- November 1, 2021 at 1:09 pm #567134MelanieElizabethParticipantRegistered On: January 9, 2021Topics: 16Replies: 189Has thanked: 522 timesBeen thanked: 1209 times
I was looking at my messages the other day and I discovered some conversations I had with members that are no longer here on our wonderful site. So it made me wonder how many of you have registered then quit just to come back later. This question goes hand in hand with purging, which most of us have done at least once in our lives. I was a member a couple years ago and got cold feet when messages popped up in my email. I wasn’t ready at the time to come to grips with myself and who I was. I erased my account and disappeared only to return again and I’m so glad I did. Have you ever done this and why?
- December 6, 2021 at 5:33 am #584910Wendy SwiftLadyRegistered On: May 11, 2020Topics: 10Replies: 706Has thanked: 726 timesBeen thanked: 3190 times
I’ve joined numerous forums during the years, and in most cases the forums became defunct before I quit.
As for CDing, before I found CDH, I used to belong to another CD forum. I didn’t bother deleting my account, just upped and left.
However, once I do bail on a forum, I never return. As for CDH, i don’t see myself packing up and leaving anytime soon.
- December 5, 2021 at 9:14 am #584657Katie PlowrightLadyRegistered On: October 15, 2021Topics: 4Replies: 143Has thanked: 629 timesBeen thanked: 778 times
I found CDH about 2 years ago but didn’t join right of the bat because I was still in closet. Then came out and enjoyed bliss for 9 months and then back in…….so not joining was good as I reckon I’d been leaving and joining weekly. Now having accepted myself and also by my SO, joining CDH was one of the first things I did. It’s brilliant also I told SO because she knew about the site when she was “researching”and said great. 💋💋
- December 5, 2021 at 7:24 am #584630HippieLadyRegistered On: December 20, 2016Topics: 36Replies: 330Has thanked: 1313 timesBeen thanked: 1497 times
Yes and but I was back in 6 months or so.
There only two people I can think of that are still on today. That was on since first tour with CDH.
Man how the years fly by. I think between this account and my old one. I must be near 10 years all combined.
I seen many come on go. Made lots of great friends and lost a few along the way on this wild CDing life of mine.
- November 4, 2021 at 8:23 pm #568725Jennie HeelsDuchessRegistered On: May 16, 2021Topics: 0Replies: 9Has thanked: 45 timesBeen thanked: 49 times
- November 4, 2021 at 9:41 am #568524ChloeCDuchessRegistered On: November 5, 2019Topics: 11Replies: 463Has thanked: 1581 timesBeen thanked: 2236 times
I enjoy this site and I plan on staying for some time. But for me anyway, it is a little sad to see people leave and for me especially those friended or those who we have shared thoughts. However, I do realize that each of us has their own life and issues with which to contend, and sometimes leaving is an option that has to be considered.
I’ve joined a number of ‘affinity’ groups both online and in person over the years, some I’ve left because my interests started moving in other directions, but the ones where I participated the most and longest, mostly I left because I was somewhat exhausted as I had, because of my involved participation, been asked to move into the ranks of being in whatever administration was prevalent and I tried giving it my all. And actually, when asked I was shocked that anyone would think of me in that way, maybe a little embarrassed, humbled, something like that Although, after several years, it was, well, the reason I joined and liked it so much had changed and wasn’t as personally satisfying as it had been.
So, I really do appreciated the moderators and admin here and understand the involved and most likely somewhat difficult tasks they take on every day. To keep a site like this running smoothly and efficiently takes a lot of work, I have no doubt. So…Thank you all!
- December 5, 2021 at 9:57 am #584678ChloeCDuchessRegistered On: November 5, 2019Topics: 11Replies: 463Has thanked: 1581 timesBeen thanked: 2236 times
(and yes, I’m still here, just not as active as we’re in the holidays, lots to do around here as we are entertaining, a week in another state visiting a daughter and grandkids and then them coming here -all limiting access time. If I do leave -heaven forbid, I’ll let you all know…just don’t hold your breath!)
- November 4, 2021 at 5:21 am #568441Stevie SteinerManaging AmbassadorRegistered On: June 11, 2020Topics: 72Replies: 1723Has thanked: 7597 timesBeen thanked: 8990 times
For decades I felt like I was lost at sea before landing on this island paradise that is CDH. Call it fate or luck, but this was the first site I came across ( luckily) and I feel blessed that I did not have to wade thru pools of ugliness to find it. This site is so therapeutic.
