Is it a person's height and build which first triggers the "potential crossdresser" evaluation?

Look/Appearance vs. Stature - I have a friend who recently said to me that they could not go out because they were 6' tall and athletically built . . . so, do we start from an initial position of standing out and attracting attention just by our mere presence in the setting?

  • Yes 54.17% 52 votes
  • No 45.83% 44 votes
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    • #639126
      DianaCD22
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      Registered On: April 19, 2020
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      Hello Terri.  I also voted, “no” after reading through the comments that the other girls have left.  I agree with them on many of their points.  There are several tall women in the world.  Tall women are going to stand out just by being tall but that does not “out” them as crossdressing.  There are many manners and habits that have been pointed out.  These will cause one to be seen as a crossdresser no matter your height.

      I do like having other tall women around when I am dressed and out.  It does help me to blend in.

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    • #638767
      Rayna Carlian
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      Registered On: March 4, 2020
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      Ok, I voted no because I see 6′(or nearly) tall women all the time.

      If I’m thinking CD or trans woman, I look at hands, jawline, shoulder to waist to hip ratios(not always a sign), Adam’s apple, and stance… The way you stand ladies can OFTEN be the dead giveaway, even from a distance. Feet equally set apart, hands dangling at your side but about 3 to 4 inches away from the hips(like your lats are keeping them from laying flat to your body), chin out making LOTS of eye contact? That’s dude body language…

      Most women aren’t going to stare down everyone that walks by. They also aren’t “squared up” to face off with trouble at all times, and if your hands are at your side…keep the whole arm pulled close.

      I actually make a point of bending at the elbow and putting fingers together at least while keeping the elbow tight to the torso…. I also shift weight from one leg to the other and the off leg is pointed out at a 45 and extended slightly away from my centerline. This pushes out the hip of the weightbearing leg a little and disrupts the straight line look that guys tend to have.

      That’s my 2 cents, I know that everyone has their own style and approach.

      Have fun out there!

      xoxo

      Rayna

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    • #638224
      Sarah Kanter
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      Registered On: April 25, 2019
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      I think it’s the build and the proportions more than the height. I mean, if a woman is very tall, she gets noticed, but it’s the proportions that “give it away.” It’s the relationship between shoulders and hips that I think makes the biggest difference. Also, the length of the neck related to the shoulders. A lot of men seem to compress their neck a little, or maybe they’re lifting their shoulders and letting their harms hang further away from the body (male gorilla impersonation). I find if I stretch my head a bit taller and let my shoulders drop back a bit, it makes a huge difference (in the mirror anyway . . .)

      It’s interesting, as I’ve dressed more and more openly, I find myself paying attention to this kind of thing more and more. I often see a person and think, is that another cross dresser? Usually the key is the body proportions. I’ve noticed that as people get older, their bodies seem to shift away from the “classic” male and female profiles. It seems like passing is easiest if you’re older, younger, or if you have a body that is naturally shaped like a woman.

      Here’s what I notice most:

      1. Body proportions, shoulder to hip ratio usually
      2. relationship between head, neck, and shoulders
      3. The face. If the face looks feminine, then I assume it’s a woman, regardless of the body, and the same is true in the opposite direction. The face is key, I think. (which means I need to do some make up work . . .)
      4. Hands.
      5. presentation, body language, voice, mannerisms, etc., though if a cross dresser is really trying, that looks more awkward/obvious than if they just relaxed and were more natural.

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    • #637956
      skippy1965 Cynthia
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      Agree that VERY tall girls in our community would stand out but by very tall I mean 6’3″ or more-particularly if you then wear 4-6 inch heels. But it’s more the “linebacker” musculature that makes one stand out. I’m 5 ft 8, myself(so 5/11 or so in average heels). Back when I was out and about in guy clothes, my hair(down well over halfway down on my back and very thick) and the earrings I always wore had me getting ma’amed often even wi8thout makeup or obvious women’s clothes.
      Cyn

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    • #637667
      Carmen Cruz
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      Registered On: September 12, 2021
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      I think like anything, it depends on the context. I’m not a big person, but if I walk in to a store with primarily asian cis women, I can feel my size. With heels, I’m a ton taller than the general crowd. If I go to a mall with all types of cis women around, I’m actually pretty average in size, often times, the same or smaller/skinnier in every dimension. If I walk in to store where a lot of women with Samoan ethnic backgrounds are hanging out, I’m literally the tiniest and shortest person there, even with heels. It’s all in context I think.

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      • #638348
        Gabriela Romani
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        Carmen,

        Same for me. When My evil twin goes with my wife or daughter to one of the Hispanic markets, even they look tall next to most other women. So I would look well even taller!
        However, when in the context of the general population, I’m closer to the average height for women. (Southern ladies are in general bigger than Northern ladies, as far as I have noticed first hand)

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      • #638206
        Kim Dahlenbergen
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        Registered On: November 18, 2019
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        I am one of those people 6’3’’ and athletically built…but honeslty, you would be surprised how little notice I get when I go out. I’m seldom the tallest woman, and most certainly not the physcially largest in other dimensions. Maybe people notice but are indifferent. Maybe I do a good job of blending in…or maybe its a bit of both.

