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  • #664939
    Philippa Parker
    Participant
    Registered On: March 13, 2018
    Topics: 5
    Replies: 19
    Has thanked: 1 time
    Been thanked: 107 times

    With apologies to Paul McCartney but his song title is on my mind as a metaphor for the way I way I feel about myself.
    Let me explain, I have been a transvestite / cross dresser all my life up until 2 years ago enjoying my dual male / female identity. But, then I retired which gave me free time & released me from social conformity for reasons of career.
    I started to grow my hair which is now below shoulder length and going out and about frequently as Philippa.
    The more I did this the more I needed to present as a woman, to the point that I have spent up to four days away from home femme 24/7.
    With all of this a deep feeling started to well up inside that yes I am genetically male, but every fibre of my inner self is female. In short I started to consider myself to be a woman.
    These feelings have now overwhelmed me in this total transformation that has bought me to the realisation that I am transgender. In two weeks’ time I start the process of electrolysis to rid myself of my much hated facial hair and are planning to go to see my doctor to discuss what I now recognise to be my dysphoria with the objective of being put on hormones. In addition I have recently come out to neighbours, family and friends so are no longer in stealth mode (so liberating).
    And yes I am amazed as a 67 year old that all of this has happened in the last two years.
    Have any of the other girls here experienced this late in life transformation?
    Love Philippa

Viewing 9 reply threads
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    • #665152
      Tara Jeane
      Lady
      Registered On: December 12, 2020
      Topics: 21
      Replies: 346
      Has thanked: 2208 times
      Been thanked: 1879 times

      Philipa, YES!  I’m 57 and have spent the last 18 months having the same feelings!  I’m still working through things with my wife and going slow, but my intent is to eventually transition and go through HRT.  So, as the other gals have said, YES, it does also happen late in life!

      tara 🙂

    • #665150
      Zenn
      Lady
      Registered On: April 4, 2022
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 26
      Has thanked: 36 times
      Been thanked: 116 times

      I remember trying on my mother’s bra at some point when I was young, was not impressed, can’t say I cross-dressed any time since. In 2017 asked the wife how she felt about getting my toe nails polished, next day we went and had them done. It has progressed to fingers and toes, kilts, skirts, thigh highs, panties, pierced ears and lots of earrings, growing my hair out and have 6 purses. I am public, I have informed my friends and relatives.

      What started it was a co-worker that was 3-4 years younger than I was diagnosed with a brain tumor, I had a thought it was “now or never” to explore this side of me. I looked at my polished toes for weeks and explored how they made me feel, what they said about me both internally and to those who saw them.

      When I bought my first kilt I wanted people to look at my Ass! One of my thoughts has been I will not hide, live in the shadows, feel or be shamed or feel guilty.

      I will admit to some anxiety when I first started in public, but that has subsided as most people don’t notice and if they do usually just go on about their day.

      I turned 69 in June, if somebody had told me 10 years ago I would be dressed publicly as I do I would have told them that had been smoking too much wacky weed!

      Zenn

      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #665315
        Fiona Black
        Lady
        Registered On: November 23, 2019
        Topics: 0
        Replies: 130
        Has thanked: 53 times
        Been thanked: 441 times

        Zenn,

        “it was now or never” – I had that exact same thought, went out, bought some clothes and Fiona was out in public very soon after. And I’ve never looked back or second guessed myself. It was indeed the right thing to do.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #665119
      Fiona Black
      Lady
      Registered On: November 23, 2019
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 130
      Has thanked: 53 times
      Been thanked: 441 times

      Phillipa,

      I was a closet cross dresser my entire life until blossoming into Fiona earlier this year. I am out in public on a regular basis and out to a select few people. And I am a few years older than you.

      Fiona

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #665046
      Rochelle Winters
      Baroness
      Registered On: October 18, 2021
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 6
      Has thanked: 57 times
      Been thanked: 22 times

      Ok girls, this is bringing up some issues for me. Just when I thought I may make another effort at putting Rochelle in the background and potentially purging again, this comes up. Thank you Philippa and the rest of you lovely ladies for reminding me what I already knew – and then some! It brings into focus for me the fact that the hiding ( to whatever degree) for a lifetime culminates at our later ages. It’s like a bit of anger and frustration builds up to; THATS ENOUGH! I can’t and won’t hide anymore. One of Lauren,s comments is so true. Just Crossdressing isn’t enough. And Angela,s comment about living a covert life really hits home for us doesn’t it? Thinking more deeply about this brings tears to my eyes.

