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first off, I’ll tell you that if the responses to this get out of hand, this post will be locked. This is not intended to be a warning, but an explanation…
sometimes we get pushback about moderating the site. We know that pushing too hard limits creativity, which we don’t want to do, but by the same token, we don’t want things to get out of hand.
I have heard countless times about how members like that we don’t have admirers, Gentlemen friends, trolls, etc.
We like to focus on things like presentation, relationships, how we feel, and, OMG! let’s talk about shopping!
I often get advice that we should change our moderating standards to be more like (some other site, which may or may not be shut down), and to this, I always give the same response…
CrossDresser Heaven is a family friendly support site for CD/TG/TS individuals.
It is not a fetish, dating or sex chat website.
it’s that simple, and just that hard.
We have a good thing going. We are a moderated site. We follow the mission given to us by Vanessa, and our Managers’ Council chats virtually every day about how we go about carrying that out. Whether in chat, forums, media, groups, our managers chat to ensure the same standards are upheld in all areas of the site.
Let me share an experience from yesterday… a new member was removed from the site (not a rare occurrence) and she used the “contact the managing ambassador” link to register her displeasure… I had to use little words to explain to her why she was on the wrong site.
The word sissy is considered a demeaning stereotype to many of our members, and sub, prissy, slut, and wannabe wife are fairly close to it.
We don’t go looking for trouble, but if such and such a site has shut down and you want to come here, adapt to how we do it, as the way they did it there obviously didn’t work…
Just my $.02 worth…
Be awesomely you!
BillieJay
Managing Ambassador
Thank you for keeping that site they way it is. Ultimately it is a great way for everyone to gain understanding feel support to have some excellent conversations and promote some thought in not only who we are as being ourselves but to look in the mirror of certain ways we say or do things which affect or can affect those people in our lives that we love and care about and are important to us. I appreciate and am very thankful what we all have here. Thank you and everyone who makes CDH a great place to be it is a family.
Honestly it’s nice to be separated from the admirers on this site. There are other sites we can go to if that’s something we’re looking for. I’ve only had 1 run in with a moderator, right after I rejoined this site. I uploaded a picture and it was denied, and the reason given was that it was a manipulated photo.. but it wasn’t manipulated in any way, and when I brought that up to the moderator I was told that they could see where it was edited. I had that picture up the first time I was on this site, so it was odd that it got denied the 2nd time and it left me a little bitter at this site. Totally over it now lol but I was cautious about posting anything for a while after that
Hi BillieJay i love this site the way it is a family friendly site, please don’t change it, I come on here so i can chat with the sister’s about all things girly and admire the clothes they wear, getting tips about makeup and hair styles and the latest fashions, like you said it’s not a dating or pick up site, if that’s what some people what then let them go to another site altogether, thanks for keeping this site as it is X
Hugs Rozalyn X
BillieJay thank you and all the wonderful staff here you keep us safe from the trolls out there ..When i started coming here i was alone but now have such a wonderful family of sisters that i cherish dont change please as this is the best CD site there is on the internet .. Again thank you to all the staff here 💋💋
Stephanie Bass
First I would have to thank all of you for the thankless job you do. If this site was full of sexual content I wouldn’t be on it. I don’t need to read about someones craving or sexual incounters. I think you do a fine job of keeping things civil with so many different people from different backgrounds and experiences. I view it as a support site where we help each other get thru our daily lives. Thank You.
Thank you BillyJay, I like this site the way it is. I’m not looking for “hook ups” or to be degraded. I’m happily married and my wife knows this site and is comfortable with me on here.
That would change if this site changed into a dating site or with men who aren’t CD/TG/TS hitting on us and making inappropriate comments. If fact, I’d just cancel my account if that were to happen rather than subject myself to such people.
Cross Dresser Heaven is the only place I feel safe to express myself and to ask questions that I can’t really ask anywhere else. I love it here so please don’t change it.
Thank you for all that you do.
Hugs, Jill Ann Quinn
Thanks, Billiejay and all others keeping this site so family friendly. Some time ago I was a little upset that a reply I posted was deleted, it was not hitting on or sexual in any way but hinted at a political view. I had tried to word my reply very carefully, but apparently not enough. Anyway this small thing is not a good enough to loose my joy of all the friends here at CDH and all the help you have all been in my Trans? journey.
