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This has nothing to do with crossdressing or gender issues, I was talking to a friend this morning and she told me this. Kathy our neighbour was adopted by her parents when she was a baby as they were told they couldn’t have kids. Well six months later mom gets pregnant and has 2 children a couple foyers apart and her parents if you want to call them that began to treat her like we didn’t need you after all and she was a second class citizen in her own home. Kathy grows up meets a man falls in love and they have 2 great kids. The marriage doesn’t work dad picks up and is gone never to be seen again. Twenty or so years later Kathy’s 2 siblings have children and there all headed for college including her youngest daughter. Grandma and grandpa come out at a family get together the other night and announce they have bought the kids cars to go to school. Grandpa stands up and goes here’s your keys and here’s your keys and Kathy’s daughter’s kind of like well where’s mine grandpa? Grandpa turns around and says well your mother is adopted so your not really our granddaughter so we didn’t get you one!!!!
Of course Cassidy falls apart and runs out crying, Kathy loose her S#$t huge blow out and leaves and she isn’t going back. Can you blame her? Okay who here wants to:
A- strangle grandpa and grandma
B- feels kind of sick right now
C- all of the above
I actually started cry when she told me. I could never imagine being that out right mean to anyone never mind my grandkid, I’m starting to cry again.
Sorry but I had to get this off my chest.
Take care, Heather.
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Registered On: August 7, 2019Topics: 12Replies: 820Has thanked: 6386 timesBeen thanked: 3184 timesC for sure! Kind of makes the case for bringing back public pillorying down at the courthouse.
I can understand how they both feel though. My mom had my sister in 1956, just after she turned 17, and I came along in 1959. By then though, mom’s parents had pretty much written her and us out of their lives. It wasn’t because mom was a bad person, she was always a pretty free spirit and found what she enjoyed early in life and lived with the consequences, not doing too bad most of the time either. Neither man stayed involved with her once she got pregnant with us, and sis and I never met them either. We did know several of our cousins from mom’s siblings, and they got pretty good treatment from good ole grandma and grandpa, we got A bike to share one year. That’s all I remember them ever giving us.
Some people are just blessed with ignorance and other’s get it as a learned experience. Can’t help them, so why try. I wish your friend and her daughter good luck and a more happy life now that they are out of the shadow.
PaulaF
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C for sure. This one was hard for me to read. My niece went through the same sort of thing from her grandparents. My sister and her then fiance had my niece. When my niece was 2 1/2 her mother married her stepfather, who she still calls Dad even though he’s not her birth father. When she got married her birth father walked her from the room where she got dressed to the baptismal fount, which was just inside the doors of the church proper. Her Dad walked her from there to the altar.
Well, her dad’s parents considered her to not be their granddaughter for a number of years. They welcomed the rest of my sister’s kids with open arms since they were their biological grandchildren. My poor niece was shafted every time they visited, or she visited them.
His parents and our parents are good friends and were before my sister got married. Yes I was angry at them for treating my niece that way. But even more so my heart broke for my niece. And to top it all off she didn’t have a good relationship with her birth father thanks to the crap her stepmother was pulling.
Fortunately those situations have been changed for the better. Her grandparents finally came around when she was still young and call her their granddaughter, and her relationship with her birth father is pretty good. Although she still refers to her step father as Dad and her birth father by his first name.
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- Registered On: October 9, 2020Topics: 20Replies: 544Has thanked: 5716 timesBeen thanked: 2347 times
C, of course. As others, I have had a similar thing in my life, and the only way to handle it is walk away, and shout” if you dont like the gate, dont pinch your butt in the hinges on your way out”
its what my little brother did.( we are still very close, but not the rest of the family)
Hugs, Regine4 users thanked author for this post.
- Registered On: January 23, 2020Topics: 2Replies: 253Has thanked: 343 timesBeen thanked: 859 times
Some people simply do not understand the concept of family. It is more than a genetic kinship. A family is a support group especially in raising and guiding children and the creation of a home as a safe, nurturing and comfortable environment. It is the transmission of ideals, goals, History, traditions and, perhaps most importantly, affection and emotional support.
The idea that marriage is necessarily limited to two persons of the other (not opposite) sexes is garbage. Marriage is a contractual agreement to form the basis of a family and two females or two males are just as capable of doing this as a male and a female.
One one hand, I cannot blame the ‘parents’ in this instance. Their ignorance is probably due to the poor parenting in their own infancy. One is inclined to feel sorrow and dismay at their pathetic failures as humans. On the other hand, what despicable jerks!
Araminta.
