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  • #678037
    Vanessa Luv
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    Registered On: September 19, 2022
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    So I am in a realtionship and it’s a secret that I dress and always has been. She does work away quite a bit (as did I pre-pandemic) so there has been and still remains plenty of opportunity to bring Vanessa out, which I love to do.

    Anyway, my dilemma is this. When I am not Vanessa, I just fancy females. Always did, always will. However, when dressed as V I have the strongest urges to be with men. And it’s not that I fancy them, I just want what is in their pants. It’s quite overpowering and startling how much my desires change.

    I acted on this once when working away and managed to bring a guy back to my hotel for a fumble and a “quickie”. It was ok, I guess, but it definitely made me want it again.

    The bit that I can’t explain is that I genuinely don’t find men attractive in the face, but when I’m V I just want to be ravished by a man.

    I guess I’m bi, but I don’t think I fit into the standard definitions of it.

    Does anyone else feel like this?

Viewing 81 reply threads
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    • #697588
      Madelynn Fox
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      Registered On: September 6, 2019
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      Wow. So many great and honest responses. I have come to terms with the idea that when I am dressed, I love that men want to have me, and I want to have them.  I feel like when I’m in Venus mode, I want to give the female me to a man and allow myself to enjoy the pleasure.  I can let my inhibitions go and enjoy being a girl, dressed to excite a man and bring pleasure.  Whatever that makes me sexually, so be it.

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      • #697667
        Jane Don
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        Registered On: March 4, 2020
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        Well said—I to want to be wanted–No Games just be desired & If the sex leads to a lomg term relationship so much the better– Would love to meet men who just can’t keep their hands off me, Who are proud enough of me to want to show me off, aren’t afraid of Public displays of affection (even feeling me up in public) Pleasing men is My ideal of a “Good Gurl-

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    • #694034
      Jess Secret
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      Registered On: February 18, 2021
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      Wow, the number of responses in this thread is insane! I definitely agree with those who have said that being with a guy is the ultimate validation for our dressing when it comes to looking & feeling attractive/sexy which it looks like is a huge aspect of the attraction to guys for those of use who are attracted to guys (or a particular part of them) but also at the same time wanting to actually have the same physical experiences that women have in addition to simply looking/feeling pretty. My guess is for most CD’ers it’s strictly about the clothes and nothing else, but there *is* a segment of us that also has attraction to guys happen as a result. Having a boyfriend I can definitely attest to all of these opinions and feelings when it comes to men. 🙂

      • #694055
        Jane Don
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        Registered On: March 4, 2020
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        many folks are at different levels on their journey–Some will stop part way through others will complete the trip–Unless I win big on the lottery, I’ll never get bottom surgery-There are many things in life where we chicken out or change our minds about or that Life got in the way so we didn’t follow through to the end– that’s just how life works out– (The best laid plans of mice & Men) type of thing-

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    • #694031
      Gwyneth
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      Registered On: January 21, 2021
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      For Everyone… Being “Fully Woman” Be Careful!! Once going down that road, it is Very “Addicting”!!!
      As they say “Once you Go Men You Will want it again”!!
      Btw, Please forgive My sense of humor But it is Very True..
      Take Care Ladies!! Jill💖

      I would have to include “for the right man!” Some men are really pigs!

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    • #693953
      Gail Rich
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      Registered On: October 11, 2017
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      I have never been attracted to a man. However, I have seen photos of cross dressers that appeal to me.while I have never acted upon such feelings, I am quite curious what it would be like to be with another cross dresser. Maybe someday I will try it.

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      • #693955
        Jane Don
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        Registered On: March 4, 2020
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        When in doubt just treat & talk to them like a woman–

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    • #693949
      Natalie Jones
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      Registered On: September 20, 2020
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      Call it a fantasy or curiosity. I had often wondered what it would be like to be intimate with a man as Natalie. During my separation and divorce I had the opportunity and decided to go for it.
      To me reality did not live up to the fantasy. I found it difficult to be submissive as a female after being the male in this situation my entire adult life. I don’t regret the experience and often wonder if I could’ve done more to make it more enjoyable. But in the end (no pun intended) I can’t be somebody I’m not. It also made me realize that if I’m going to be intimate as Natalie Id prefer it be with a female.

      Natalie 💋💋💋💋

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      • #693974
        Gwyneth
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        Registered On: January 21, 2021
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        My journey down this dark side involved curiosity. THAT didn’t turn out all that great but was with a CD. So I thought,…. hmmm! Being a very submissive male (which won’t get you far in this world), it felt right giving myself to another man.

        • This reply was modified 1 week ago by Gwyneth.
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      • #693952
        Jane Don
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        Registered On: March 4, 2020
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        That may or may Not change in the future-Just keep an open mind-

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    • #693929
      Abby Winters
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      Registered On: February 7, 2019
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      Well said, anybody in Milwaukee area want to talk about this?

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    • #693908
      Wanda Ovahear
      Registered On: October 19, 2022
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      I like pie.

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      • #693970
        Gwyneth
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        Registered On: January 21, 2021
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        3.14159

         

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    • #693907
      Chloe Apple
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      Registered On: August 20, 2021
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      I feel exactly the same. Guy me has zero interest or attraction to men but when I am chloe I want all the attention. I think the reality is that we are just two different people. Jekyll and Hyde if you will. We just have to accept it and have some fun along the way.