Shortly before finding CDH I was on another CD website and some of the pictures and talk disgusted me soooo much that I was nearly ready to give up any idea of CD or transitioning. BUT now I am sooooooo happy finding my Cassie and she gets to be her.. Cassie
A few comments to add on to what everyone is saying…
First, being a tad older than many of you, I remember the days of going into an adult book store to find a magazine about crossdressing which was typically racy but my objective was to find something to help me understand myself. The internet really wasn’t around then so this was the only source of information. Whether it was a personal ad of someone with the same quest or maybe a vendor who sold things to help us transform ourselves, the goal was to connect and see if I could learn more about what we do. As time went on, more resources became available from bulletin boards to chat rooms. They didn’t have a lot of structure but it was a way for us to talk to each other. That then facilitated groups and organizations to be formed. So why am I giving you so much history…because I would have never thought that I would see a massive resource such as CDH where you can talk to like people, have a endless library of experiences, advice and how to’s, share pictures and realize that you are not alone.
For those that come to the site whose intention is solely sexual in nature and that’s all they’re looking for… You’re in the wrong place.
I’m happy to be an ambassador at CDH but most importantly, I feel honored to be a member of the CDH community with all of you because of what it represents. The Senior leadership that keeps us afloat and headed in the right direction spends an unbelievable amount of time doing so. Time that they could spend with their families or pursuing their own interests. Situations always look a little different from the rearview mirror. I can tell you from my exposure that we typically assume innocence and try to help people that veer off the road and get them back into the lane. Yet there are others that don’t have good intentions and for those we have to act swiftly.
Sorry for so long of a response. I just wanted to share how important CDH is to me and why. That I’m thankful for Billie and the others that take care of our home. Last but not least as I mentioned earlier, it’s “OUR” home so we all need to be all vigilant – if you see a problem tell one of us and 2we will investigate. If you see someone veering off the road, try to help them get back into the lane. Change the subject..redirect..be kind and respectful! That will cause leadership to have to jump in less. Many hands make for easy work. Protect our house!
Love you all!
Thank You BillieJay for illuminating this issue. Speaking as a new person here I am just in awe of how wonderful this site really is. It keeps alive a vital sisterhood for many of us to keep our sanity. Speaking also as someone who, admittedly has floated close to a couple of third rails. I realize that, while I may feel strongly about certain topics, the greater good is served by staying in compliance. We do not want anyone to feel left out of what is a wonderful thing. Keep up the great work that you do here! Everyone appreciates this magnificent resource.
Steph
Long ago, in a galaxy far far away, I was a member of another forum. They banned me just before I had decided to leave. The problem was that a significant part of the management was just WACKED. If your mindset and perspective didn’t match theirs, there was something wrong with you. I realize that it isn’t unusual for family, employment, homes, etc. to hang in the balance for those of us who have come to certain realizations about our lives, but that is no excuse to be hostile to most of the people that you encounter. That helps no one, so the environment was what I would call terminally toxic.
While I am a member here, I am also an ambassador on TGH. The sites do have somewhat of a different purpose, but they are quite similar in the efforts to maintain a stable and safe environment. Personally, I have recommended that a number of people be removed from TGH. It makes me sad to have to do that, but on the other hand, they stupidly ignored why the sites exist. I’ve seen similar behavior on a lesbian Facebook page that I moderate. We constantly get men wanting to join the page. I think they understand the meaning of lesbian, so it makes you wonder what the point is. Anyway, it is important for us to continue to weed the garden, lest they take over as weeds will do. It is in their job description.
Also, people come to our sites who may not be in the best of shape. Often they are dealing with a bunch of personal stuff related to being a crossdresser or a transgender person. Their lives are difficult enough as it is, so we should not add to that. What we need to do is remind them that they are not alone regarding whatever journey that they are on. They are not the first and they won’t be the last…
My thanks to all of you for keeping this site the way it is. Initially, in my search for understanding about myself. I looked at some of those other sites. None of it was about personal development or furthering my understanding.
If this site became like those others, I am afraid that I would have to leave it.
I can’t tell you how much CDH has helped me come to terms with my closet.
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