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I was looking at my messages the other day and I discovered some conversations I had with members that are no longer here on our wonderful site. So it made me wonder how many of you have registered then quit just to come back later. This question goes hand in hand with purging, which most of us have done at least once in our lives. I was a member a couple years ago and got cold feet when messages popped up in my email. I wasn’t ready at the time to come to grips with myself and who I was. I erased my account and disappeared only to return again and I’m so glad I did. Have you ever done this and why?
No. Like you said, it’s like purging. You can control what emails you do or do not receive from the site. So you can just leave the account dormant if you don’t want to use it. The only reason to delete it is when you think you’re through, you’ll never want to come here again. Otherwise, just leave the account alone and don’t log in if you lose interest for a while.
November 2019 I was down about crossdressing and made an attempt to quit. This included cancellation of my CDH account. The quitting attempt was half hearted and I was back at it by February 2020.
I enjoy reading the forums on CDH and check them out pretty much daily.
Caroline
Hi MelanieElizabeth,
I first joined CDH back in September 2015 (if I recall correctly). I was intrigued by the website but felt I needed to explore some other sites before sticking with one. So I kind of left for about a month or so. I did go onto other sites. OMG, there were some really bad ones. On one site, I posted my photo (in hindsight a big mistake) and I was just hit on by trolls. One troll hassled me so much wanting me to visit him in Las Vegas at his expense. I told him I was married and not interested and he still persisted. So I quit that site and came back to CDH. I loved the way the Ambassadors here got rid of trolls. So I became an Ambassador here for a couple of years. And we got rid of a lot of people (thousands) who were here for the wrong reasons. For example, you wouldn’t believe some of the photos some of those people tried to post. It seemed like my eyes were on fire at times from some of the photos I reviewed. I’m very appreciative of the work the Ambassadors do and by the very supportive members who I meet here. Hugs Krista.
Hi MelanieElizabeth,
I did try other sites before I found this one, as Krista has said in her reply, wow they were not what i was looking for. I started out on the open chat, but some nights depending on who logged on you were the gooseberry in a group of established friends. Other nights it was a struggle to type fast enough to keep up withe the conversations. Then I joined the forums and have been here ever since and it’s really enjoyable and very social community with some fabulous girls from all around the world.
Lol Amanda xx
Amanda….
“with some fabulous girls from all around the world”
and you are one of them my sweet…xx
You too sweetie, and I think I have the backing of most of the girls on here who simply adore you. I’ve just said to a reply earlier I could hug your doctor, I amend that and simply hug you both.
Lol Amanda xx
Hi Melanie.
I had a massive meltdown….gradually spiralling out of control…and quit the site. I just could not understand what was wrong with me…and it just got so dark!!!…like looking down a railway tunnel at the speck of light at the end….but I just could never reach it.
Eventually I sought help…and with my family doctor, I have worked myself back up the hill, out of the pit of depression ….I know I’m a motormouth, but you girls give me the chance to be the real me …
okay, I still have my moments, but knowing what I’m dealing with is really half of the battle….
This site gives me the chance to try to help…. because you all really don’t know how much you have helped me…. 💓💓💓..every single piece of advice I give is through a long crossdressing experience….or watching too much comedy…..and every thanks I get means it’s been worth the effort…..which makes me smile and makes grace a happier person…..so you see, this really is heaven to me……
Grace x
Hi sweetie, if I could hug your doctor I would.
But there is an underlying message here, help is always available and it shows you have courage and a brave person to asks for it, and it’s no shame to receive it either. We all at some times hit a wall in life, but a problem shared is often a problem solved.
Lol Amanda xx
I remember the day you quit Grace. I was new here and was pretty freaked out by it. At the end of the day cooler heads prevailed and you came right back. I’m glad for that by the way grace. You make this a better place simply with your presence. Btw this little bird hasn’t found her wings but hopefully I will soon with encouragement from you and others like you. Thanks for being part of this great community!
Melanie…thank you, the support is and has always been here… .that’s what makes it so special x
Once I joined CDH know would never leave. Once was sent to the naughty corner but was able to come back. but all the ladies here are so supportive and friendly be hard to ever thinking of leaving. Do know at times everyone may need a short break. All understandable. Just know the light is always on at CDH.
Donna
NO WAY!
You in the “naughty corner”!? I just can’t see it… Nope…
Donna, your wonderful journey and positive energy is intoxicating! If I’m ever in the dumps, all I need to do is look for you on our Forum and I’m guaranteed that much needed smile!
💓 Barb
LOL lived and learned. Thank you Barb.
