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    • #751929
      Ellie Davis
      Ambassador

      Hey girls!

      Now ,,, I said ‘Hey girls’ deliberately because I genuinely wanted to check. Is that an okay way to greet people on here? Or is it going to offend anyone? What about ‘sister’ and ‘girlfriend’? Are those generally acceptable, even to MTF crossdressers who don’t identify as female?

      The reason I’m asking is that in my 59 years, most of them involving crossdressing to varying degrees, I have never (until now) been in contact with another crossdresser. When I drop into the chatroom, I keep encountering words I’ve never heard before. I sit here with a notepad, scribbling things down and then frantically googling. It’s a whole new language for me. And as with learning any new language, I worry I’m going to make mistakes.

      The chatroom has already added several words to my vocabulary – drab (love that one!), underdressing, AMAB and GG are examples!

      What I’d like to know are two things:

      1) Is there a single, inclusive way to say ‘hi’ to a group that everyone generally uses, and that is considered acceptable to all?

      2). What other words / phrases / abbreviations do you commonly use? Just terms that are in everyday use in our community. I’ve been looking at online glossaries and they seem fairly comprehensive, although they don’t always agree about whether some terms are acceptable or offensive. One said that ‘GG’ was offensive, but I was at a loss to understand why. Maybe it would depend on the context?

      Anyway – there you go. I’m looking forward to being schooled in the correct etiquette and expanding my vocabulary!

      Hugs

      Ellie x

      (PS – personally I am loving being called ‘girl and ‘girlfriend’ on here. I’ve been starved of that my whole life, and now I can’t get enough!)

    • #751937
      Chrissie Smith
      Baroness

      Hi Ellie. Great post! Heaven knows, I’m no expert. I’ve been on CDH for about three months now, and had a week en femme and a fabulous makeover recently. All this after a 35 year hiatus. But I like girls, ladies, girlfriend, sister and even girlie and hun. It all seems so natural communicating with the girls here in such a fashion. I’m sure everyone is comfortable with this, or even a bit thrilled! I know I am.

      I know what you mean about acronyms. I’ve LEARNT SO, GG, AMAB, DADT, LBD, OBG, even XOXO!

      Hugs, Chrissie xx.

      • #751947
        Ellie Davis
        Ambassador

        DADT and OBG? Help! *reaches for Google*

        • #751948
          Ellie Davis
          Ambassador

          Okay … ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’? But … OBG?

          • #751951
            Chrissie Smith
            Baroness

            Ellie, open bottom girdle. An absolute must for me when I dress. I just love them.

            Chrissie xx.

          • #751953
            Ellie Davis
            Ambassador

            Haha! I would have been trying to figure that one out for a while!

            So … something you’d recommend?

            Ellie x

          • #751960
            Chrissie Smith
            Baroness

            Well all our tastes will vary a little but an OBG with some nice stockings and heels just pushes all my buttons.

            Chrissie xx.

          • #751978
            Sherri Remington
            Duchess - Annual

            Couldn’t agree more Chrissie!

            Sherri

          • #766161

            As to Pink Flags, I try to make sure I never show one but ……….
            (1) After telling a female work colleague how great she looked in her LBD (which doesn’t usually wear),I had to quickly explain that I learn such terms and acronyms from my daughter. (BTW : She seemed to appreciate the compliment.)
            (2) In a closely matched pub quiz, I couldn’t resist correctly answering the question as to what is the iconic tell-tale feature of Louboos. – “How the hell did you know that?”

          • #766172
            Ellie Davis
            Ambassador

            Celeste

            My team would clearly have come last in the aforementioned pub quiz. You might have to explain ‘Louboos’ to me.

            I’m hoping it’s nothing rude, or we might both get banned for life.

            Ellie x

          • #766191

            It’s not rude at all, Hon. (Would I? You should know me better than that by now – I’ve been here for over 4 hours!)
            Louboos are those fabulous shoes by Christian Louboutin with his trademark red soles.
            C. x

          • #766199
            Ellie Davis
            Ambassador

            Well there we are … you learn something new every day 🙂

            I think the closest I’ll every get to that is to buy a pair of cheap heels and work over the soles with a pot of Rimmel 60 seconds.

            Hugs

            Ellie x

          • #766266

            Hmmmm…… That could work, but really you’d need to have an exact colour match and I can’t see that Rimmel 60 has one – 310 Double Decker Red would be closest but it’s a tad too dark.
            Anyways, I’d be wary of using nail polish, heels are problematical enough without having super-slippy soles, and having to sport a plaster cast for 6 weeks or so does nothing for one’s deportment and just doesn’t make the same statement that a pair of heels make.
            (I’ve just checked out Valspar and there’s no match there either – Scarlet Tanager the closest.)
            C x

          • #766267

            Zoya’s Tamsen might be close enough but do be careful, Hon.

          • #766358
            Ellie Davis
            Ambassador

            Celeste … I love you so much for actually researching the correct shades of red 🙂

            Regarding potential slip issues, what if I were to use a slower-drying nail varnish but mixed it with fine sand so that it has added grip?

            Also … I’m sure that with a bit of effort, a few sequins and a certain amount of sass, a plaster cast could add a degree of ‘je ne sais quoi’ to any outfit.

            Ellie x

            *Disclaimer: Ellie’s legal team would like to point out that if anyone is crazy enough to actually try the varnish/sand combo then she bears no liability for any resulting injury or death*

            • This reply was modified 9 months ago by Ellie Davis. Reason: Advice from Ellie's lawyers
          • #752230
            Samantha R
            Duchess

            Chrissie – you convinced me.

