How many of us have tried living our feminine side or ideal vicariously thru our wife or girlfriend?

Ah, well... What say you?

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    • #378089
      Kristin Danvers
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      I used to buy my wife shoes that I loved but she would never wear. The few times that she did wear them, she got a ton of compliments which made me feel great. But, she prefers to buy her shoes from REI. Not really a girly girl.

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    • #378073
      Debbie J
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      I’ve written about this elsewhere, but my first serious dressing was with my first wife. I was trying to convince her to try a threesome with another woman, and I thought that if she became used to making love with someone in lingerie in would help. Instead, I became used to wearing lingerie 🙂

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    • #378024
      Autumn Valiant
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      Hi Sammy!

      I voted no. Maybe a tiny bit though. Helping her pick out a dress at MACYs had a vicarious feeling to it but it was just the one time. Unfortunately she prefers online shopping where as I would take her to a brick and mortar shop at the drop of a hat.

      Hugs

      Autumn

       

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    • #377807
      patty williams
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      Hi Bettylou  this is off topic a bit but thank you for your service to our country.

      Airforce That is awesome.

      Patty

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    • #377797
      Seren
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      I answered yes. I guess I was so closeted I hadn’t even realised what I was doing….

      Seren ⭐️🔥

    • #377756
      Bettylou Cox
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      With 20/20 hindsight, I have to answer “yes”.  Bettylou was buried deep in my unconscious from early adulthood until well into my retirement.  But whenever the  Air Force would send me to some far-away place, I would make certain to go shopping for some pretty clothing or jewelry; first for my wife, then (when they were older) my two daughters.  These shopping expeditions were always the high point of these trips, and it was only recently, after Bettylou was fully developed and in control that I realized I had really been shopping by proxy for myself.

      And now, I’m making up for all that lost time.

      Hugs,

      Bettylou

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    • #377742
      Amy Myers
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      I answered no. I like what a previous poster said, I am my own woman, and have my own style. I certainly admire other women, for their natural beauty, and for the way they present themselves.

      At times I’ve wanted to ask one where she got the outfit, or whatever, but of course I don’t.

      Amy

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    • #377737
      Olivia Livin
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      I do through some of the ladies here and their antics but not really through the style or social presentation of my gf.

      Sam, I tried to look up your part 2 but didn’t come up with anything??? lol

      Liv

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    • #377726
      patty williams
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      This post has been on here a whileI missed it.

      I think before I really knew who I was I tried living through my wife by Buying her sexy cloths and lingerie I believe I wanted to wear.

      She would humor me on most purchases once to make her hubby happy and that was the last I would see of it.

      she is not much of a girly girl either.

      Now I do live vicariously as Val said through other women,I so love the individual creativeness of women and I love to study their looks.

      Patty

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    • #377691
      Molly
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      While my wife now knows and it’s not yet evident how successful that will be, (Her knowing, I think it could go either way), I have at times in the past tried to have her experiment with feminine things for me.

      Needless to say, since I wasn’t being too honest with either of us/or aware of why I wanted to suggest these things, it was often a mixed success.  (How do you reconcile feelings of envy when you don’t want to admit that you wish it were you?)

      Now that we’re both aware of why and the mechanics… Well…    She would balk at anything that remotely smacks of something that she perceives as something I’d wish I was doing, and anything where I was more feminine that her would be immediately off-putting.  I suspect that once a CD admits to wanting it, then the vicariously living through them becomes more difficult as emotions are too close to the surface, but it’s incompatible with your SO knowing about your CD desires.

      Or maybe I’m just a clutz on how I handled the individual moments.   I’ll never know now.

      -Molly

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    • #377689
      Kay Anderson
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      I voted no. I am my own woman and unique. If I was born female, I would be living my life much differently than anyone I ever dated or my wife.

      Kay

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    • #377629
      Ginger Johnson
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      I tried to have my wife dress like I wanted to, and for a time she tolerated it. Wore pantyhose all the time and the pretty dresses I bought for her (which also fit me 😉 ) but she was just not into it and eventually I just stopped bothering with it.

      Well that is when I started buying my own pantyhose, have bought some dresses, stockings, lingerie etc.

      And now I am toying with the idea of buying my first ever wig. I am 59 and been dressing on and off since I was 11.

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    • #174539
      Marianne
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      I have always trodden my own path. I came out to my wife after about two years of marriage.  She has been tolerant but not supportive or in any way wanting to be involved.

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    • #174497
      Anonymous
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      Every time I watch pro-football, I’m watching the cheerleaders on the sidelines, wishing so hard I could dress like they do and look so good !!  Don’t care much about the game !! Dallas Cheerleaders are the BEST to emulate !!!

      So, yes, I answered yes !!

      Mikki

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    • #174075
      Val’sheril Starsong
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      I’ve never had a particularly feminine gf, at least not feminine to Val standards, and never a wife.  This late in the game I probably never will.  But do I live vicariously through the women I see who dare to be beautiful?  All the time.  I’m honestly in somewhat constant fear that a woman will catch me admiring her dress or heels and think I’m ogling her.  It’s like, as a closeted CD how do you explain that away and *not* have egg on your face?

      • #174283
        Sa•man•tha
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        I feel you Val, totally.  Well, come to think of it I guess I did have a rather feminine gf one time but she was more interested in my wallet than in me.

