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That is what I have to do every day, oh it’s not because I admire them, I have neuropathy in my limbs and I check for damage over my entire body…so every day I have to look at them…these legs have throughout my life…ohhh I know what you are thinking…but remember gym class when you had to wear shorts…I do..it was torment..You guys didn’t always find my legs attractive…you always pointed out the flaws and scars…made fun of how scrawny they were…skinnier than chicken legs and the whole class would laughed…me I felt the sting of the humiliation…ohhh GG’s you don’t get off the hook so easy either…you girls where the worst…your words didn’t just attack my self image…but the worst part of it was I grew up to believe your words…I was ugly…there wasn’t enough of me to love…I accepted your view…I believed your lies…and daily I would reinforce those lies that was planted soooo many years ago…over the past 3 years I came to realize the subtle lies in which I myself continued to reinforce this self image of myself….there have been the assorted remarks over the years…but in some ways those lies have helped me grow and heal in ways I would never have seen before or expected… even as an adult I have been self conscious of my legs…
Cross dressing brought this issue straight to the front of my life once again and this time I really became conflicted inside…see, I am aware of the body I have today, many crossdressers wish they could have this body, and I have had women say they would kill if they could have a body like mine (sorry that is not the best diet plan) and then more often than not the focus shifts to my legs, which will elicit a comment and compliment…which I have dismissed with some comment of my own like “naw they are too skinny” or “they’re not that good”…(I’m sure no one else does this)
Like I said above, the last 3 years have been journey to reverse those lies that I have embraced…and yesterday took one more dramatic shift to loving, accepting and embracing Steve/Stephanie…
I was sitting out in the sun with my iPad wearing a very short pair of shorts… I was logged into cdh reading forums, sneaking into the chat for a bit, and then back to reading more articles…and one article in particular spoke to me…I set my iPad to the side so I could pondered the article a bit and do some self kare…I grabbed the suntan lotion and made this statement to myself “look at those legs”…I began as I always do, looking for wounds and midway through this exam this little voice inside me said “those are beautiful legs”…i have never said that in my life about my legs, but this moment I began to see my legs as beautiful…I sat there, just looking at them, seeing them differently…I noticed the beautiful tan…the smooth, soft feel of the skin…the long lean sexy look of those legs…what I didn’t notice this time, was the scars of the past…I didn’t notice how skinny they are…I saw how evenly proportionate they are to one another and I thought…they really are beautiful and now I have eliminated one more lie from my life…Steve is getting to know Stephanie…Stephanie is getting to know Steve…and both of them are learning to embrace each other as god created them to do in the beginning…after all he made them male and female, who says I have to be one or the other, I am both…😘😘😘🥰🥰🌹💕
I love that you’re able to see what others see now!
As for the last part of your statement, God created Even from a Adam’s rib. She was always inside of him. Our feminine side is probably by design!
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