          • #762747

            Bringing you on board as one of my fashion advisors.  Stocking brand preference?

          • #752174

            give OBG a try and you will be hooked forever

          • #752182
            Chrissie Smith
            Baroness

            Absolutely Clarissa xx

          • #752236
            Ellie Davis
            Ambassador

            Okaaaay Clarissa – that’s quite the recommendation! Now I’m DEFINITELY going to get one!

            Hugs

            Ellie x

          • #752327

            Partial to LLPGs myself, mmmmmm!

          • #752328
            Chrissie Smith
            Baroness

            Local Land and Property Gazetteer?

          • #752331

            Lol!  “Long Leg Panty Girdle”!  Just like Mom wore – got my start with hers!

          • #762745

            My first experience also thanks for reminding

          • #752375
            Ellie Davis
            Ambassador

            OK Stephie – now you have me stumped.

            LLPG. Something to do with liquid petroleum gas?

            Ellie x

      • #752008

        Question from another ‘rookie sister’ here:  what is AMAB?  Thanks, ladies!

        Stephie

        • #752009
          Ellie Davis
          Ambassador

          Hi Stephie

          I actually know that one, which is unusual for me. It’s ‘assigned male at birth’.

          Chrissie – we posted at the same time 😛

          Ellie x

          • #752013

            Thanks Ellie!  Feels so special to get generous help from sweet sisters!

            hugs,  Stephie

        • #752010
          Chrissie Smith
          Baroness

          Stephie, assigned male at birth.

          xx

      • #752173

        LBD ? is that “little black dress”?

    • #751956

      Ellie , I’m not sure if I can teach you any words but you will not offend me in any way . If you call me her, she, him , crossdresser, trans , it won’t bother me in the least. Yes I’m a crossdresser and love every thing involved with it. The only word I don’t like is “ sissy”. This site taught me “ pink fog” which I’d hadn’t hear of but had been dealing with it for many years. I always just said the urge to dress was strong .

      • #751958
        Ellie Davis
        Ambassador

        Hey Ashley. I’m totally with you on ‘sissy’ – not a word I would ever use.

        I’d forgotten that I’d also added ‘pink fog’ to my vocabulary in the last two days. It seems like such a perfect phrase; I love it when it descends, but am also grateful for the existence of foglights!

        Ellie x

    • #751962

      I don’t see it much on this site, but have on another one, MAID, Man in A Dress. It’s what I am when I go out because I don’t wear makeup or a wig yet, just a dress and my forms.

      • #751963
        Ellie Davis
        Ambassador

        Love it – I’ll add it to my inner dictionary!

        Ellie x

    • #751973

      Hi Girlfriend

      I’m with you 💯 on your P.S. comment, love it when I got my Bianca on.
      But I am totally at ease with friends who know all of me sometimes getting tripped up or tongue tied gendering me. I will tell anybody I like to be called how I present, but won’t get upset or angry if they don’t. Totally get how difficult it is especially for people who have known me for a long time.

      Personally don’t like the word gurl.

      B x

      P.S. Some friends have taken to simply calling me B because it’s the first letter of both my names, and how I usually sign off messages.

      • #751974
        Ellie Davis
        Ambassador

        Thank you Yes … ‘gurl’ is a strange one!

        E x

    • #751984
      Samantha R
      Duchess

      Hey Girlfriend!

      Love the post! I don’t get offended by Girls, Ladies, sweetheart, etc. I think it’s perfectly OK to shout out to a group “Hi Girls” or any other term that refers to the Feminine gender.

      I do not like the “Gurl” much either.

      Hugs

    • #751990

      Hi Girlfriend,

      Ellie we all love being called by Fem pronouns apart from sissy, that is a no no, we are all sister’s on here, I’ve been in the pink fog a long time since before i was a teen-ager, I’ve tried giving it up but it’s too strong to resist,

      I’ve still not gotten all the meaning of all the acronym’s and I’ve been on CDH for awhile,

      Some of the one’s i know are LBD , drab I’m in drab most of the time i do break it up by wearing bright coloured shirts and T shirts, there are a few other’s I’m aware of,

      Hugs Rozalyn X

    • #752024

      Love to call my GG friends girlfriends

      • #752025
        Ellie Davis
        Ambassador

        That must feel good, especially if they do the same to you. The idea of being out to a GG, and having that relationship, is really appealing!

        Ellie x

    • #752051
      Janet Woodham
      Duchess - Annual

      Hi Ellie,

      After registering on this site at the seventh attempt,having run away six times, I went straight to chat I and simply said “Hello Ladies” and have continued that way for two and a half years. No one has yet told me I am wrong.

      I know exactly what you mean about liberating it is to be treated as a woman on this site.

      Hugs,

      Janet

    • #752065
      Fiona Black
      Baroness - Annual

      I just say ‘hi ladies” or “hi gals” when addressing a group of CD’s online or in person.

    • #752104
      J J
      Lady

      I do not take offense to any word or words but can get mighty upset by the way words are used. I have no inject to say, Hi girl, but would punch somebody for saying, hey girl go get me a cup of coffee.

      I have been greeted by SAs with hi honey, but would tell a waitress, “Honey, I have another drink”.

    • #752106

      Hey girl!

      You’re doing just fine in my book. Any of the polite feminine terms are good for me and probably all the other ladies here. I hope your journey of discovery is as fun for you, as its been for this girl!

