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    • #115503

      I’ve become very conscious of my legs when I am wearing a skirt or dress. I seem to naturally be aware of how my legs are aligned or together when I’m sitting and even when I’m standing. For one thing, I love the feel of skin on skin, legs that are bare all the way up. But it’s also that I feel much more lady-like when I’m sitting when I keep my knees together, or crossed.

      The reason I bring this up is because at the meetings of the crossdressers’ support group I belong to, many of the women splay their legs as if they were still men. It blows my mind to see that. sitting in a skirt or dress, their legs are spread like a cis male. Or when they cross their legs, it’s in the male style of calf on knee, with a visible gap in the thighs, even in a short skirt or dress. And when they sit or stand, knees splay open.

      I’m not saying everyone Should do any thing, but I’m curious how many of you gurls are conscious of their lady status when it comes to knees together or legs apart in a skirt? How does that feel to you?

    • #115507

      I myself find it extremely hard to cross my legs like a lady. I cross left over right and find it easier to lean to the right when crossing even pushing down on my knee to close the gap some. I do sit with my knees together and try to keep them closed. It is just another aspect that we must train for till it becomes natural.

    • #115514
      Michelle Liefde
      Ambassador

      Hi Lorie,

      Great question! It has become more natural for me, after a lot of practice that sometimes even in drab, I catch myself sitting with a more feminine posture.  The other day, I noticed that I was keeping my knees closer together when walking as well.   It feels more comfortable at this point.  – Michelle.

    • #115521

      Hi Lorie. For ladies….the positioning of legs when sitting is important for modesty. Men in pants can hold their legs apart because they are not showing a public display. Also…mens organs hang down and closing the legs make it hard and painful to do so, if they are well endowed. Being a crossgender to a lady or a cross dresser points out the many little things that must be learned if you ever are to pass 100 per cent. Checking make up, twirlin g hair, eating salad not burgers, how you hold your cigarrette and fold your hands makes a huge difference. Open and exiting doors is another one. Study real girls especially the classy ones….see how they behave…..become all you can be.

      Dame Veronica

    • #115528

      Hi Lorie,

      To me this is one of the most important parts of our femininity, for two reasons. Firstly, as Veronica rightly says, it is a question of modesty. Secondly, it is a much more feminine, and graceful, movement. Great legs are a beautiful part of the female body,  and when crossed gracefully look gorgeous and very sexy. Like you Michelle, I sit with my knees close together most of the time and now cross my legs as a lady would. Sounds like your support group, Lorie, could use some practice with this. You have it absolutely right, and doesn’t it feel wonderful?

    • #115595

      Thanks for everyone’s feedback. Davinia, I appreciate your support that I have the right idea about adopting lady-like behavior and mannerisms. What I find amusing is that I seem to be adopting the mannerisms simply by putting on  the clothes  The challenge for me at this point, as far as the gurls in our group is concerned, how do I bring it up without being in judgment or sounding like I’m criticizing or appearing to have a “superior” air about myself? I have a feeling that my best option might be to just set an example and hope that some of them will get the idea.

      It seems like setting an example worked when it comes to clothes and outfits. It seemed like when I first joined the group a few months ago that some of the gurls did not go to much effort in their dress. I know how easy it is to become apathetic about appearances when attending a function for years. But I was so excited to be dressing in public that I took great care in assembling a look, and I really wanted to take advantage of the opportunity to wear something cute and feminine. Shortly thereafter, many who had been wearing jeans and t-shirts began wearing skirts and dresses.

      Sometimes I have to remind myself that there are three kinds of business: my business, others’ business, and God’s business. This is probably not my business. I don’t think the possible loss of friendships is worth the risk if I were to say something to the group about their unlady-like mannerisms. Discretion is the better part of valor.

      • #146422
        eleanor holborn
        Managing Ambassador

        Hi ladies as a gg please be careful when getting out of car as well there is an etiquette to it if you want to see how to do it properly watch a video of queen Elizabeth not some of the celebs they have no idea lol

    • #115636

      That was all worth reading, thank you all. I agree 100 percent, mannerisms and how you present yourself is so important. I am so very new to crossdressing I find this to almost switch automatically when I dress, it’s almost like a necessary part of the clothes.

    • #115653
      Anonymous

      I go into girl mode fully as soon as I put on a skirt or dress,I underdress 24/7 so I do find myself sitting and walking a lot more ladylike even in drab,I work on my female mannerisms constantly.

    • #115658
      Anonymous

      I’m with you, Lorie.  It is important that we present ourselves in as feminine and ladylike manner as possible.  I’ve studied women for years to learn their mannerisms and do my best to do as they do when en femme.

