- July 1, 2021 at 5:07 pm #511971AnonymousInactiveTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
So my wife has expressed what seems to me the very reasonable concern that she feels like she is losing her man.
She wants me to be more of the man I used to be and less of Elisa.
This seems very reasonable to me. And if I were home more, that is exactly what I would do. But it is still difficult to keep Elisa in check, even though I love my wife very much.
If you don’t mind, please tell me if you feel (or have felt) the same way my wife does and if you and your SO have worked out something that helps you get the man you need.
Do you feel like you lost something when he started expressing himself in feminine ways?
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- January 13, 2022 at 10:35 am #611309ImannnBaronessRegistered On: January 9, 2022Topics: 0Replies: 3Has thanked: 12 timesBeen thanked: 7 times
Hi there !
So your situation is of course dependent on people and relationships but i wanted to comment because i deeply relate to it.
I too found myself missing the “male entity” to my partner when he began dressing up infront of me and expressed this to him, being very abrupt and stating that i “struggled to still see him as a man”. Currently i am suffering with an ear infection and was not in the mood to do a thing this morning. My partner graciously went to the store for our groceries and when he came back he fried up some sausages for us to eat. When he brought me the food he was smiling from ear to ear and after kept asking if i enjoyed it. My point in all of this is that i didnt fall in love with him because he was manly, i fell in love with him because of how big his heart is.
My best advice would be to just handle your SO with safety gloves at this time. Having said words similar to hers im not defending hers or my own, it was a moment of doubt and its something that you have to actively work on in your relationship. For some in this situation, prior intimate emotions feel at risk. She needs to know that youre still the man she always knew and you need to know that that might take some time for her to fully come to terms with.
- November 10, 2021 at 10:06 am #574468Christy Misty Lynn SOAmbassadorRegistered On: September 14, 2020Topics: 0Replies: 1Has thanked: 3 timesBeen thanked: 5 times
It is different for every situation. However I don’t feel like I lost anything. I gained a best friend and a person who is happier than she was before. Misty still has the same beautiful heart she had before. The only difference is the outside view changed. I love everything about her. And as far as being macho or alpha, let someone try to hurt or upset me. I have no doubt she would tell them what for as only a southern woman could. Also if need be she can and would turn into “she-hulk”
- July 21, 2021 at 11:06 am #520811Dawn WyvernManaging AmbassadorRegistered On: February 23, 2019Topics: 23Replies: 381Has thanked: 307 timesBeen thanked: 1588 times
Please note that this is a ‘Dear GG’ post and only GG’s or the originator can post here. All other posts will be removed.
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- July 4, 2021 at 3:11 pm #513219AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
- July 5, 2021 at 3:51 pm #513640Eileen BachBaronessRegistered On: February 27, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 153Has thanked: 82 timesBeen thanked: 686 times
Don’t be too harsh on others, Elisa. Few forums have as much GG participation as this one. Maybe because the SO figures this dressing female compulsion is your problem, not ours. But if the relationship can survive, it’s a concern for both partners.
Most of your recent posts seem less about the GG response than sorting out your own emotions and how to present these to your wife.
Regarding my own situation, my guy always had sensitive feelings he couldn’t openly share. Not until ‘she’ was discovered and eventually accepted, those sensitive feelings were able to come out.
Before my husband’s masculinity is questioned, he’s 100% all man, that also enjoys dressing female on occasion. He’d rather play with grand kids than swill beer and talk sports with the ‘guys’.
I haven’t lost my man. I’ve gained a more emotionally intimate partner.
- July 5, 2021 at 4:27 pm #513649AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Thanks again, Eileen.
That’s pretty much me too. Not that I don’t have a beer now and then. 🙂
A lot of CDs have some kind of deep need to connect to the feminine in an intimate way; we want it close to us. Closer than even our SO can bring it to us sometimes.
Like your husband, I’m 100% man. I just feel a deep connection (and a desire to stay to close to) the feminine. I think it has something to do with my childhood and of course the culture we live in today.
A pastor friend of mine teaches often about “father hunger” seen in various cultural problems we face today. I think “mother hunger” is probably there too.
- July 1, 2021 at 6:09 pm #511979BaronessRegistered On: February 27, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 153Has thanked: 82 timesBeen thanked: 686 times
This what a CD partner fears most. It was for myself and many other SO’s I’ve spoke to. Caught cheating with another woman is easier to deal with. But this? For many wives, CDing is a deal breaker.
For those that decide on the side of acceptance, we insist that a husband is our primary partner. There are those who stay in the relationship while hubby goes through full transition to full time female. I can’t understand how they could do that.
For most of our married life, CD was deeply hidden. Now that ‘she’s’ out, we have come to a compromise that works. While I do enjoy helping her with clothing and such, attending CD social events, even shopping together, my primary partner is male. No underdressing, he’s either a man or dressed fully female.
Our relationship is closer than before, feminine feelings are no longer hidden away. Masculinity tends to forbid men to show emotions. I knew my guy was a sensitive man, now I know why.
She has her girl time to satisfy urges I don’t understand. Who really does? On the plus side, I have a girlfriend who loves to dress up and watch chick flicks with popcorn and a bottle of wine.
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- November 9, 2021 at 5:18 pm #574136BaronessRegistered On: February 27, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 153Has thanked: 82 timesBeen thanked: 686 times
Mostly true, Eleanor. Many CD’s go overboard with a wife’s acceptance and ruin everything. My part time girlfriend has a half day each week and every few months, a special event day. Other than woman’s clothing that aren’t mine in our closet, not much else has changed.
Seeing him as a her was hard to get used to at first. All in all, I’d rather deal with ‘her’ than bouts of depression he couldn’t talk about.
- July 16, 2021 at 7:35 pm #518665AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Thank you, Rita.
That makes sense. I am trying to more sensitive to what SHE needs and not what I need.
Finding the best balance in that is difficult. I think it is appropriate for a husband to give up more than his wife, to sacrifice more of himself for her than she does for him.
Marriage requires compromise, and compromise means sacrifice.
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