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- Registered On: May 26, 2019Topics: 17Replies: 1711Has thanked: 3042 timesBeen thanked: 5735 times
My thoughts on this:
Horrible way to treat any person.
Some parents do treat their natural children even worse.
In Texas, the adoption contract stipulates that the adopted child will be given all the rights and privileges as any natural children, so this would be illegal, as well as cruel.
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- Registered On: October 22, 2018Topics: 2Replies: 263Has thanked: 1357 timesBeen thanked: 824 times
Agreed, it is a horrible way to treat any person… But a child adopted as a baby seems especially cruel.
I’ve got to ask… Does the Texas contract also stipulate the equivalence in gifts from grandparents as well… Especially as they didn’t sign the contract?
-Molly
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- Registered On: May 26, 2019Topics: 17Replies: 1711Has thanked: 3042 timesBeen thanked: 5735 times
Molly,
Grandparents don’t have any legal rights, except in special cases when Child Protective Services grants them; so no obligations either, except the moral obligation of a family member.
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- Registered On: February 26, 2018Topics: 15Replies: 170Has thanked: 157 timesBeen thanked: 671 times
Well C, would be my answer.
But if that was me, I would have stood up and said.
“well I have always loved you as my natural grandparents, but it’s obviously plan to see and by what you have said here, I have made a terrible mistake and you are not fit enough to be my grandparents, so good bye forever and shame on”
Then I would have walked right out of their lives forever. The world is indeed full of cruel humans, but you have a choice, those that truly love you, or those that pretend but repeatedly hurt you.
walk out and take every thing ever given to them on with you the way out
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There is no end to cruelty in this world. It saddens me that grandparents would not treat all their grandchildren the same whether their mother was adopted or not.
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- Registered On: January 15, 2020Topics: 17Replies: 861Has thanked: 6709 timesBeen thanked: 3274 times
Well C, would be my answer.
But if that was me, I would have stood up and said.
“well I have always loved you as my natural grandparents, but it’s obviously plan to see and by what you have said here, I have made a terrible mistake and you are not fit enough to be my grandparents, so good bye forever and shame on”
Then I would have walked right out of their lives forever. The world is indeed full of cruel humans, but you have a choice, those that truly love you, or those that pretend but repeatedly hurt you.
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This hits home as me and my wife were in same position as the grandparents started out. We had trouble having kids ended up fostering then take legal guardianship of a young preteen. Only difference from adopting is not being able to change last name. A few years later we had 2 children of our own. Still gave as equally as we can but Xmas for a 1 y/o looks very different than for a teen. The eldest moved out tried the Marines. Then moved back in and out a few times over the years. This year he was to move into our new home so we built as extra bedroom for him and his girlfriend. About 2 weeks before they were to move in they tell us they were expecting.. great… we were excited. They since decided not to move in but instead to go with his sister I stead saying we were not the real grandparents.
Now my youngest two are devastated as are we. Trying to decide if we just call it as it is and end all relationships if this is how they feel.
People need to learn to love everyone who is family by not just blood but also who is in your life.
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People being cruel and hurtful to others will never end. But also love and kindness to others will also never end.
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- Registered On: July 26, 2020Topics: 51Replies: 1444Has thanked: 6703 timesBeen thanked: 8028 times
Heather, dry your eyes honey…
People can be very cruel…
with hindsight, the perfect answer…well grandma, grandpa…we have just won the state lottery and we are buying all the family villa’s in the south of France…..if only you were family!!!
Huggs, grace 💋
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Registered On:Topics: 19Replies: 701Has thanked: 8063 timesBeen thanked: 3827 timesI saw something like this happen in my family. I won’t give details online. It is very sad. I hope Kathy and her daughter never go back! This makes me want to cry!
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- Registered On: October 24, 2020Topics: 13Replies: 517Has thanked: 1618 timesBeen thanked: 2228 times
C – All of the above!
Sad to say that there are some of that age generation that view adoption in that way. I cant pinpoint it exactly, but adoption and being widowed with that age generation carries a strange stigma with it which I dont understand.
Personally, I’ve had my own mother say similar about my two daughters who YES, I legally adopted them being they were from my ex-wife’s first marriage, but I treated them as my own.
Robyn
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- Registered On: February 20, 2018Topics: 7Replies: 317Has thanked: 136 timesBeen thanked: 950 times
WOW! Just when you think the world couldn’t get worse!! There is a special place in Hell for those kind of humans. One of my nieces is adopted and quite frankly she’s one of my favorites. As you are all my sisters though not by blood, family transcends genetics and should never be treated that poorly. I will keep your friends in my prayers.
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