      Hugs for my sisters,

      Jill

       

      • #752147
        Ellie Davis
        Ambassador

        Hey girl to you too!

        And yes, I think this is going to be a fun ride.

        Hugs

        Ellie x

    • #752129

      You’re off to a good start, gf. When you reach 42nd Degree Crossdresser we’ll reveal the rest of our secret language.

      • #752146
        Ellie Davis
        Ambassador

        Is there a special handshake as well? Please let there be a special handshake!

        Ellie x

        • #752172

          maybe the secret handshake is tickling the other persons palm while shaking hands, LOL

          • #752305
            Anonymous

            That’s supposed to be a Fraternity/Sorority secret!

          • #752307
            Ellie Davis
            Ambassador

            Do I have to go through any rituals before I’m allowed to join the sorority? Or will someone just sidle up to me one day and pass me a note that says ‘You’re in, sister. This note will self-destruct after five seconds’?

            Ellie x

          • #752309
            Anonymous

            Oh, a 60’s Mission Impossible veteran! I was one of those GDI’s. G*d Damn Independents.

    • #752162

      Hi Ellie. When I joined I wasn’t sure what to think when someone called me girl or girlfriend.  It took a little getting used to since if in the past in male mode, anyone that called you a girl was insulting your masculinity.  But I’ve become used to it and my life has changed for the better.  When I’m here, I’m a girl.  Not necessarily physically but for sure mentally.  I also realized a while back that all of the women on this site don’t really care what you call them, because we are all understanding and respectful here.  We all realize that we have something in common and are just here to celebrate it and support one another.

      On to the abbreviations, it won’t hurt anyone’s feelings if they use an abbreviation that you never heard of to ask what it is.  I used to work for the government  and we talked in acronyms all the time, and finally composed a list that we presented to new employees for orientation so they might know that we weren’t talking in code.

      We’re glad your here girlfriend!

      • #752165
        Ellie Davis
        Ambassador

        Hey Jennifer

        ‘Girl’, ‘girlfriend’ – when I get called that it’s like balm for the soul.

        As for the dreaded acronyms, I work in education so we get whole emails from senior managers that are incomprehensible without an Enigma machine.

        Hugs

        Ellie x

    • #752171

      Hi Ellie, this is a very friendly place and I’m sure everybody in here are ready to help you if you need help whether its something specific about crossdressing or its about the language in here.
      Velcome to Crossdresserheaven.

    • #752237

      To my recollection GURL was an acronym that referred to us ladies who first invaded the male “nerdworld” of computer gaming. It was a clumsy combination of G (girl) and URL (universal resource locator). If used as a positive, it was a reference to girl related or semi-friendly gaming sites etc. If used as a negative it was a semi-derogative term used by males who didn’t want females playing in their playground. Currently, I believe it refers to ladies, who identify as such, online, but only online. It also connotates a false identity, whether real or imagined.

      • #752240
        Ellie Davis
        Ambassador

        Thanks Mandi – really interesting

        This thread has been SO educational.

        Ellie x

      • #753281
        Dawn Judson
        Ambassador

      • #753292

        Good Lord Mandi, what else do you keep stored up there?   Lol. Hugs, Jillleanne

    • #752448

      Fun and interesting thread Ellie and I’ve learned several new acronyms.

      For me personally, call me anything except late for dinner:) Also not a big fan of gurl though. I really enjoy hearing and seeing my feminine name since it feels so affirming and I don’t get to hear it except from my sisters here.

      Hugs,

      Michelle

      • #752477
        Ellie Davis
        Ambassador

        Hey Michelle

        Seeing and hearing my female name being used is one of the many, many wonderful things about being here on Crossdresser Heaven. I can’t get enough of it.

        Hugs

        Elle x

        (PS Have to add that in my case Ellie no longer feels like my ‘female’ name but MY name. It’s what I call myself all the time, to the extent that at work today someone had to use my boy name twice before I even looked round!)

        • #763569
          Anonymous

          When I meet a Julie I want to day hey that is my name too.

    • #752472

      Now you can call me Ray

      Or you can call me Jay

      Or you can me RJ.

      But you doesn’t have to call me Ms. Johnson!

      Sorry, I just couldn’t resist a flight back in time to Rowan and Martin’s Laugh In.

      Like most here I respond to about anything. However, I really like when I get called sister. We truly do have a sisterhood here.

       

      Love ,

      Tommie 💖

      • #752476
        Ellie Davis
        Ambassador

        Hey Tommie

        ‘Sister’ – how I love that word too.

        I have two older sisters; growing up I always felt like their lil sis. The longing to be treated that way was intense.

        So yes … it feels wonderful, after all these years, to have found girls who will call me ‘sister’!

        Hugs

        Ellie x

      • #753291

        I loved R and M as a kid. My mother hated them.  Lol

         

         

      • #762742

        “And meet their daughter  Sparkle Farkle”.   Or , “ would you like a bite of my Walnetto?”   Tommie you got me started!

    • #753265

      would it be possible to add a h]glossary of terms somewhere on the site?

      • #753267
        Ellie Davis
        Ambassador

        Oooh … I think that would be a great idea! I think lots of people would find something like that really useful. As I said in my opener, here are a few glossaries online but they don’t always fully agree with each other, which can be less than helpful if you’re trying to learn the lingo. Also, they are not always particularly comprehensive.