I have left orders with family that if anything happens to me to come onto the site and inform management to delete my account. Till then I don’t plan on going anywhere. You can never have enough joy in life, why would I walk away from it?
- November 3, 2021 at 3:22 pm #568271SylviaLadyRegistered On: October 10, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 569Has thanked: 13643 timesBeen thanked: 2495 times
Dear Melanie ,
I have only been here for a few weeks now ,
and I’m not going anywhere !
Checking out the CDH website every day has become essential for me , and
it has really made a change in my life.
I wouldn’t want to miss it for the World !
- November 3, 2021 at 8:41 am #567942AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Yes, I had to get out of Dodge for a bit. My wife got into my computer and I don’t know how but found my private files where I write erotic literature. Shit hit the fan and the fan was on high. I deleted my account immediately and all my files, a lot of work gone forever. Eventually when things calmed down I came back.
- November 3, 2021 at 8:35 am #567940Stephanie GreenLadyRegistered On: October 30, 2021Topics: 3Replies: 72Has thanked: 90 timesBeen thanked: 365 times
I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve quit and returned to CDH. Why do I do it? I think it comes down to feeling guilty about wanting to express my feminine side. Society says it is wrong. Family members and friends say it is wrong. (They don’t all tell me directly. I have only told one non-CD person about my crossdressing so far. I just know their attitudes from what I heard them say about CDs and TGs in general.) At times their is so much pressure on me I just have to try quitting again. I think I’m past all of that now and am going to be around here for a long time. I’m glad my friends here have been patient and welcomed me back each time I returned.
- November 3, 2021 at 8:02 am #567924Charlene VictoriaLadyRegistered On: November 29, 2016Topics: 27Replies: 244Has thanked: 1460 timesBeen thanked: 1467 times
Hi all. Thank you all for being such dear friends. It seems improper and inconsiderate to contribute, make friends and then abruptly leave. I understand that it happens and do understand the “why”.
But I have found that purging, either physically or electronically, eventually brings regrets and sadness. “Oh whyyyyyy! ever did I do that?” will come around to insist on an answer. And many times, “I don’t know. I wish I hadn’t,” is the only answer available to us.
I believe I have been at CDH since 2016. I have never deleted my account here. HOWEVER to my deep regret I did delete my account at TGH. I soooooo regret that now. (I am back there now, but lost so much when I deleted).
This experience taught me in bold exclamation to my inner self, “DON’T even think about it!”
CDH has become so valuable – read – YOU – have become so valuable in managing my dysphoria. Even early this morning as I replied to “Going Dark” I thought, “these dear woman are like having a whole office building of counselors / therapist at my disposal. They are so special. I don’t want to loose this one.”
I have been tempted to delete it all and walk away, but then I remember my TGH fiasco. So I stay. . . . gladly, wonderfully, appreciatively. Albeit I have gone “dark” at times. I needed that then and perhaps may need it again. Who knows?
But even then I lurk but don’t reply. And through that lurking in those darker moments I still find my sisters here helping me.
Thank you all.
- November 3, 2021 at 6:50 pm #568320Stephanie GreenLadyRegistered On: October 30, 2021Topics: 3Replies: 72Has thanked: 90 timesBeen thanked: 365 times
I get your point, Charlene. Looking back, I didn’t like leaving abrubtly, without telling anyone about it. However, when I decided to leave, I had to quit immediately. If I didn’t, I might not have actually done it. (Of course, in the end, it didn’t matter that I quit because I came back.) I did it differently the last time I left. I actually posted a goodbye message in the Forum. After I tied up some loose ends, I left. I thought I had the whole CD thing beat this time, but I was wrong. I’m tired of quitting. I’m tired of denying who and what I am. I’m back, and I have a feeling I’m going to be here for a long time.
- November 3, 2021 at 9:33 am #567971Dani GrandBaronessRegistered On: October 9, 2018Topics: 1Replies: 122Has thanked: 690 timesBeen thanked: 470 times
Well said Charlene.
It’s a bit like phasing in and out of a scene in a play, even perhaps gaining glimpse into another dimension, getting a bit scared – then toeing back into the other scene just to see if it is still there.
