Me

[Jackie]

Not sure if this is the right place to put it but didn’t want to start another new member topic with my story.

First off I would like to thank all the ladies here for their support and kind words. I had introduced myself as not being new to CD. I started dressing around 10 years old. My babysitter had a box of old clothes for the girls to dress in, I was hanging out with them one day and dressed up with them. From that day on I always tried to talk them into playing dress up or to hang out with them. Didn’t happen as often as I would have liked and she only babysat us for 1 summer.

Skip a few years into middle school and that is when there were “signs”. During this time I did try on my moms clothes and shoes. I loved it. But two things that really made me confused were:

1. There was a company that would send items to your house such as deodorant and other items girls or boys would need for puberty. I think they got the info from the school. Well I opened mine up and it was all female items. Thought going through my head was “how did they know?”

2. A male classmate had called my house one day. They didn’t recognize my voice and asked if I was my sister. Not sure why I answered yes and we talked for about 30 minutes as if I was my sister. Clarification, I don’t have a sister. The conversation made me feel good and excited until he wanted to meet up.

Then to get to high school. By this time I had “borrowed” some of my moms clothes, shoes and makeup. Dressed at home when I could, painted my toes on occasion. There were many times that I underdressed in panties and hose. I still thought all this was wrong and hid it from everybody.

I met my wife in college and all thoughts went out of my head for dressing up for about 2 years. We have been together over 20 but because of this lull is why I never told her. Then I started back with trying on her clothes when she wasn’t home. There was a time when I tried to get her to do makeup on me which she never did. I did get her to paint my nails a few times but she grew out of that. She also helped me dress en femme one year for Halloween. Painted nails, tights, skirt, she picked my shoes and did my makeup and hair also. One time thing sadly.

All this time I have been going through the phases of being able to dress once a month to OMG how am I going to get through life if I don’t dress now, but always feeling the girl inside. I never bought clothes until about 2 years ago I bought some thigh highs. They did the trick until about 2 weeks ago i was actually surfing for clothes. Amazed me to find all the people and shops that are like me and will cater to me.

I am still struggling with were I am, what I want to be but I know I love it.

❤️ Kenzie

[Fiona-Ann Moss]

Hi Makenzie, thanks for your story and i can understand where you are coming from. The feelings for being Femme can wax and wane over periods of time for some, but i dont think they ever completely disappear!
I take it from your post, that your wife does not accept/approve? i too lived in the closet, carefully cross dressing for 18 long years before finally telling my wife. Even now, things are not perfect, but at least i can now dress without the fear of getting rumbled! i did however have a few close calls along the way 🙂 .

You have taken an important step by being here. Now at least, you can make friends and feel part of a large community who all have journeys to lead. I call CDH my second home, because its where i get away from all the stresses and strains of society and its negativity towards many of us. There is none here, just help, support and friendship 🙂 . Good luck on your journey and i hope things turn out better for you.

Fiona xxx

[Robin]

Kinda sounds like my story. Although my wife approved at first, now she doesn’t. Although I underdress every day. Welcome we are all friends here.

[Anonymous]

Hi Makenzie, welcome! Thank you for sharing such a good intro story.

Your story of receiving the wrong gendered box growing-up reminded me of an experience I had when I was studying abroad in Japan. Now it only matters for the story that I say I’m 6’4″ and 220lb so I was a giant in that country. I stayed in a co-ed dorm for the term and someone had left a single pair of unopened plain-looking panties sitting in the box on the window sill of our main stairwell just out in plain sight. I waited a couple of days to see if anyone would claim them and then I just brought them up to my room and tried them on. Fit like a glove, I don’t believe in stuff like that but I swear they were left just for me, like the universe knew. Furthermore I’m a big guy and to find a pair of women’s panties in Japan of all places that fit me so well was mind boggling.

Just wanted to stop and share that story since yours reminded me of mine. It’s funny to look at the coincedences in life sometimes. I struggle with my own self acceptance in all of this, I work it out with my wife too, I love it at the same time as it doesn’t make much sense, it’s crazy but it’s also undeniable.

Again welcome!

[Patty Williams]

Hi Kenzie,

You just keep enjoying yourself,

I so enjoy all things feminine,be happy

Love patty

 

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