    • #693240
      Monica Delsanto
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      Registered On: November 4, 2022
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      I have thought long and hard about this.   It would be a lie to say that when I’m dressed and in “Monica mode” as I like to call it that I’m not bi-curious.   In general I do not find men attractive at all, but something changes when I’m dressed.   I start thinking about what it would be like to experience everything that a woman does, especially sexually.  In the past I had posted most of my pictures on Flickr and have had many, many men comment positively on them.   A girl loves to hear that she’s sexy and attractive and it was exciting to know that I was thought of in this way.   I don’t even think my wife has ever called me sexy (as a man….she does NOT like or accept Monica).

      Monica

      • #693257
        Vivian Verstockin
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        Registered On: October 17, 2022
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        Wow, what a thought provoking and evocative post. Monica, you voiced many of my thoughts and emotions. My first public display, as limited as it was, caused me to reflect on what’s next for Vivian. The one item that became clear is that if I can’t be attractive from the neck up then I will stay closeted with shoes and stockings. I want to be sexy; the woman I would desire in male mode.

        Then I had to chuckle as a I thought, “what a great topic for the Thanksgiving table” with my evangelical son, DIL, sister and BIL.

        Without CDH I would never have a healthy internal or external discussion on such a topic.    Vivi

    • #689236
      Mishi
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      Registered On: November 3, 2022
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      Well this has certainly struck a cord with a lot of girls judging by the number of responses!
      For me is has for many years been only an occasional stray fantasy of performing my womanly duty for some hunky faceless man while dressed. I’ve occasionally enjoyed depictions of CD’S and trans girls with men but never gotten into it in a big way.
      Aside from that my attractions and romantic interests have always been toward women and I have never felt the need to over think those other mental forays in to the unknown.I decided early on this journey that this was just me and wherever it leads is ok.
      Then, weirdly, after turning 50 my mind has gone what I will politely term as man crazy. It’s as if someone flipped the bi switch. Yes it’s mostly still about what’s in their pants but not entirely and it’s no longer limited to the idea of me being dressed and in girl mode either. I find that strange because I’m almost always in girl mode to some degree at the moment.
      I still have no romantic interest in men, I don’t see men in the street and find them attractive, not yet anyway but who the hell knows where this is going! I do know that I’m still into women, I’m not experiencing a corresponding lessening of my interest there, I just seem to have some new fun stuff going on.
      One last little anecdote because I had a rather interesting experience only yesterday, I became acutely aware of my young barbers arms while he was cutting my hair. Nicely muscled, tanned nice quality tattoo work, the sudden desire to run my tongue over them came as quite a surprise to me!
      I’ve talked alot about my own experience there but I guess what I’m trying to convey is that whatever it is it’s ok, certainly as long as it’s contained to fantasy you should give yourself permission to enjoy, explore and paddle around a bit. If you find yourself wanting to take it beyond fantasy then I guess it gets complicated at that point. I can’t lay claim to the moral qualifications to offer sound advice on that. I will say from bitter experience, that cheating can be a psycologically messy business, even if you never get caught.

      • This reply was modified 3 weeks ago by Mishi.
      • This reply was modified 3 weeks ago by Mishi.
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    • #689231
      Araminta Purdy
      Duchess
      Registered On: January 23, 2020
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      Lots of gender-variant people feel the same way. Being gender-variant often includes a variating sexual identity. Essentially you are sexually excited by your own femininity rather than any particular male’s masculinity. The male in question initially is a ‘stand-in’ for your own masculine sexual identity reacting to your feminine sexual identity. However, being the feminine, receptive partner in intimated encounters is often very pleasant and being a woman sexually can become the goal itself. Also, romantic relationships with a particular male is also possible. “Alice in Genderland”, discussed this at length.

      Being ‘straight’ is a misconception as it presupposes that one is attracted to a specific sex. However, males attracted to femininity are not attracted to all females and can easily be attracted to feminine males. It is gender that activates the libido and not sex (male-female).

      There is no such thing as being ‘straight’ as the popular conceptions of the term define it. One is sexual or asexual. Feminine-masculine intimacy is ‘straight’.

      You do not fit the ‘standard definitions’ because they are inaccurate and misleading.

      Araminta.

    • #689230
      Rilee Snow
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      Registered On: October 31, 2021
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      I can understand being secretive to your partner as I was for a while.. however, I’ve definitely dealt with the same thing. I’ve had male partners (only while I’m Rilee) even though I’m not physically attracted to men. Once I told my partner about my past and what I liked about it, we’ve discovered a whole new world of ummm “toys” lol that work for both of us!

    • #689226
      Donna Brooks
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      Registered On: September 19, 2022
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      I know one thing for sure and that is I am totally confused about myself right now.

    • #689224
      Donna Brooks
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      Registered On: September 19, 2022
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      I know one thing for sure….is that I am totally confused about myself right now.

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    • #689218
      ChloeC
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 5, 2019
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      Hi, Vanessa,

      Well, yes, that’s pretty much me, too, and it’s been a task learning how to live with myself. 

      When I was younger, I just felt like I was born into the wrong body – like so many others and which is almost cliché. As I grew older I began to wonder and explore the possibility of transitioning. Yet, for whatever reasons, fear, laziness, who knows, I continued to live in this male body and to an extent perform in public as society expected. 