    • #115682

      Yes. I keep my knees together. I forget at times and spread my legs  but have gottrn much better at that.

      Unfortunately I have short legs and cannot cross them knee over knee  like a lady.

    • #115684
      Anonymous

      I am fully aware now of all these little mannerism over the years and agree with you Lorie that it is very important. I find myself keeping my legs together even when out and simply underdressed. These are important tell signs for passing. Acting fem is as important as looking the role.

    • #115782
      Anonymous

      Legs together , short skirt, stockings and heels it is only the only way to be.

    • #115789
      Anonymous

      [quote quote=115503]Or when they cross their legs, it’s in the male style of calf on knee, with a visible gap in the thighs…
      [/quote]

      Until I read that I’ve never really noticed or thought how most males cross their legs.  But now you mention it, it is obvious.  I just tried doing it that way and it is most uncomfortable. I’ve always crossed my legs knee over knee or crossed at the ankles with the knees squeezed together.  No wonder my ex-wife complained that I sat like a girl.

      Great! That’s one thing I can cross off my list, just several hundred other things to get right…

       

       

    • #115889

      I have started wearing skirts and dresses at a very young age, so I have had plenty of time to learn to sit properly. But I had to learn it first, as anyone else.

      Maybe the ladies you met did not have yet the opportunity to learn that?

      (Also, I should add that I can not, for the life of me, cross my legs as a lady. )

      That said, a girl may also chose to sit improperly just to be provocative and/or seductive 😉

      The challenge for me at this point, as far as the gurls in our group is concerned, how do I bring it up without being in judgment or sounding like I’m criticizing or appearing to have a “superior” air about myself?

      You don’t? because in doing so you will be edit:sound judgmental as there is not a single good/true way to be or to feel a woman.

      What you can do, though, is keep on doing the things the way you think you should do them, and maybe this will serve as a model for other? Maybe they will ask for advice? Or maybe they won’t 😉

    • #115919

      Hi Lorie,

      I’m with you, knees together when sitting or crosslegged. I mostly sit crosslegged even when in drab, but I wouldn’t dream of sitting with my legs apart when wearing a dress or skirt, I think it looks horrible, which of course is why most women sit legs together.

    • #115920
      Anonymous

      Since loosing 4 stone I cross my legs a lot even in male attire. When wearing a skirt and tights it’s even better and comes very naturally and comfortably. The transformation mentally in both mood and feeling is incredible when a skirt goes on… I could be on another planet… and it’s a planet I love and want very much. What’s even better is I know there are others that feel this way.

    • #115991

      Part of the enjoyment I get from cross dressing is constantly focusing on all of the feminine things I’m doing. Mannerisms included. The more feminine I am, the better it feels. When I notice I’m not sitting like a lady, it takes away from the enjoyment, and I immediately correct. I also learned how to tuck (easy once you figure it out) and I love crossing my legs en femme. There’s no way a man could sit like that, and rarr.

      Cross dresser support group? I’m curious about this. I’m assuming you’re there to girl it up in an encouraging supportive family environment? Maybe it’s only me, but seeing anyone manspreading in a dress would remind me to sit like a lady. I’m visualizing a bunch of dudes in a circle of chairs (like an AA meeting) just leaving nothing to the imagination. Of course, I’ve never cross dressed in front of anyone, and I get distracted easily. I could be one of those guys. Haha.

       

      Sittin like a lady,

      Victoria

    • #117689
      michelee
      Lady

      Hi Lorie!  Thank you so much for your post.  Yes, I’ve always crossed my legs like a man.  Sad to say.  But much has changed for me in recent years.  I was told years ago by a fellow CD that I should observe women and how they behave and present themselves.  I have really focused on doing that and now I practice all the time.  To the point that I sit like a woman all the time, even when in male mode.  My knees are always together and/or crossed knee over knee.  Friends have noticed that and have even mentioned it to me.  I reply by saying (to those I’m not out to) that it’s the most comfortable position for me.  I’m working on others aspects of behavior also, like not folding my arms across my breasts, like presenting a smaller image by keeping my arms close to my sides at all times.  So much to learn, and I love doing it.

    • #117926

      Hello Lorie, wonderful post. I’m actually acutely concious of my stance pose etc when dressed. I always make every effort to adjust myself into the feminine style…legs crossed, knees together etc

    • #120589
      michelee
      Lady

      Knees together or knee over knee no matter what I’m wearing, man clothes or en femme!!!  I’m locked into a lady-like presentation at all times.

    • #120641
      Anonymous

      Hi, I always sit with my knees together or with my legs crossed, whether I’m wearing a skirt, dress or jeans. Its the natural way for a woman to sit. Helen Elizabeth.