        It would be good too, in this ‘Crossdressers’ Dictionary’ to have some kind of indication regarding which terms are acceptable and which are likely to cause offence. In most cases it’s probably blindingly obvious, but even so it would be helpful. And perhaps a bit about the history of each word or abbreviation … it could easily turn into small book if you weren’t careful!

        Maybe, if someone were to put it together, it could sent out as a pdf document whenever someone new joined the site?

        Anyway … there’s something for the editors to think about!

        Hugs

        Ellie x

        • #753271
          Tamiya
          Lady

          I think maybe even something like a wiki on the CDH site. As with all wikis, they have to be maintained and moderated, but isn’t this site already doing that to some degree? This way if there is a new term or abbreviation, it can be added or modified accordingly. Thanks for sharing.

          Best,

          Tamiya

          • #753278
            Harriette
            Lady

            I think CDH is a WordPress site. I am not sure if WP offers a wiki, but maybe it does.

        • #753277
          Harriette
          Lady

          You are repeating some of my thoughts, too, Ellie. CDH needs some organisation of the information here and there needs to be some form of welcoming package of it, for new members.

          I used to maintain such a list of information links on another large site regarding a different subject, so I can advise or mentor someone willing and able to do this here.

      • #753276
        Harriette
        Lady

        There is so much useful information buried in CDH, but it would take elevated user rights to be able to maintain such things as lists, probably an Ambassador.

    • #753387
      Harriette
      Lady

      This sort of fits here, so here goes.

      A few days ago, I was in an on-line chat lobby and somebody quipped with the expression, …blow that up your skirt…”.

      Boys, if only you knew what I was wearing!

      • #762787
        Anonymous

        On a work conference call someone mentioned not getting “your knickers in a knot”, I replied with “mine are very comfortable thanks”. They thought it was a metaphor, if only they knew 😊

        Ps mine were comfy but my heels were bugging me 🤣

    • #762735
      Ellie Davis
      Ambassador

      Okay, this is NOT an established term but it SHOULD be.

      I’m definitely going to start using it.

      Hannah McKnight (I can’t advertise her site directly here but it’s very easy to find, and many of you will already subscribe) recently came up with the wonderful phrase ‘Pink Flag’. I was so taken with it that I contacted Hannah and asked if I could publicise it more widely.

      In Hannah’s words:

      ‘We all know what red flags are. Big or small, subtle or obvious, basically a sign that something or someone is a BAD idea.

      ‘Green flags, obviously, are the opposite of that.

      ‘So, let’s talk about pink flags.

      ‘You probably don’t know what a pink flag is because I just made it up.’

      A ‘Pink Flag’ is an inadvertent ‘tell’ that we’re a crossdresser. It isn’t something that immediately outs us, as a flash of panties or a bra strap might do. Rather, it might be that someone registers that you have smooth, hairless arms or legs; that someone once bumped into you, on your own, in the lingerie section of a department store; that someone makes a quickly-forgotten mental note regarding how well-kept your nails are. Individually, each of these observations raises a momentary interest but no more than that.

      However, if and when we come out to one of these people, the Pink Flags all get recalled and begin to make sense. Then, folks begin to string the individual flags together into a line of bunting and say ‘Oh … yes. NOW I understand’.

      Because of this, we have to be careful how many Pink Flags we reveal. Otherwise, people will start to join the dots on their own. Hannah has given me permission to quote a couple of her examples:

      ‘Although I don’t feel that I give off any loud or even subtle signals that I am more than I appear to be when I am in male mode, I am not surprised when someone says that something makes a little more sense in retrospect when I come out to them.

      ‘This is what I mean by a pink flag.

      ‘In the example of my sister bumping into me in the women’s department, that was a pretty big pink flag. But not every flag is so obvious. Truth be told, it’s sometimes difficult to not say something when that something is a little … well, it falls into the “how did you know that?” category.

      ‘What I mean is that if a girl mentions that her lipstick keeps fading I have to bite my tongue from suggesting that she use an eyeshadow primer on her lips before applying her lipstick, as the primer keeps her lipstick brighter and longer-lasting. Since most people assume I am a cisgender male, this little piece of advice isn’t something most cisgender men probably know.

      ‘I also find myself biting my tongue when I see someone wearing a cute dress. I have to restrain myself from asking where they got it’.

      So, there we are. Pink Flags. Definitely a part of my vocabulary from now on!

      Hugs

      Ellie x

      PS. And yes … isn’t that a great tip about the eyeshadow primer?

      • #762758

        Or biting your tongue to prevent yourself from telling someone (maybe even someone you know), “I have that skirt/dress too.”

        • #762853
          Ellie Davis
          Ambassador

          Hmmm …I think that one would DEFINITELY go beyond the definition of ‘Pink Flag’.

          Hugs

          Ellie x

        • #763548
          Samantha R
          Duchess

          Allison-
          I know, I’m on a business trip this week, and i saw a woman wearing a dress I have and I almost blurted out “I have that Dress” to my collogues. I just chuckled to myself.

          • #763567
            Anonymous

            I would love to.say that as well. I have seen girls wearing the same dress I have.

      • #762789
        Anonymous

        I wouldn’t worry too much about unintentionally getting it wrong. You’ll soon be corrected on some sites or groups I’m sure.

        One of the reasons I see it that way is so many terms and definitions in this day and age are made up or evolved within a close group so how can we possibly be expected to know and comprehend them all. I had one individual arguing that as Shakespeare had made up new words or grammatical layout which had been gradually accepted into English they would too. Soon shut ups when I pointed out that Shakespeare had clearly been more intelligent than them.

