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Hi Gals! Hope you are all well! Just needed some friends to vent some frustration.
This morning i “purged”, but in a good way! Made a big pile of old guy clothes to donate. Lots of stuff I did not wear anymore.
As usual I’m wearing my relaxing gurl jeans and a top I bought while with my SO some weeks ago. It is a pull over top, nice knit, with a cowl neck. Older style but still looks good, least I thought so (and still do).
Wife noticed it and said “what are you wearing?”, and proceeded to just make fun of it. Saying it’s way out of style, she doesn’t even know if they are made anymore and just going on about it. I reminded her she was with me when I bought it, even showed it to her and then she didn’t say anything about it. Just felt really belittling. I truly felt bad about it. The whole time then was just brow beating about all the clothes (in general) I have, don’t need to buy anything more, on and on. Damn, I was getting rid of stuff!!! Didn’t matter though.
Anyway, just had to vent. Feeling better now in my knit, cowl neck top and feeling better.
Thanks for listening
Becka
You’re absolutely right I wish that they would use their on advice from time to time and maybe drop the pants for a sexy dress and heels occasionally. I shouldn’t bitch she is very classy and dresses impeccably but our tastes are a little different.
I’ll never understand though why women believe that that type of attire is not appropriate and they could wear it every day whereas us unfortunate men like us are not allowed.
Just another rant to go along with yours!Hugs, Sandy
Hey it’s Sandy. I completely understand your frustration as I have a SO but in my case that is a wife and can be worse. She, after awhile became somewhat tolerant but still needs n-supportive. I on the other hand have been as stubborn as she and I in our contests have over time became the eventual leader in our skirmishes. I took a step at a time, panties under my male clothes, then bra, pantyhose, tops, dresses, skirts etc.
This took awhile. Later i began to shave my legs to look better in a swimsuit then began to paint my toenails which she abhorred but I stuck with it and I guess she got tired and semi forgot about it
Anyway our somewhat perilous journey continues although all, at this particular point in time seems calm and at peace.
Although all is well at this moment I will continue to press my limits with her periodically a little at a time.She’s out of town today so I am pleased to report that I am writing this comfortably in my stockings and garters, matching bra and panties with a nice print dress
Oh how peaceful and relaxing!
Good luck with your situation and keep up to date on your progress.
Hugs, Sandy
Right I agree with Peta and I understand what you are saying my wife has been mad when I dress as April in similar fashion to her kind of a sexy modern biker chick with sexy jeans and with sexy form fitting Affliction type tees or tops and similar jewelry silver looking and simple rings. Then if a dress with a style she doesn’t wear with animal type form fitting tops she says she would never dress that way. Sometimes you can’t win for trying, damned if you do damned you if you don’t. Just have to be a duck or a turtle and let some comments roll off your back when in reality your wife is most likely trying the best she personally can but it all is just very complicated and difficult for her as she is probably thrilled to have her man dressed as a woman. You have to do the best you can to love and support her and be supportive of things in her life. Treat her the way you want to be treated. Just my thoughts. I wish you the best.
Hi Becka maybe your wife was letting you know that you have a bigger wardrobe than her, and she thinks you shouldn’t buy anymore clothes for awhile, looking at what I’ve got stashed in the loft of our house i think I’ve got more clothes than my wife, I think I’ve got enough to fill two wardrobes,
Hugs Rozalyn X 🎀
Same here for sure especially after the wife just went through hers last week and got rid of a third.
Here’s my thoughts. There is a great article written by Lisa Wilson call3d acceptance here on CDH. I would check it out. In a nutshell it takes us a long time to figure ourselves out and accept who we are. Your wife’s reaction could be from many feelings. You would know of she can be mean but my assumption is she’s generally not … as you are with her.
So our wives are dealing with a lot…for some it could be self esteem as they don’t want you to look better than them. Another aspect could be there afraid that if you look good you’ll progress further and of course they don’t wanna lose their husband. Another aspect is having other people find out which scares them. My point being there’s a lot of emotions that are going on with them and in my earlier point while we have had decades many cases to sort of deal with us and understand it, Many of them have had much last time.
My thought around this Is that when you find the right time to talk maybe something to the effect of hey I wanted to talk about something and while I know you probably didn’t intend it when you said this it made me feel like this. It’s a less aggressive approach and bringing something like that up. But you know your wife passed and have to figure out what the best way is to address it.
either way for now my thought is you take the approach of assume innocence and there’s something else behind it for her saying that. I know that doesn’t take away the hurt but navigating through something like this will likely cause hurt on both sides. The key I think is open communication and listening and respecting their view. I Believe that approach many times will lead to your wife being open and doing the same… Be open, listen and respect your view. Just my two cents. I don’t wanna sound preachy. We all have to figure it out at some point and what I love about CDH is the fact that you can get a bunch of views and opinions and ideasFor which then you can cobble together your approach and us as no one circumstance is exactly the same. Sending positive thoughts and love your way!
Take a positive view, did she ever moan at you when you slubbed around in your favorite T shirt and jeans in male mode or the amount of male clothes you had without any comment?
I can imagine if she had a friend who wore such a thing as you are wearing wouldn’t say anything to her face but I bet she would have had a good bitch about it with her friends. I would say that she would have had a go about a friend who had too many clothes too, a mixture of criticism and envy. Welcome to the world of women, it’s the way it works. Maybe to a good friend they will be more honest and give a harsher opinion.
Women are generally kind to each other face to face but behind each others backs, Meeowww.
Of course your wife may be supportive but what you are doing might be exceeding her expectations so is a way of telling you to slow down, in that you may need to have a chat to ensure she is still okay and keep her onside.
When I was starting out I wore what I felt looked good and I was comfortable with but was soon bought down to earth by family and friends if it really wasn’t right so I looked harder at what I was wearing and developed a style of my own. I often get the comment, ‘Haven’t you got enough clothes’, yes maybe I have, but being denied having a good wardrobe for years I am catching up for lost time.
And, by the way, I am wearing a cowl neck top as I type but don’t tell your wife…….
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