- This topic has 66 replies, 28 voices, and was last updated 2 years ago by Beth Irish.
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- April 7, 2021 at 2:53 pm #474961Anonymous
Hello girls….
in England we are about to start the cricket season.
like cricket???
A nice eight hour day, sat in the sunshine ???, few beers, lovely lunch….very relaxing.
You can do this for a day, or four days or even a five day test match…
Just to explain the basic rules to anyone who doesn’t understand cricket…
here’s a quick summary of the ins and outs of our noble game
“You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that’s in the side that’s in goes out, and when he’s out he comes in and the next man goes in until he’s out. When they are all out, the side that’s out comes in and the side that’s been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out….😂😂😂😂😂😂
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. 😂😂😂😂When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game”….🤣🤣I was going to mention square leg, gully and leg slip….. but that would just confuse you !!!!
Come on Hampshire!!!!!
Love, grace ❤️❤️
- April 7, 2021 at 3:04 pm #474963Anonymous
Well I got confused with your title, and spent the evening on the patio listening out for the crickets on the lawn, sadly after putting on my glasses I discovered that’s not quite what you meant by cricket,”The beautiful game” so to speak.
Blind as a Hampshire batsman Amanda xx he he
- April 7, 2021 at 3:06 pm #474965
hello Grace,
I cannot help but remember the time Peter Sellers tried to explain cricket to Goldie Hawnn on TV’s Laugh In!!!!! 😂😂😂Love from the Twelfth Lady, Stephanie 💖🏏
- April 7, 2021 at 3:34 pm #474970
I don’t know if it could get more confusing. 😘
- April 7, 2021 at 4:03 pm #474972
Who’s on first Gracie?
LOL
Patty
- April 7, 2021 at 4:09 pm #474973Anonymous
Don’t forget Leg Before Wicket Grace,
It’s a bit like the offside rule in football i can’t seem to grasp that one either,
I’ll probably just snooze in my deckchair with a beer in my hand it’s like watching paint dry, I’d rather play it than watch x
Hugs Roz xxxxx
- April 8, 2021 at 7:51 pm #475373
Rozalyne…
LBW has caused more tut tutting than any other rule in any other sport you can mention… not to mention brawls in President’s grade and elsewhere!
Howzat! Not out! Why not? Polly
- April 7, 2021 at 4:27 pm #474978
So its like the hokey pokey only you dont turn about. Or do you? I’m confused. 😕
💋
Trisha
- April 7, 2021 at 11:58 pm #475081Anonymous
Trish.
If you don’t score enough runs, you could be put back in which would involve going back out. You are then following on ( ooeerrr), if you put your right foot in you could be leg before, unless you get a googly…then you could lose your middle stump…and your bails drop off….causing people to shout HOWZATT !!….cricket is quite dependant on your ability to get your balls shiny on one side….then you can swing!!!!!
I hope this helps 😂🤣😂🤣😂. xx
- April 7, 2021 at 4:27 pm #474979
Hi Grace,
Are there women cricket players?
Alice
- April 7, 2021 at 11:50 pm #475078Anonymous
Alice…
women’s cricket is thriving…nationally and internationally…most of the men’s test match playing countries have ladies teams….and they are fabulous players…..xx
- April 8, 2021 at 2:46 am #475111
Actually, Grace… 20/20 cricket is the business to watch in the women’s game! They are mighty slayers of the ball!
- April 7, 2021 at 6:02 pm #475005
I’m fairly well convinced that if you’re not British, there’s a law of human nature that prevents you from ever understanding cricket.
Bridgette
- April 7, 2021 at 11:47 pm #475077Anonymous
believe me Bridgette…. there’s lots of Brits just as confused….
“bowling a maiden over” …now that’s a discussion!!! xx
- April 7, 2021 at 8:17 pm #475036Anonymous
I think I did a better job explaining baseball to the French and German exchange students who stayed with my family. Lol!
- April 7, 2021 at 11:46 pm #475076
Like baseball, I know cricket has bats and balls. But does it have brawls?
Em
- April 8, 2021 at 2:38 am #475104
Grace, my heart…
I thought I should mention that New Zealand and India are playing for the test final in the UK your summer! NZ vs IND! Can you imagine! The Indians think to find a test venue that suits their spinners but… but, NZ has their share of good spinners as well so I think they are preparing for their own downfall! As well we have a formidable batting lineup… ohh, God… I’m so impatient for this match!
Howzat! Polly took the catch at deep mid wicket!