      Rochelle

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #665007
      Lauren Mugnaia
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 1, 2021
      Topics: 11
      Replies: 259
      Has thanked: 2465 times
      Been thanked: 1315 times

      Hi Philippa,
      Yes, it is amazing! Most of us grew up crossdressing and had no idea what the future might hold. But for many of us, the increasing urge to be even more feminine grew and we developed what is referred to as Gender Dysphoria. The truth is many of us, at least myself and others I can speak for, always knew that we were supposed to be women. So simple crossdressing wasn’t enough to satisfy, we want to experience actually being and living as real women. It is, as you say, interesting how many of us fall into the same age group, late 60’s early 70’s, this is very common.
      I wrestled with the same thing you are going through, I knew that I had a history of crossdressing and my spouses, current and late, also knew. But the realization that I was actually a transgender woman had become so powerful that I knew things had to change. I “came out” in January of this year, told my wife, and it was announced to the world. My wife and I are now separated, her choice not mine, and I share a condo with another person, the mother of a lady I work with who knows I am transgender. I have transitioned and now live and work as a woman 24/7.
      Yes, life can get very interesting when you are being thoroughly pulled into the world of femininity, it is quite the ride, so hang on and enjoy!!

      Love and hugs,

      Lauren M

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664999
      Cassie Jayson
      Duchess
      Registered On: September 29, 2019
      Topics: 56
      Replies: 972
      Has thanked: 2282 times
      Been thanked: 4481 times

      Interesting question Philippa,I will be 68 in 6 weeks and for the last 3 and half years have been struggling more and more with gender identity. I have dressed off and on for most of my life, but really came into my fem self big time recently. So much so I have gone out as Cassie multiple times now and days at a time twice. I have partially come out at work and fully come out to some there. In fact you can read my adventure at my HS class reunion in an article coming out here in a few days. Seems that I am nearing the point where I will go 24/7 in fem. I am both scared and excited to see where all this is leading to.

      . Cassie

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664959
      Olivia Livin
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: October 22, 2018
      Topics: 56
      Replies: 1671
      Has thanked: 9652 times
      Been thanked: 4774 times

      Quite simply, yes

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664953
      Roberta Broussard
      Baroness
      Registered On: July 20, 2020
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 290
      Has thanked: 4160 times
      Been thanked: 1358 times

      It seems this story is often repeated. I don’t know if it’s the age or if it’s the extra time and freedom in retirement. Happened to me as well.

      • #664996
        Michelle Trott
        Duchess
        Registered On: April 7, 2021
        Topics: 1
        Replies: 490
        Has thanked: 1490 times
        Been thanked: 2181 times

        I think your right. I always had the desire to dress but frankly never had the time for anything else in my life. Plus as I aged I stoped caring if others approved of me or not. As long as I approved of myself.

        4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664944
      Diane Marie Rakers
      Lady
      Registered On: August 18, 2019
      Topics: 8
      Replies: 1092
      Has thanked: 1938 times
      Been thanked: 3795 times

      I am very happy for you, Philippa.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664943
      Angela Booth
      Lady
      Registered On: August 1, 2020
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 1103
      Has thanked: 4174 times
      Been thanked: 4931 times

      I too am amazed Phillipa. I have been a lifelong dresser and of a similar age to you so can know that back in the day we could never announce ourselves as such living a covert life. I had those aspirations to want to come out but it never happened until I was about thirty. It was a slow process but I started to get out and come out more to family friends and neighbours. I was in a good career and could quite have easily come out to my employers and worked as a woman but chose not to.

      Then, like you, retirement came along and my liberation began. It was almost seamless as I started work as Angela, so many people knew so it wasn’t an issue with any one. We live in more enlightened times and can live our lives as the true self.

      Enjoy your time and thank you for sharing.

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