      Sometimes I’ve wondered if what’s going on is a measurable under production of testosterone and/or perhaps some significant amounts of estrogen sloshing around.  Not enough of either to overcome the other. Or do I have normal amounts of ‘T’ but somewhere there are genes or synapses that conflict with my outward physical appearance.  I think it has to be some physical situation that hasn’t been explored nearly enough.  (AND I DON’T CONSIDER IT ANY KIND OF ABNORMALITY THAT MUST BE TREATED!!!  Except by my own initiatives…or lack thereof.) 

      So, yes, in male mode, I’ve performed as expected, married twice, children from both marriages, very active sex life with both spouses – with no desire to explore outside of marriage…until I aged to a point where it just doesn’t interest me anymore. Yet, my dreams, imaginations have always been there in the desire to be female, and have intimate relations with a male.

      It’s been tough reconciling all that but to continue living with myself, I do what I can to at least stay sane.

      Hugs, ChloëC

    • #689160
      Samantha Duncan
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      Registered On: April 1, 2019
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      I prefer to be in a relationship with a woman but I also too just want what is in a guys pants, it is a sexual thing for me.

    • #684813
      Lauren Ashley
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      Registered On: July 29, 2022
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      You know I thought I was straight for a long time, but the more I transitioned into Lauren and the more guys I met and went out with the more I realized I was attracted to the clothes, make-up, shoes, interests, purses, girl music and movies/TV, scents, etc. than I was the woman herself. I wanted to be her so getting close was attractive but I really wanted no part of her private parts other than to touch and explore as I was fascinated with them. Does that make sense? I wanted to be around women all the time because I felt I could relate to them and never felt accepted in my male mode growing up, always felt like an outsider around guys but the girls were always so comfortable and accepting. I had tons of girls I was friends with but only a few guys, I guess that should have been my first clue.

       

      I met my first boyfriend in High School, he was in college, and I would dress for him at his place and we would go do things and whatnot but he really was my first love and sexual partner other than messing around with some girls here and there. He was so fun, then he moved away, and I was just broken hearted for a long time because not only did I lose him but I lost my ability to be Lauren in every possible way. Took me years to find that again.

    • #681717
      Gail Bingyi
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      Registered On: July 24, 2016
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      Wow so many replies and pretty muc all of them cover just about everything I have felt.  I like the idea of being attractive to and attracted to men as a validation of our feminine selves.  It rings true because I am sure even GG’s feel that way so why shouldn’t that same feeling and thought process work for us.

      IN my experience which was very limited a younger gay guy flirted with me and eventually he bought a drink for me and we were sitting in the night club chatting away.  He gave me so many nice comments and when he touched my leg it felt so good I am pretty sure had he asked we would have been off to the car for a quickie, however I think his boyfriend may have gotten a little jealous cause he got dragged away before anything else happened.  But that encounter still plays a major role in how Gail feels about herself

      Love as always

      Gail

    • #681394
      Thea
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      Registered On: August 30, 2022
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      Thanks, Vanessa for bringing up this  topic, and thank you to all the ladies for have provided such interesting and thoughtful insights on what is a very complex issue.  It was this that made me break out of the isolation I’d imposed on Gabby and start talking to others, and I’ve been thinking about this response and “umm…ing” and “err….ing” for days!

      I am very happily married to my wife and have been for 35 years.  But when I came out to her recently she said she’d always suspected it.  In a wonderful relationship only the sex was  below par.  If I am honest in moments of intimacy I  fantasize (and have done for so long I cannot remember anything else) as being a woman in a straight relationship with a man: and  I can see all of him including but not exclusively his tackle!  I long for the embrace and fantasize at least as much about kissing, cuddling, touching, holding hands, walking together etc as I do about sexual intimacy.  Having told my wife about my dressing we have had some  difficult times: but seem to be coming through.  Amazingly my wife has refound her sexual energy and our intimacy is returning:  but I do feel really troubled and uncertain .  It does seem there are lots of different things going on amongst us: it’s just wonderful this is a forum in which one can speak openly.

      Thanks again for bringing this up, and thanks to all those who have shared their thoughts.

      Love  Gabby (very confused!) Xx

      • #684801
        Janet Woodham
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        Registered On: January 21, 2021
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        Thank you for this, Gabby. You have expressed much of what I feel and I too I am still finding my way.

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    • #681033
      Elle Jonson
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      Registered On: August 4, 2018
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      Such a fascinating and relevant  topic, Vanessa, as is clear from the number of comments it has generated.  Feminization is more than the clothes, makeup, et al. It is a wonderfully warm feeling – I call it the “pink tsunami” – that washes all over you, leaving you feeling completely “girlish.” And, when, you’re feeling like a girl, you want to do all of the things a girl does – one of which is to unzip a man’s pants and hold and caress what’s encased inside. Here’s where being “straight” intrudes. Though my favorite porn is of transfemmes and crossdressers performing fellatio, I am turned on by the organ on display but not at all sexually aroused by its, uh, owner. Thus, my solution, as someone who is attracted to women and the expression of femininity: fellatio with other transfemmes and crossdressers. For me, it’s the best of all worlds, satisfying the needs that I feel when dressed while staying true to that which sexually stimulates me. After all, what creatures on earth are more attractive and alluring than ultrafeminine girls like us?