        Now on checking the ladies.  Sometimes I get caught and when it happens I smile and say something along the lines of “you look very nice, I was just admiring your (insert item here as long as it’s not a body part)”  Always the lady will thank me and sometimes tell me about where she got her (insert item here) from.  Occasionally her male companion (if she has one) might require a stare down lol that’s the part I I regret!!

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    • #173648
      Emily
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      Never have I tried living vicariously through my wife. As a matter of fact, she apologizes to me when she does something she considers “girly” for herself, such as painting her toe nails. Her fear is that it will make my dressing desires even stronger. I have however, found myself looking at women in general and wishing I could dress the way they do, or even wondering how their outfit would look on me. So, had the question been about living vicariously through strangers, my response would have been completely different.

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    • #173642
      Anonymous
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      I definitely do.  I also do so when seeing random women like if they have a cute outfit or I admire their overall look.

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    • #149913
      Sa•man•tha
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      Hello ladies, just wanted to drop a thank you note to all who voted and / or replied!  Thank you!

      I wasn’t expecting any particular result but am really surprised the tallies have been consistently neck and neck

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    • #149594
      Falecia McGuire
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      I replied “yes” but I’m not sure that is completely accurate. My wife might say it is. 25 years ago, when I first came out to her, she kind of enjoyed it when we dressed up together. I was so excited and had so much fun sharing the look, that I overdid it. About half the time, when I beat her home from work, I’d dress up and ask her to join me. Victoria’s Secret was one of the first places I found that carried quality high heels in both sizes 11 and 5, our sizes. We had several variations that matched. After a while, I got better at achieving a feminine look and got really proficient at the high heel thing. She had not worn high heels often, because of difficulties in finding her size and her more casual style. After some time, she grew less comfortable wearing the heels when we went out because “she knew,” even though other did not, that I had a matching pair at home. I guess I’d say, the whole experience got over-sexualized and she was worried about us losing ourselves in “the game.” I don’t disagree. But, if I had it to do over again, I would slow down and let it be just a small part of our time together.
      FAM

    • #149418
      Dawn Jones
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      I said no. My wife is into the idea even helping me with friend suggestions but it’s me that a little scared to share too much too soon, do you know what I mean?

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    • #149332
      Gillian Blackwood
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      My Wife is not supportive at all. Which is sad, but also strange, since She is very much the Dominant force in our relationship, and i frequently take on the more traditional day-to-day feminine roles (cleaning, laundry, much of the cooking, grocery shopping, shuttling kids around, etc), and in the bedroom department, i am definitely not in charge at all.

      Despite my essentially being a rather traditional housewife, She will not entertain even the slightest notion of my dressing. But, she knows i have, and want to, dress. She even occasionally tells me things like, “yeah, if you hate having body hair go get waxed then, sure,” but when i recently mentioned shaving my armpits (i have very fine hair there, and they get tangled and pull uncomfortably!) She full-stop said no. This is not uncommon – She will casually mention that i should try something feminine, but if i mention wanting to do something that is considered feminine, even if its the thing She mentioned, i get shut down. As a general rule, i (happily!) live in a very feminine state of existence, just without the pretty clothing and makeup i desire so so much.  So maybe i’m not living vicariously as much as i am living a parallel life to femininity?

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      • #149375
        Anonymous
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        Sounds like she is a control freak. Mine was too. But when i got laid off from work SHE suggested i might like ot be the housewife. I admitted i would but only if i could dress the part and not hear her saying omg you arent wearing panties again. She agreed. Then said i guess we only need to give you a feminine name. S how about mr mom. I said now way its too masculine. If you want a title lets make it mrs mom or if a name call me julie. Ok then it wil be joooooolie.

         

        She ended up being a very butch like owman and we both loved it.

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      • #149360
        Anonymous
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        Sounds familiar to me Gillian. I empathise and with it the frustrations of hiding my thoughts. I do dress from time time in private away from Home. I hope you get some give and take…

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    • #149278
      Sa•man•tha
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      …I found that when I started going out with my wife (she was happy that I was “not like other men” at first)  she did provide a real dose of femininity that I was now missing…

      Aha, isn’t that how it starts?  I’ve had that experience also Jasmine and I like how you worded it!

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    • #149270
      Anonymous
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      I’ll say no on this bc I feel it’s my self discovery

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    • #149248
      Andrea
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      I did try and bury my thoughts of crossdressing and transitioning in my early 20s, and started to live as a male on my terms (basically making no effort to fit in, and generally flouting “male rules”).  I found that when I started going out with my wife (she was happy that I was “not like other men” at first)  she did provide a real dose of femininity that I was now missing.  Throw love into the mix and I felt I could cope with being the “man” of the relationship.  Looking back over those years I can see I failed rather badly at it.  When things went pear shaped and it was quite clear she needed a “real man” and not this ersatz man, I felt shut out and I turned back to crossdressing to get my feminine fix again.

      So I guess in some sense of your question: yes.

      I wonder what part II is?

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    • #149232
      Dame Veronica Graunwolf
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      I did not try to live my life behind my wife. I stepped out….proud and content with who I was, and lead the way. Perhaps a bit too proud for my wifes liking….as she is now my EX! I am woman and I will always be until eternity. Never be ashamed of yourself….support yourself and be proud. They are a whole boat load of others who will put you down if you give them a chance.

      As Frank sang……”I Did It MY Way!”

      Dame Veronica

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