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    • #355867

      My wife does not know about about my crossdressing, though I sometimes thinks she suspects something. I know (almost 100% sure) that she would not support nor tolerate my crossdressing as she can be pretty narrowminded some times.

      How about you ladies?

    • #355879
      Anonymous

      HI Brenda,

      I’m one of the lucky ones with a supportive spouse – which totally surprised me when we had The Talk.  Knowing her religious background and our church’s position on the topic, I expected opposition.  Instead, I got only two limits: no DRESSES in her presence (everything else is OK), and don’t embarrass her in front of the kids or her friends.  My reward for taking a chance with her is that I don’ have to hide; instead, I have near-total freedom to be Bettylou at home, including spending day is skirts and even using makeup.

    • #355890

      When I was first discovered (after many years) she was unsupportive.  Later she became tolerant, although she did make me a pair of earrings.

      We divorced last year over issues unrelated to my cross dressing.

      • #360689

        I’m really sorry to hear that but you look stunning in your picture hon.

    • #355898

      My fiance found out by accident when she found my stash of makeup. She was hesitant at first but now supports it. If your SO loves you enough they eill accept you no matter what.

    • #355932
      Alice Black
      Duchess

      Brenda Lynn,

      My story is the same as yours.

       

      Alice Black

       

    • #355970

      Hi Brenda,
      It took me 20 years to finally tell my wife…she had no clue. Her first reaction was a bit of a shock. Then she processed it and decided I had lived with this secret for so long I should be happy and be who I was. She became my mentor, teaching me to become more feminine. Now I can live the rest of my life happy and free!
      Love, Kathryn

    • #355982
      Carla
      Lady

      I’ve cross dressed off and on for over 35 years (I’m 58) and still secret. I’m married to an amazing wife and have dropped hints but she never takes the conversation any further. I have few of my own clothes and would love to be myself more often but don’t want to risk my relationship.

      carla x

      • This reply was modified 3 years ago by Carla.
    • #356051

      My wife doesn’t accept, support, nor tolerate my CDing. She made that quite clear to me in 2015, when she almost caught me trying on her intimates. She told me that men don’t wear women’s clothes and to stay out of her clothes. Because of this, she doesn’t know about my current stage of CDing. I now have my own full fem wardrobe; including wigs, heels, and breastforms. I also belong to two CD/TG support groups and I attend meetings dressed en full fem.

    • #356056
      Anonymous

      My wife knows but nearly tolerates my dressing, it has been a sore point in our marriage for a long time and has lead to 3 temporary separations. The last little while things have really gone down hill and honestly I don’t think we’ll be together much longer. She’s had enough and so have I and it’s got to the point of cruel jabs on both behalves and the hurting must end. Time to make a clean break so we can enjoy our lives to the fullest.

    • #356073

      My wife supports my dressing.

      When I first came out, I thought that would be the end of our relationship; but that has been years and we are still strong together.

      She has made some stipulations, and I do my best to abide by them, one of them being she doesn’t want me to go outside dressed.  I have sort of pushed the envelope on this one, at times going to the garage or taking out the trash dressed.

      I am glad she is supportive, as I do dress in front of her and at times stay dressed for almost a whole day.  Sadly I do change back before bedtime, as I have to do the 2:30 am pee thing and it is easier to go with minimal clothing on and I read it is not good to sleep with makeup on.

    • #356913

      I was totally upfront with my wife before marriage, we dated for about two years so she got to know me well so we had no problems with my dressing. She is totally supportive and says their just clothes. She wants me to wear panties and sleep in silky nighties she would be very upset to see me in men’s underwear and I wouldn’t want to upset her.

    • #356923
      Caty Ryan
      Baroness

      We work on the DADT in this house. She knows “but does not want to know”. The crucial time for me was when back in 2017, I attended a weekend CD event up in the Blue Mountains west of Sydney.

      She did not answer one of of many text messages..

      So that kinda sums up how she feels about Caty.

       

      Caty

       

    • #356949
      Peggy Sue Williams
      Duchess - Annual

      My wife fully supports my cross dressing.  She also makes herself available to any woman who is married to or the GF of a CD who needs the support of another woman in understanding their man’s desire to wear female clothing.  Up until recently, my wife and I both served as administrative board members of a local Atlanta CD support and social group.  My wife has said for years that she has the best of two people in one person, one is her best GF, and the other is her husband.

    • #357033
      Anonymous

      My wife supports & is well aware of my crossdressing , she just doesn’t want to see me fully makeover. Otherwise she’s fine & accepting that is me & part of my gender fluidity , it doesn’t define me . I’m feminine in male mode & she’s fine with this , to people in our lives  we’re totally out about me . 💐💐 Tiff

    • #357039
      Patty Phose
      Duchess

      I had been dressing fully femme for a couple of years when I met my wife. A couple of weeks after we met she surprised me showing up at my place. When she came in and saw women’s clothes lying about, she was not happy. I decided to just tell her the clothes were mine. I wore them often at home and sometimes went out in them, and like dressing up and going to parties at college. It’s a silly hobby but I enjoy it.

