Tagged: I am what I am
- September 8, 2020 at 12:45 pm #381975RosiebethParticipantRegistered On: October 3, 2019Topics: 11Replies: 142Has thanked: 500 timesBeen thanked: 933 times
I’ve been dealing with guilt with cross dressing. I buy dresses and then get rid of them due to guilt and then I buy dresses and get rid of them. It’s a vicious cycle but I do love being Rosiebeth. Any advice would be appreciated ladies.
- November 19, 2021 at 10:26 am #577749Araminta PurdyDuchessRegistered On: January 23, 2020Topics: 8Replies: 412Has thanked: 823 timesBeen thanked: 1604 times
The obvious advice is that given by cross-dressers to other cross-dressers for several decades now:
The real question is, why do you feel guilty? To me one should feel guilty for causing unnecessary harm. This does not mean feeling guilty for getting caught doing that harm. That just means that you would still do the bad thing if you were not to get caught. Now you might feel guilty about spending too much money on dresses instead of food or other necessities but throwing the dresses away does not exculpate you from that transgression.
Too many persons have no restraint about hurting others and enjoy doing so because it makes them feel powerful or important or otherwise assuages their massive fear of being weak or insignificant. Also, indiscreet people do like having their indiscretions pointed out and tend to gleefully lash out at those who do so or at anyone they feel justified in harming just to feel better.
There are, above, a couple of good comments on why we feel guilty and, generally, it seems that a sense of guilt is imposed by the censure of others and not created by any actual guilt. Those others justify the harm they do (and which they do not feel guilty about) through meaningless or inaccurate terminology. For example there is the mention of “female” clothing and “female’ is rightly placed in quotations. “Female” refers to one subdivision of a species as defined by their role in creating offspring. It could also be seen as a section of a species (hence ‘sex’). Clothing, shovels, tractors, chairs, etc. do not have offspring, do not mate and have no sex. This includes clothing. To refer to clothing as ‘female’ is ludicrous but very common. Clothing, however, can be feminine. Why is it that something so obvious seems so difficult to discern?
To me the basis of the problem is that males are so insecure that they need females to be essentially captives and their sexual rights to be so constrained that they cannot even be said to own their own bodies. Males have controlled language to meet their own purposes for millennia. This is why some activists have attempted to ‘degenderize’ language (something I do not agree with as genders exist, are useful and are a means of communication and self-expression).
Concepts such as males and females being ‘opposites’ or a polarity DO need to be done away with. Concepts such as gender and sex being equivalencies simply justifies taking the position that any male being feminine is ‘abnormal’, ‘pathological’, ‘unethical’, etc. Particularly as this position is based on the premise that females are inferior, weak and stupid and for any male to want to be inferior, weak and stupid is wrong and they should be made to feel guilty by verbal, physical, legal and mental persecution.
The guilt that cross-dressers are made to feel is symptomatic of larger issues based on false beliefs and ideologies. To me the solution is a clearer perception based on accurate usage of terminology.
So, why do you feel guilty?
- November 19, 2021 at 9:11 am #577719Jill QuinnLadyRegistered On: July 24, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 107Has thanked: 680 timesBeen thanked: 493 times
I suffered with horrible guilt for over 30 years, starting when I was only 13. For me, it stemmed from the beliefs put into my head as a little boy, that only perverts, freaks, pedophiles, and (I’m quoting here) faggots wear girls clothes.
It made me believe that there had to be something wrong with me or why else would I have these feelings that EVERYONE says are wrong?!? Who gave anyone the right to say that we’re something to be despised and ridiculed simply because we want to embrace our feminine side?!? There is nothing to feel ashamed of for liking women’s clothing.
After I told my wife, she helped to see that I had no reason to feel any shame, and just like that, I decided to drop it like a bad habit. I no longer live with the shame of wanting to wear women’s clothing. Instead, I enjoy it! I embrace it! I revel in it! And why not? It makes me feel good and it harms no one. Shame like that is only self destructive.
Leah had some fantastic advice about putting your feminine things in a box instead of tossing them out. Please try that.