Hugs Donna
I agree Donna! I love it here, so many great people and thankfully so few trolls. Ty for your comments I always love hearing from you!
Great Post Melanie as always Why CDH is the best no matter try to leave can’t due to all the lovely ladies here that so supportive and friendly
Hugs
Donna
No. I have never quit and don’t intend to providing all goes well, and so far, so good. Joining this site has been a pleasant experience, and the sisters have been kind to me. It feels like family. However, I have known a few sisters that sadly quit and disappeared. I hope someday they will return.
Rev
When I found CDH I felt and knew, I had found my home.
I don’t always agree with some things, but wouldn’t life be boring if we all agreed, all the time?
Girls leave for many reasons, some their own emotions and acceptance or lack thereof in their own minds, or lives. Some over internal politics.
I have made many friends who I admired, and cared for that either quit with an announcement, or just disappeared, and I miss each and every one of them, I send each a message, that we/I will be here waiting if they choose to return, and I sincerely hope they do.
Until that time, I plan to help keep the light on,
Hugs, Regi👸💖Melanie, seen your original post. Not long joined. As soon as I joined I asked myself am I some sort of nutcase? Why would a heterosexual over 70 white male want to join something like this. Had an interesting conversation with a friend on Messenger, then phoned where I basically explained my situation. She said her father new someone who was an army officer and crossdressed of duty. Think we both have the same dress size, but her shoe size is smaller than mine. Used to crossdress in my wife’s flat before we got married, but she didn’t really approve so I’ve stopped. However the urge has come back which I joined this group. She said she’d be willing to go to a party with me. She said to do it when my wife was in bed, she goes to bed early as she’s on oxygen and carers come in. I asked her if she think any less of me as a man, she said she’d be there for me. She said she’d like to call myself Susan or Roberta. She would like to be called Kimberly. I said okay Kim and she okay Susie.
Hugs
ElizabethHi all. Thank you all for being such dear friends. It seems improper and inconsiderate to contribute, make friends and then abruptly leave. I understand that it happens and do understand the “why”.
But I have found that purging, either physically or electronically, eventually brings regrets and sadness. “Oh whyyyyyy! ever did I do that?” will come around to insist on an answer. And many times, “I don’t know. I wish I hadn’t,” is the only answer available to us.
I believe I have been at CDH since 2016. I have never deleted my account here. HOWEVER to my deep regret I did delete my account at TGH. I soooooo regret that now. (I am back there now, but lost so much when I deleted).
This experience taught me in bold exclamation to my inner self, “DON’T even think about it!”
CDH has become so valuable – read – YOU – have become so valuable in managing my dysphoria. Even early this morning as I replied to “Going Dark” I thought, “these dear woman are like having a whole office building of counselors / therapist at my disposal. They are so special. I don’t want to loose this one.”
I have been tempted to delete it all and walk away, but then I remember my TGH fiasco. So I stay. . . . gladly, wonderfully, appreciatively. Albeit I have gone “dark” at times. I needed that then and perhaps may need it again. Who knows?
But even then I lurk but don’t reply. And through that lurking in those darker moments I still find my sisters here helping me.
Thank you all.
Blessings
Charlene
Well said Charlene.
It’s a bit like phasing in and out of a scene in a play, even perhaps gaining glimpse into another dimension, getting a bit scared – then toeing back into the other scene just to see if it is still there.
Dropping from here would be like me purging clothing and all things feminine again. It would bring regrets from several perspectives.Like you, I get therapy from reading of others successes, challenges, and occasional setbacks. I learn from what others have tried with their SOs and look to adopt those approaches that are successful.
I get your point, Charlene. Looking back, I didn’t like leaving abrubtly, without telling anyone about it. However, when I decided to leave, I had to quit immediately. If I didn’t, I might not have actually done it. (Of course, in the end, it didn’t matter that I quit because I came back.) I did it differently the last time I left. I actually posted a goodbye message in the Forum. After I tied up some loose ends, I left. I thought I had the whole CD thing beat this time, but I was wrong. I’m tired of quitting. I’m tired of denying who and what I am. I’m back, and I have a feeling I’m going to be here for a long time.
I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve quit and returned to CDH. Why do I do it? I think it comes down to feeling guilty about wanting to express my feminine side. Society says it is wrong. Family members and friends say it is wrong. (They don’t all tell me directly. I have only told one non-CD person about my crossdressing so far. I just know their attitudes from what I heard them say about CDs and TGs in general.) At times their is so much pressure on me I just have to try quitting again. I think I’m past all of that now and am going to be around here for a long time. I’m glad my friends here have been patient and welcomed me back each time I returned.
