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  • #454470
    Eileen Bach
    Participant
    Registered On: February 27, 2021
    Topics: 1
    Replies: 30
    Has thanked: 2 times
    Been thanked: 107 times

    Oh my, my first post! I’m a real woman married for 40+ years to a loving husband. Two kids and three grandkids. Found out he cross dresses about ten years ago. I really had no clue beforehand. It’s been a struggle to fully accept my guy looking like a woman. I still don’t understand why, but neither does he/she. I can mix up pronouns now and then, please forgive me.

    By finally realizing his need to dress as a woman was not a choice to be denied. I wanted to keep our man and woman relationship intact and welcome a part time girl friend into our life. We have rules though. I married a man, she isn’t allowed in in our bed. She has to dress and act respectfully in public. I will not be embarrassed by questionable sightings.

    On this forum, I hope to share experiences with other women trying to cope. And to offer advice to the budding CD in their journey to passing as a woman in public.

     

    EileenB

Viewing 12 reply threads
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    • #467480
      Jennie James
      Lady
      Registered On: March 15, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 22
      Has thanked: 17 times
      Been thanked: 38 times

      Hi Eileen,

      Thanks for all you are doing. I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts. A lot of us have SOs we need to be considerate of. And we’re all here to support you as well.

      Jennifer

    • #467464
      Michelle Newman
      Lady
      Registered On: June 22, 2017
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 2992
      Has thanked: 0 times
      Been thanked: 2217 times

      Welcome Eileen!

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #455763
      Anonymous
      Registered On:
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 12
      Has thanked: 22 times
      Been thanked: 38 times

      Eileen,
      Thanks for sharing your story. I feel so blessed to have a supportive wife to share this journey with and I’m sure Terri appreciates your support as well. Your willingness to support him and your positive attitude are the envy of a lot of CD ing husbands. I wish you both all the best as you continue on this journey together. Hugs! Brandi

      1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #467474
        Jeannie Jones
        Duchess
        Registered On: October 9, 2020
        Topics: 11
        Replies: 291
        Has thanked: 869 times
        Been thanked: 968 times

        Yes Eileen nice to have a wife who helps on the journey 💋

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #455593
      Paula1
      Lady
      Registered On: October 22, 2015
      Topics: 8
      Replies: 539
      Has thanked: 622 times
      Been thanked: 1213 times

      Hi Eileen

      Its so nice to have you join us here, I look forward to reading some more of your post it always helps me understand the way My So ids feeling, she has started to be more tolerant with my dressing and yes the rules are important

      XXX Paula

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #455571
      Eileen Bach
      Baroness
      Registered On: February 27, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 30
      Has thanked: 2 times
      Been thanked: 107 times

      So many thoughtful Wecomes. Instead of individual replies, I’ll just post a general response.

      My Terri moderates a local gals forum, mainly the Chicago suburban area, and been on a few myself. As soon as I get the feel how this one works, I’ll be more active. We choose to be on separate forums so don’t look over each other’s shoulders.

      It was December, 2009, I found out. He left a photo and compliment on screen by accident. At first I thought he would claim to being a CD instead of admitting an affair. It took other photos and actually meeting some of her forum friends.

      Final acceptance wasn’t easy. He lied to me. He wore my clothes. (That one still creeps me out) He’s really gay. He’s having sex with men. You all know the usual accusations. A search on line for information can lead to some very upsetting sites. Trust me. There is more helpful information now days.

      We never did couples counseling, I found meeting with other spouses much more informative. We accepting spouses would rather put up with, or enjoy, a CD husband than a divorce.

      Another rule I have, he can’t put on a bra, form, and wig, to relax around the house. This is my pronoun problem. I have a hard time calling my husband ‘her’. When she dresses, it must be complete, shave and make up. I don’t want to see him in a dress, I want to see her.

      There are plenty of husbands that waste weekends watching some dumb game on tv and getting drunk. A CD husband is a lot more fun to have around!