- November 19, 2021 at 8:44 am #577711LeahBaronessRegistered On: June 13, 2018Topics: 3Replies: 305Has thanked: 4857 timesBeen thanked: 1193 times
Lots of great advice and perspective, We ALL at one time or another have dealt with guilt and it is not something that goes away easily or quickly. With the help of this site, supportive wife/SO it can make it go even better. Try to do some inner soul searching as to why you feel guilty. Society certainly does not help our situation in the least. There is nothing wrong with wanting to wear lingerie or ladies clothes, after all ladies can wear any types of clothing and no one bats an eye.
At the end of the day, you have to come to grips of who you are and that you enjoy to dress up. Buying and purging is a waste of good clothes, but UI understand it. Next time you feel like throwing things away, try boxing them up and pout them away so you don’t have to re – buy the things you love.
- November 19, 2021 at 7:59 am #577693AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Hi Rosiebeth ,
I think most of us on here have at some time felt guilty about our crossdressing, I know i have, the thing is we go round in this never ending circle of buying and then purging the clothes we like to wear,
In the end most of us know that crossdressing is and will always be a part of our lives,
So don’t feel guilty it gets you nowhere,
I’m a crossdresser and always will be one,
Hugs Roz X
- November 19, 2021 at 6:17 am #577668
- November 15, 2021 at 3:04 pm #576468Abbie NormalDuchessRegistered On: June 13, 2021Topics: 13Replies: 668Has thanked: 1360 timesBeen thanked: 2781 times
I think, as others have mentioned, purging is a part of the process that most of us go through. I think the end goal of the process in question is to fully accept that this is part of you. Denying it and keeping it buried is likely hurting you. Not that bringing it all to the surface will be easy either…
I stopped purging 20+ years ago but full acceptance didn’t come until this year. The intervening years had their ups and downs but denial was a big part of the down times. BTW, I stopped purging when I partially accepted that this was a part of me and told my SO some of what I needed. The whole story and accepting the ‘why’ part came more recently.
So, give yourself a hug and permission to be “complete”. There is nothing wrong with what you’re doing even though wider acceptance may be hard to find just yet.
You’re already on the right path by being here.
— Abbie 🥰
- This reply was modified 2 months ago by Abbie Normal.
- November 15, 2021 at 2:44 pm #576463AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Girl have a word with yourself your being far too hard on yourself, you are entitled to be happy in life and do things that make you happy give yourself a break.
- November 14, 2021 at 8:42 am #575982Michelle McQueenLadyRegistered On: June 14, 2021Topics: 19Replies: 889Has thanked: 5083 timesBeen thanked: 4655 times
Over the years I’ve purged too many times to count and it was guilt and shame every time. I finally got old enough to purge the guilt and shame and keep my clothes.
- November 14, 2021 at 8:36 am #575980rebekka mooreLadyRegistered On: January 7, 2017Topics: 86Replies: 1031Has thanked: 618 timesBeen thanked: 2453 times
Rosiebeth, first off I love your name! So darling!
Secondly, I think the guilt (and purging) are something most if not all of us have suffered with at times.
It is a process. When I started dressing and when I was “finished” for a session I would feel that intense guilt. That I had just done something so wrong, followed by the purge of some great things, and a vow to “never do this again!” Well guess what? I did, and continue, but without the guilt or purging. (New problem however, I’m running out of space to put everything! 🙂 (good problem).
My point Rosiebeth is, you are doing nothing wrong! There is nothing to feel guilty for. You are doing something that makes you feel really good, that you love doing and more than likely want to keep exploring. You have to keep that mindset. This is for you! I honestly wish I would have realized that much sooner, but one day it hit me. “This feels good and I’m doing it!”
For me it did come with a cost, my wife does not like this at all and has put a damper on our intimate relationship. But it was my choice, and I love my choice.
I’ll stop now! 🙂 Just know things get better, the more you realize you are doing what you do, for you! No one else.
Love and hugs,
- November 13, 2021 at 5:39 pm #575840Birel GalanodelLadyRegistered On: May 3, 2020Topics: 24Replies: 338Has thanked: 930 timesBeen thanked: 1667 times
Rosiebeth, I’ve been through those feelings and the purges in the past as well. But, there is nothing wrong with us for liking to crossdress. It doesn’t hurt anyone. It’s just something that feels right to us, brings us joy, peace, etc. So, why feel guilty about that?