- April 8, 2021 at 1:09 pm #475283Anonymous
Hi Polly: while I appreciate that the rankings may not be in agreement when the Test Championship comes around, but you can’t really think that the Black Caps are going to beat India, surely? Yes – English wickets will help in that the Indians undoubted advantage in spin bowlers will be reduced, but do you really think that you can overcome Rohit Sharma, Rishabh Pant and (especially) Virat Kohli? Williamson will try his best (and that is just about as good as anyone else in the world can do) but overall I reckon the Indians will have the advantage. Tell what – I’ll bet you a pint of Speights finest- and if I win I get… well, not anything in the way of Indian beer…… Inga the Leg Spinner…
- April 8, 2021 at 8:17 pm #475385
Inga the slinga…
Ohh, yes… New Zealand will beat the Indians!!! What they can’t seem to remember is that we have beaten them on home soil for ever… and with crushing scores too!
Do not underestimate our batting lineup K Williamson is just a part of a lineup that is as equally good as him and our bowling attack is very strong in both seaming and spin. English wickets? The only thing that can defeat us is the weather!Anyway… Speights? Are you mad? That’s not beer! Bet something serious… like a dress or makeup?!
Perfectly serious Polly 💋💋💋🍺🍻🥂🍷🍹🍸🥃🏏
- April 8, 2021 at 2:55 am #475114
The one game I excelled at as a batsman! I can’t bowl for sugar but give me a bat and a big ego of a bowler and I can guarantee he would have been in tears after three overs!
Personally, I love the game and would be playing still had it not been for brawls in the President’s grade…
My brother had the chance for first class glory but lacked the diplomacy (read he didn’t lick the right… well you know) and had an unnatural arrogance coupled with a potty mouth… he lives in Australia now which suits him every well!
I even played in Sweden in their first class one day competition!In the days of radio, the cricket commentary along with the sound of lawnmowers meant a long, hot summer of joy!
Polly… sometime opening bat!
- April 8, 2021 at 5:41 am #475148
As someone who has been a Derbyshire supporter since being small I think praying for a summer of rain is exactly what is needed – saves the embarassment of watching defeat after defeat after defeat!
My own cricketing career was mostly spent behind the stumps wearing an oversized pair of gloves. Not sure whether I would still be able to spot a googly these days.
-A.
- April 8, 2021 at 12:50 pm #475278Anonymous
A D***yshire fan… I feel so sorry for you, but I suppose there has to be one… and that’s as many as could ever be warranted. I just can’t understand why anyone thinks that the start of the cricket season means rain – it usually means snow instead (like we’ve had on two of the last three days!) I’ll now make a declaration even more embarrassing than if I were to “come out” to my wife… I’ve been a Leicestershire season ticket holder for about 30 years. Oh, the SHAME… Embarrassed Inga.
- April 8, 2021 at 12:38 pm #475272Anonymous
Hi Grace now just for the history books Sarah’s alter ego played minor counties cricket, during mid to late 1970’s he was a fast bowler. You forgot to mention Googlies in your description of the game, vital for confusing everyone.
Sarah xx
- April 8, 2021 at 12:42 pm #475275
I thought Google was whet everyone went for answers these days, now they’re supposed to confuse? No wonder we’re all confused, lol!
Bridgette
- April 8, 2021 at 2:14 pm #475299Anonymous
Bridgette…not forgetting the doosra, googley ( ok Sarah🤭) carromball and the Yorker….all means of attack used by bowlers…any clearer?? 🤣🤣🤣🤣…xx
- April 8, 2021 at 8:08 pm #475381
Also…
The square cut, the pull shot, the hook shot, on drive, off drive, square drive, leg glance, late cut, the agricultural shot, drive off the back foot, the ramp shot (or the flip… not to confused with the ‘flipper’), the French cut and the ‘just kept the bugger out’ defensive stroke!
More? Polly says “yes” but you all say NO!
- April 9, 2021 at 12:48 am #475408Anonymous
Polly….” The slog to Cow Corner”….if that was not the name of a book…..it should have been!!!!
- April 9, 2021 at 9:49 am #475512
Clear as Guinness!
Bridgette
- April 9, 2021 at 12:18 pm #475584Anonymous
Grace I was a swinger I could swing it both ways and fast, I am talking about the ball before you all get excited. I was the ultimate number 11 batsmen useless, anyway girls I look good in any Slips.
xx
- April 9, 2021 at 12:24 pm #475589Anonymous
Oh Sarah….
such revelations?!??!!…either way?!!?!….oh my!!
- April 9, 2021 at 12:37 pm #475591Anonymous
So what about the slips have you ever been out in just a slip, excuse my thinking I am a fast girl remember.??
- April 8, 2021 at 8:03 pm #475380
Sizzling Sarah… just another beaner old chap! Sarah says “sorry… not!”
Well done you! So… who would come out on top, eh? I played opening bat for most of my ‘career’ with a 36.2 average… hehehe 🤪
Leg glancing was my forté… Polly
- April 8, 2021 at 1:47 pm #475292Anonymous
[postquote quote=475136]
Panties 😀- April 8, 2021 at 2:04 pm #475297Anonymous
Amanda…. there’s always one….off you go to the FNC…..here’s the key 🗝️……let yourself in…..