      Hugs, Eileen

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #455364
      Inga Krasivaya
      Lady
      Registered On: January 18, 2021
      Topics: 16
      Replies: 388
      Has thanked: 449 times
      Been thanked: 1294 times

      Hi, Eileen:  it’s always lovely to welcome a GG to the site – especially one as broad minded as you.  Please check out the SO’s group; the more sharing and talking, the more understanding and tolerating.  If you ever have any questions, please either drop me a note or (much more likely to get a sensible answer) post a forum question!  Hugs:  Inga.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #454958
      Sarah Du Hessisse
      Lady
      Registered On: September 16, 2020
      Topics: 20
      Replies: 432
      Has thanked: 2242 times
      Been thanked: 1592 times

      Eileen you are a very positive open minded woman, the CD world would be a better place and more tolerant if there was more people like you.

      Best Wishes

      Sarah

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #454847
      Alice Underwire
      Lady
      Registered On: September 16, 2019
      Topics: 25
      Replies: 2988
      Has thanked: 2612 times
      Been thanked: 6218 times

      Hi Eileen,

      Welcome to CDH!

      Alice

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #454812
      Stephanie Flowers
      Ambassador
      Registered On: June 26, 2017
      Topics: 26
      Replies: 4976
      Has thanked: 8677 times
      Been thanked: 8770 times

      Eileen

      welcome, it’s wonderful to have you here with us and for you to be here together with your husband is very special indeed. Help and support here is for everyone, for your husband true understanding of what this all means. Only a short while ago that I opened up to my wife after 40 years of marriage. It was a huge surprise for her and certainly very emotional. The biggest concern was the mistrust I caused. Seeing her and the hurt that it caused was hard. We had many talks and through this agreements and guidelines were set and together were slowly working it out.

      This this is certainly the place your spouse find many of the answers she is seeking. Look into our forums written by others who talk about their experiences, their questions they may ask with many offering help and advice so everyone can understand better on so many confusing topic . Many face this troubling ordeal but be asured there is support and help from everyone here .  Relax, get comfortable and both of you enjoy being part of this wonderful community that really does care for all that passes through our doors. And to you  lovely GG lady ,  a place to have your questions and concerns answered . It’s certainly a major issue in a lot of relationships. We all need a place to have others to talk with, to listen and show compassion and help better your own feelings as one continues to grow and discover more of this complicating  course in life  . There’s a group you may like to know  ( wives & significant others ) where ladies like yourself can offer their help to questions only you would like to ask them.

      https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/groups/wives-and-significant-others/
      No body is left out,  that ‘s what makes this such a wonderful place to belong. Best to the both of you and hope to hear from you soon.   Hugs!!!
      Stephanie 🌹

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #454498
      Teralynn Loving
      Lady
      Registered On: October 17, 2019
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 1144
      Has thanked: 10178 times
      Been thanked: 2148 times

      Hi Eileen, Teralynn here. Welcome to our wonderful online community. I congratulate you for accepting your husband’s crossdressing and you are certainly within your rights as his wife to place certain limitations on his crossdressing. You appear to have reached a good middle ground that the both of you can live with and that is always a good thing if both husband and wife do not want to lose their relationship. I have been crossdressing for 2 decades after finding out about Teralynn. When I did I knew I had to tell my wife of many years about it right away. WhenI did she had that – you have got to be kidding me, right? – look all over her face. But after I was finished, she realized I wasn’t kidding and that Teralynn was now part of who I am and was not going away. Now I dress everyday as Teralynn but also dress as John when it is appropriate to do so. I never wanted to take her husband completely away from her or their father away from the children. Actually it is situational for me and quite convenient to be able to bring my male persona front and center in certain circumstances. I really do not want to take the garbage out in a pretty dress and heels. I do not want to get in an argument with a bully as Teralynn either. Retired Marine John makes much more of an imposing figure to deal with difficult people. Both you and your husband appear to remain clueless as to why he does it. Perhaps I can help in that area. When I first learned about Teralynn I did a lot of research into the whys and hows of crossdressing. Believe it or not there are many legitimate reasons why people crossdress and none of them make the crossdressing person weird, crazy or evil. If you would like some information on that send me a private message and put the word Reasons on the subject line and I will provide the information. I tend to look at things from a psychological perspective since I have a background in that. Knowing why you are doing something and being able to explain it to a significant other can go a long way in getting acceptance and support. The site also has a support group specifically for significant others of crossdressing (mtf) people. I recommend that you join this group. The more you understand about the subject the more you can become more accepting and supportive of your husband. You will also get a lot of crossdressing people who will welcome you to the site and let you know how wonderful it is for you to stay and accept your husband’s crossdressing. A lot of crossdressing people would love to have a significant other like you. If I can ever be of service please feel free to contact me through this site and let me know how I can help. A post on my home profile page wall or a private message will get the fastest response. – Blessings