- November 13, 2021 at 3:01 pm #575797BobbiLadyRegistered On: September 13, 2018Topics: 37Replies: 1817Has thanked: 2204 timesBeen thanked: 5483 times
Yes. My advice is to NEVER purge!!! Put your things in a box & lock them away. You WILL want them again! The urge to dress is NOT going away. It’s how we’re “wired”. Throwing your dresses away is just wasteful & expensive! You don’t need anybody’s “permission” to be yourself & enjoy your life. The biggest sin anybody can commit is not being true to themself. If you enjoy wearing pretty cloths, then WEAR THEM! You don’t owe anybody an explanation. You owe it to yourself to be yourself. You’re only in this world for a short time. Are you going to live your life by your own rules, or follow the rules that someone you don’t know has put down for you???
You get one go at this life!
- November 13, 2021 at 2:27 pm #575785SylviaLadyRegistered On: October 10, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 605Has thanked: 14720 timesBeen thanked: 2660 times
Dear Rosiebeth ,
I know about the guilt / shame.
Now that I am 53 years old that is gone.
I am finally accepting myself as I am.
I am still in the closet however , I think it is no-ones business but mine alone what I feel like deep inside.
As I do not have a SO , I see no need to tell anyone about that part of myself.
As many as 5 weeks ago absolutely no-one knew about my crossdressing.
Now , all the girls on this site know.
Reading their stories and experiences , they are girls that have a secret just like me….it has changed me more than I could have imagined in the past few weeks !
I just saw your profile picture. You look stunning ! That hair-colour really suits you.
What is also very apparent in the picture , is your inner woman radiating to the outside.
So guilt ?
NEVER be guilty of the beautiful woman you are Rosiebeth , in and outside !
- This reply was modified 2 months ago by Sylvia.
- November 13, 2021 at 1:19 pm #575774Helene BockLadyRegistered On: September 17, 2016Topics: 1Replies: 85Has thanked: 69 timesBeen thanked: 312 times
Guilt?… I never even thought of it, however, I felt bad the day my first wife “discovered” my secret – but no guilt. Must admit I still love dressing up and go out for a nice meal and be “pampered” as “madame”… never any thoughts of guilt as I enjoy dressing up. However, in the beginning before I started going out in public, I had a fear of being discovered which is in my opinion not the same as guilt
- November 10, 2021 at 9:07 am #574442Trisha SmithLadyRegistered On: August 24, 2020Topics: 31Replies: 406Has thanked: 238 timesBeen thanked: 2072 times
We only live once hun. There should be no guilt in being who you are and doing what makes you happy. It’s a construct of others predetermined ideas about what’s best pressed into a fits all mold and cast across the wall for all to apply as needed. I say nope. I am me. I finally accepted me. And you should as well. It’s way more fun this way.
- October 26, 2021 at 1:38 am #564467Angela BoothLadyRegistered On: August 1, 2020Topics: 9Replies: 794Has thanked: 2994 timesBeen thanked: 4047 times
I am sure this has been eluded to here, but the guilt is something that you feel due to outside pressure. The way you were bought up, societies attitude, religious attitude and how others would see you. It is a big mix of things and is affecting your thoughts.
You keep wanting to buy and wear the clothes as it makes you happy and that’s the important part, you. If it makes you happy then carry on. The more comfortable you become in accepting yourself you can then focus on going further and look to find that acceptance outside of your bubble. You have found CDH. You couldn’t be more welcomed and accepted. The first steps to ease that guilt and maybe to look at the experiences here and realise that there will be more out there in your personal life that will accept the real you.
Keep calm and carry on Rosiebeth
- October 26, 2021 at 12:33 am #564456ZoeLadyRegistered On: December 13, 2020Topics: 1Replies: 60Has thanked: 120 timesBeen thanked: 301 times
I felt guilt for a while. Did a purge. But quickly realized the guilt was not about letting Zoë out, it was about not letting my wife in. Once she knew the guilt was pretty much gone.
- November 13, 2021 at 2:35 pm #575788Sally ZarcaeLadyRegistered On: July 23, 2021Topics: 11Replies: 149Has thanked: 314 timesBeen thanked: 536 times
So true Zoe, as soon as my SO knew it was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I don’t even have guilt around my kids anymore, as I have the support from my wife. My kids don’t know however and for me they don’t need to know.