        Quora demonstrates that mentality abley where there’s page upon page of people arguing the difference of Transvestite vs Crossdresser.  Quite sad really.

        Just say what you do with a smile lol 😊 xx

        • #762852
          Ellie Davis
          Ambassador

          Hi Kay

          I put up the original post on July 3rd, a few days after joining. At the time I was very uncertain about everything, and had never communicated with anyone else ‘like me’.

          I think/hope I’ve come on in leaps and bounds since then, and now probably over-communicate 😛

          I added the ‘Pink Flag’ thing to my original post, and of course that’s reactivated it and got people replying all over again.

          Schoolgirl error … in retrospect, I should have just started a new post entirely!

          Hugs

          Ellie x

      • #763565
        Anonymous

        Yes, I would love to tell a women her dress is so cute or tell a women how much I like what she with her eyes. It would come off strange in guy mode to say something like that to a women. I am not sure if a women notices my long nails or that I shave the hair on my hands. So yes pink flags sounds like an appropriate term.

        • #763860
          Harriette
          Lady

          When I was in the hospital, recently, a woman came in my room to visit another patient. She was wearing a light Sunday-going-to-church dress. At some point, I caught her eye and asked her to come over to my bed. Then I told her that her dress was nice. By the look of her husband, I doubted that he had told her that for a few years.

      • #763615

        Hi Ladies,

        I’m blessed that I am openly gay and that means that I have a ‘special position’ among my female colleagues. I can very easily tell them when they wear a cute dress or have beatutiful nails. I have even told some female colleagues that I “sometimes fill in as a drag queen when a friend asks me” (I really do have a friend that profesionally organizes drag queen shows) and I told my closest colleague that I am a crossdresser. So these girls are not surprised when I join a conversation about gel coated nails… they like it.

        Complementing on clothes is still a risky business though. I almost always refrain from doing it publically. #MeToo has had profound effects in my country and we’ve had quite a number of huge scandals finally come to light. So “how a man and woman should interact” has become somewhat confusing, especially when – like me – you are considered one of the girls, while your other male colleagues clearly are not 😉
        [Edit: I realise that complementing on shoes is quite easy and mostly not considered dangerous in #MeToo context. It is a serious pink flag though, because cis-gender men hardly ever say anything about shoes.]

        • #763970

          Hi Girls,

          I do like Frédérique’s observation on fashion discussions with women, especially in context of #me too…which absent the context of the very real concerns of the movement, is perhaps an ironic # in terms of the crossdresser that is biting their tongue off not to say “…I love your dress – wish it would look that good on me too👗!!!”

          Kim

           

          • #764017
            Ellie Davis
            Ambassador

            Yes …

            1). Telling a woman that you like her dress = potential (but not overwhelmingly so) pink flag.

            2). Asking where she got it = obvious pink flag.

            3). Saying ‘That dress would look good on me’ = leaving pink flag territory altogether.

            Perhaps, like lipstick, flags come in different shades of pink … from baby pink flags through to full on Barbie.

            Hugs

            Ellie x

      • #763688

        Ellie,

        Thank you for sharing the “pink flag” info…as I read it I realized how many of the flags I’ve put out…for about three years I kept my legs clean shaven (no one seemed to notice)…when work went from “business casual” to “casual” I started wearing femme skinny jeans to work (on one elevator ride a woman did comment “…those jeans are tight…”)… lipstick stains on cups at work too…which probably explains why another co worker out of the blue asked if I had gone to the companies “Pride Day” one year…

        oh well, it just feels right!

        Thank you for the Hannah McKnight web site – found it.

        Kim

        • #763956
          Ellie Davis
          Ambassador

          Hey Kim

          Isn’t ‘Pink Flags’ a great term?

          I’m leaving a trail of pink flags behind me wherever I go at the moment. Shaved legs and arms (‘Oh, yeah, well it was making it hard to put sun cream on so I thought … why not?’), clear nail varnish (‘That? … it’s nail hardener because my nails kept splitting’), growing my hair out (‘Well, I’ve been cutting it myself since the first lockdown, which is why it’s been so short these last few years … I just fancied a change’).

          But that’s the very definition of pink flags. People don’t twig their meaning until AFTER they discover that there’s more to you than they thought!

          And, as you say … ‘it just feels right!’

          Hugs

          Ellie x

          • #766311

            I would love to wear some kind of Pink Flag jewelry all the time. Maybe a charm on a chain around my neck….hmmmmm……

          • #766352
            Ellie Davis
            Ambassador

            Lauren – I’m intrigued.

            Are you thinking of something VERY ‘Pink Flag’ (full, in-your-face bubble gum pink) or a very subtle thing that leaves people guessing?

            You’ve got me wondering …

            a). what choice of charm would set off every klaxon in someone’s head?, and

            b). what would just make them briefly think ‘Oh … now THAT’S interesting’ before getting distracted by a sunbeam and wandering off?

            This could spawn a whole new sub-thread.

            Hugs

            Ellie x

          • #766551

             

             

            I’m just thinking something along the lines of subtle that people in our community would recognize so we can identify each other out in the wild.   I guess that it would also signify someone who would be open to be approached.

            Probably needs a lot more thought before it could actually be viable…..

          • #766604
            Ellie Davis
            Ambassador

            Firstly, I love the idea of us being ‘out in the wild’ 🙂

            We’re PART of that damn ecosystem … let’s claim it!