Dropping from here would be like me purging clothing and all things feminine again. It would bring regrets from several perspectives.
Like you, I get therapy from reading of others successes, challenges, and occasional setbacks. I learn from what others have tried with their SOs and look to adopt those approaches that are successful.
- November 3, 2021 at 5:05 am #567872
- November 3, 2021 at 1:47 am #567826ElizabethLadyRegistered On: October 7, 2021Topics: 32Replies: 400Has thanked: 2605 timesBeen thanked: 1849 times
Melanie, seen your original post. Not long joined. As soon as I joined I asked myself am I some sort of nutcase? Why would a heterosexual over 70 white male want to join something like this. Had an interesting conversation with a friend on Messenger, then phoned where I basically explained my situation. She said her father new someone who was an army officer and crossdressed of duty. Think we both have the same dress size, but her shoe size is smaller than mine. Used to crossdress in my wife’s flat before we got married, but she didn’t really approve so I’ve stopped. However the urge has come back which I joined this group. She said she’d be willing to go to a party with me. She said to do it when my wife was in bed, she goes to bed early as she’s on oxygen and carers come in. I asked her if she think any less of me as a man, she said she’d be there for me. She said she’d like to call myself Susan or Roberta. She would like to be called Kimberly. I said okay Kim and she okay Susie.
- November 2, 2021 at 5:27 pm #567758Regine KellyPrincessRegistered On: October 9, 2020Topics: 44Replies: 1470Has thanked: 20363 timesBeen thanked: 7013 times
When I found CDH I felt and knew, I had found my home.
I don’t always agree with some things, but wouldn’t life be boring if we all agreed, all the time?
Girls leave for many reasons, some their own emotions and acceptance or lack thereof in their own minds, or lives. Some over internal politics.
I have made many friends who I admired, and cared for that either quit with an announcement, or just disappeared, and I miss each and every one of them, I send each a message, that we/I will be here waiting if they choose to return, and I sincerely hope they do.
Until that time, I plan to help keep the light on,
- November 2, 2021 at 4:04 pm #567745Barb WireDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: September 16, 2021Topics: 14Replies: 636Has thanked: 3703 timesBeen thanked: 3367 times
- November 2, 2021 at 3:53 pm #567738RevelBaronessRegistered On: December 5, 2020Topics: 6Replies: 269Has thanked: 606 timesBeen thanked: 1056 times
No. I have never quit and don’t intend to providing all goes well, and so far, so good. Joining this site has been a pleasant experience, and the sisters have been kind to me. It feels like family. However, I have known a few sisters that sadly quit and disappeared. I hope someday they will return.
- November 2, 2021 at 3:48 pm #567732AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Once I joined CDH know would never leave. Once was sent to the naughty corner but was able to come back. but all the ladies here are so supportive and friendly be hard to ever thinking of leaving. Do know at times everyone may need a short break. All understandable. Just know the light is always on at CDH.
- November 2, 2021 at 4:57 pm #567754MelanieElizabethLadyRegistered On: January 9, 2021Topics: 16Replies: 189Has thanked: 522 timesBeen thanked: 1209 times
- November 2, 2021 at 5:37 pm #567760AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Great Post Melanie as always Why CDH is the best no matter try to leave can’t due to all the lovely ladies here that so supportive and friendly
- November 2, 2021 at 4:18 pm #567749Barb WireDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: September 16, 2021Topics: 14Replies: 636Has thanked: 3703 timesBeen thanked: 3367 times
You in the “naughty corner”!? I just can’t see it… Nope…
Donna, your wonderful journey and positive energy is intoxicating! If I’m ever in the dumps, all I need to do is look for you on our Forum and I’m guaranteed that much needed smile!
- November 2, 2021 at 4:48 pm #567751
- November 2, 2021 at 3:31 pm #567721AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
I had a massive meltdown….gradually spiralling out of control…and quit the site. I just could not understand what was wrong with me…and it just got so dark!!!…like looking down a railway tunnel at the speck of light at the end….but I just could never reach it.
Eventually I sought help…and with my family doctor, I have worked myself back up the hill, out of the pit of depression ….I know I’m a motormouth, but you girls give me the chance to be the real me …
okay, I still have my moments, but knowing what I’m dealing with is really half of the battle….