I hope you can find some peace with your feelings Rosiebeth
- This reply was modified 2 months ago by Sally Zarcae.
- October 27, 2021 at 6:00 pm #565206Elizabeth JenkinsLadyRegistered On: March 28, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 37Has thanked: 92 timesBeen thanked: 169 times
I agree with Zoe, once I had ‘the talk’ with my wife the quilt mostly went away. I’m one of the lucky girls because she accepted Elizabeth however if she hadn’t as difficult as it would have been Elizabeth would have gone away. My marriage is much more important to me than Elizabeth,
- October 26, 2021 at 12:00 am #564454ElizabethLadyRegistered On: October 7, 2021Topics: 32Replies: 401Has thanked: 2612 timesBeen thanked: 1857 times
- October 25, 2021 at 11:13 pm #564450PrudenceAmbassadorRegistered On: January 7, 2020Topics: 2Replies: 324Has thanked: 1443 timesBeen thanked: 1351 times
Hi Rosiebeth!! I have purged a few times in the past. O.K. several. But Pru never really goes away. This time around I have embraced it. I think the only guilt anymore, is how big my wardrobe would be now. Just take your time, you dont need to purge. If anything just put it aside if need be. I’m pretty sure you will be back! Hugs Pru
- October 25, 2021 at 9:31 pm #564443Liara WolfeDuchessRegistered On: August 14, 2021Topics: 3Replies: 1021Has thanked: 1982 timesBeen thanked: 3928 times
Rosibeth I deal with the “guilt” myself. Just this past weekend it crept up on me again. I didn’t do anything rash but I did just do male. Towards the end of the weekend I realized I was missing be connected to my feminine self. So now I’m back to embracing the female me. So, what I guess I’m saying is these feelings of “guilt” are going to come up now and again (at least with some of us girls, some are lucky and don’t have this problem). Just take a breath, don’t make any decision you will later regret and wait it out.
- September 9, 2020 at 5:58 am #382213RosiebethLadyRegistered On: October 3, 2019Topics: 11Replies: 142Has thanked: 500 timesBeen thanked: 933 times
Thank you so much Girls. You are all fabulous women and I’m blessed to have you as my friends and support. You’ll be happy to know as I’m writing I’m having Rosiebeth time and loving it. You all made me feel so welcomed and loved. You are really a special group and I love yas.
- September 9, 2020 at 5:28 am #382194AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Guilt might be the fourth stage in the big lie-prejudice-double standard cycle. Let me share with you something I’ve learned over the years, painfully at times.
I want to talk here about a couple of double standards in our society. One standard works against women, whereas the other works against men. Both standards are driven by the same prejudice which in turn is driven by the same big lie. Prejudice has a way of turning otherwise rational people into extremely irrational people. Remember that. The big lie that I’m talking about here states that men are superior to women, thereby enabling the root prejudice that manhood is a higher form of life than womanhood. Of course we all know that’s wrong, but sadly it still exists, even in so-called ‘mainstream’ society.
Let’s look at this first situation in light of the big lie, keeping in mind that the lie drives the prejudice which in turn drives the double standard that works against women. I can see where certain social dictums (standards) are critical of women but not of men, in one area of life. Think about the double standards that are applied to men and women when they are preoccupied with sex, or are flirting with or trying to start sexual activity with members of the opposite sex. When a man seeks sexual activity, he is labeled as ‘red blooded’ or “boys will be boys, after all that’s what they do”. When a woman however wants or does the same, she is labeled by society as being ‘slutty’, ‘trashy’ or ‘cheap’ or worse labels that I wouldn’t even want to mention. Double standards anyone? Looking at this first set of double standards in the light of that false belief, one can easily see that women are being put in the gutter because of a misguided popular belief (prejudice) that they are a lower form of human life than men and as such they have no right to mimic the higher form of life, namely men.
