Viewing 48 reply threads
New Forums
  • Author
    • #737150

      I’ve personally not met any other gurls, but would love the chance one day. Just wondering how everyone else feels about this, and if they have, did it live up to what you expected, or if you don’t want to, what are your reasons???

    • #737157
      Davina H

      I am hoping to meet fellow dressers some day.  Reading the stories of those who venture out gives me inspiration.  I currently see myself as a MIAD, but are working on my makeup to develop a more convincing appearance.

      • #737158

        From what I’ve read so far, it’s not always about passing as a woman, more about felling you are and being accepted by others.

        • #737172
          Rhonda Lee
          Baroness - Annual

          Yes, It’s all about acceptance… primarily SELF-acceptance. If we love who we are we can more readily love others. And what better way to love who we are than to put on a dress, hose, heels, makeup, perfume, and all things feminine!

    • #737159

      I would love to meet other crossdressers but am not confidant in how I look.

      • #737163

        I totally agree, but if you choose your moment right, there is safety in numbers. I keep seeing loads of “girls” nights where loads of us would turn up. I’d personally love to do it one day. It’s lovely to be able to chat online, but it’s not quite the same as a proper night out!

      • #737170
        Rhonda Lee
        Baroness - Annual

        I could not imagine looking presentable as a female, had no clothes, and didn’t know how to spell “mascara”, let alone how to apply it. Having no clothes or any skills at all I found a lady who considered herself an artist, bringing reality to people like me. I was totally amazed that she could actually bring out feminine features and could not recognize myself in the mirror. A good makeup artist can do wonders. I suggest looking for a dressing service. Short of that, if you have courage, go to a MAC counter and ask them to see what they can do with you… or visit a salon after hours after first calling to be sure you will be welcomed. It is not difficult to find places where you can get a makeover nowadays, with nothing thought amiss. You’ll be glad you did.  Go early enough to allow time to spend time out and about afterwards. Or attend a support group meeting if you can find one in your area (or contact me if you want suggestions.)

    • #737162
      Rhonda Lee
      Baroness - Annual

      I had never met another until attending a Tri-Ess meeting age 60. I thought it a one-off experience, but it surpassed any expectations in extremely positive ways. I was impressed that the great majority are married with children, heavily involved in church and charity activities and more “normal” and caring than most other people I have come to know. Most of all, I was impressed with the love of the CDs for their wives, and, more importantly, the love of the wives for their spouses. It brought me to tears. I was attending in part because I was trying to get over my wife leaving me after 40 years married and pretty open to exploring things I had never dared consider before. I was not expecting to see what I found, but knew it was worth sharing with others. I spent 6 years on the Board as Outreach Director, wanting to help others learn what I had learned, hoping to save marriages, educate counselors and others with misguided notions and false stereotypes. This led to college presentations and other efforts to educate and bring light to dark, seemingly mysterious places.

      I no longer fear the unknown. I embrace it. There is nothing more freeing than shedding the illusions that bind us to false ways of thinking… getting personally involved. Presenting in front of a classrooms or church congregation or freeing Rhonda to actively participate in co-ed groups while en femme overcame my fears of public speaking. I learned the art of self-acceptance and acceptance of others. Feeling comfortable in my own skin wherever I went brought me from the brink of suicide into an exciting world I never knew existed, one where I now feel totally free to embrace and express a feminine side I had long suppressed and offer a welcoming hand to many I previously dismissed as having little to offer. Recognizing one’s prejudices is sobering. Overcoming them opens up a new world of joy and freedom!

      • #737164

        Well, I can’t really follow that, you said it all. Thank you for sharing

    • #737169

      It’s the best thing ever.
      Don’t worry how you look!

      Just be yourself and you will be surprised …we all are not perfect.

      Some of the girls I have met are now closer than my long term non Carole friends as they know the real me and understand me.




    • #737174

      I have not worked up the courage to go out fully dressed yet. I have no issues being around the house fully dressed and going outside but I just can’t work up the courage to go somewhere I might meet others. I recently told one of my close friends about Syndee and she fully supports me. She is excited and wants to have a girls night out with her, my other friend and my wife. All of them have agreed to do it and I know that there are local places that are safe and supportive. I just need to work up the courage to do it.

    • #737187

      In September 1979, I went for a makeover from a woman who ran a transformation business from her home. She mentioned she has parties at her home.

      In December, I left work early to attend a “pre-Christmas party” event. I couldn’t stay for the party (I was expected home), but met my first few crossdressers/trans women.

      By Febrary 1980, I was attending monthly parties at her home. In October of that year, I was even in a show she put on as a celebration of 5 years in business.

      Since then I have met many crossdressers, trans women, and supporters (both male and female).

      In April 2013, I attended my first conference in Albany, NY. In March 2023 I attended my first Keystone conference.

      I started attending another group (a former Tri-Ess that broke off from them) and started attending these meetings as well. The other parties were becoming less regular.

      A few years ago the woman who did my makeover and threw the parties had to close up shop and move. I still keep in touch with her, having attended so many events, both in and out of her home.