      • #681287
        Araminta Purdy
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        Registered On: January 23, 2020
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        “Pink Tsunami”! Excellent imagery and especially expressive of the overwhelming nature of the sexual imperative.

        Araminta.

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      • #681061
        Gwyneth
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        Registered On: January 21, 2021
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        Elle, I think you have hit the nail on the proverbial head! I could have written this same message without changing a word.

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        • #681079
          Elle Jonson
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          Registered On: August 4, 2018
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          Gwyneth, it’s so affirming to hear from a lady after my own heart. Muah!

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          • #681093
            Gwyneth
            Lady
            Registered On: January 21, 2021
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            I used to work in a very “manly” profession. When I got the urge to pursue the dark side, I tried to look upon my coworkers to see if I found any sexy. I could not! And I tried for years. Money, looks, talk; none of them could do for me the same thing a sexy lady could do in the same circumstances. But when I got in the “mode”, all I wanted was in their pants!

    • #680075
      melissa la quinta
      Duchess
      Registered On: September 29, 2016
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      OMG, what an inspiring story. I’m becoming more aware as I spend more time on CDH that there are many, many of us who aren’t quite ready to admit how great it would feel to be with a nice man, as a friend and lover. Hugs to you, Melissa

      • #682865
        Yolanda Beaches
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        Registered On: September 16, 2022
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        This is not the first reply where I have seen someone basically accuse many of us of being in denial over whether we are attracted to men or not. So I’m going to repeat the main issue again here so that it is clear to everyone – the main issue here is not being in denial over whether we are attracted to men or not – the main issue is feeling like we are hungry for their equipment but not attracted in the least to the person that comes attached to that equipment. At least for me, this is not about denial, at all. At all. It’s about the conundrum we are stuck in, because no matter how hard I try, I can’t fool my eyes and ergo brain into finding men attractive for the life of me. And I’ve tried several times to be with men, and at 55 , I know what I like and don’t like, and I just can’t get inspired visually and physically by a man, it just doesn’t work for me, and I have done a way above average amount of self reflection and introspection than most people. Granted, humans tend to be in denial about many things, I get that, as it’s a very human trait, but I want to make sure the conversation here doesn’t devolve into some kind of denial-fest summary that was perpetuated because of some misinterpretations of the original post.

        • #693917
          Coral Wentworth
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          Registered On: July 12, 2019
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          Yolanda, I agree it’s not denial, I have never seen a man that I was attracted to in any sense of the word and have always considered myself a lesbian at heart. One day out of the blue I found myself thinking about what it would be like. Over the last few years I have thought it would be aa great time to act on this, the only problem I have is I don’t find a man attractive but I would love to be with another cd of trans girl and have found many very attractive. Which brings me to the same conclusion as most, it’s what is in the pants not the wrapper. Another thing I believe is when you get up in age you tend to speak your mind stating the facts with not so much denial. At my age , I better be telling myself the truth I don’t have time for denial. Coral

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          • #693942
            Jane Don
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            Registered On: March 4, 2020
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            so true–we can wate a lot of life Denying our true feelings -PLUS-we don’t know if we like something if we don’t Try it–

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          • #693919
            Sara Cousins
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            Registered On: October 30, 2022
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            Well said Coral. Couldn’t have said it any better
            Sara

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        • #682963
          Jane Don
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          Registered On: March 4, 2020
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          I dunno–This “Attracted to” question is complicated—It’s almost like the whole question of Religion– So much can depends on How we were raised–If a person wasn’t raised with religion, it’s unlikely they will join one–Society has made most folks to be afraid of being Labeled “GAY” so that stops a lot of folks from even considering same sex action–  (it’s about what other people might think) – social Pressure “Can” stop us from doing things that are not considered “Normal”–

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    • #680013
      Yolanda Beaches
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      Registered On: September 16, 2022
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      pretty much the same here. I love, love sex with a woman but given the chance I will play w/men too BUT!
      They have to be smooth all over, and that’s not something that’s easy to find out at times. Men who are hairy are an immediate turn off. I definitely have a thing for men who are more effeminate and not pushy.

      That said, my experience w/men is very limited.

      OMG Becka yes, the hair, such the cringe reaction from me, hairy hands, arms, legs, the worst is the stomach and back, I. Just. Can’t…. Then add to that big feet, oafish proportions, no curves, all angles, the big man-brow and the smell, oh and the flat butt, and worse yet, hairy flat butt, YUCK… I just can’t do it…looking down in bed and seeing two big hairy feet bigger and wider than mine, that is so not in my wheelhouse…

    • #680012
      Yolanda Beaches
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      Registered On: September 16, 2022
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      Looks like there may be a bunch of us with the same “dilemma”.  I am mainly attracted to women, but my brain takes it that one step further, telling me that I want to look like that too.

      Although I’m not really attracted to men, I love the way a man can make me feel.  Sorta confusing, but I’m rolling with it for now, lol.

      Yes Boots, that’s an interesting observation. Because lately I find myself both wanting and desiring a particularly beautiful woman I may be looking at, but then also part of me wanting to look like her, be like her as well. And it’s weird because I’m not attracted to men but there is this weird part of me that wants to turn them on anyway. Which when you think about it, means I’m just a @0+£ tease. It may sound funny but that is honestly not my intention, being a tease is not something that I’d be proud of necessarily, to say the least.