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    • #634971
      Sandy Honey
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      Registered On: February 24, 2021
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      I answered yes but to me not always. Yesterday I was in Belk’s dressed as Sandy and two women walked up to me and  said ma’am do you work here. I’m 6 foot tall but was dressed in a nice dress, stockings and flats. I had on hoop earrings, bracelets and necklace. I didn’t have on any hip or butt pads since the dress was an empire fit with a swing type bottom and you wouldn’t see any form with that kind of dress. I think the kind of clothing you wear goes a long way to help us tall girls. But I do know, go out stand tall and walk proudly and you will enjoy yourself and it will be ok. Besides I see quite a number of GG’s that are as tall or taller than me when out.

      Sandy

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    • #634970
      Michelle McQueen
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      I voted yes. A while back I wrote a poll about height and most agreed it was a quick giveaway.

      I’m six foot, 210lbs, broad shoulders, a narrow butt and a long ponytail in a scrunchie. I daily wear a pastel womens tee or blouse, my forearms are shaven as well as my face, my nails are gloss polished, I use womens deodorant, and I underdress with panties and a bra. Looking like I do, I’m always addressed as Sir and never as Ma’am. My height and build will always say male.

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    • #634957
      Teri Linnealis
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      Registered On: January 28, 2022
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      Terri… thank you first off

      TO ME, it is two things combined that would draw attention. The combination of six feet tall or over with the shoulders to feet WEDGE, wide in top tapering to narrow a floor is something few cis women deal with. I hate wearing butt pads but if you can get your hind end area to give you a little more “hour glass” you now become a more realistic gurl. Most women have butts, many men don’t, simple as that. Possibly the most overlooked feature in CD.

      PS- Patiently waiting for a one piece padded garment that gives you both hips and butt but don’t stick out below your skirt.  LOVE and Hugs, TERI

    • #634922
      Megan Kelly
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      Registered On: April 15, 2021
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      Great question Terri. What a varied response. I think that while wearing the appropriate clothing for the situation as well as your mannerisms and voice are crucial you can’t get ‘avoid’ obvious physical appearances. Having feminine features (nice hair, skinny legs, hips and breasts) can distract from masculine features, but they cannot hide them. I guess it comes down to the extent that the individual is comfortable with.

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    • #634909
      Trish White
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      Registered On: December 2, 2021
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      CIS women come in all shapes and sizes as do Crossdressers. I honestly believe that how you present yourself and are confident in how you present yourself I don’t think stature has anything to do with whether or not you’re pegged as a crossdresser. If you show you are a confident women in your presentation that is how you will be perceived I think.

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    • #634886
      Susan Scott
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      Registered On: February 23, 2022
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      Let me add that I love going out, but I go to friendly destinations wether it be TG get together or just a few drinks at a LGBT bar or club. I don’t think you have to pass to enjoy getting out.

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    • #634883
      Alicen Thairms
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      Registered On: July 15, 2019
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      I’m 6ft4in tall and have a large body frame.  I dress carefully, mostly to blend in.  I go out quite a lot, mostly for walks. I had a couple of quizzical looks when I first started going out,  but otherwise OK so far.

      What triggers the ‘is it’ question is that something is doesn’t look right, out of place, or out of context, that draws attention.  A poor out fit, being overdressed for a situation etc.

      A year ago  I was out for the day, in a department store I saw a about 6ft tall slim woman with nicely styled grey hair, but something was ‘off’, she was wearing white sling-backs with opaque black tights and a mauve fur edged coat – when I looked closely it was a male crossdresser – the final give-away was a nicely trimmed beard. Strangely nobody else took any notice of him in the store.

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      • #634908
        Venus Envy
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        Registered On: April 9, 2022
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        Just starting to get out. Growing out my hair since retirement.

        With baggy pants and sweater, I’m getting

        “ma’am” in the grocery store from behind.  It’s an easy place to blend in as so many women my age and size come shopping in ambiguous clothing. I’m looking forward to ramping up my hair and jewelry.

        Not big I know, but it’s a thrill to know what I know. So a little femme goes a long way.

         

        Not directly related to passing, but I’m loving it.

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    • #634869
      Anonymous
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      I am 5’11” tall. I do not want to state my weight as it is a sore subject with me. I want to lose about 20 lbs and that is a long term goal I struggle with. I was at the store and noticed a woman taller than me. She had what I would describe as a medium female build. I would have never mistaken her for a man. She was attractive and was probably 6’1″ tall. The whole idea of passing could be made into a science. The science would be physical, psychological and spiritual. There is so much more to “passing” than having a perfect female body. And I have read stories about CD’s and transwomen who just throw all caution to the wind and say “I don’t pass and I don’t care, I am going out and being me.” So in a nutshell, I just rambled all over the place!