I’m seeing where this same lie and root prejudice is driving a totally different set of double standards which work against men. Those double standards can cause people of either gender to be critical or judgmental of men wearing lingerie or any other so-called ‘female’ clothing. They may say things like: “That’s disgusting, take it off, it makes you look like a woman! Are you a pervert or something?” While at the same time, people are not critical or judgmental of women wearing so-called ‘male’ clothing. Double standards anyone? The fact is, a certain percentage of men will wear so-called ‘female’ clothing, regardless of what social dictums say to the contrary. After all, we’re living in the United States here, not somewhere in Iran or North Korea. Looking at this second situation in the light of that same false belief or prejudice, one can readily see that a man wearing any so called ‘female’ clothing is mimicking a lower form of life, whereas a woman wearing what society has labeled as ‘male’ clothing, is mimicking a higher form of life.
I’m not saying that the criticizers themselves are the culprits in these scenarios, far from it. The real culprit is a society which has brain-washed the criticizers by using the big lie which has then morphed into the root prejudice, and that prejudice in turn drives the double standards. These double standards as well as the prejudice which drives them cannot be eliminated until the big lie which drives the whole thing is destroyed.
- September 8, 2020 at 11:31 pm #382156Emily AltDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: August 24, 2019Topics: 13Replies: 677Has thanked: 549 timesBeen thanked: 3252 times
I’ve lost count of how many times I purged. I’d feel guilt about my crossdressing and off to the dumpster everything would go. Then the desire would come back, and I’d feel guilty about tossing my stash! There were days when I hated myself. Fortunately that’s all in the past.
Like the other girls said, there’s no reason to feel guilty about your crossdressing. Learning to accept yourself is the first step to a happier life. Seeing an experienced counselor can help with that.
Purging will only leave you worse off emotionally and financially.
I’d like to suggest an alternative to purging that may help. Get yourself a suitable storage container for your clothes. Find a place for it that’s out of the way and out of sight. When the urge to purge strikes, promise yourself you’ll wait 15 minutes. Then go do some busy work. When the break is over, put your clothes in the container. Then stow the container in the spot you chose. Now you have a treasure chest. When the desire comes back it’ll be waiting right where you left it.
Hopefully someday all your lovely things can live permanently in your closet and chest of drawers.
- October 25, 2021 at 4:27 pm #564301
- September 8, 2020 at 9:40 pm #382135Camryn OccasionnelDuchessRegistered On: December 10, 2018Topics: 1Replies: 614Has thanked: 1213 timesBeen thanked: 1631 times
I’ve stopped using the word “guilt” as it applies to my crossdressing. “Guilt” implies that you’ve committed an offense of some kind, or a crime. I refuse to believe my crossdressing is criminal. I may be offensive to some, but that’s only if I step foot outside of my closet. And I never, never do that.
“Shame” is the word I’m using for myself these days. It’s odd, though, when I’m logged into CDH and I’m among my virtual Sisters on the site, I feel no shame. Likewise, when I’m dressed en femme for an evening at home alone, I can’t really say I feel any shame. Sometimes, I even forget I’m in en femme!
The shame will come when I’m discovered, when my closet is invaded, and my secret is exposed for all to see. Then there will be shame. Then there will be humiliation. But not guilt.
- September 8, 2020 at 9:10 pm #382132Christine NelsonDuchessRegistered On: April 30, 2020Topics: 1Replies: 16Has thanked: 28 timesBeen thanked: 87 times
I would say, throw away the guilt not the dress 😉💗. Clearly there is more to it than that but I’m sure you know what I mean here. Listen hun, we’ve all been there, the vicious purge cycle is just that, vicious. Honestly my dear, it’s all between the ears…You either except who and what you are and enjoy it or, you languish in the world of questioning why we do what we did as crossdressers! Pick your poison honey!
XOXO 💜 Christine 💃
- September 8, 2020 at 9:08 pm #382131ChloeCDuchessRegistered On: November 5, 2019Topics: 11Replies: 467Has thanked: 1594 timesBeen thanked: 2262 times
First, sometimes it seems like it’s so easy for all of us to say, ‘Hey, girl, stop with the guilt feelings’. Well, it ain’t that easy, we are what we are, and sometimes that includes feeling bad about ourselves, like we’re doing something wrong (or worse). Well, to tell the truth, I do have guilty feelings. See, I love chocolate…a lot. I’ve found a manufacturer who makes the most delicious chocolate ice cream I can imagine. Chocolate, chocolate fudge, and chocolate chips all in one. I could eat a whole carton in one sitting…and still want more. I’m sure it’s not good for me in that quantity, but still…. That, my dear, is a true guilty feeling when I indulge.
