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    • #702010

      I’ve just been reading a very lovely article by Rochelle Winters (I’m sure you can find it quite easily) and found myself suddenly focusing on the phrase “The harmless act of dressing up.”  I’ve often used such words before and indeed have often described myself as “not transgender – just having fun dressing up.”  What suddenly strikes me is that, surely, I’m NOT “dressing up” – that phrase may apply if I were putting on a Santa costume or appearing as a fireman at a fancy dress party.  Surely, I am not “dressing up” but I’m actually expressing a part – an increasingly important part – of my own personality and I shouldn’t demean the experience by saying I’m just “dressing up”.  I’m never going to say “dressing up” ever again and want to find a new, more serious description – any ideas?  Also, are there any other phrases that you ladies think we have been using but perhaps now need to be permanently retired?  Sorry to be so long winded – and I hope you can understand where I’m coming from.  Holly XXX

    • #702011
      Kathleen
      Duchess

      Nowdays I prefer to think and say I’m being Kathleen.She is totally a major part of who I am.

    • #702016

      I was going to say the same thing, I am Julia! I don’t need another label to put on it. XO

    • #702021

      Well done coming to that realisation Holly.
      This journey had led to a few of my own epiphanies. It’s such a thought provoking thing we do. I feel I have grown immensely as a person by letting this, best, part of me out to enjoy and share with the world.

      A phrase I would like to see permanently retired – crossdressing.
      I hope that someday we can all just wear what we want to wear without it being judged as some kind of deviant behaviour, and the misconceptions that we all must be gay or want to be a woman.

      B x

      • #702025

        Bianca; I totally understand where you are coming from… and I wonder if you might not be right…  “Crossdressing” and therefore “Crossdresser” need to be considered very carefully…   What other adjectives would be more appropriate – and what would we call our website?  Thinking hard… Holly XXX

        • #702036

          Dreaming of a world where we do not have to be identified as anything ‘different’. For it to be so normal to wear whatever we want that we do not need an adjective to describe us. Just to be able to walk down the street on a warm Summers day in a dress, with no fear of judgement or shame or nerves that we are doing something society views as wrong.

          B x

          • #702040
            Anonymous
            Lady

            Hi Bianca.

            Yes that would be a utopian world, one without judgement, but sadly I can’t see that ever happening. Dreams for sure.

          • #702058

            Ladies; we must dream; to fail to do so is to accept the unacceptable.  Michelle is probably right about it never happening… but don’t we all wish it could?  Lots of love:  Holly XXX

          • #702105
            Kathleen
            Duchess

            Never is a very large word.10 years ago sites like this didn’t exist.Places like Michell’s Mid Day Break and Geocitiy’s West Hollywood were cutting edge. Ten years from now??? Hmmmm

          • #702043
            Kathleen
            Duchess

            I wish I could thank this comment a hundred times.

          • #702057

            And I wish I could thank Bianca a THOUSAND times; she is so, so right!  I’m now going to have a long, hard thought abouit what other adjectives should be used.  Holly XXX

    • #702031

      Just from my point of view, I think it’s not so much the words themselves but the negative connotation put on them by some in our society. Although we are improving, it’s still going to be some time before the majority of society can drop these ignorant, even medieval, images that just inspire fear  and loathing.

    • #702071
      Angela Booth
      Hostess

      ‘The harmless act of dressing up’ – if this reference is to crossdressing then I can take that. In todays world of transgender activism against womens rights ,where we are being demonised by association, the word ‘harmless’ is quite want I want people to hear and understand. It could be a reassuring tone for those who may read it. Of course it is more than that to us and I understand the offence it can cause but I haven’t been able to find the article so can only comment on the term used.

      Crossdressing is a nice way for the uninitiated to understand in simple terms and would changing it make any difference? To me there are many new terms which only confuses the general public who, in my experience, are quite happy to accept simple terms and importantly accept me as I wish to be.

      Things have come a long way since I was a child, I would never have walked out dressed back then, now it’s a breeze and acceptance far outweighs non acceptance. Do not give up hope and make your voice known.

    • #702077

      The generic term I’ve used with my wife through our long marriage is ‘ I’d think I like to ‘get dressed today?’ Ok? [ drop the word “up !”