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    • #634836
      Carolyn Kay
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      I am 6 foot tall and a little large myself. I know both of these are part of the reason I do not venture out. That, and the fact my wife won’t let me, lol. All of the above may just be excuses I use to stay safe in my house.

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    • #634812
      Twilla Thompson
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      I voted no.  I think it is a total package look.  Accessories and make up done decently I think really sell a fem presence.  Oh, and just throwing on a wig is noticeable, good fit and style are important.  Of course shoes are the piece de resistance!  Maybe I am being too critical, but you asked and most likely my view hinders me from going out. But…

      I will finish that sentence soon with my own post!

      Toodles!

       

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    • #634810
      Susan Scott
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      Registered On: February 23, 2022
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      I’m a big girl, not obese but just large frame . I feel like I can pass easily as far as mannerisms walk and face. But if I’m walking on the mall with a large # of gg girls , scale is the problem. I just stick out.

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    • #634809
      ChloeC
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      Registered On: November 5, 2019
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      Years ago, like back in the 60’s and 70’s I probably thought that for a little until at one of my earlier jobs, I got put in a training class with a young woman who was close to if not over 6ft, blond, sort of attractive, although solidly built, but not heavy or anything like that. I wouldn’t call her a friend but we had no trouble talking to each other, sharing stories, maybe sitting together at a lunch table on occasion.  She was married and friendly, very bright, held herself quite well. It changed my opinion a little of the expectation of women being smaller, less physical looking than males of similar ages, etc.

      Now I live in a college town where the women’s basketball team just went the whole way, and most those athletes are as tall or taller than I am, and I see them around town.

      So, I guess part of whether one may be noticed may be the community you live in, the people you see regularly. If you see tall women regularly, then that becomes very normalized and in a way, I guess, it would make it all the more difficult to see someone and just by their height assume they’re crossdressing, if they have the desire to blend in.  And, of course, some people in all walks of life, don’t want to blend in, and that’s their choice.

      Hugs, ChloeC

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      • #634915
        Venus Envy
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        Registered On: April 9, 2022
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        Yes, college towns are pretty receptive. Students don’t care. We have a strong women’s athletic program, and a considerable of gay women.

        And underdressing with femme jewelry and nails is still a thrill as I am still reticent about how much I come out to whom

         

        population

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    • #634766
      Cassie Jayson
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      Registered On: September 29, 2019
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      I voted no, only because the town I work in is a collage town and have seen a number of what I am sure are collage basketball players. So if someone looks feminine enough except for her height, I assume gg unless I her a bass voice.
      . .Cassie

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    • #634763
      Tina Que
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      I am only 5’9″ but about 320lbs. regardless of how you are dressed, tall people are noticed. I think my facial features would stand out first.

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    • #634746
      Michelle Skylar
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      Registered On: March 18, 2021
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      I voted “yes” but I’m 6′ 9″ and I get questions about it all of the time regardless of what I am wearing.

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      • #638190
        Yvette T
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        Registered On: January 10, 2022
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        I agree, I’m a similar height and stand out and get people randomly commenting on my height as a guy, I’m really not sure what would happen if  I went out dressed.

        Y

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        • #638211
          Michelle Skylar
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          I don’t know how it would go either. Last week I had a young woman walk up to me and say, “I love it” and I was like what. She replied your height, I love it, and asked me how tall I was. I told her and said thank you. It was different.

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    • #634711
      Angela Booth
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      I wouldn’t say yes or no but stature would be a defining issue as tall women are not so common. Then the second glance, if the presentation is very female and conforms to a norm, the observer may turn away and think they’ve seen a tall woman. 

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    • #634687
      Gabriela Romani
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: January 11, 2021
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      Hi Terri.

      I replied “yes” but much more about the build than the height.
      The human brain usually only needs a glance to make an initial determination if the person they are looking at is a male or a female. Nothing to do with makeup or jewelry or even the clothes that person may be wearing.
      It is mostly about the body shape. Height may be secondary at that time. As species, we identify somebody who has hips and shoulders which are wider than their waist as a female. The closer the waist is to 2/3rds of the width of the hips/shoulders, the “automatic gender identification” will be completed.
      Of course there will be other factors. But this one is going to take place even if the individual is 100 yards away, or if they suddenly appear when we turn a corner. The closer they are when we first see them, the more clues we will get, and then the identification will be based in more stereotypical factors… facial hair? Long hair? Softer angles/more curves? Breasts or not? Makeup? Etc.
      and finally at some point, voice, mannerisms, movement, etc. and if you have been labeled a female, even if your voice is not “perfect” you will remain female on their perception, unless you are indeed talking 100% like a guy, but in what you say and how you say it.
      Just test this next time out watching people.

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