            Secondly, I’m still loving the idea of this hidden signal.

            *Ellie and Lauren sit thoughtfully on their respective sides of the Atlantic Ocean, wondering what form this ‘subtle charm’ would take*

    • #762749

      Hi Girls,

      Thank you Ellie for this wonderful, entertaining and informative post!

      So happy I came back to CDH!

      Kimberly Anne

      • #763935
        Ellie Davis
        Ambassador

        Thanks Kim

        *Laughs* I live to inform and entertain! 🙂

        *Realises too late that people will hold me to this. On this basis, makes mental note to try and be super-informative and mega-entertaining in future*.

        Kim … we’re ALL happy that you came back to CDH !

        I’m really glad that people liked the thread – I actually find it fascinating that cultural groups develop their own languages like this. It helps to bind us together, and of course separates us from those ‘not in the know’. I guess that’s a bit of a double-edge sword…

        Hugs

        Ellie x

    • #762888

      Simply put just treat and greet everyone as a woman. Love calling one another Sis, girlfriend, Sweetie etc. After all we are women and love being treated and addressed that way. Dont think crossdresser but hey girl using our fem names and pronouns. No magic to it

    • #763560
      Anonymous

      Yes Ellie, I like being called girl or better yet girlfriend. I am not sure what all the terminology is. Especially in chat. I am fine with speaking like a women. I have read a lot of your comment other girls and you are such a sweetheart.

      • #763932
        Ellie Davis
        Ambassador

        Hi Julie

        It’s two months now since I started this thread. Not really knowing what I was doing (story of my life) but trying to be neat and tidy, I went back to it and added in Hannah McKnight’s wonderful ‘Pink Flag’ phrase. Of course that reactivated the whole thing, which honestly WAS NOT the intention *note to self, next time, Ellie, just start a new post to avoid mayhem*

        In terms of the thread as a whole, I was really pleased with how it took off. I learnt a lot in a very short time, which was very much the point, but of course the new vocabulary that I gained was never going to be comprehensive. I’m still finding out new words and phrases all the time, especially from sites such as Hannah’s. The most baffling are the abbreviations and acronyms!

        Thanks for calling me a sweetheart … that makes you one too 🙂

        Hugs

        Ellie x

        • #764233
          Anonymous

          You are definitely a very sweet women. I love your story about telling your mother and sister.

          • #764327
            Ellie Davis
            Ambassador

            Thanks Julie

            I’m hoping that there will eventually be a Part 3 (maybe my adventures with Tracey in the Boxing Day sales?) so stay seated.

            If anything else happens on Planet Ellie in the meantime, I’ll be sure to share it!

            Hugs

            Ellie x

          • #764450
            Anonymous

            Ellie, I always love reading what you have written. Looking forward to hearing from you.

             

            Hugs. Julie X

        • #766336
          Frenlee
          Duchess

          I definitely  like  girlfriend  , baby,  sweetheart,   lady  , I definitely  don’t  want  pal mate,  chum  , eg.  Thanks Ellie            Frenlee,  (Sophie)v

          • #766349
            Ellie Davis
            Ambassador

            *Makes a careful note of what terms to avoid in future chats with Sophie*

            Having someone call me ‘baby’ would be a first. I’m not sure how I’d feel about it, to be honest! Am I anyone’s baby? No. Do I want to be? I don’t think so 🙁

            ‘Babe’ though … perhaps 🙂

            ‘Sweetheart’ is good … and I also like ‘Hello lovely’ (Lucy Bancroft, I’m looking at YOU as I write this).

            Hugs

            Ellie x

    • #763604

      Hey Girlfriend,

      I personally find no issue with “Hey Girls”, “Hi Girls”, “Hey Girlfriend”, etc etc.  In my mind, when I’m here, I am here as Sophie (my female alter-ego).  I welcome you to address me as a female.

      If you must use a greeting that is guaranteed not to rub any feathers, “Hi Everyone” works but in my opinion is pretty boring.

      My personal favorite for addressing a group here is “Hi/Hey Ladies”.  I like to think that carries a little more sophistication than “Hi/Hey Girls”.  We’re like a big family here and I’m not that picky anyhow.  Call me anything but late for dinner…LOL.

      Sophie

      • #763729
        Ellie Davis
        Ambassador

        Hi Sophia

        After a couple of months here I’ve tended to gravitate towards a cheery ‘Hey Girls’ … but then I never WAS sophisticated 😛

        Hugs

        Ellie x

    • #763965

      I enjoy being called lady, girlfriend, girl, or any other word that denotes I’m being recognized as a member of the fairer sex.  I CD so I can feel my softer side.  Being called “dude” doesn’t do that for me.  Any feminine greeting is fine with me.

      • #764131
        Ellie Davis
        Ambassador

        Hey girl

        ‘Dude’?
        ‘Bro’?

        I feel your pain.

        *shudders*

        Ellie x

    • #766271

      I feel comfortable being called girl, girlfriend or sister, as long as it is female I am happy.

      • #766347
        Ellie Davis
        Ambassador

        I’m with you there Lucy … I’m still loving it every time anyone calls me any of those things. It makes me happy every time I see it 🙂

        Ellie x

    • #766363

      On the whole I have always hated being called things like pal, mate or more recently bor. Here I think we all enjoy any name or pronoun that denotes femininity, apart from the s****y word, which gets my hackles up!

