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Tonight I took my dog out for a really long walk through the streets of Cardiff. Left the house, down to the main road (6 lane dual carriageway). Crossed at the lights… past the park…. Down two very bright and busy commercial streets and ultimately back home…. Not a care.
We got back just after 9PM. I wne to make a coffe and remembered that I have to go shopping tomorrow…. Then I thought why wait. I jumped in the car and off I set to a nearby Tesco Extra. A huge supermarket next to a large student complex.
Money, debit card, phone and keys in my little hand bag (no bloody pockets… Well there were but they are small), mask on and in I go. Bag over my shoulder, bags for life hanging off the trolley and I’m walking around a busy Tesco almost forgetting that I’m wearing a black woollen dress, black tights, knee length boots, and a borrowed from my wife Parka coat. Loads of students, quite a few couples, and one or two families.
I get what I need to get. This isn’t my normal Tesco, so I have to look for stuff. I head to the till. The man on the till asks me if I need bags. Then if I need a hand. Then starts chatting about the storm we had last night. Goods bagged and paid for. I bid him farewell and head to the car. Bags in the car and then I walk the trolley back to the trolley bay. Back in the car and then it hits me…. This is normal. I never once felt awkward. Never once felt the urge to scuttle away. Never once avoided a busy aisle.
It felt perfectly normal.
I get home. Take the shopping in and put the kettle on. It’s bin day, so I take the bins out and out them in the street. Then I remember my car need to be put on charge, so I go in the house, get the keys, go back out and put my car on charge…. Not a care. It’s becoming normal.Now I’ve had time to think about this…. What is it leading to? I don’t want to be a woman. I don’t feel like a woman (whatever that means), but this is becoming very comfortable. I’m a little concerned that the excitement might go. There has always been a little excitement when out and about, but tonight, it was all just normal.
What happens then? Does dressing as a woman become as dull as dressing as a man?
Whilst I’m glad that it feels normal, I’m a little concerned that the fun will go as the nerves go.
Anyone else wondered this? Those of you living full time, does the dressing become uninteresting? I’m not planning on living as a woman, but I am dressed 80% of the time these days. Is reaching the goal of it becoming normal ultimately the cure? If wearing a woollen dress and boots to Tesco has no kick to it, I might as well go in jeans and a jumper…. Something to ponder.Cerys.
Indeed Cerys, this is the new normal. You feel comfortable in your dress and heels doing normal things without a care in the world. You engage with the world and they engage with you.
Will the dressing as a woman become as boring as dressing as a man? I have found it is never boring as I am always on the look out for a new item of clothing. Dressing as a woman is all consuming in looking right and presenting well. You will have your favourite outfit and style which can be put together quickly but needs a final check before you go out and checked through the day. Does a man do that? It can never be dull as there is so much choice out there and so much more to want and to try. It can never be a real normal.
Where will it lead? Who knows. Just enjoy yourself. I can say that I have days that just come and go but I have never lost the thrill of dressing. It will lead to where you want it to go.
I remember when I first started underdressing there was this level of excitement that at times could be quite distracting. I have to admit it was a wonderful feeling but at times I wished it wasn’t there.
My solution was to force myself to underdress every day so it would become normal. It took some time but eventually it did become normal and the arousal feeling went away. What I was left with was just that calming feeling of knowing I am wearing pretty feminine undergarments.
I sleep in a nightgown every night and there was a time when I couldn’t control my sexual arousal, now I just enjoy the comfort of wearing a nightgown.
Wearing silky lingerie over time has become very normal and not arousing as it was when I first started wearing it. What has not gone away is feeling very feminine while wearing lingerie.
Now if I could only wear a dress every day and make that feel normal. Dressing and feeling feminine is always going to be much more pleasurable than dressing in drab male clothes and having to be masculine.
I’ve not worn male underwear for many years. I no longer own any.
When I was a teenager, I used to get aroused on the few occasions I had to dress up. Then later, when my wife and I started to experiment with her dressing me up, I used to get aroused, but that was the plan. It was a form of foreplay. Getting aroused hasn’t been a part of my crossdressing for many years.
For me, dressing has held an excitement. Partly it was “wrong”, but mainly it was how the clothes looked and felt. Going out was exciting. It got the adrenalin pumping. Having it feel normal feels like I’ve lost something.Cerys.
OMG, no, Cerys. It just feels fahking mahvelous dahling to just get dressed and hit the town. No planning, just things popping up that need doing.
And, no. The pleasure I still feel inside, after so many years, is still as potent as it ever has been. Yes it does get to feel normal, but my normal and your normal are different, but they are no less of one or the other.
Simply because you enjoy dressing and doing doesn’t mean you must pick one lifestyle over the other. Do what amount makes you feel happy and enjoy the differences in each experience.
PaulF
It’s a better turnout than the fear you had a few weeks back.
Whats the name of that crazy british cross dressing potter? You remind me of him.
Cerys,
I will not disagree with you. As feminine attire becomes a more and more commonplace in my day to day wardrobe, I am finding myself more and more comfortable, and my choices of clothing do have a greater sense of being normal. This is especially true with my bra and panties. I have solely worn panties for the past 5.5 years. I cannot remember the last time that I wore boxers, (though I still do have a a few pairs in case a time comes up that I cannot wear panties). I have also been wearing a bra daily for the 2 years now, both by choice and for comfort. I feel like something is missing, and I am incomplete, when I am required by circumstances, (usally family functions), to go braless.
MacKenzie Alexandra
I’ve been wearing panties full time for many years…. I don’t own any male underwaer at all. So whilst wearing panties is normal, I do have special pairs that I like to wear on certain occasions. I guess the same will be true for my outer clothing too. My apprentice drag queen pin in the public photos is such an outfit. Fare from everyday wear, but God, I feel great wearing it!
Cerys.
i think if you ever have to stop dressing for whatever reason, then you will realise how much you miss it.
sandra
I do stop. Usually when I’ve done something to upset my wife. I put all my stuff away and lock the door. I’m adamant that I’ll not dress again unless it’s a special occasion. The last time I did this, I lasted four days. Four days of huge depression. Four days of laying in/on the bed staring at the light bulb. I then relent and put something on. Then I spend hours crying for being a failure. Thankfully, my wife is a wonderful woman, and she talks sense into me.
Cerys
When the excitement finally goes down you will see the true reason(s) you dress… was it simply just for the excitement or is there something else there hidden underneath you haven’t realized? Time to do some soul searching.
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