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Affect : the letter ” A ” means, ” come to me “. ( ” E” means go away). To Affect me by CDing is to Affect my relationships/ marriage, me absorbing the affects . We all can only hope that the ” AFFECT & EFFECT ” is a good feeling…both way.
My wife and I have worked very hard to apply the ” A” & the “E” to our marriage, communicating as much as possible over the rest of our lives.
Dr.T.J.
I have been with my partner for over 35 yrs and we are not married – and they are very supporting of my TG/CD lifestyle and knew all about it since before we got together. (This isnt on the list above .. )
Sure, we have discussions and resetting of boundaries every now and then, but its just a big part of my life that they have always known about and both enjoy it together.
Hugs
Dawn x
Hello Jennifer.
I have been divorced for 20 years which was nothing to do with crossdressing….we just gradually grew apart. Once the relationship was over, i just decided to let the pink fog take me and see what happened next…..
Since then I have lived my dream, year by year changing more into the person I need/want to be. I’m enjoying life more and generally, I have never been happier….I’m a ” glass half full ” girl…I never look back, just forward and it’s all good for me at this moment…..I wouldn’t change very much…..I’m such a lucky girl!!
Here’s to life🍾🍾🍾
Grace xx
I have been with my wife for 32 years. High school sweethearts. I marked Happily Married. Because we are not un happy. The spark and lust of the early years is not there, but we still love each other and want to be married to each other. My CD has put a strain on the relationship as she discovered it a year and a half ago. We do not talk about it alot.
Paula
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Been divorced for 13 years due to her infidelity. Seemed devastating at the time but looking back I’m so glad to not be married to her…she has developed into a sad mean bigot. After the divorce I was left with not very much but after a few months I noticed my back account was looking better, within a few years I was debt free then made a couple of real estate purchases and sells and now 13 years later retired and enjoying life. after the divorce I focused on my children and myself and started enjoying life to the fullest. Even though I believe a good marriage is a wonderful thing I will NEVER get married again.
Sandy
It definitely took some time, but we have now very much normalized my fluidity in terms of gender presentation within our marriage. We routinely go out together as girls, and I will regularly wear feminine clothing around the house, and there is basically no change in the dynamic at all.
Talking it through, seeking therapy, reading up on gender identity issues, and an abundance of patience and understanding is what got us here.
My crossdressing emerged during, and because of, a very difficult time in our marriage many years ago. In many ways it is what actually saved us from splitting up at that time and I’m very thankful for that – because I love and adore my wife so dearly and we have a wonderful life together!
We’ve now been married for nearly 38 years and are happier than ever. She knows all about my dressing, she was there when it began so it has never been a secret, nor a damaging ‘discovery’ for her. She’s not ‘all-in,’ we don’t shop together, she doesn’t buy me stuff, and she doesn’t ever want to see me dressed, but she accepts and acknowledges that it is a part of me and she supports me doing it within the boundaries that we’ve agreed to as a couple. Without a doubt, she and I are both in agreement that even though it isn’t all roses, my crossdressing has been a benefit/help in our marriage and has made our connection as a couple stronger – largely because of what it has done for me as a man and as a husband (strange as that may sound to some)…
Marcellette
Hi Jennifer I have been married to the same woman coming up on 40 years. It is my first and only marriage. Like many here CDing has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. I am fortunate I started going out fully dressed in my mid teens to local gay bars. I learned so much about my self at a very early age. I found out I did not like men at all. I found out I really enjoyed presenting .myself as woman I liked how it felt and did like how I looked at the time. If there was ever a time to go full time all the time it would of been back then I always felt a need to find a partner in life. That seemed to be the priority not the CDing. Do not get me wrong there was always a closet and a couple of draws for my fem clothes I dated a lot of gg woman and one post op transwoman . All were very lovely and all found out one way or another about my secret desire to present as a woman. When I finally met the woman I am married to today I did not want to scare her off. I went into denial hoping that my CDing would just go away. We all know it doesn’t So after she found my clothes and a few months past [ Very difficult months to say the least] I give her all the credit for saving the marriage.She did everything sho knew how to learn about crossdressers. Believe it or not it was her gay boy friend that educated her the most and helped her put her mind at ease.I me hin only met him once at our wedding . When she felt comfortable that I did not have a sideline gay relationship or I was not going to leave her she got involved.She came to the Tg/CD club She loved being around and talking with CD members any way it was she that saved our marriage that has lasted almost 40 years Yes Cding has had a good impact on my marriage She continually reminds me of how a woman would handle a situation . I will do the same by suggesting what I have learned from the male perssective. There seems to be always a compromise. It not about the clothes anymore It is about two people caring for each others needs and only wanting the best for each other. sorry for ranting Time to go shopping Luv Stephanie
Married long time, many you even know my wife on here. The name Venus Aphroditite should ring a bell with many. Yep that’s the little woman.
Yep she even knew about my crossdressing before we started dating, her kids knew to, my kids knew, heck, everyone knows.
I had the learn the hard way like other CD men. Keeping CDing a secret does not work in long term realationships.
So I let the cat out the bag right away.
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Married long term and she found one of my bras the second year which drove me into the closet for decades. Came out to her a few years ago and happy I did. She didn’t like it but wasn’t surprised. Today I dress pretty much as I want and buy what I want with her knowledge and its no problem. She does not want to see Michelle but knows she exists and knows its just part of who I am. We are as happily married as an old couple can be.
Twice divorced. Neither as a direct result of my cross dressing. My first marriage ended when my wife had an affair with another woman and came out (I think I subconsciously knew and hoped that would help her accept Elise). My second wife was just a terrible person who had multiple affairs and racked up debt.
