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Friends and colleagues – How many of you are working on your feminine voice? I certainly have been. I’m interested in finding out what you are doing to create an effective feminine sounding voice to enhance your overall presentation while out and about. We’ve all seen the You Tube videos, but I have found them long on the theory behind what it is you are doing but less so on actually doing it. So, beyond the obvious “practice, practice, practice” answer, specifically what are you doing and what are you working on when you practice? Vocal range? Vocal placement? Pitch? Projection? Tonal properties? – things like that.
Let’s discuss.
This is a sore spot for me. No matter how good I look, my voice is a dead giveaway. I signed up for one of Kathe Perez’s voice courses, but can never find the time to practice. I’ve been stuck on the first lesson for months. Ugh!
Transitioning is hard. So many things to do. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything!
Voice – The nemesis! That statement sounds like a disaster movie and often can be.
In my early days of going out I never wanted to speak at all apart from the odd thank you or very short response. That all had to change as I got out more, especially alone. I found that softening my voice by adapting breathing helped a lot. I always asked my friends what they thought and it was pointed out that I had a softer male voice anyway and my appearance was good. If what the viewer sees appears female then, even with masculine overtones in the voice, the person would believe it, and so it has been. The phone is the difficulty and I will always say my name and the rest follows as if I am female. On the odd occasion the handler may address you as the name but slip up somewhere, usually at the end of the call when they will mis gender. That’s okay as it isn’t often. and I once heard the handler say’S**T’ just after saying ‘Thank you Sir’ as the call ended. Probably realised what they said and what my reaction to the inevitable customer comment survey would bring when asked about the call handler! It happens and no harm done.
You could record your voice and different tones you use but friends are the best judges. If you are lucky to have knowing friends or others then ask them.
The voice, like posture, deportment and how feminine you appear are part of the whole. It is probably more important to get the ‘look’ right and just tweak the voice as best you can so going out is more comfortable. Those that are alone and wanting to get out then take those tentative steps in locations where you don’t have to speak and gradually work your way up. I went from that to where I am today which involves a lot of talk without the listener recoiling in horror!
I’m sorry to be the one who, again says, practice, practice, practice! I am not a newcomer to being a transgender person, I’ve known from early childhood. So when I was dressed, as myself, I would try to talk with my own feminine voice. Over those years I would talk to myself using Lauren’s voice, so I’ve accumulated more than a few hours of practice. I’ve learned how to keep my larynx or voice box high in my throat. When you’re speaking and moving up and down in pitch you can see and feel your Adam’s apple move up and down – you want to learn how to keep it up as high as you can. Men speak from their chest, women speak from their throats. I’ve learned how to keep my tongue close to the back of my front teeth like you’re saying the letter T, this helps you enunciate more clearly and definitely sounds more feminine. You also want pay attention and listen to how women speak as it is a lot different than “guy talk”. Try to avoid speaking in falsetto, it sounds horrible and is very theatrical. As you listen to women speak on videos, try to imitate what you’re hearing.
I hope this is helpful, I now speak in an acceptable female voice all the time, so I’m always “practicing”. I no longer get misgendered, even on the phone. There are other videos other than Kathe Perez that you can listen to, and many have some valuable information, but if you’re serious about developing a feminine voice, you will not get there without some time spent practicing you pretty voice.Hugs girls,
Ms. Lauren M.
My everyday voice is not deep, and when presenting as a woman I basically change the resonance to come from my throat and not from my chest.
It is good enough. Could be better, but in all reality, I’m not ever transitioning so for my limited chances to dress I keep what I have.If curious…
Disclaimer: I haven’t been working on it *that* much, but two things, well really three. Most critical is projection, I find it helpful not to force your voice, but rather to just let it lilt at whatever volume it may happen to gravitate toward. The second is tone; again, you want to use a softer, gentler tone. Don’t try to force a falsetto; remember many GGs have fairly low voices, it’s all in how they use it. Last thing would be how you hold your vocal chords. A trick that’s really helped me is to just hold your adam’s apple higher to shorten the chords, you’ll find yourself speaking in a higher pitch without even trying, at least until you relax those muscles and let it fall again. I guess I could add a fourth: inflection. In many cases women emphasize different words, or parts of words, or parts of sentences. The stereotypical example is the tendency to go up in pitch at the end of a sentence, making it sound sort of like a question. Basic acting theory is this makes you sound less dominant, which many read as more feminine. Compare that to going lower in pitch as the sentence ends, which sounds like a judgment or proclamation. Again, speaking in very broad strokes here but it may help to adopt the type of voice you want to have. Hope this helps!