    • #702086

      Holly
      I just refer to myself as getting dolled up… Love it
      Sarah xx

    • #702219

      For me personally, it doesn’t matter what anyone calls anything that we do.  We should just live our lives as we please and not spend any time concerning any descriptions or labels that attach to us.  I am concerned for today’s society that people are so concerned with what words are given to describe themselves.  I personally can accept anything that I am called, and there are some things that do disturb me, but in order to have a more enjoyable, peaceful life, I won’t concern myself with words.

       

      I do understand anyones concern with how they are described, but my hope is, especially in this time of year, that we concern ourselves less with what people write or say to describe us, and just enjoy living our lives as we want.

      Please just enjoy the wonderful lives we all have, and be happy.

    • #702229
      J J
      Lady

      Labels are convenient, but should not be taken too seriously. There are just a quick way to reference something, and nothing more. That said, labels are taken too seriously by some, and can be used in hurtful and damaging ways.

      I simply use the term “getting dressed”. My favorite term is “en femme” as it best describes what I do, which is to dress as a woman. For those who female they are truly a woman, it probably doesn’t work as well. I am not a fan of the terms “crossdresser, or crossdressed”. Although I do not find them offensive, some people do use them in a derogatory way.

      As for “dressed up’, I do not use it when I am dressing en femme, because as Holly mentions in the first post, it has a costuming aspect to it. I do use it i. a special why for events. I get dressed up to go to the symphony or a play, or other such event. and mean I am putting on something special for the event, be it a fancy dress and stockings, or a suit and tie, things I don’t wear on a daily basis. I do like to get dressed up on occasion, but for my more day to day activities I just enjoy dressing en femme, what ever that may entail.

    • #702236
      Brianna Bay
      Duchess

      Me and my wife just say, Brianna’s coming over, she has a name Christel for Brianna’s best freind.
      Good luck
      Xx
      Brianna

    • #702258

      Hi Holly. You hit a really interesting topic here. It is not dressing up at all, it is just getting dressed like every other day. We don’t think twice about putting our jeans and t-shirt in guy mode – the same should be true for putting on our leggings and heels! Different day, different clothes.

      Great topic!

      XO Tara

      • #702272

        Hiya, Tara;  “It is not dressing up at all, it is just getting dressed like every other day.”  I don’t think I’ve ever seen an answer given so succinctly and so accurately before!  Holly XXX

    • #702300

      Hi Holly as wife says just be yourself .. Or sometimes its go find Stephanie i need a girl to talk to he he ..

      Stephanie Bass

    • #702339

      Hi Girls,

      As a transitioned trans woman, who has known that since childhood, I tell people “I’m getting dressed.” They’re my clothes, they are what I am supposed to wear. When it comes to “crossdressing”, that’s what I’ve been doing all my life – dressing in male clothing…

      Hugs,

      Ms. Lauren M

      • #702749

        Hi there, Lauren;  you raise an interesting point.  For a fully transitioned lady (or, indeed, a GG) what could “dressing up” mean anyway?  Wearing male clothing?  I’m not going to use the phrase myself – but I can see that there are going to be other ladies out there for whom it may actually be appropriate!  Holly XXX

    • #702375
      Cassie Jayson
      Duchess

      I go both ways on this topic. When I first started dressing again 4 years back I would call what I did dressing up. Today I’ve progressed to where I don’t wear any male clothes from the time I get out of the shower after work till the next time I am getting ready for work, weather that is the next day or 2 weeks later. I do get ‘dressed up’ when I go out in public shopping or visiting with friends or going to my new job at Torrid.
      For many of us as we are starting out on our crossdressing/trans/ whatever we often do not know what to call what we do or where we are headed. So I guess these terms don’t bother me at all.

      . Cassie

    • #702494

      I don’t find anything wrong with “just dressing up.” After all, we say “I’m getting dressed up for dinner,” and it doesn’t mean it’s a costume. Dressing up according to Merriam-Webster means to become more attractive, glamorous, or attractive.

      As long as it isn’t said with a derogatory intention, I’m not worried about the correct word du jour.

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