Much like Sandy, I have since focused on my children and myself. Im finally happy (and solvent), and have no intention of ever being in a relationship again.
I was married before for just a few years and thankfully my ex never found out or post divorce things would have been very bad (did I say just ‘very’? I mean really bad! REALLY BAD!!). As I’ve mentioned here, I shared with my now SO very early in our now 40+ year marriage. We are happily married, but I voted no effect, because I keep it to a reasonable amount and in private. We did try to incorporate some of the aspects into our intimate moments, but, (sadly to say), I’m very heterosexual and so, girl/girl just really didn’t do any fireworks… or even sparklers. Now, intimate hetero? Well, yeah, most every moment has been…you know.
I came out to my wife as CD about 20 years in. (Should have done so on the third date.) She accepts but certainly is not supportive. I normally dress when she is not around although she knows that I do. We don’t talk about it anymore, but I do feel comfortable asking for tips. And can tell her the package that just came in the mail is ‘something for my lady friend’, or ‘today I answered the door while dressed en femme’. I would be full time CD but she is wishes me not too. If not married to her I would either be a bum on the street or fully transitioned.
Happily married. We had a few really rough times the first 25 years, but the past 32 years has been mostly smooth. And I’m happy to report that my Dressing has actually brought us closer together (much to my surprise).
I have to agree that not only am I happily married for the past 13 years but I have also found that it has brought the two of us closer together, she knows I do it when she is not around, she even leaves and takes our son with her so that I can be Robin. I feel that we are closer both physically and emotionally because I have shared and she has accepted and even gives tips and advice and has indicated the possibility of meeting Robin in person.
Hugs Robin
Single, somewhere between happily and “in distress”
I would love to meet and marry a MAN one day, who accepts Jenny.
CDing has impacted my relationships (with men) over the years. Many (most?) past lovers have not been accepting, which leads me to choose between the relationship or my desire to find a CD accepting man.
Still single, which tells you how that’s worked out so far 😉
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It is not making it better.
I wish I could be like a lot of you on here and come right out with it to my wife. But I’ve talked about other people dressing up, and coming out and doing their thing… and she has made it clear that she wouldn’t like it at all if I did that. We love each other so much, and she is such a wonderful person… but I think she just likes being married to the manly type.
There’s a part of me that feels like she could possibly accept it, but I was burned pretty bad by my previous wife, who I did tell. She used it as an excuse to snap, become very abusive, and run off with another local guy that she claimed was “a real man”.
After something like that, one tends to not want to try that again.
Our marriage is just fine. She has no problems with my living as a woman since it was her decision. We have become best girlfriends. Even though there hasn’t been any sex between us for 30 years, neither of us are celibate. We have even double dated. We love being in each others company whether it is shopping, going out to dinner, especially camping, or just sitting back and watching old movies. This is our lives and even though some may not understand we are happy.
“Happily Married” with the caveat that this is my second marriage. The first did not go well, it wasn’t going that well before coming out to her and seemed to get worse from there but it was a slow burn, it’s hard to tell how much the crossdressing really affected things. Strangely, after it all fell apart she took me shopping for dresses.
Also worth noting that marriages generally take work as people evolve anyways even it it’s not CD or gender related.
Not married but in a relationship with a great guy, and he *loves* my dressing! I would definitely say my dressing has strengthened our relationship, since I wear lingerie to bed it makes intimacy/sex more exciting, romantic, and special. It has brought us much closer together than I imagined it would.
Dear J.S.
That sounds like a great relationship you two have created, glad you found each other…life will be much more fulfilling.
Realize, in many CD marriages, there is little to no sexual contacts. This is a common response from the female partners or spouses when they find out about their partners crossdressing.
There is nothing we, the denied partner can do if this privilege is withdrawn. A sexless marriage can be lonely.
I would like to find a FEMALE who would like to discuss casual relations with a woman who dresses like me…and would want to relate to this Cross dresser.
It would be fun! Don’t know if, or how it would ever be able to happen. But…I can Dream !!
Dr.T.J.
Thanks, J.S.
Much appreciated …
On the positive side, I haven’t ever been this free to be me.
Dr.T.J.
There are a lot of great ways out there to dress that can make you feel feminine. For me, the ultimate, top way, is lingerie… especially silk. Nothing brings out that passionate woman in me like silk lingerie.
Probably should start an entirely new thread about how many of us started off with lingerie and progressed from there.
Hi Happy being single now was married for 5 years but divorced am dating others on and off Now been going with this guy for few weeks everything is working out great between us. Knows my lifestyle and changes that going to happen by end of year. And 100 percent behind me in support. Seems like great guy while we out having fun or at home doing same.
Think if have a good soild foundation in a marriage things will be the best.
Hugs
Donna
Married just once and proud to say we’re still together. 43 years now and happily married . Its only been 4 years since opening up to her but like any relationship not without its challenges.. like any relationship trust I feel is most important. But with many years together I held my desires and for that a our trust had been dangerously compromised. A very uncomfortable situation that caused a very difficult time. All the questions that you know could be asked and was of course why now?… In time things became easier after many intense conversations. She requested complete honesty with my intentions and where I felt I was going. She asked me to accept her guidelines and agree not too move forward without having her say. Importantly having her husband when she wanted and no one close ever to find out , two of her many requests. Sounds restrictive but years later I’m blessed for being allowed to flourish and pursue my feminine side. In time with both of us known how the other one is accepting my journey began to begin on calmer waters. Everyday becomes an exciting opportunity to explore and discover but to be able to sharing it with someone close to one’s heart ❤ is a wonderful feeling indeed. she’s wonderful and fortunate for having this opportunity as not many do and can only imagine.
Stephanie 🌷
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