      She seemed suspicious and asked me to show her. I went in my bedroom and chose one of my favorite and sexiest outfits. I got myself all done up including makeup. When I steeped out to show her, she was shocked and intrigued. She could not believe how pretty and sexy I was.I began dressing around her all the time.

      Then she thought it would be fun if we went out together as girlfriends. She wanted to get some sundresses at the mall. I was very nervous about doing that. I was scared to get out of the car and even more scared to go in the mall. I noticed people looking at us. Were they looking at two sexy young girls or seeing a guy in women’s clothes? That made me even more nervous but no one was bothering us.

      We went into a store and began looking at dresses. I was beginning to focus more on the clothes and less on other people. We went to other stores. I even went in the dressing rooms to try on things. That day I bought a lot of things. Tons, of pantymose, several pairs of shoes, lots of matching bras and panties, even more bras and panties that didn’t match and a bunch of wonderful and sexy lingerie. What started out as a very scary day became a very exciting and fun experience. It was such a thrill and rush.

      As we would begin to go out more, I used to ask her if I should go as my male self or Patty? She would leave it up to me. More and more often I chose to go as Patty. After a while I didn’t even ask. I would just go as Patty. It seemed we had more fun when I did.

    • #357376
      Peggy Sue Williams
      Duchess - Annual

      So very true, Patty.  Once one gets past the marriage issues, cross dressing can become loads of fun for both husband and wife!  My wife and I often go out as two girls.

       

      Hugs,

       

      Peggy Sue

    • #357903

      I picked having a relationship end because of my dressing.  I was seriously dating a gay man for several months, even to the point of being monogamous with each other.  He began, slowly, to convince me to go out with him to places endrab, as a guy.  ( that sort of makes me shiver to think about again).  It finally got to the point that I was dressing in secret behind his back until he caught me a couple of times and finally told me to choose him or Paula.  Guess what I told him…

      PaulaF

    • #357929

      Had a similar experience and you did the right thing Paula. We have the same issues as married guys with their wives

    • #357936

      My darling knows nothing of my other persona. Maybe one day I will be confident enough to have that conversation.

    • #357939
      Anonymous

      My situation unfolded like this. Told my SO four years ago and she totally accepts that Bobbi is part of who I am. But the restrictions of DADT are in place although my wardrobe is not hiding in my closet and I have two drawers of makeup in our bathroom. She knows I need “girl time” and visits with nearby family often for that express reason. While we’re apart for several days she sends me wonderful supportive texts. I’m actually quite satisfied with this arrangement.
      Bobbi

    • #360497

      My wife knows about my dressing and knew before we were married , however she has made it perfectly clear she hates it’s . In her words her worst nightmare !! It really is the only thing wrong in our marriage, we did go to see a counselor just before all this virus shit started and they seemed a little bewildered at my wife’s statement that it was definitely the only problem we had between us and she found it so difficult to deal with !! All I want from my wife is a little space and time to be who iam she knows I’ve been doing this since I was very little and It will not go away , but she’s adamant it’s just a habit I can give up !!! I do wonder if it will one day end my marriage.

    • #360499
      Emily Alt
      Managing Ambassador

      My girlfriend has known for 3 years. We’ve been together for 12. She doesn’t want to see me dressed and doesn’t want to talk about it. Before the pandemic I was getting out about 1 weekend a month to socialize. I would spend 2-3 days living as a woman. Those brief interludes of femininity were wonderful, and they always left me wanting more.

      With COVID-19 raging and very few opportunities to dress at home, things are difficult. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and I keep coming to the same sad conclusion – I need to move on.

      Emily

    • #360500
      Anonymous

      Emily , such a difficult situation to be in , I hope some positive resolution appears 💐

      • #360511
        Emily Alt
        Managing Ambassador

        Thanks Tiff.  I hope you’re right.  I haven’t given up but there needs to be some communication.  So far all I hear is refusal.

    • #360551

      Hi Brenda I always feel a little sad for those who are still hiding a huge part of who they are. I am in no means as brave in comparison to so many here. My wife found out the hard way. I like to call it. She found my clothes in the trunk of my car. It was not a good day for the both of us. I have to say it was much worse for her. I could write a small novel on what took place over the next year. This is what i believe today. Sooner or later our SOs  will find out. We all make mistakes. Little mistakes. A ear ring. make up spill. a receipt there has to be a thousand mistakes we can and do make. Sometimes we catch them before anyone notices other times we are able to explain it away when some one else notices before we do. Maybe its best to ask this question in the significant other forum. HOW WOULD YOU HAVE PREFERRED TO FIND OUT and maybe follow some of there advice. Ladies this is such a big part of who we are as people. In most cases it has always been with us our past life and i can attest it will always be a part of your future. I spent the majority of my life hating the fact that i loved these feminine feeling.s if that makes sense. I have have arrived at a point in my life i can no longer put those clothes away or hide them any more. I am just done with hiding. It just takes too much time and effort living a lie. That was the tough part for me living a lie. I truly wish for all my sisters to be able one day to share that special part of you with your SO and at the very least be able to tolerate how we feel. I know they will never understand it. How could they? There brain and body are in alignment or agreement for lack of better words.