      • #455575
        Eileen Bach
        Baroness
        Registered On: February 27, 2021
        Topics: 1
        Replies: 30
        Has thanked: 2 times
        Been thanked: 107 times

        Teralynn,

        It’s not that we’re ‘clueless’. Mostly we don’t care any more. Knowing exactly why would not change him. It is what it is.

        Hugs, Eileen

        1 user thanked author for this post.
        • #455586
          Teralynn Loving
          Lady
          Registered On: October 17, 2019
          Topics: 2
          Replies: 1144
          Has thanked: 10178 times
          Been thanked: 2148 times

          Eileen it is not that knowing will change him. Crossdressing people usually have a specific reason why they do it and hardly ever give it up. But knowing may allow him to explain it to you in a way that might help you understand it more. But if neither one of you care anymore then you are right. What would be the point? – Blessings from Teralynn

    • #454497
      Araminta Purdy
      Duchess
      Registered On: January 23, 2020
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 344
      Has thanked: 590 times
      Been thanked: 1250 times

      Yes, rules can be necessary! Sad but true. That euphoric release from an extended imprisonment can rsult in the phenomenon known as, “THE PINK FOG“. It can be … spectacular and expensive. I suppose is that females have a head start on male who want to be feminine in several ways including starting earlier and, after all, cross-dressers are male and sometimes have inventive notions. I use ‘he’ when he’s masculine and ‘she’ when she’s feminine.Use the gender appropriate to the gender gestalt presented when feasible. Just ask if you are uncertain.

      Araminta.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #454495
      Bettylou Cox
      Duchess
      Registered On: May 26, 2019
      Topics: 19
      Replies: 2000
      Has thanked: 3882 times
      Been thanked: 7060 times

      Hello Eileen, and I’m very happy to see you here. My wife and I have been married for 56 years, and we learned that every marriage is built on compromise. We welcome your input to this forum, but to receive help yourself, you should go to the private forum: For Wives and SOs Only. There you will find other GGs who are working through the same issues as you are with a CD spouse.

      Hugs,
      Bettylou

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #454490
      Effie Fulk
      Duchess
      Registered On: February 7, 2021
      Topics: 21
      Replies: 540
      Has thanked: 1125 times
      Been thanked: 1737 times

      Hi Eileen , I’ve been married for 23 years and have never come out to my wife , I believe it would destroy our marriage and hurt her deeply..i sometimes feel like I need to say something but I don’t…If you have any suggestions feel free to share… and you can private message me also with any advise..

      and welcome to the site!

      💖

      5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #454502
        Teralynn Loving
        Lady
        Registered On: October 17, 2019
        Topics: 2
        Replies: 1144
        Has thanked: 10178 times
        Been thanked: 2148 times

        Effie if you need some ideas on how to open up to your wife about your crossdressing send me a private message and put the word Approach on the subject line and I will send you an Approach method that has been successfully used by some crossdressing people to obtain favorable results when coming out of the closet to their significant other. So many don’t have a clue as to how to do it effectively. – Blessings from Teralynn

        2 users thanked author for this post.
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