- April 8, 2021 at 1:48 pm #475293
Grace and all my sisters,
Brian Johnson a famous cricket commentator of by gone years made some wonderful remarks. This is perhaps the best:
“Neil Harvey’s at slip, with his legs wide apart, waiting for a tickle”
Well …
HR xx
- April 8, 2021 at 2:00 pm #475295Anonymous
Hilda…
Jonners, what a legend….
I have listened to test match special throughout my life….no one quite like him…bless xx
- April 8, 2021 at 7:57 pm #475378
Ohh… what about Henry ‘Blowers’ Blofeld? That man’s a legend… deciding to go down to the hotel bar in the middle of the night to sneak a few drinks… naked, I might add… but having locked himself out of his room! 😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤪
- April 9, 2021 at 12:43 am #475407Anonymous
Polly…
Test match special always unearthed such gems, eccentrically brilliant and such voices….not forgetting John Arlott…..bless them all for being part of our lives….xx
- April 8, 2021 at 6:33 pm #475358
Thanks Grace on behalf of all of us on the other side of the pond. Now I fully understand the game. I have seen it played, the local park actually has a pitch which is mostly used by the local college students for India. It makes about as much sense as American football or basketball rules make.
- April 8, 2021 at 7:53 pm #475374
Don’t forget silly mid off/on, Grace!
- April 9, 2021 at 12:39 am #475406Anonymous
We have that covered…..don’t we Polly???…
( love your latest pics!!! ) xx
- April 8, 2021 at 11:39 pm #475400
Thank you Grace, for explaining a sport that I have only watched one time in my life. The ins and outs are now as clear to me as they ever were. But being a non-fan of American Baseball either, I may just stick with International Darts and Scandinavian Curling.
My hope is that the fan base doesn’t let its enthusiasm and fervor get the better of them as it does in World Cup Footbal. Though I have heard rumors that the teams in Mombai and Dehli have a pretty intense rivalry.
PaulaF
- April 9, 2021 at 3:50 am #475427
Clear as mud, Your Grace, Thank you, lol
Hugs, Regi👩💕 - April 9, 2021 at 6:27 am #475463
My CDH friend Alice reminded me of the story from the classic Dr Who series Black Orchid. Peter Davison’s Doctor, Aadric, Tegan, and Nyssa land in the early 1920’s by a railway and a car pulls up assuming that the Doctor is cricket legend Dr W.G. Grace. The driver takes him to the oval, and the Doctor is asked to play for the local team. He is outstanding, of course!
Have a look for Black Orchid wherever you get your video from.
Love and hugs, Stephanie 🏏
- May 4, 2021 at 9:48 am #487773
Grace;
I think that this is one of the most honest statement about cricket ever:
A nice eight hour day, sat in the sunshine ???, few beers, lovely lunch….very relaxing.
I’ve always maintained that cricket only exists to give people an excuse to sit outside, enjoy the company of friends, drink and food with a ready made excuse to not have to do “honey do” work.
The game, scores, rules, players, and teams are largely irrelevant, but necessary for the fiction, after that’s taken care of.
– Molly (ducking to avoid all Googly, Tessra, Yorker, Doosra, Leg Break, (etc) bowls coming my way from true fans of the game)
- May 4, 2021 at 10:27 am #487792Anonymous
Hi Molly,
Very perceptive of you. In the 60’s, when I was at uni, UK, licensing laws were much stricter, and pubs and bars would have to close at 2.30 or so in the afternoon for a few hours. But I remember if the university cricket team was playing at ‘home’, entry was free and guess what, they usually had a beer tent which was legally allowed to serve alcohol. So we would pile out of the students union when it closed, and headed off to “watch” the cricket. I don’t think we were the only ones!
Marti xxx
- May 4, 2021 at 10:40 am #487803Anonymous
Molly.
You’ll get no googlys from grace….many a pleasant Sunday spent propping up the hallowed beer tent…..sometimes oblivious of the score…..it was a social gathering….
the only thing we craved, was someone to bat all day, keeping the tent open and the ale flowing….cheers.
- May 4, 2021 at 12:03 pm #487820
Hi (W.G.) Grace
The other classic Johnners bloomer was during the Test Match between England and the West Indies at the Oval,
The bowlers Holding the batsman’s Willey
Referring to Michael Holding and Peter Willey, Something he didn’t remember saying until it was pointed out to him.