    • #120717

      knees together, good etiquette. I stand with legs crossed or close together and sitting either knees together or my preferred way of sitting….legs crossed tightly. 🙂

      • #120720
        Anonymous

        I think that when I dress as a woman I should behave as a woman. Sitting and standing like a woman is just the natural thing to do. Plus it feels so nice!!!

    • #120858
      Anonymous

      My sis in law was my early dressing mentor. She taught me skirt and dress etiquette: legs crossed at the knee or ankle, and knees together. She also demonstrated faux pas: showing too much thigh with crossed legs and panty triangle with slightly parted knees.

    • #120870

      As feminine as I like to be I still like to expose my panties [usually pink] to passerby “on accident” I like the attention.

    • #146417
      C

      Any woman will tell you, knees together. If sitting, slightly to one side and ankle together. When you crouch down keep the knees and ankles together and slightly to the side so you reach over the bent knees to one side. Men sit with their legs splayed and crouch down with one leg each side to grab things off the ground between their legs. Women are conscious of what they will show doing it wrong, the only place I’ve seen women splay legs is in a bar inviting male customers.

      So what do you want to be? A man in a skirt of a woman in a skirt?

    • #146426
      C

      Oh, and for heaven’s sake ladies remember going up or down stairs!! Women put each foot AND knee in front of the other as they ascend or descend, it also helps give your hips that essential sway.

      Walk up or down stairs like a man and two things will happen: (1) You look like a man in a skirt and (2) going down stairs you may break your neck when the hemline of a tight skirt suddenly stops your legs spreading any further and…splat.

    • #146478

      I recently went to a gay bar with a gurl friend of mine.  We ended up playing pool, the table was visible from most of the bar.  I had to be very careful making shots as I was wearing a  short leather skirt with stockings, garter belt and a frilly pair of lace panties.  I didn’t want to lean over the table to much as it would be a real show for the gay guys who were watching us all the time.  Maybe next time I will give them a little show, that might be fun.

    • #146954
      Caty Ryan
      Baroness

      I’m with lady Veronica in that I do my best for the knees together thing, but “whats between my thighs at the top” make it very difficult, even when I’m properly tucked.

      So I tend to do the crossing at the ankles thing and hold my knees as close together as I can.

      Also even in shorts in an Australian summer, I try to imagine I’m dressed and get in and out of my car ina “aldylike manner”

      Caty

       

    • #147338

      I cross my legs at the knee whatever i’m wearing be it a skirt, dress or trousers. It’s the natural way to sit for me, i used to have to think about it but now i do it naturally without thinking.

      • #147355
        Anonymous

        I have to say I never splay my legs when sitting even in guy mode, it pays us to develop good habits when as a man or a woman.

    • #147525
      karley delaware
      Baroness - Annual

      I am always mindful of crossing my legs , knees together or knees together with ankles locked when wearing a skirt. When at work and wearing pants or uniform shorts, I do the same to feel girly while in drab.

    • #147658

      I still think about my leg position but more when I’m standing make sure it’s femme. As far as sitting I try to cross my legs like a lady even in drab seems more comfortable.

    • #147849

      I love to keep my Knees together as a lady should.

      However its a Lot harder than I ever thought it would be, after a short while my muscles start aching and my legs quiver.

      Also when wearing skinny jeans is it property keep my legs together?

       

      Patty

      • #147890

        Patty, I often wonder the same thing about jeans. What I’ve noticed in some women is that they will disregard the ladylike knees-together if they are feeling comfortable. In jeans, some women will let their legs splay. Some will cross their legs with ankle on knee, too. I think for many women, the knees together is only required for skirts and dresses.

        • #147991

          Thanks Lorie,

          I find i feel more feminine keeping my knees together.
          Its baron my old knees squating down to pick things up.

          Also the leg cross thing seems harder for women.

          My calf starts hurting pretty quick.

          I still love it

          I even keep my knees together on my Zero Turn mower now

          Patty

          • #148602
            Anonymous

            I bet you look so ladylike cutting the grass Patty.

    • #147913
      Rami Love
      Lady

      Always try to keep my knees together, ankles crossed, always,  regardless of what I am wearing. I maintain correct posture seated , standing, walking getting in and out of my vehicle, when seating myself. I just feel so much more like my beautiful feminine self when I maintain correct posture. Youtube correct womans posture. 

    • #148788
      Anonymous

      Hmmm: I’m currently purged (and missing dressing like crazy!) when en femme I always sat in a ladylike way (apart from the occasional upskirt peek!) modelled on female friends and of course my Wife. I’ve now noticed after following this thread that I don’t tend to sit like a man: legs crossed at the knee or ankle! As I said…. hmmm!

    • #148905

      Thanks to all of you for your thoughtful comments. I can feel the feminine energy just from reading these posts. I can really identify with you all.