Now as far as wanting to be female and dress appropriately, well, I’ve had that desire since I was about 4, and it’s never gone away,(much as I tried early on to push it away!!!) through purges, military, marriages, children, grandchildren, job changes, moves. It is what it is, and thank goodness, I’ve now accepted it. I dress when I can, I let my imagination run when I can, I’m through purging. It’s not that I ever felt really guilty about doing it, it was that I felt I’d never be able to be open to anyone about it. Thank goodness for the internet and sites like this where I can, where we can, where there is support and understanding and acceptance.
And especially, girls here in all stages of trying to live at least a part of their lives as they want and who are sharing their success stories, some large, some small, but all steps in the right direction, and giving others a chance to see what they might also be able to do. Guilt? Bah! Knowing who and what you – and we – are and where we want to go, that’s what we should all be focusing on.
- September 8, 2020 at 7:47 pm #382123RosiebethLadyRegistered On: October 3, 2019Topics: 11Replies: 142Has thanked: 500 timesBeen thanked: 933 times
Thanks so much Girls. I love all your words of encouragement and your support. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only girl who has these issues and with your help I can work through them and be one with Rosiebeth.
- September 8, 2020 at 7:18 pm #382111Peggy Sue WilliamsDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: June 26, 2019Topics: 19Replies: 336Has thanked: 1271 timesBeen thanked: 1610 times
No guilt, please no guilt, honey, Rosiebeth, no reason at all for you to have any guilt about your cross dressing. I read all the comments the girls of CDH are making, excellent feedback for you. They know, as we all know, we are special people. We have female parts to our personalities, which have to be expressed freely, from time to time, and periodic purges will not “cure” anything.
I rode the guilt roller coaster for many years, fought alcoholism as a result. Then I had to reconcile my cross dressing with my fundamental Christian beliefs, not religion, but fundamental Bible-believing Christian beliefs. Oh, and I was a macho Chief Petty Officer in the US Navy. Imagine what my men would have thought, knowing their Chief wore dresses? Stress and guilt, yes, we all know it, all too well!
Rosiebeth, you are a beautiful person, and you are in the right place. Ask away your questions. The girls of CDH have been there and done that.
Hugs from Peggy Sue!
- September 8, 2020 at 2:38 pm #382016Mary Ann SummersLadyRegistered On: April 29, 2020Topics: 21Replies: 128Has thanked: 493 timesBeen thanked: 1038 times
“I’ve been dealing with guilt with cross dressing”
That is a hauntingly familiar statement. Many of us have been there… but now we are here. My experience is, your urge to cross dress will NOT go away. Mine NEVER has & each time it returns (or I give in because it has never really gone away, it is always there just below the surface) it has a greater urgency. When I last tried to deny Mary Ann I purged two closets full. I thought that would be the end. Nope.
When I opened up Pandora’s Box this last time the Pink Fog was so thick that I knew Mary Ann was here to stay for better or worse. She is a part of me, she IS me. I am much more at ease in knowing and accepting her now. My S.O. does not know yet and I am aware there could/will be repercussions when I tell her. But I’ve tried to deny who I was for too long and was VERY unhappy for the better part of two decades because of it. No more. I am no spring chicken and I believe life without her wouldn’t be nearly as wonderful or complete in whatever time I have left to enjoy on this earth. So she is me and I am he,r and will be for always.
As a side note… me femme wardrobe now far exceeds my drab wardrobe, and grows often!
- September 8, 2020 at 2:34 pm #382006Alice UnderwireLadyRegistered On: September 16, 2019Topics: 90Replies: 4681Has thanked: 6952 timesBeen thanked: 11846 times
You have no basis for guilt over buying or wearing dresses. You are being yourself. After all they are merely clothes. When the guilt pangs hit think to yourself: I am who I am. I am a very special person.
You enjoy wearing your pretty dresses. They let you be who you are. Let that wonderful person out! You can decide the outcome. Enjoy your beautiful dresses or let the pangs of anxiety win. I know you can choose what’s best for you.
- September 8, 2020 at 2:22 pm #382002AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
As others said, you did nothing wrong to cause the guilt. And there is nothing wrong with us. If you think you should be different, says who? You can always find someone who will tell you that what you are doing is wrong no matter what it is!
