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I’m kind of stealing from a poll I read here on cdh but I wanted to share. The poll read “can you be attracted to yourself?” and it started me thinking of a recent experience. As someone who enjoyed the feeling of an item or two and the fantasy of it I never really went totally en femme. Stockings , panties and the like always small things. After telling my so about what I was up to I decided to buy some stuff of my own. This started with pantyhose, a corset and a pair of heels that actually fit. I loved it and thought maybe that was enough. But I started to think while I looked at my reflection how a corset and on a hairy, flat chest wasn’t all that attractive. Maybe this wasn’t enough for me why not get some more things. E-commerce is a godsend or maybe a curse depending on how you look at it. I could buy whatever I wanted so I did. This progressed for sometime and eventually turned into the whole deal with makeup, a wig, forms etc. When I looked into the mirror I couldn’t believe what I saw. It was an attractive woman staring back at me. My heart raced I had butterflys in my stomach I was in disbelief. I could feel the endorphins coursing through my body I was attracted to her. I know I wouldn’t have passed but I felt beautiful and for the first time I looked it too. I haven’t mastered makeup or fully shaved my legs but I loved what I saw. I was taken aback when I heard my voice coming from her though. So many things went through my head as I stared. I wondered if this was what I would have looked like if born female. The strange thing was how much I looked like my mother when she was young. That freaked me out a little although she was beautiful in the day. As I gawked at the reflection I couldn’t help but wonder is this me or is this just a hobby. I always chalked this thing up to just a little fun but after this I’m not so sure. Maybe some of you who have been doing this for a longer time can explain the feelings I had but after being Melanie for a few short hours I’m not sure I can resist her.
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