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    • #679857
      Yui
      Lady
      Registered On: September 26, 2022
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      For me, as a starting crossdresser, I love woman and trans-woman. And when I’m doing a bit of “self time” as Yui, I do like it to have the woman role. For me it works to Fantasise to have a pre OP trans-woman doing things with me (yes, I’m still a virgin).

      • #679966
        Jane Don
        Lady
        Registered On: March 4, 2020
        Topics: 3
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        where are you?

    • #679854
      Yolanda Beaches
      Lady
      Registered On: September 16, 2022
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      I’m betting you’ll find many here that think a lot like you, me for one.  Probably the ultimate fantasy in completing the persona. Maybe validation. Anyway, I completely understand where you are coming from.

      Cody, validation is an interesting concept and I can see how it might apply to some. It feels like it doesn’t ring a bell at all with me, since for me it feels completely about in part simply expressing my identity (all this stuff I’m feeling on the inside) in a more feminine way and not being constrained/confined to just expressing myself as a man, and when I’m dressed similar thoughts apply to my sexuality, simply wanting to be a hungry harlot ready to be dominated by a pile driver and expressing myself in a typically more femme beta role (vis a vis the alpha top I’ve been used to all my life). But if I look at a man, the whole man, it’s a complete erection killer (and pucker-upper).

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    • #679850
      Yolanda Beaches
      Lady
      Registered On: September 16, 2022
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      Hi Vanessa,

      Thank you for your excellent post.  I have felt similarly ever since I put on that first pair of panties as a teenager.  I have concluded that it is not a physical attraction as such, but an attraction to the dynamic that is offered.   I have further concluded (much later) that my deepest attractions are to sister crossdressers who are constructed as I am.

      Pamela

      Pamela, yes, thank you for that. I have thought about this a lot too, and it seems to me that it’s all about the role playing and what I’m attracted to in terms of who is playing what role. I love femininity and all things femme, and can enjoy two women together as an example, and can enjoy a male-female couple of course, but male-male not at all as the femininity is missing for me. Likewise, when there is a trans woman with a cis male, the masculine and feminine are both present (regardless of what is in between their legs), and it’s that yin-yang thing that inspires me. Even a cross-dressed male (as long as he isn’t too masculine and can look pretty and femme while engaging with the cis male with her in a FEMME role [not the dominant role] can also be titillating for me, and the more femme the crossdresser the better in my eyes/brain/nether region. So it’s that role-playing dynamic, and the fantasy of being beautiful and femme and having someone ravage you, though that “guy” to me is always faceless, as it’s more about the dynamic and the psychosexuality of it all that causes these desires to want to be ravaged yet not attracted to men AT ALL (though for the sake of transparency I do recognize when a man is handsome and when he’s not, and I’ve had lots of hunky guys reach out to me on dating apps though I have not responded because the desire just isn’t there, but the fantasy and the thirst for the ravishing of the appendage and only the appendage, is, and that’s what has me trying to make sense of all this, and I’m 55!).

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    • #679847
      Yolanda Beaches
      Lady
      Registered On: September 16, 2022
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      That is exactly how I feel. I guess that part of us that loves the ability to fully express our feminine side had its root in latent homosexuality. No shame there, it’s just the way our clocks are wound.

      Melissa, why would you call it “latent homosexuality” when people like V aren’t attracted to men, but really only to the appendage and not what the appendage is attached to. Example: I’m very attracted to functional pre-op trans women (and been married twice to cis women), but I couldn’t get aroused by looking at a man even if my life depended on it… I can’t watch gay porn, it’s just so not in my wheelhouse, it’s a real turnoff, and seeing a trans woman be “dominant” with a cis male, ugh, total turnoff. Same goes for a cis woman being “dominant” with a man, that kind of ” adult entertainment” does absolutely nothing for me. Latent homosexuality implies that V would be hot for guys but is unconsciously in denial about it. Yet there doesn’t seem to be anything unconscious about her activity. Same goes for me, as I explained above…

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      • #681206
        melissa la quinta
        Duchess
        Registered On: September 29, 2016
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        Yolanda, very thoughtful and interesting reply, but I think I must respectfully disagree with your conclusion that latent homosexuality implies that a person would be “hot for guys” but is unconsciously in denial about it. When I started cross dressing late in life, I believed that my gender expression had nothing to do with sexuality or sexual preference. As my cross dressing has evolved, there developed a delightful realization that the more feminine I acted and looked, there was a growing desire to experience everything as a woman would, including intimacy with a man. No desire to have a romantic relationship… just sex.  When I’m in male mode I just don’t think about men as lovers. Nothing subconscious going on here, just the way I roll.

         

    • #679792
      melissa la quinta
      Duchess
      Registered On: September 29, 2016
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      That is exactly how I feel. I guess that part of us that loves the ability to fully express our feminine side had its root in latent homosexuality. No shame there, it’s just the way our clocks are wound.

    • #679749
      Nikki Young
      Lady
      Registered On: December 3, 2019
      Topics: 6
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      Thanks to all you girls for sharing your thoughts and feelings on this topic. I was never attracted to men before I started crossdressing and not really very much now either but I would like to have that experience just to see if it makes me feel more feminine. It would really have to be the right one, (feminine type) and me in the right mood. I dream of someday getting lips, hips and boobs but not hormones because I don’t want to lose my male functionality. I would like to be considered “hot” to men and all the LGBTQ’s but my main attraction is to “ff” trans women whether I’m en femme or straight.