- September 8, 2020 at 2:11 pm #381994AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Guilt is purely for someone who has done something wrong…the only crime you have committed is purging and re- buying….you have feelings you need to accept, never feel guilty about that… welcome to the girls club….we are all here for you if you need us……. rule 1…..you are doing nothing wrong…..work up from that….huggs honey. Grace xx
- September 8, 2020 at 2:03 pm #381992Mikayla WelshLadyRegistered On: April 29, 2020Topics: 4Replies: 68Has thanked: 432 timesBeen thanked: 275 times
As Laura eloquently stated, let’s save the guilt for those times that we have done something wrong… but as we know, it is far easier said than done…
I have only been fully dressing for a little less than a year… I have some memories dating back to childhood, but for most of my adult life, Mikayla was repressed and hidden away in the darkest corner of my mind. And while my mental state is so much better since she has seen the light of day, I still feel guilty for letting her out… I know that I am doing nothing wrong… I am who I am, but there is still those lingering thoughts… how could I do this to my family? how could I be so selfish? what will this do to my 6 yo daughter’s social network (will she lose friends if their parents find out)? all these things cause me to feel guilty (and sometimes a bit doubtful). Luckily, I have a good therapist and I have my friends on CDH… they offer support and encouragement without judgment.
So… Rosiebeth, you have friends here… and we will support you no matter how guilty (or ecstatic) you may feel. If you need support/advice/encouragement, this is a non-judgmental community that is willing to help in anyway they can. I have felt it and I suspect that you have felt it too.
- September 8, 2020 at 1:31 pm #381984Celeste StarreLadyRegistered On: June 26, 2018Topics: 46Replies: 1277Has thanked: 344 timesBeen thanked: 4702 times
- November 19, 2021 at 6:46 am #577672Barb WireDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: September 16, 2021Topics: 15Replies: 643Has thanked: 3743 timesBeen thanked: 3413 times
“Quick Draw Celeste”!!
I guess you only need one round in your six-shooter to make your bullet-point!
I have come to terms with my crossdressing. And it’s such a mental relief!
Have a great day Celeste and CDH!
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- September 8, 2020 at 1:14 pm #381981Stephanie BassPrincess - AnnualRegistered On: November 30, 2019Topics: 19Replies: 2861Has thanked: 41144 timesBeen thanked: 10434 times
Hi Rosiebeth nice to meet you well to start you should have left your guilt at the the door when you joined us girls here. I know easy said but we all have been there as feeling guilt and the dreaded purge of all your girly things . So listen to your heart girlfriend you can hide in the closet tell yourself it will not ever happen again but believe me it will come back. you like all of us here have a lady in our hearts and sole and she lives thru this manly body till she will eventually want out to see this world we live in and when she does she wont be caught dead in drab ol manly clothes she wants to be as girly as she can. Thats where you come in as buying her the girly things she needs to be the woman she is . sorry didnt read profile are you married?? or have a girlfriend?? and do either support Rosiebeth this would be a big plus in everyones life just take baby steps as to confess to them and lots of conversations about your other life .So better quit could go on forever hope some of this helps as im not a consoler in any way just a girl at heart and hope to help as i can good luck girlfriend pm if you want to chat more like all of us we are here for you .
- September 8, 2020 at 1:08 pm #381980AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
First luv. Never ever feel guilty. Ever. Nothing to feel guilty about. No need to be ashamed either.
Learn to love and express your female self. Its a wonderful feeling. Especially going out en femme.
But never feel ashamed of yourself Luv. Learn to embrace it. Take your time. Get to know Rosiebeth. You will see…. There is nothing to be ashamed of sis….
Hugs and L💋ve
P.S. I have been open with all my family and friends since 2003. If you need any help or have any questions please ask me. I told all my family and all friends at a family and at a best friends family reunion..
- September 8, 2020 at 1:03 pm #381979Laura LovettLadyRegistered On: March 26, 2020Topics: 39Replies: 1569Has thanked: 5082 timesBeen thanked: 7823 times
Why do you feel guilty about it?
Everyone has at least one “guilty” pleasure, but, if it makes you happy, that’s OK – isn’t it?
Guilt is for when you’ve done something wrong – save it for those times.
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