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    • #94903
      Ally Hale
      Lady

      Hello my name is Ally I am a 48 year old married male who has cross dressed since I was 6 years old. I would like to tell my story  my mother past away when I was 5 years old my only memory of her was at the hospital I would not where a hospital gOwn to see her. My father remarried about a year later. Soon afterward I remember sneaking and wearing  my step mom and sisters clothes. This continued through my teen years occasionally getting caught by my step mother.

      I met my wife when I was 16 and soon afterward talked her into letting me wear her panties. I remember wearing her panties to the prom and when we got married at 18. We soon moved to North Carolina she would occasionally let me dress up and clean house. After several years we have 2 children.

      Approximately 15 years ago I had a problem with cocain. We would party at night one night my childhood friend and his wife was over partying with us before the night was over I ended up in a dress in front of them. From that point I came out to a female neighbor. My neighbor encouraged me and for the next 2 years I only wore woman’s underwear, pantyhose and some woman’s pants and shirts. My family except for my dad was aware. I constantly tried to destroy my manhood. My neighbor talked me into going to a gay bar dressed up. My wife became disgusted with me . My neighbor kept helping me destroy my manhood she deliberately had other neighbors catch me dressed up and took me to my family doctor and I told her that I wanted to become a woman. Still doing drugs a co worker caught me at a gas station in a dress. The following Monday I went into work and was asked to take a drug test I refused and everyone knew that I was creossdressing. I

      I lost my job and was under a non compete contract. My wife had enough we soon moved back to Kentucky and my cross dressing days was over. She adopted a no tolerance don’t talk about it policy. For my kids sake I agreed and put it in the closet. I still secretly dressed up whenever I had a minute alone but has never been the same. It seems with my kids and wife I don’t have much time alone. Needless to say are marriage has never been the same I think of men when we occasionally have sex. I have tried to get the 2 girls at work to help me but with no success. I recently met a gay couple of woman at work and it really has made me consider my one sexuality and remember everything that has happened.

      I really don’t no what to do. Do you all think that I could have really destroyed my manhood? I always wanted to transition but would not pass. I really just would like to get back to wearing panties everyday and see where things go. It is very difficult when there is no encouragement or support hiding it seems like what I have done for the last 12 years and what is the point?

      Thanks, Ally

    • #94912

      hello Ally, nice to meet you and welcome to C.D.H. this is the place only on the web to meet others and chat and learn more about our desire to dress up.sorry about the loss of your job and no contact with wife. its hard to hide our desire to x dress, its in our jeans. every one x dresses even woman x dress . every walk of life x dresses. for your neighbor it sounds like he wanted to make you loose your job and wife and kids. plus en bare ish  you to others and make you a fuck toy for others to have sex with and make you a female.   having oral sex sounds good to me wish i could try just once but that’s all, not the rear end either,that’s a exit not a enter.   when i dress up all i think of is meeting another x dresser and have coffee, shop and then go from there if oral sex is in the subject i would for i am dressed up as a female.     my wife found out when my daughter seen a pic of me i forgot to hide and showed mom, it was Halloween pic. i love dressing up all pretty. my wife gives me the heads up that i can do what i like to do. so i am half way there before she tells me. its the heads up deal that our 2 adult kids are not going to be home so i can dress up.  wife will not help with make up or see me but she has allot of times. but will not let me sit with her in same room and talk like 2 woman and ask me why ?, what do i get out of it ?,   how do i feel dressed up as a female?  i have the answer for all of them but she will not listen if i told her.   its a relaxing feeling, depressed release, helps with my panic attacks. i love the feel of panties and pad and bra on, plus nylons are a messaging feeling on legs, the dress is a plus and makes me look like the person i should of been.  i am a 28 waist thin and feminine figure. wife does not dress up pretty no more, lost my mom and dad 68 days apart from each other. going though my moms cloths i took most of them and now own them, plus i took over my wife’s dresses for she don’t fit into them no more.  i am a medically retired man that loves to dress up and feel free of life. i am 55 years old and got my medical retirement at age 45, open heart surgery did it for me and its sucks. but i do what i can to keep busy, scrapping, working on cars for people i know and i get more by mouth, i do the job right and tell them what they need, it does not come back for the same problem, i do the job right the first time and 110% honest with my customers.   for your situation its hard to say what to do, for getting wife back i hope you do, job wise there is more out there. for wearing panties do it but make sure you under dress where people cant see you wearing panties or bra.  i under dress when i can and wear a dress also with my male cloths over them this way no one knows i am wearing female cloths.. well hope this will help you out. have a great day.

    • #94915

      Hi Ally.  I can really understand your problem. To thine ownself be true. Sit down and really think about what you want or desire. Understand that your current life will be at great risk here. From what I have read above, I would think that you want the best of both worlds. Please…..realize to adopt this idea very well may destroy your current life……would you be OK with that? This is a very important decision to make.  Can you leave your family and friends behind to be a transsexual? Maybe you will suffer psyhcoloical problems ever after and spend your life is  misery. On the other hand, maybe your family, friends would accept you and you may be very happy ever after. Remember that you cannot change back once you’ve crossed gendered.

      I would strongly suggest you talk to a counselor about your thoughts and involve your wife after a few visits. This may help you with your thoughts and ideas. This is a life changing idea and decision you must live with so think about it very carefully.

      Ally, if you have any more questions or just want to talk about this issue….please do not be afraid to contact me. All will be done thru CDH’s private message system or my personal e-mail if you wish. My advice is……if you are lost in the woods…sit on a log and think about where to go and do not move from that log until you are certain where to go!  All the best dear.

      Lady Veronica Graunwolf

    • #94917
      Ally Hale
      Lady

      Thanks for your comments you are correct I don’t want to lose my kids, wife or my job. It is just difficult hiding the past and keeping it buried. I have done many things to destroy my life as a normal male there are so many people who know part of what has happened. But has not been discussed for so many years that it is a burden.

      Thanks, Ally

    • #94935

      Lady Veronica Graunwolf could not say it any better, but we are here for you if you need some one to chat with.

    • #94975
      Stephanie Flowers
      Ambassador

      Ally   life in many ways can be difficult and cruel. And I’m sorry to hear about you at work and especially that from your wife .the hurt must be unbearable. For you in mentioning just go back to basics.  By to wearing just panties and to make yourself comfortable in something that at least feels good and puts your mine in a better place. Now being here;  you’ve arrived and I hope  it will  help you even more to ease some of those  troubles. Meet our girls and be help in ways to make you happy and encourage that all is well . Important thing is your not alone , we’re all here for support and care this  community can offer. Best to you and hope your journey finds calmer waters ahead . As one of your ambassadors I’m here to help if needed , PM me anything time would love to help .   Hugs    Stephanie 🌹

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