      Luv stephanie

    • #360573
      Anonymous

      I’ve experienced both sides of the coin, so to speak.

      I did not tell my ex-wife prior to marriage. I dressed in secret for 10 years (mostly on business trips). Eventually I told her, she freaked and it was one more problem with a problematic marriage which ended shortly afterwards.

      A few years passed and I started dating. I made a vow no to hide any part of myself from people I was dating. So when I started seriously seeing my current wife I told her. I was prepared to end the relationship if she wasn’t in to my CD hobby and thankfully she was interested.

      My wife absolutely supports and encourages me in my CD and I am so blessed to have her.

      -Caroline

    • #360755
      Stephanie
      Lady

      I couldn’t agree with you more Stephanie

    • #362682

      My wife knows about an incident and that I supposedly only “dabbled” at one time.  She does not know the full extent of my dressing or questioning of my gender as well.  She knows that I am pansexual.  If she finds out the extent, I am sure we will be visiting the lawyers and that may actually be the best thing for her.  I do not expect her to support my position nor do I condemn her for her position.  I wish I had come to the realization of who I really am sooner so that I could have avoiding hurting her.  Regardless of who or what I am, I am the one in the wrong for stepping out both dressed and sexually.  I accept, own, and deal with that every day now.  By this time next year, I am fairly certain that I will be in a new reality and that is ok.

    • #362700

      My wife is also very narrowminded.  I tried coming out once about my dressing and she told her friends and family.

    • #364257

      My family doesn’t know and, considering how closed-minded and aggressive they could become, I’d rather not to reveal. I know it’s far from the ideal situation but, at least, no one is trying to hurt others or feeling hurt.

      xoxo

      Daisy

    • #366728

       

      Totally Lucky 

       

      My wife found out after 25 years of marriage with 5 children.

      At first she was stunned then had tons of questions and tolerated it. One day she said she didnt think she could handle my ways, so I purged everything. A few months later she came to me and told me she was being unfair and wanted me to be comfortable with her.

      Now we have fun times at home and She does not care how i dress, Im quite sure our relationship is stringer now than ever

    • #367713
      Kimmie
      Lady

      That took a lot of character on her part. You are very lucky and not just for her open mindedness.

    • #367984

      When I was a crossdresser, my wife was OK and did not have a problem.

      Later, when I actually figured out that I was transgender and non-binary, my wife was still OK and did not have a problem…

    • #369452
      Anonymous

      My wife doesn’t know, although I think she suspects. When we’re out shopping, sometimes I throw little girly hints out, or stare at women’s clothing, and make a comment here and there. A couple weeks ago I told her I thought I was going through the change. That really took some stress off! Seriously, I plan on telling her very soon. I luv her so much, even if she didn’t approve, I luv her enough to be open with her.

    • #369557

      My late wife knew about me before we got married I would ask her if I could wear her clothes but she want to me dressed like a woman I think she was more scared about family finding out about the woman in me. About 10 years after being married she allowed me to start Shaving my legs and pits. She let me wear short shorts in the house but never 👗 dresses or skirts but she loved my silky smooth legs and tell me I need to shave them cause felt stubbles.

       

    • #369569

      She knows and doesn’t really support or tolerate my cross dressing, but it was her idea for me to go away every once in a while to live this essential part of my life, so she doesn’t have to see it – and she still supports me doing this.

      I find it a little insulting, now that I’ve learned how deeply this runs in me – it’s a part of who I am, for better or worse, and a part I have come to love.

      As a stranger to self love, this is a massive revelation and confidence boost – I really can be who I believe myself to be, and drag (Dressing As a Girl) is part of my future.

      I’ll never be a drag queen – that’s something different, but I love what those ladies do, and the nephew of one of my wife’s work colleagues was on the first series of RuPaul’s Drag Race UK, so, deeply inspired, I am working on an act to try out on the circuit.

      I hope, by making it an act, my cross dressing may become more accepted at home – I do a lot of acting and musical things on stage, so let’s see 🤩

      It’s better to travel than to arrive.

      Love Laura

       

    • #369573

      [postquote quote=369569]
      And I can say I knew you when. And we finally have Drag Race Canada! Loving it. They just had Snatch Game.

       

      Janice

      XOXO

    • #369582

      Haha!

      I don’t think I’ll make it that far, Janice –  although it would be lovely if I got on that show.

      I love drag race Canada – Lemon is my favourite at the moment.

      Love Laura

    • #369586

      [postquote quote=369582]
      Mine too!!!!

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