Happy cricket
Samantha x
- May 4, 2021 at 12:28 pm #487834Anonymous
Samantha…love it!! 😂😂😂
- May 4, 2021 at 12:58 pm #487846Anonymous
Grace, this reminds me of Abbott and Costello’s routine of “Whose on First….What’s on Second”. If you never heard it look it up and listen to it. You will be as confused as I was reading your post about Cricket. LOL
Kathleen xxxxx 💋♥💋❤
- May 4, 2021 at 2:22 pm #487880Anonymous
Kath…..just watched it…..hilarious!!!!…
” Who’s on first”???😂😂😂.
Grace x
- May 4, 2021 at 4:06 pm #487945Anonymous
Grace,
Someplace I have a cassette tape of that entire skit. It’s packed away in one of my many boxes in my apartment. I always loved listing to it.
Kathleen xxxxx 💋♥💋❤💋
- May 4, 2021 at 2:53 pm #487905
Hi Grace, thanks so much for introducing me to the sport of cricket. I so wished that I could participate in the discussion but there were times while reading the whole thread I wasn’t sure if I was reading English. So of course I headed to Wikipedia to read about cricket in Canada. Wiki quote – “a minor sport in Canada”. There are only two cricket grounds in Canada approved to host one day internationals whereas there are about 2,000 indoor hockey arenas in Canada and countless outdoor rinks.
In one of your responses you mentioned “cow corner”. Now that’s something I can talk about. Rodeo!!!! And just to let you know, whenever I go to a rodeo, I always cheer for the livestock. I like watching the bulls, cows, horses and even the sheep beat the cowdudes, cowdudettes and cowkiddos. But I’ll spare everyone here by not expanding on the rules and customs of rodeo. YeeHaw.
Have a lovely rest of the week, All the Best, Hugs, Krista.
- May 4, 2021 at 3:18 pm #487922Anonymous
Krista….
Cow corner on a cricket field is a part of the ground the furthest from the wicket. It’s named after a college cricket ground where cows actually grazed in the deep!!!!…I believe it was Dulwich college….so a slog to Cow Corner is a big heave into the deep field….
It seems in Canada, you have a better chance of catching a hockey game than a cricket match….haha…..
stay safe, grace xx
- May 4, 2021 at 7:11 pm #488008
According to Rodney Dangerfield, you also have a chance of watching a hockey game if you go to a fight.
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out. – Rodney Dangerfield
(Years ago, fighting was so prevalent in hockey games that it wasn’t uncommon to go to a hockey game and have a fight break out. Rodney turned this on its head by saying he went to a fight and then they started playing hockey.)
- May 5, 2021 at 12:35 am #488067Anonymous
Alison….😂😂😂.
I remember a film called ” caddyshack” about golf…..Rodney Dangerfield was in that and he was hilarious x
- May 4, 2021 at 4:05 pm #487944
Hi Grace,
I’m an Essex girl myself originally (haven’t got the white stilettos yet) but I share your sentiments, a day at the cricket on the village green is to be at peace with the world.
Once this pandemic thingy is over, it would be nice to get back there. It’s not quite the same down here❤
Beth
- May 5, 2021 at 3:07 am #488092
Hi Grace,
Who would have thought cricket would get such a response. I remember my first foray into the game,
Bring your whites….panties, bra, stockings?
Go in the slips….half slip, full slip or slip into something more comfortable?
Two long legs…….thank you sir, I have worn my shortest skirt.
Two short legs…….not me , that is Ernie Wise and his are short, fat and hairy.
All the cricket stories remind me of the Jasper Carrot tale of playing cricket and his misunderstanding of where to put the cricket box, for those not up on the game it is the reinforced piece of equipment for protecting the more tender male parts. Unfortunately Jasper didn’t get the advice and walked onto the pitch with it covering his nose.
Tara x
- May 5, 2021 at 3:17 pm #488300
Yes, and who can forget Botham not quite getting his leg over😅 ………
- April 8, 2021 at 12:48 am #475086Anonymous
Steph….batting with the triangular side of the bat…very unpredictable…and hard to set a field to!!!
and I know just the area 2poos uses to place her ” twelfth man”……
“The
poopingpopping crease”!!…..💩 - April 8, 2021 at 2:20 am #475099Anonymous
Steph you reminded me of my one and only point of cricket glory, back in my primary school days a particularly unpleasant headmaster placed me, a known non-sportster close in to a ferocious batter who delivered a mighty drive straight into my right hand, it stung like a b#$@!*d but the look on that sods face was priceless.
Still laughing too many years later
Diana
- April 8, 2021 at 2:40 am #475107
Where I, Plumb… have a career best of 36.2 runs batting as an opener!
Play in the ‘V’… Polly 💋💋💋
- April 8, 2021 at 2:43 am #475109
Ohh… Diana…
I holed out at 98 (my best ever score) to a pimply-faced twerp from Christ’s College! May he rot at deep square leg forever!
Polly
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