“A trick that’s really helped me is to just hold your adam’s apple higher to shorten the chords, you’ll find yourself speaking in a higher pitch without even trying, at least until you relax those muscles and let it fall again. I guess I could add a fourth: inflection. In many cases women emphasize different words, or parts of words, or parts of sentences. The stereotypical example is the tendency to go up in pitch at the end of a sentence, making it sound sort of like a question.”
Hi Val’Sheril, Yes, what you say is so true, and some of the pointers I suggest to those trying to learn how to speak with a feminine voice. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Hugs,
Ms. Lauren M
Here’s what I have found so far. As one who has enjoyed singing over the years, vocal modulation is something I am accustomed to, even if difficult to explain. I’m a tenor, and in my younger days a tenor I at that, so getting the proper pitch is not too much of a stretch. Still, my speaking voice is more of a baritone and does not sound feminine at all, so it requires some specific adjustments. I’m trying to speak in my upper register, it almost feels like I am speaking in the upper part of my throat if you can imagine that. I have been recording myself speaking, and listening back attempting to make improvements. Many of you have written that you are trying to speak more gently and softly, but I find speaking with projection in mind helps the clarity – too soft and breathy to my ear can sound like a bad Marylin Monroe imitation. After all of that is accomplished you’ve got to remember to do it in all situations when en femme. I’m finding I can get it to work in short bursts, but still need more work before I will be able to carry on a conversation, which is what I would like to be able to do.
“I’m a tenor, and in my younger days a tenor I at that, so getting the proper pitch is not too much of a stretch. Still, my speaking voice is more of a baritone and does not sound feminine at all, so it requires some specific adjustments. I’m trying to speak in my upper register, it almost feels like I am speaking in the upper part of my throat if you can imagine that.”
Hi Kris, I have sung in choirs for years, and am considered a counter tenor, where I can actually sing an alto part. And yes!! You want to keep your voice in the upper part of your throat. Speak from there, not you chest. 🙂
I had a female choir director, who recognized where my vocal range actually was, show me how to sing in the counter tenor range. You literally learn to raise and keep your voice box in the upper throat. I’m now so used to speaking that way every day that I have to try to remember how to speak in my old boy voice.Hugs,
Ms. Lauren M
My experience has to do with stage dialects. In learning those we talk about a dialect’s “lilt”, its particular musicality to the ear. I don’t know about those advice videos but my advice is to work on inflection and cadence more than tone. Some of the imagery shared, e.g. soft and sweet, indicates those things. In my head Wanda’s voice combines the lilt, inflection, and cadence of the woman I believe her to be based on women I’ve observed. I think those things bring verisimilitude to your womanly voice.
I was working on my voice and thought I was getting somewhere until I started mentoring. I then discovered that talking as Gabby for 40mins plus was really difficult: particularly when emotion came into it: I’d drop right back into my chest voice. So it’s back to more practice, and perhaps reminding myself to stick to brief, simple discussion to start with!
Hugs, Gabby
I have found that talking in a “singing voice” works for me. It sounds simplistic but that’s how I’ve done it. I hope that helps a little. Marg
That’s what I’ve found Tommie and Marg – speak in your high register, as if you were singing, but speak instead. Not falsetto, just your regular high register – I think the vocal teachers would call it head voice . Takes stamina to stay up there though, so I’m hardly conversant, but trying.
I think it’s important to mention the practice component at this point, as it is often misunderstood. How do you practice, and what are you practicing? Are you just doing the same things over and over, essentially practicing errors? Having a goal in mind as you practice is essential – are you trying to develop pitch? Projection? Articulation? resonance? In teaching music to folks, so often they will do the same things over and over, expecting to improve, but in fact they might be just practicing what they are doing wrong…so the development of good practice habits is essential component in having success at this not at all easy pursuit.
Thank you for this topic…. Becoming even barely feminine in manner and appearance is a huge challenge for me, as it is for many I am sure. I am 6’4”, walk like John Wayne and am about as feminine so I begin with a long way to go. And, I have a voice that has been described as very much like Barry White! I have desired to work on my voice but so far to go! Thank you for this topic and the encouragement! Kiss Kiss Meg
Hi Kris,
I have been using the EVA voice training course for years. Of course there is theory underlying each step in the course, but it is very much based in practice, practice, practice. As a general rule I suppose I adopt a tone perhaps a half step above my male voice. I am fortunate to have a fairly wide vocal range, so its not difficult for me.
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