      I was surprised how many beautiful women don’t even attempt to feminize their voice. But even when in public, I see no reaction when they hear a male voice coming from what looks like a woman.

      So yes, I’ve met plenty of crossdressers over the years.

    • #737195
      Caty Ryan

      As I often state on this site, “being one of the more “mature members””, I can go back quite a few decades to my first meeting with a CD, First up here in Melbourne, but in drab of course. Then as  my job gradually expanded into frequent interstate and international travel, I met up with lots of other lovely, (and some not so lovely)  CD’s. Initially most Australian capitals then UK, America and Canada were my main occasions. Mostly that’s cos the above is where most of my travel took me to, including over the years 3 CD formals/conferences.

      Loaded to the gills with clothes for “both of us”, including make up,  breast forms and wigs etc. Product samples and literature etc etc.

      Again, to repeat a couple of my hoary old one liners. Comments made to me by “persons various”

      “All that travel must be a real drag”

      ” You have enough luggage there for two”

      Response?? Yes, well quite so”

      These days I belong to a lovely little private CD email group and have on odd occasions met up with some of them, either in drab or as Caty.


      Happy dressing







    • #737205

      I went to a pub night with the Xpressions group in Toronto and met a group of lovely ladies.  Other than that I met another at my fav shoe store dsw.

    • #737207

      I used to work with a transgender woman so I voted yes. I never talked to her about gender things, I was still in denial about myself at the time. She was a very nice person and we worked well together.

    • #737211

      I would love to go out and meet other cross dressers but (there is always a but) so far I’ve only plucked up the courage to go see my GG friend, she’s the only one who knows about Jem and is so supportive and living 10 minutes away by car is just about as far as I’ve been out

      We joke sometimes about going to “Leeds first Friday” luckily I live in Leeds (Uk) so not too far to get there but the thought of getting in a taxi and walking around a city that I frequent in drab petrifies me…… what if I see someone who I know what if my friend sees someone she knows so many what ifs go round in my head 🤯

      One day I will pluck up the courage to go to Leeds first Friday I already have an outfit in mind 😂 but for now baby steps

      Jem x

      • #737238

        It’s good that you have a GG to share Jen with.  What is your planned outfit by the way??

        • #737267

          I’ve got a faux leather jumpsuit paired with a blazer (the one on my profile picture) and black heeled boots

          probably the same wig and makeup as my profile picture too 😊

          Jem x


      • #737256

        Just grab the bull by the horns. Really, believe me when I say nobody cares, the second look sometimes happens, but you just walk through it, dont stop and hold your head up and keep going. The first time out is such a gigantic thrill, you will never forget it. The heart thumping out of your chest, the nervousness of being aware of you dressed as a woman. It sounds horrendous but it such a rush. It soon wears down, the more you go out, the more you get used to it and it becomes the norm. I really wish I could accompany you just make you feel a bit more comfortable. Have you looked at the Beaumont Society, its a society specifically ( or was 35 years ago) for crossdressers. Maybe the have a support group in your area. I live in the Netherlands, we have a network of such groups, we offer support and do a sort of buddy system to help get T’s and CD’s out there. My local has two evenings a month, one open in a public bar and one closed in a community centre. The closed evening is bit like having stabilisers on your bike until you feel comfortable enough to go to the public open evening. Whatever you do, do it with gusto and you’ll blend.

    • #737235

      I have met quite a few others, most of which were at keystone. Meeting others is truly special and will make you feel so accepted. Many of us are held back by concerns about our presentation so I would suggest doing it in drab at least at first. Having a conversation with someone who understands us in a way outsiders don’t, has been life changing for me personally. Even in drab I had a great time and it opened a new world to me.

      • #737240

        I did t realise you could go to those sort of events in drab, certainly a good idea just to break the ice.

        • #737264

          You could attend that kind of event in drab but I did not. I was referring to the first time I had met another dresser which was about a year before keystone, but that meeting lead me to meeting her dressed a couple of months later. That first drab meeting took away the fear of the unknown I learned that most cds are good people and I that maybe I could find a community of folks like me. The more cds I meet the more I’m reminded that I’m not alone in this. As I said it was a life changing event for me.

        • #737279
          Rhonda Lee
          Baroness - Annual

          For Tri-Ess meetings, at least, most people come en drab until they feel comfortable dressing. Even veterans dress en drab now and then, or even regularly, for various reasons. The rule is, whatever you do, present fully male or fully female… nothing in between. And if you dress en femme, dress to blend in… no cocktail dress in a Taco Bell, no slutty attire, mini-skirts or anything that would cause you to stand out in the crowd for wearing attire generally deemed inappropriate for the venue.  We are representatives of a larger population and among the few who get out in public, so want to establish a good image that fairly reflects who we are and benefits our sisters everywhere.

          I personally would not participate in a drag show, although often asked, because of the perception that all crossdressers do drag and are gay, maybe only come out at night to do adults-only entertainment. I try to use such “opportunities” as teachable moments. We realize we are blessed to have both feminine and masculine sides and are free to express either as we elect. It’s who we are, not what we do. that counts most. Who we are does not change, however we dress.