This site gives me the chance to try to help…. because you all really don’t know how much you have helped me…. 💓💓💓..every single piece of advice I give is through a long crossdressing experience….or watching too much comedy…..and every thanks I get means it’s been worth the effort…..which makes me smile and makes grace a happier person…..so you see, this really is heaven to me……
- November 2, 2021 at 5:16 pm #567756LadyRegistered On: January 9, 2021Topics: 16Replies: 189Has thanked: 522 timesBeen thanked: 1209 times
I remember the day you quit Grace. I was new here and was pretty freaked out by it. At the end of the day cooler heads prevailed and you came right back. I’m glad for that by the way grace. You make this a better place simply with your presence. Btw this little bird hasn’t found her wings but hopefully I will soon with encouragement from you and others like you. Thanks for being part of this great community!
- November 3, 2021 at 12:46 am #567823AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Melanie…thank you, the support is and has always been here… .that’s what makes it so special x
- November 2, 2021 at 3:49 pm #567734AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Hi sweetie, if I could hug your doctor I would.
But there is an underlying message here, help is always available and it shows you have courage and a brave person to asks for it, and it’s no shame to receive it either. We all at some times hit a wall in life, but a problem shared is often a problem solved.
Lol Amanda xx
- November 2, 2021 at 3:23 pm #567720AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
I did try other sites before I found this one, as Krista has said in her reply, wow they were not what i was looking for. I started out on the open chat, but some nights depending on who logged on you were the gooseberry in a group of established friends. Other nights it was a struggle to type fast enough to keep up withe the conversations. Then I joined the forums and have been here ever since and it’s really enjoyable and very social community with some fabulous girls from all around the world.
Lol Amanda xx
- November 2, 2021 at 3:02 pm #567717KristaDuchessRegistered On: January 24, 2017Topics: 10Replies: 725Has thanked: 3338 timesBeen thanked: 3639 times
I first joined CDH back in September 2015 (if I recall correctly). I was intrigued by the website but felt I needed to explore some other sites before sticking with one. So I kind of left for about a month or so. I did go onto other sites. OMG, there were some really bad ones. On one site, I posted my photo (in hindsight a big mistake) and I was just hit on by trolls. One troll hassled me so much wanting me to visit him in Las Vegas at his expense. I told him I was married and not interested and he still persisted. So I quit that site and came back to CDH. I loved the way the Ambassadors here got rid of trolls. So I became an Ambassador here for a couple of years. And we got rid of a lot of people (thousands) who were here for the wrong reasons. For example, you wouldn’t believe some of the photos some of those people tried to post. It seemed like my eyes were on fire at times from some of the photos I reviewed. I’m very appreciative of the work the Ambassadors do and by the very supportive members who I meet here. Hugs Krista.
- November 2, 2021 at 10:37 am #567610Liara WolfeDuchessRegistered On: August 14, 2021Topics: 3Replies: 969Has thanked: 1858 timesBeen thanked: 3780 times
- November 2, 2021 at 10:34 am #567606Caroline OBrienLadyRegistered On: April 18, 2020Topics: 5Replies: 135Has thanked: 581 timesBeen thanked: 690 times
November 2019 I was down about crossdressing and made an attempt to quit. This included cancellation of my CDH account. The quitting attempt was half hearted and I was back at it by February 2020.
I enjoy reading the forums on CDH and check them out pretty much daily.
- November 2, 2021 at 9:35 am #567558Carolyn KayBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: August 25, 2016Topics: 20Replies: 313Has thanked: 1460 timesBeen thanked: 1637 times
Once I joined CDH I knew that I had found a place where I could talk and share with others. I try to check the site almost everyday. The friends I have made here are absolutely wonderful. I have had a few friends who suddenly just disappear, I always wonder why.
- November 2, 2021 at 6:35 am #567485Nancy GammsDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: March 1, 2017Topics: 14Replies: 242Has thanked: 56 timesBeen thanked: 696 times
- November 1, 2021 at 10:03 pm #567346Alison AndersonDuchessRegistered On: October 15, 2018Topics: 11Replies: 698Has thanked: 555 timesBeen thanked: 3041 times
No. Like you said, it’s like purging. You can control what emails you do or do not receive from the site. So you can just leave the account dormant if you don’t want to use it. The only reason to delete it is when you think you’re through, you’ll never want to come here again. Otherwise, just leave the account alone and don’t log in if you lose interest for a while.
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