• Creator
  • #434398
    Leah Santini
    Registered On: January 5, 2018
    Topics: 29
    Replies: 119
    Has thanked: 73 times
    Been thanked: 458 times


    I’ve been dressing for a little over three years and feel I’ve gotten things down now pretty well.  I’ve got a few favorite wigs, breast forms and pads that work for me, and have developed a fashion sense in dresses, skirts, tops and shoes.

    I’m conservative in my jewelry choices and makeup, but overall, I’ve achieved a very satisfactory level of femininity, so much so that I feel comfortable going out and about.

    While very high heels still elude me, I’ve mastered three inch and lower.

    But, there is still one aspect I don’t quite get.  I have  several purses with long straps, designed to carry on the shoulder or cross body.   Cross body certainly works, but that’s bit casual for some of my outfits.  I want to hang the purse off one shoulder.

    My problem is my shoulders slope downward and the purse strap often slides down!  Not a very ladylike thing to have happen!

    Anyone else experience this?  If so, how do you cope with it?


Viewing 10 reply threads
  • Author
    • #435228
      Paula F
      Registered On: August 7, 2019
      Topics: 12
      Replies: 893
      Has thanked: 8819 times
      Been thanked: 3455 times


      I use long and short straps and cross body purses, and it just takes practice to deal with them as you move around in public.  I watched how other GG’s handled theirs for a long time trying to figure it out.  I usually shorten a long strap until the top of the purse body is even with my forearm held at 90 deg from the ground.  That lets me rest my arm and adds a downward weight to the strap and usually keep it firmly on my shoulder, and my hand can keep ahold of the strap to keep it from falling to the floor or someone snatching it.

      My cross body are good for when I am shopping so I don’t have to set it down anywhere and have to keep an eye on it while looking at different things.  Short straps will rest in the crook of your elbow so you still have both hands free, but you do need to shift it from one arm to the other periodically to rest the muscles in one arm, or you get stiff and sore when moving that arm if you hold it too long.

      Hope that might help.


      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #434772
      Sally Drinkwater
      Registered On: July 15, 2019
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 260
      Has thanked: 58 times
      Been thanked: 950 times

      Cross body shoulder bags were origionaly to thwart bagsnatchers and leave both hands free while walking, to wear them on one shoulder shorten the strap and use a slight downward pressure on the bag to tighten everything up.  🙂

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #434767
      Polly Stewart
      Registered On: January 2, 2021
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 516
      Has thanked: 672 times
      Been thanked: 1448 times

      Hi Leah…

      I have a shoulder that was smashed in an accident and everything including bra straps and bag straps fall off!
      Solution; shorten the strap or take the bloody thing off… use the handles or failing that, use it as a clutch. Nothing more feminine than a woman sporting a clutch.
      As a by product… use a clasp to pull your bra straps closer together at the back…

      Hugs Polly

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #434592
      Registered On: September 13, 2018
      Topics: 26
      Replies: 1497
      Has thanked: 1623 times
      Been thanked: 3636 times

      I prefer an off the shoulder bag, keeping it in place with my thumb under the strap, & holding it to my side with my inner arm/elbow. I don’t much care for crossbody purses, but I understand their usefulness at times. That said, I’m a woman, NOT a messenger! LOL

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #434447
      Sandy Craig
      Registered On: March 18, 2018
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 253
      Has thanked: 174 times
      Been thanked: 549 times

      Not uncommon.

      If you have a purse/bag you love you can put a small amount of clear silicone on the strap where it rides on your shoulder.


    • #434436
      Bettylou Cox
      Registered On: May 26, 2019
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 1808
      Has thanked: 3336 times
      Been thanked: 6171 times

      Hi Leah,

      Oh, yes! I’m in the same boat as you…and after the purse strap slips down to my elbow a few time, I just surrender and go cross-shoulder. Perhaps GSs just have flatter shoulders than we do?


      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #434434
      Stephanie Bass
      Princess - Annual
      Registered On: November 30, 2019
      Topics: 11
      Replies: 1270
      Has thanked: 12532 times
      Been thanked: 4167 times

      Hi Leah nice to meet you and a good question as i have never been out of my home as Stephanie . I play as wife says she has a lot of finishing to do before we go to as we are planning to go to Keystone in 2022 if the Chinese  bug goes away .. So i will get to put your suggestions to use so thank you very much ..

      Stephanie Bass

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #434426
      Jennifer Michelle Larue
      Registered On: December 5, 2020
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 14
      Has thanked: 61 times
      Been thanked: 104 times

      The problem you describe is not uncommon. I will often reduce the strap length & carry the purse a bit higher. This allows me to control it a bit more with my arm or elbow. Good luck!

    • #434412
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: January 21, 2018
      Topics: 430
      Replies: 1742
      Has thanked: 7625 times
      Been thanked: 6878 times

      Hi Leah,

      Mine are all crossbody & I usually sling em off one shoulder

      I feel that the strap is kind of like a shoe – you have to get it broke in a bit, & also get used to it being there

      Having some weight to the purse helps, as does resting your hand atop it – both will put some tension on the strap to help keep it in place.

      I find keeping my shoulders back just a bit helps…

      It also helps that I have just a bit of a bump at the outward edge of my shoulders, where my arm socket attaches, maybe you do also? — i find the best place to keep the strap is right ahead of that, same general spot where your bra strap would be!

    • #434411
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: September 21, 2018
      Topics: 299
      Replies: 91
      Has thanked: 250 times
      Been thanked: 350 times

      I always wear my purse cross-body, but that’s just me…

      but I know if I don’t, I’ll set it down, and…

      well, sometimes there’s “something else” in there that I need to keep others from getting…

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #434404
      patty williams
      Registered On: January 19, 2019
      Topics: 67
      Replies: 1242
      Has thanked: 2080 times
      Been thanked: 4302 times

      HI Leah,

      I have come to the conclusion I like a shoulder purse also.

      Honestly I like a hand bag but I know I would set it down and loose it,LOL

      Any way I dont care for crossbody straps and yes a shoulder strap does keep falling off my shoulder at times it is a bit frustrating.

      Hugs Patty

Viewing 10 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Crossdresser Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account