      And thanks to the editors for letting us share.

    • #679737
      Jane Don
      Lady
      Registered On: March 4, 2020
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      when I’m “Dressed” I consider myself Female–so it would be Normal to be attracted to men–I’m a straight Female—No confusion there—so maybe it’s just how a person looks at things-

    • #679672
      Pamela Zozzona
      Lady
      Registered On: June 8, 2022
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      Hi Vanessa,

      Thank you for your excellent post.  I have felt similarly ever since I put on that first pair of panties as a teenager.  I have concluded that it is not a physical attraction as such, but an attraction to the dynamic that is offered.   I have further concluded (much later) that my deepest attractions are to sister crossdressers who are constructed as I am.

      Pamela

    • #679671
      Anonymous
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      YES! I definetely feel the same. It’s like when I’m dressed I fully embrace the female role and can do and feel like I wouln’t normally do as a male. So, while I am Madison I find masculine men very attractive but when going back as a male, it’s like just changing the chip and feel no attraction.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679654
      Jenny James
      Lady
      Registered On: February 16, 2022
      Topics: 1
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      Hey Miss Vanessa,
      Like you I was never attracted to men and my dressing was a desire for the sensations that it brings. I believe what led me down the “bi” path was watching amateur CD porn. I would see the desire that the men had for the gurls and how much the gurls enjoyed it. This led me to watching the videos while dressed and the incredible desires that began to absorb me was intense. I then bought a sex toy and would dress, watch the videos and simulate the action I was seeing on the screen and that was it!
      This is what led me to explore with a few crossdressers first as this made me feel it was somewhat “OK” because it wasn’t really a man if that makes any sense. This gave me a mental shield that I wasn’t gay or bi. I have to admit that this still didn’t fill the need I had to play with a guy who wanted to touch, explore and enjoy me.
      Us gurls have an advantage as we truly know what a guy enjoys. I have found that men who are interested in us tend to appreciate lingerie, stockings, heels and the other things that make us sexy.

      I have had a few great adventures with guys now and one terrible one (be careful gurls) and it is simply the most incredible experience.

      Thank you for having the courage to share your feelings!
      Jenny

    • #679639
      Kelli Marlowe
      Lady
      Registered On: August 4, 2020
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      it appears I’m in the minority here. Have never had any interest in being with a man.My ideal consists of being with an attractive younger genetic girl who enjoys being with me whether I’m in drab or femme mode.
      till then I have to content myself with being my own girlfriend

      • #679677
        April Sinclair
        Duchess
        Registered On: April 29, 2022
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        I agree for me I feel the same no attraction to males although some trans and crossdressers are very beautiful and or sexy or authentic looking. For me though my desire is to be dressed to the nines and be with a beautiful sexy woman dressed to the nines now my wife. That’s just me we are all different unique yet have many similarities and experiences which is why this is a wonderful place to be, share, and learn to further build understanding and acceptance of ourselves and others.

    • #679570
      Vanessa Luv
      Lady
      Registered On: September 19, 2022
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      It’s only by reading threads such as this one and realising how much of the content resonates with me can I sit back and say “oh thank god its not just me then”

      I wrote about similar feelings and desires in my intro post a while ago now.

      There are so many complicated and often conflicting thoughts that go through the mind. I often find it’s made worse by having the feeling of needing to dress ebbing and flowing. One moment an all consuming desire the next, something that fades right into the background.

      I wish any of this was easy to explain.

      Oh that’s so true Sara, it’s literally one extreme to another isn’t it? En femme = line up the guys, please. Normal drab mode = wouldn’t even look twice at them.

      Its so bizarre x

    • #679561
      Sara Scarlet
      Lady
      Registered On: December 18, 2020
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      It’s only by reading threads such as this one and realising how much of the content resonates with me can I sit back and say “oh thank god its not just me then”

      I wrote about similar feelings and desires in my intro post a while ago now.

      There are so many complicated and often conflicting thoughts that go through the mind. I often find it’s made worse by having the feeling of needing to dress ebbing and flowing. One moment an all consuming desire the next, something that fades right into the background.

      I wish any of this was easy to explain.

    • #679560
      Cheryl Ann (Cassie) Sanders
      Lady
      Registered On: February 12, 2020
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      I’ve been a bit surprised by the popularity of (and many posts admitting similar feelings about) this subject: sexual attraction to a man while dressed.

      I’ve been wrong, I guess, in my impression that the CDH membership is much in denial about these feelings. So, I thank Vanessa for this brilliant and courageous original post, for putting these feelings forth in such a straightforward way. I hope the CDH editors are reading this forum and allow more openness in articles about this subject.

      In my recent series of CDH articles about my weekend spent in New York as a woman with a man, I knew to be very careful in my disclosures, but still the editors softened much of it even more. (They did it brilliantly, actually, looking for and finding reasonable compromises.) But reading this forum through, I wonder if they had to do it at all.