      We lean towards the feminine, in writings too I have noticed, the tone is always more genteel, the use of “hugs” as a good bye instead of say “cheers” for example.

      So how does it go now…..I have a LBD with an OBG and RHT stockings. A pair of louboos to finish it off…. still a MIAD though, or maybe no one would see that I was AMAB!

      XOXO

      Helen

       

      • #766364
        Ellie Davis
        Ambassador

        Helen, you just had to throw in something that I didn’t know, didn’t you?

        RHT?

        Retractable Hard Top?

        Right Hand Thread?

        Radiant Heat Temperature?

        It also turns out to be the SCUBA diving fish recognition code for the Atlantic Sharpnose Shark, though I can’t for the life of me see why. Surely that should be ASS?

        Anyway, none of these seemed strictly applicable to stockings 🙁

        Fortunately I then stumbled on ‘Reinforced Heel and Toe’, so I’m guessing that’s the correct option.

        Thank you for educating me.

        ‘Hugs’, but definitely not ‘Cheers’ (unless you’re holding a glass ATM).

        Ellie x

        • This reply was modified 9 months ago by Ellie Davis. Reason: You know what? I just fancied a good edit
        • #766368

          Ellie…… Reinforced Heel & Toe correct

           

          Helen x

          • #766379
            Ellie Davis
            Ambassador

            I’m especially glad that they WEREN’T right hand thread stockings.

            I was struggling to think how you’d screw them onto your legs.

            Ellie x

      • #766380

        Hi Helen,

        Funny I keep thinking about s***y… while I understand “painting” all M2F CD/TG ‘s with  that as a label is likely intended in a pejorative context, I can also appreciate in some cases this may be their “thing” and perhaps not received as a negative?  Not trying to “…stir any trouble…”; I’m just trying to discern there may be situations where the s***y characterization isn’t as offensive?

        Thanks and again I’m not trying to be a troublemaker!!

        Kim

    • #766401
      Harriette
      Lady

      Just curious… I am to naïve to know.

      Do GGs actually call each other “girlfriend”, say, in the same way guys call friends “buddy”? Not that I approve of being called buddy. Just curious…

      • #766569
        Karla Rogers
        Duchess

        Yes they do.  I’ve heard many times “Me and my girlfriend…” or “A girlfriend of mine…”.

        As far as buddy, I have referred to male friends as buddy and even been introduced as a buddy by a male friend.

        Here in the south, you might even hear the phrase of “‘ole boy”, such as “This ‘ole boy I know…”

        • #766755
          Harriette
          Lady

          To me, your examples aren’t the same as how I see girlfriend used here as a greeting. I have never heard a woman use the word in that way before.

          • #766820
            Ellie Davis
            Ambassador

            Hey Harriette

            Here in the UK I’ve definitely heard ‘Hey girlfriend’ used as a greeting, one girl to another. It’s always been teenaged girls saying it though, and it’s usually delivered in a mock American accent … so I’ve always assumed that it’s a reference to a TV show rather than something that they would normally say.

            ‘Hey girl’, on the other hand, is pretty common.

            Ellie x

          • #767213
            Harriette
            Lady

            Maybe it’s an across the pond thing. Hey girl sounds more, uh, natural, to me.

            Thanks for the added info.

    • #766751
      Anonymous

      I have found that I like being called by feminine pronouns. It’s like a validation of my female side.

      • #767114
        Ellie Davis
        Ambassador

        For me, that’s something that’s never going to get old.

        Ellie x

    • #767207

      Learning the 2 Languages – English English and American English :
      It’s right to say that here in Britain, we call what you, our US cousins, call panty-hose, ‘tights’. If you ask as to what we call what you call tights, the rather confusing answer is : ‘tights’. It’s up to the listener or reader to judge as to whether the speaker or writer is referring to what you would call panty-hose or what you would call tights. It will usually be panty-hose. What you call tights might sometimes be called dance tights to make it clear as to what is being referred to but this would only be occasionally be the case.
      There are quite a lot of transatlantic differences in terminology of course. Some which are found with regard to what we wear are:
      Ladies Shoes: In Britain ‘pumps’ are gym shoes, worn by both men and women. What you call ‘pumps’ have traditionally been called ‘court shoes’ in Britain but that is a term falling out of use and shoes with heels are now usually simply referred to as ‘heels’.
      ‘Hose’ is a term rarely used in speech in Britain but ‘Hosiery’ is sometimes used on signage in stores and in catalogues.
      Ladies stockings are held up by wearing a suspender belt not, as you would say, a garter belt, with suspenders clipped onto the stocking. Garters are individual elasticated and usually highly decorative bands worn on one leg, ostensibly to hold up the stocking but, actually, purely for decorative adornment. A very different type of garter used to be worn by men just below the knee to keep their socks up – a practice which finally died out here in about the early 1950s.
      Women and girls in Britain rarely refer to wearing ‘panties’, though may occasionally refer to them as ‘pants’. They are referred to as a panty in the context of ‘panty liners’ but otherwise girls and women refer to them as their ‘knickers’. Unlike in the US, where I understand that men and boys are just as or more likely to wear what you would call knickers, here in Britain the term ‘knickers’ can have the same implicit erotic undertone as ‘panties’ may have with you. Only in certain parts of northern England are men’s underpants still occasionally called ‘knickers’ in common parlance.
      So British women and girls are most likely to refer to their panties as their knickers, but they are sold as ‘briefs’, a term the wearers may occasionally use.
      As to underwear generally, I notice that women in the US sometimes refer to ladies underwear as ‘lahngeray’. In Britain, it’s pronounced ‘lawngeree’. Both pronunciations are wrong – it’s ‘lahngeree’.
      I find these differences fascinating. I hope others do.
      With my best wishes,
      Celeste

      • #767294
        Ellie Davis
        Ambassador

        Hi Celeste

        Just so you know, I’m not one of your US cousins (unless Norfolk is the 51st state).