Yes, I had to get out of Dodge for a bit. My wife got into my computer and I don’t know how but found my private files where I write erotic literature. Shit hit the fan and the fan was on high. I deleted my account immediately and all my files, a lot of work gone forever. Eventually when things calmed down I came back.
For decades I felt like I was lost at sea before landing on this island paradise that is CDH. Call it fate or luck, but this was the first site I came across ( luckily) and I feel blessed that I did not have to wade thru pools of ugliness to find it. This site is so therapeutic.
I have left orders with family that if anything happens to me to come onto the site and inform management to delete my account. Till then I don’t plan on going anywhere. You can never have enough joy in life, why would I walk away from it?
Stevie
I enjoy this site and I plan on staying for some time. But for me anyway, it is a little sad to see people leave and for me especially those friended or those who we have shared thoughts. However, I do realize that each of us has their own life and issues with which to contend, and sometimes leaving is an option that has to be considered.
I’ve joined a number of ‘affinity’ groups both online and in person over the years, some I’ve left because my interests started moving in other directions, but the ones where I participated the most and longest, mostly I left because I was somewhat exhausted as I had, because of my involved participation, been asked to move into the ranks of being in whatever administration was prevalent and I tried giving it my all. And actually, when asked I was shocked that anyone would think of me in that way, maybe a little embarrassed, humbled, something like that Although, after several years, it was, well, the reason I joined and liked it so much had changed and wasn’t as personally satisfying as it had been.
So, I really do appreciated the moderators and admin here and understand the involved and most likely somewhat difficult tasks they take on every day. To keep a site like this running smoothly and efficiently takes a lot of work, I have no doubt. So…Thank you all!
(and yes, I’m still here, just not as active as we’re in the holidays, lots to do around here as we are entertaining, a week in another state visiting a daughter and grandkids and then them coming here -all limiting access time. If I do leave -heaven forbid, I’ll let you all know…just don’t hold your breath!)
Yes and but I was back in 6 months or so.
There only two people I can think of that are still on today. That was on since first tour with CDH.
Man how the years fly by. I think between this account and my old one. I must be near 10 years all combined.
I seen many come on go. Made lots of great friends and lost a few along the way on this wild CDing life of mine.
Hippie
I found CDH about 2 years ago but didn’t join right of the bat because I was still in closet. Then came out and enjoyed bliss for 9 months and then back in…….so not joining was good as I reckon I’d been leaving and joining weekly. Now having accepted myself and also by my SO, joining CDH was one of the first things I did. It’s brilliant also I told SO because she knew about the site when she was “researching”and said great. 💋💋
I’ve joined numerous forums during the years, and in most cases the forums became defunct before I quit.
As for CDing, before I found CDH, I used to belong to another CD forum. I didn’t bother deleting my account, just upped and left.
However, once I do bail on a forum, I never return. As for CDH, i don’t see myself packing up and leaving anytime soon.
Ashlee you make a great point, at times I’ve felt as if I didn’t belong. I recently ended a long stretch without dressing and all the while I felt odd about being here on cdh. As if I needed to dress more often or post more pics to earn my “street cred” as a cross dresser but during this pause I remembered why I joined here to begin with. I came here to learn about myself, I came to ask questions and sometimes to live vicariously through the experiences of others, and as I’ve learned more, I’ve enjoyed helping others. To put it simply, cdh is my outlet when I can’t be Melanie!
I did quit a while back but then rejoined. Being a lingerie only CD – never wanting to dress fully as a woman and going out in public, left me with a sense that I was a little out of place here. I believe I’m supportive of everyone here and I personally know a transgender person. (I’m small town so there’s just not many in the place where I live.) I’ve been married now for 20+ years and just recently my wife has accepted (to some degree) that I prefer women’s panties over men’s “underwear” for which I am grateful. Anyway, I’m back and here to stay.
When I started dressing more seriously, I found this site, but I purged almost immediately and deactivated my account. When I wanted to start dressing again I came back. For me, this website goes hand in hand with dressing and purging.
Several ladies here have expressed the feeling that they didn’t feel like they belong. I feel like that all the time, here and just about everywhere. I don’t ever feel like I truly “belong” anywhere. I don’t say this to complain, but to remind us that we can still have good friendships and enjoy things, even if some mythical emotional state never develops. I generally feel like my thoughts and attitude about dressing aren’t quite like everyone else’s, but I still enjoy coming here and seeing outfit ideas and chatting from time to time. I like to share my pictures and try to look as good as some of you. So, even if I don’t quite belong, thank you all for being here, and being accepting.
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