she’s okay with it before we get intimate. There are times when she would rather be intimate when I’m not en femme..which is more than okay! I respect her wishes. We’ve gone as far to develop code words to use when she’s not in the mood to be intimate with Ashley, and when she’s in the mood to be intimate with Ashley. The code words seem to work out extremely well for us because it allows us to break the ice easier about intimacy expectations while I am en femme.
When she’s okay with it, is she feeling you as another woman? That would be pretty nice actually. Or does she run her hands over your panty and feel you down there? I’d definitely be aroused feeling fem, wearing jewelry and pretty clothes.
My girlfriend and I often enjoy wearing a bra and panties together, but not every day, only a few times each week. This is her limit. She will not permit me to go any further, either in or out of bed.
I wish she was open to more. She knows I have forms and dresses in the bureau. These are for DADT situations when she is traveling and I am home alone.
I have to accept her conditions. It is better than nothing. I feel blessed but also live in hope that someday I will be free to live and lie down in peace with her without limitations on clothing.My SO has been on occasion. The first time I dressed in front of her the sex was amazing but kinda fizzled from there. Other things happened in our life and opportunity hasn’t really allowed anything, the occasion i underdress we have been intimate but I’m not sure how forced on her behalf that is lol. I wish she was more into it an I’m jealous of other relationships that openly enjoy it
MyMy ex-wife wasn’t into sex with me dressed as she said I looked like a trussed up chicken.
My girlfriends since my divorce have all been willing and in some cases very keen to be intimate while I was dressed and it is really good.
I don’t think I would want a relationship where I couldn’t dress all the time.
This is a thing I attempt to test in the early stages of a possible relationship because it is important to me.
Hi Betty,unfortunately my wife thinks its an abomination and if she catches me crossdressing again she will leave me. I understand her feelings but it is such a shame she is so threatened by it that we are no longer intimate at all.
Wow. That is just so sad. I can only imagine how you feel with her saying that to you. I would think your marriage would mean more to her than just having a crossdessing hubby. Have there been other issues and she may just be adding this to them? If not she is being totally unreasonable. Really sorry that you have to face this. 🙁
That is my take as well. Sexy lingwrie is just plain erotic. No reason it can not be as erotic on men as women. My wife knows I like it and likes to please me, so ir is great in thay respecrt, but I like to pleasure her, and if she will acxept me in swxy lingerie, I.will do my best to please her as best I can. It is teuly a.qin/win situation.
I am having a similar situation with my girlfriend, JJ, She has a very large collection of sexy bras and panties and keeps buying more and more. I think because she likes them for herself, she likes them on me too. She just bought me a sexy, lacey bra and panty set. She and I agree that sexy is sexy, no matter who is wearing.
Curiously, however, she has stated that she does not want to see me in full drag. Even mentioning dresses or shoes is a tremendous and immediate turn off for her. I can only fully dress when I am home alone. I can live with that compromise.
CeCe
I guess it depends on her mood. Sometimes my wife would let me pick something out to wear or pick something out herself. Other times, she would start getting in the mood, feel the tights under my jeans and completely stop and roll away from me. Our intimacy time is so few and far between now that it’s a moot point
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