        Wearing knickers and a suspender belt right now …

        Hugs

        Ellie x

        • #767441

          Hi Ellie,

          I knew that you’re in Norfolk, Hun., but I thought my message might help others, from both sides of The Pond, who might get confused.

          Wearing stockings and suzzies feels so much better than hot, itchy tights do, doesn’t it? As you have mentioned it, may I be so intrusive as to ask : Are you a “knickers over suzzies” or “knickers under suzzies” girl?

          Hugs,

          Celeste x

          • #767444
            Chrissie Smith
            Baroness

            I question I have wondered about often! xx

          • #767448
            Harriette
            Lady

            Knickers over suspenders allows easier toilet usage.

          • #767503
            Ellie Davis
            Ambassador

            Oh … that’s the eternal question 🙂

            I’m a knickers-under, sussies-over kind of girl. That’s despite the lack of practicality in terms of what Harriette has so poetically termed ‘toilet usage’.

            Hugs

            Ellie x

      • #767341

        In another thread I described that I am often wearing compression stockings. Because they kept slipping down my upper thigh, I bought a belt to hold them up. The tops of the stockings are very thick and can’t be held up by the traditional women’s suspender or garter belt clips. To describe the clips and not confuse anyone on either side of “the pond,” I said the grip was more like that of a fireman’s suspender.

        Also, in the US we tend to use the terms sheer or semi-opaque to describe pantyhose, and tights are always opaque (and often of a different knit – they are less likely to run if there a hole forms). In English English you measure the sheerness to opaqueness by denier. (In the US, denier is more likely to come from the root word deny – denyier.)

        • #767896
          Ellie Davis
          Ambassador

          Hi Alison

          I remember reading a whole separate thread on the whole tights/pantyhose thing. Yet another example of two nations separated by a common language 🙂

          Hugs

          Ellie

    • #767442
      Anonymous

      Hi Ellie. I enjoy being called either. Really being called by just about any feminine word (she, her, ma’am, lady, etc) is a rush.

      • #767672
        Ellie Davis
        Ambassador

        That was something I’d never experienced before joining CDH. The first time someone replied to one of my posts and said ‘Hey girl’, I felt a genuine flush of pleasure.

        I’m a lot more used to it now … but it still feels wonderful every time 🙂

        Hugs

        Ellie x

    • #767516
      Julie
      Lady

      First hi girlfriend! Now Ellie you are not wrong. Typically if you identify as a woman. Lady, girl and girlfriend are names you use to address the woman. So you are using the right terms. I use those terms myself. Other people use them for me as well. At the end of the day I identify as a woman so I’ll take all the female names and pronouns.

      • #767694
        Ellie Davis
        Ambassador

        I especially enjoy being greeted with a cheery ‘Hey girl’ … and after a few months on here now I’m using ‘Hi girlfriend’, ‘Hey girls’ and ‘Hello ladies’ as if I was born to it.

        Loving every second 🙂

        Hugs

        Ellie x

    • #770000
      Rebecca Lewis
      Baroness - Annual

      Hi Everyone,

      Well, I have certainly learnt a lot from this forum! Thanks, Ellie, for starting the forum. Despite repeated Google searches I never found the meaning of OBG – thanks to Chrissie for that one.

      I have had a couple of other phrases going through my mind in the last few days. They are completely ‘unofficial’, but they might be appreciated by those with a knowledge of UK TV channels:

      BBC – Boring Boy Clothes

      ITV – Interesting Trans Vestments (I’m sure someone can come up with a MUCH better phrase than that)

      Rebecca x

       

       

      • #770220
        Ellie Davis
        Ambassador

        Hey Rebecca

        I think I might steal ‘BBC’. Love it!

        My brain is now on fire thinking of familiar abbreviations that could be used as secret code.

        I was just about to go to bed, but now I won’t be able to sleep.

        Thanks for that.

        Hugs

        Ellie x

    • #770623

      When saying Hi to a group that is mixed I like to use the term “Folks”. It’s not gendered and conveys the sense of informality that is me. As a woman, I enjoy being called girlfriend, sister or any other term with female connotations.

      • #771045
        Ellie Davis
        Ambassador

        Hey Lauren

        I work in a girls’ school, and we have to be careful now (quite rightly, in my opinion) not to address classes as ‘Girls’ or ‘Ladies’ in case there are individuals in the room who don’t identify as such. ‘Folks’, as you suggest, is a perfectly acceptable, non-gendered greeting 🙂

        There used to be a History teacher on the staff who had ALWAYS referred to everyone as ‘Chaps’ throughout her long and illustrious career, regardless of whether she was working in a boys’ school, a girls’ school or a mixed environment. She got away with it because it was expected of her; girls who identified as male appreciated it, while everyone else found it funny 🙂

        Hugs

        Ellie x

        • #771073
          Harriette
          Lady

          There is always that one in a crowd, right? 🙂

        • #771082

          Then there’s the line from Kinky Boots:  “Ladies! Gentlemen! And those who have yet to make up their minds!”

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