    • #679535
      Jenny Thigh High
      Lady
      Registered On: August 10, 2019
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      As Jenny, I have been “ravished” by men before and honestly, those were some of the greatest experiences of my entire life. Yes, it’s the ultimate validation of Jenny, but that’s only part of the appeal. It’s validation, also combined with pure ecstasy and fantasy and physical pleasure. Absolute heaven. Plus, it does fill some deep need I have to submit to men. Can’t explain why that need is there, it just is. And I love it 🙂

      I love men. I started dressing to try and make myself more attractive to men. But to be honest when I really think about it, then yes, I’m probably less “attracted” and much more addicted to “what’s in their pants.” Totally addicted. It’s on my mind all the time, but when I’m dressed? It’s the only thing I can think about 🙂

      • #694024
        Jess Secret
        Lady
        Registered On: February 18, 2021
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        Everything you said Jenny!! Although in my case I’m extremely attracted to every part of my boyfriend, from his blonde hair/blue eyes, swimmer body and obviously you know what else. It’s about the complete package for me with him. 🙂

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      • #679563
        Jillian(Jill) Evers
        Lady
        Registered On: August 2, 2022
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        Hi Jenny,    Has me thinking things go “Hand in Hand” Do we dress to not only become who we want to be but also to satisfy the fantastic urges to be ravished? As you said, A Motivator to get all glammed up hoping we get seduced to fulfill our Dreams of  truly being a woman.. It is So Very intoxicating, The Passion, the ecstasy, The fulfillment, The losing any inhibitions and being in the Moment so totally.. It is “Absolute Heaven”.. No wonder it’s all we think about…..💖💖💖

         

        • #694025
          Jess Secret
          Lady
          Registered On: February 18, 2021
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          Couldn’t have said it better myself Jill!! One of the main reasons I have a boyfriend, spot on!! 🙂

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    • #679351
      Vanessa Luv
      Lady
      Registered On: September 19, 2022
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      I’m betting you’ll find many here that think a lot like you, me for one.  Probably the ultimate fantasy in completing the persona. Maybe validation. Anyway, I completely understand where you are coming from.

      That could be the best explanation yet, Cody, the “ultimate validation”

      Thank you!

    • #679346
      Cody Meow
      Lady
      Registered On: March 1, 2022
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      I’m betting you’ll find many here that think a lot like you, me for one.  Probably the ultimate fantasy in completing the persona. Maybe validation. Anyway, I completely understand where you are coming from.

    • #679341
      CelesteCD
      Lady
      Registered On: April 21, 2021
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      So many of you have captured what runs through my mind as well. It is such a relief to know I’m not alone in this regard.  I have yet to act on these urges but the more I dress the more it seems to be with the mindset of putting myself in this situation – to be desired by a male.  I’m not sure I would pursue them outright…however…if a situation presented itself to Celeste, she would most definitely succumb to them.   Thank you all for being so open here.   I feel like a weight has just lifted off my shoulders.

    • #679092
      Sandra Jones
      Lady
      Registered On: September 25, 2022
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      Hi Vanessa,

      I understand your confusion. I have experimented several times when I was younger and found that although I am in no way attracted to men I enjoy performing acts on them (sorry, its the most polite way I could thing of putting it).

      I cant say I can help with why this is but I can say its something we share

      X

    • #679083
      Rowena
      Lady
      Registered On: January 2, 2017
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      I’m going to say this as delicate as I can as I don’t wish to cause any concerns among those who monitor our beloved site…but I’m curious about something related to feeling more fem as I age.

      I admit that my breasts/nipples are becoming more and more sensitive (without drugs, totally naturally) and wondering if others are experiencing the same. Honestly, they are a main focus now, a true starting point, over other previously enjoyed areas.

      Was that said delicately enough? (smile)

      I feel talking about topics like these are very important to many of us, as long as it is done without being rude.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #680010
        Yolanda Beaches
        Lady
        Registered On: September 16, 2022
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        I’ve pretty much had zero erotic associations with my nipples my entire life. There was a strange incident once where when I was about 17 or 18, boys being boys and roughhousing and what not, sometimes (and largely heterosexually, no latent homosexuality tied to it whatsoever), once in a while you or whoever would grab some other guy’s nipple and give it a hard twist. We called it a nurple, sort of purple and nipple combined, purple because of the bruising afterwards. Believe me, it was so painful that it was only about inflicting sadistic torture on your friends, nothing more. What was strange about it though, was the one time someone did it to me, I felt not only the pain, but a sharp electric buzz or mild shock in my testes, and kind of where your penis passes through your scrotum, maybe near the prostate perhaps, I can’t quite recall it was SO long ago. I do remember that I was truly stunned. In part because of the sensation, in part because I was trying to understand “what does that mean, does that mean I’m possibly gay?” are questions I asked myself. How could a zap down there be caused by an action up around my chest? Not able to make any sense of it, and with zero attraction to men, I never really thought about it again. But it did raise some interesting physiological questions, like “are my nipples connected to my testes somehow?”. It was bizarre, and no one has ever tried to torture my nipples again like that, so I’ve never experienced the same phenomenon again, and I’m not going to ask someone to do that to me again simply to see if it repeats. What I can say though is suddenly in the last year or so my boobs feel more sensitive, and the nipples do too. I’ve never really thought about having them pierced either, until now, as I’ve been contemplating it for several months now but I’m not sure about it yet. My ex wife would occasionally want to suck on them, and I wasn’t really interested because it didn’t do anything for me. I have natural B cups which are great when I want to dress, and kind of a bane when I’m my cis self. But they’re still not at a point where stimulating them will necessarily cause an erection or anything like that, and I don’t know if they ever will be, that can only come with time, or not. But what I can say is, they are definitely more sensitive than they were say just a few years ago. For context, I’m 55.