      There’s a part of me that just feels feminine and wants the feeling of my mannerisms, poses, and movements to Express that feminine in me.

      And there is the practical part of letting people know that I am a girl inside, and that the modesty and dignity of NOT exposing my panties is simply being civil. Being careless, to me, is saying that I’m not conscious of social norms, or I’m saying that it’s too much work to bother with. I am not a sexual object. If I am conscious of exposing people to my unmentionables, perhaps they would assume that I’m doing this strictly as fetish exhibitionism for a sexual rush.

      As I look back at what I’ve said, I can see that I have a prejudice. I have the opportunity to accept that some crossdressers may truly be oblivious to what they are doing and how it affects the people around them. I can also see that I have a needy desire to have people like and accept me, so that may be part of my motive to conform to feminine norms. Some gurls may feel so clearly that they don’t care what others think, they may be, again, oblivious to the idea of feminine etiquette.

      It also occurs to me that maybe those in my group who aren’t the most ladylike with us consider this time to be gurl time, and maybe they feel it’s a chance to relax and drop the efforts that etiquette requires only because they are among their sisters.

      All of that being said, I noticed that no one made any comments about how they feel about ignoring the social and etiquette norms and continuing the male mannerisms while in female mode. I would love to hear from some of these gurls, as well.

      What say you?

      • #148944
        C

        Lorie,

        Well said. I think the distinction that is playing out here is about ladylike or not. There are gg’s whose boobs spill out the top and whose shorts are so tight they don’t need to undress at the gynaecologist. They are very definitely women and free to do it in my mind, however Miss Manners would never deam them ladylike.

        Then there are the demure women who carefully, artfully do not (over) expose, and there are all shades in between.

        So, down to us which of these we are in the spectrum, enjoy it, flaunt it or not if you will. Social norms of course vary by region too and we’re a global forum, so let’s take that into account too.

        So…I would go with ladylike=legs & knees together, but I’m old-fashioned 😉

        Simone

    • #148948

      Hello Girls, I was at a shopping centre and noticed a plus size woman sitting on a seat outside the store. The woman was sitting ‘man-spread’, legs apart, and was wearing a dress. Luckily the dress went below the knees. Just an observation.  When I am out, I observe the way women walk, sit, and their general demeanour. I dress enfemme at home and sit like a woman, legs together.

      • #162347

        This brings up an interesting point: we make a lot of assumptions when we say “sit like a woman” when as you’ve said many women don’t follow these unwritten rules.  When I’m wearing a skirt or dress modesty and common sense seem to dictate that I probably shouldn’t be showing the world (oh, who am I kidding?  My private apartment) my “little secret” but given that skirts and dresses seem to be on the decline in the GG sector, perhaps as Bobby said “the times they are a’changin'”.

        Just makes you think about the unconscious assumptions we jump to when we think of gender roles, even within our hopefully-enlightened community.

    • #162304

      I don’t know whether it’s natural or not, but when dressed I always try to maintain feminine posture, keeping knees together or ankles / legs crossed when seated. I think we should make the effort to be as fem as possible when out, after all isn’t that what we really want?

    • #162312

      I find myself keeping my knees together when I wear a dress. I don’t know if it’s a conscious effort or if it just happens. I have been in a dress all day and noticed that even when I was sat in my chair reclining, my legs were together. If I did it purposefully, I wasn’t aware that I did. Sat at my desk now, my legs are splayed just a bit but my dress is pushed down between my legs. I did that bit on purpose.

    • #162349

      I guess it just seems natural for me when wearing a skirt or dress that I keep my knees and legs together…e.g. when swinging my legs out of the car.  Men are so used to throwing one foot out the door and then the next foot.  I love the elegance that comes with wearing a skirt/dress and being a woman.

    • #162373
      Anonymous

      Most women are careful not to reveal what’s up the skirt, and it is more ladylike and appealing – much of the fun is in imagining the beautiful form underneath.

      I’ve known women who like to show off their nice underwear, and some even say why wear such pretty panties if no-one will look at them!

      I even started a romance with a lady after the wind blew her skirt right up, causing her to drop all the files and folders she was carrying. I helped pick them up and carried them for her so that she could prevent the wind from doing that again.

      She actually apologised to me about it, and I simply spoke my mind without engaging my brain, saying that I’d really enjoyed the Munroe moment.

      A natural friendship and romance blossomed from that moment… but died when I revealed that I am a cross dresser.

      So it goes :0)

      Legs together, or crossed for effect.

      Unless you’re an Essex girl, then don’t worry about it!

      Love Laura

    • #164268

      I keep my knees together especially since I like knee length and above the knee skirts.

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