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    • #679069
      Vanessa Luv
      Lady
      Registered On: September 19, 2022
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      Vanessa, i know how you feel , recently started noticing some men too.
      Since Danielle has become more self aware she is all over the place.
      My hormones and libido are out of whack!

      Just know you are not alone !
      Hugs!

      Tell me about it Dani,  I’m so pent up at the moment, I would likely explode if I was placed in a room full of men x

    • #678973
      Boots Deville
      Lady
      Registered On: November 20, 2018
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      Looks like there may be a bunch of us with the same “dilemma”.  I am mainly attracted to women, but my brain takes it that one step further, telling me that I want to look like that too.

      Although I’m not really attracted to men, I love the way a man can make me feel.  Sorta confusing, but I’m rolling with it for now, lol.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #678971
      Dianna Rose
      Registered On: August 18, 2019
      Topics: 8
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      Hi V,

      Your desires to be with a man is just wanting another female experience. I’ve had many (MANY) of those feelings myself.

      Dianna

    • #678822
      1968 Sonia
      Lady
      Registered On: November 14, 2021
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      Thank you Vanessa!!!!

      I feel exactly like you and it is difficult to explain….., in one psicologic analysis work I read that the travesti participates giving pleasure to the man and at the same time feeling like the man that is receiving pleasure, in some way we adopt the two roles at the same time.

      When I read it engaged perfectly with my sexual feelings.

      Kisses

      Sonia

      • #680014
        Yolanda Beaches
        Lady
        Registered On: September 16, 2022
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        That is very interesting Sonia, because when I watch a cis male being intimate with a trans woman, I too identify or fantasize being both of them interchangeably, sort of back and forth between the two throughout the experience. Before it was strictly seeing myself as the man, but in the last couple of years I increasingly see myself as both, in spite of not being attracted to men…

    • #678696
      Olivia Livin
      Lady
      Registered On: October 22, 2018
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      I haven’t taken the necessary time yet to form a reply to this wonderful thread but would like to acknowledge and thank the site administrators for allowing its content and direction. Its obviously something that many of us encounter on our journey. Please remain mindful of non-explicit content inclusion so that these kinds of conversations can continue.

       

    • #678562
      Vanessa Luv
      Lady
      Registered On: September 19, 2022
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      Ummmm Vanessa,

      you need to stop streaming the thoughts in my mind! LOL

      Honestly though it is a bit terrifying how close our thoughts/feelings are on this subject and how close they match.

      And it’s not that I fancy them, I just want what is in their pants. It’s quite overpowering and startling how much my desires change.” 

      When the desires first really began to hit this is exactly what I experienced. As I began to realize this was not going to go away and was only growing stronger with time I have really tried to take a step back when I am out and about and picture different men as lovers. I have to say it’s really hard to wrap your mind around. At the same time the desire to be taken and if I am being honest, to be a slut and as you say “be ravished”, is so overwhelming I know that if the situation presented itself I would not be able to say no.

      I am in the closet as well and in marriage so it is alarming to say the least. This didn’t happen prior to my marriage either. It came after so the dilemma seems daunting as to how do I somehow open up about this to my SO.

      So in answer to your question. YES! I feel this way and I can say with confidence it is only getting stronger. At some point soon I will have to cross the bridge of dealing with it on multiple levels but life is all about timing so I am hoping the opportunity to come clean and move forward finds me soon.

      Thanks so much for posting this. I feel really strongly this is something that a lot of us struggle with and it’s so difficult to find a space to talk about it.

      So many hugs,
      FM

      Oh Felicia, sweetie, i am so glad you posted this. I’ve  looked for explanations online and in all kinds of places but not found anyone else who felt like me, I assumed I was in a niche group of one and it really worried me. So thank you and to all the other girls who have stated similarly. It’s so reassuring to know it’s not just me xxx

    • #678559
      Felicia Mars
      Lady
      Registered On: May 2, 2020
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      Ummmm Vanessa,

      you need to stop streaming the thoughts in my mind! LOL

      Honestly though it is a bit terrifying how close our thoughts/feelings are on this subject and how close they match.

      And it’s not that I fancy them, I just want what is in their pants. It’s quite overpowering and startling how much my desires change.” 

      When the desires first really began to hit this is exactly what I experienced. As I began to realize this was not going to go away and was only growing stronger with time I have really tried to take a step back when I am out and about and picture different men as lovers. I have to say it’s really hard to wrap your mind around. At the same time the desire to be taken and if I am being honest, to be a slut and as you say “be ravished”, is so overwhelming I know that if the situation presented itself I would not be able to say no.

      I am in the closet as well and in marriage so it is alarming to say the least. This didn’t happen prior to my marriage either. It came after so the dilemma seems daunting as to how do I somehow open up about this to my SO.

      So in answer to your question. YES! I feel this way and I can say with confidence it is only getting stronger. At some point soon I will have to cross the bridge of dealing with it on multiple levels but life is all about timing so I am hoping the opportunity to come clean and move forward finds me soon.

      Thanks so much for posting this. I feel really strongly this is something that a lot of us struggle with and it’s so difficult to find a space to talk about it.

      So many hugs,
      FM