          • #738159

            Hi First I’m not trying to be being mean. But I take offense to your clubs rules! “The rule is, whatever you do, present fully male or fully female… nothing in between.” All people are different so there is a in-between!
            So if I wear panties and a bra under male clothes, I’m not welcome! Or if I wear my female jeans a blouse and heels, but no make-up and a wig, I’m not welcome.
            My face wouldn’t pass no mater what I did and that is not what I want to do! I am a crossdresser! I’m a male who wants to wear female clothing but not become or pass as a woman. I have some breast growth that I would like to expand naturally.(maybe with HRT) No fake breasts either on me or inside me!
            Crossdressers and trans people want to be who they want, and that does include my life style! There are male crossdressers who wear dresses and have a full beards! Are they not welcome in your group? Some crossdressers like to dress what you call slutty! Not my style but as long as they are not exposing themselves, then they are not harming anyone. But they would not be welcome in you club! Your club should be able to help them with their dressing!

            The whole idea is to allow all people to be themselves and wear what they want as long as they are not hurting anybody! They don’t want to be censored for it. Thats what LGBTQ have been fighting for and a lot have lost their lives doing it! If people see someone and they don’t like what they are wearing or the fact that they are presenting themselves as another gender, then look away! I read your reply yesterday and thought about it for a long time. I felt I must reply my thoughts about it! But please don’t be offended it is not at you but your club!
            Warm hugs Brenda

            As for meeting other crossdressers I would like to meet some and join some clubs and feel free to dress and look as I want to be!

    • #737245

      I held back on this, my own shyness really,  until the Keystone Conference in march of 2023. It was a wonderful experience as my reticence with meeting and interacting with persons I did not know fell by the wayside quite quickly. I am looking forward to doing it again soon.

    • #737254

      I voted Yes

      I think back now and believe my real passion to dress came from the very first meeting with another CD named Jackie in 2008. It was the most amazing day for me and we became very good friends.

      That day set forth a journey that has been incredible for me and the push to learn and grow.

      I won’t go into what I’ve done in this post but a large part of me now follows the “Pay it Forward” theme.

      Besides me going out all the time I encourage others to meet (socially only). I have hosted/co-hosted lunches for those in the trans spectrum for about 8 years now. At our lunches I will go meet someone at their car and walk in with them or sometimes just sit and talk if they want. I will mentor and help however I can with makeup and clothing. At one point I helped organize an apartment which we had for 3.5 years with the goal of having a safe place for others to come, dress and meet others.

      I do encourage others to meet but please be careful.

      If you are in the PNW of Washington state and want to meet some wonderful people please reach out to me. You can checkout my profile here for more info including a link where I share photos of group lunches and a few of myself.

      CDH has brought many new friends in my circle and those are incredibly special people to me!


    • #737259

      I’m really surprised with the results so far, I was expecting “yes” to be a fairly low number, but it seems a lot of girls have already taken the plunge. Also interesting to see that there are no votes for only wanting to dress in private. Seems like we have all either done it already, or want to get out there and meet other girls.

    • #737317

      Hi Katie I’ve ever met one other crossdresser and that must have been about 10 years ago, I went round to her house a couple of times and we got to dress 👗 together, it was so liberating to dress up in front of someone like me,

      My next step is to actually attend a venue somewhere and meet up with some of the girls, but i would need a professional makeover because I’m not much good putting my makeup on, if i could i would love to attend Keystone i see a lot of the girls attending Keystone and i just wish i could join them X

      Hugs Rozalyn X 🎀

    • #737334

      Great topic !!

      I have met a few ..

      My first time was in private, we meet on a web site .. exchanged communications and met at a motel.

      It was amazing to be dressed and with some else .. sharing the same things, feelings, was so exciting.

      I then came across an Organization on Long Island called Femme Fever. I contacted the person who runs it and was then attending parties that are held monthly ( I dont attend each month) ..

      To be with some many other special ladies, for me ,, feels amazing. You would be amazed so many are friendly and just happy to be out sharing this.

      I do agree with some earlier comments, please be careful if you do meet, try to get to know someone for a length of time, or meet in a safe space like a group outing.. etc.

      I wish you all the best as you continue your own journey ..






      • #737349

        Thanks for sharing your experience and also to all the other girls that have done the same. I’m starting to get a real FOMO.  It’s something I’m going to make happen in the future.

    • #737341
      Janet Woodham
      Duchess - Annual

      Hi Katie,

      Thank you for starting this topic, I have met another CD and would recommend it when appropriate and with due precaution as it can be very rewarding.


    • #737350
      Fiona Black
      Baroness - Annual

      Between attending numerous dinner events with a group I belong to that meets weekly in NY City and going to the Keystone Conference for the first time last March, I must have met maybe 75-80 CD’s so far. It is usually very pleasant and is certainly a relief to be among like-minded thinkers who accept you just as you are. You are able to let your guard down and talk about dressing, feelings, anxieties, makeup, places to go, family issues…etc, subjects that you may have never discussed with another person. With people being so open and honest, friendships develop much quicker than in the drab world.

    • #737370
      Wendie Cross

      I also have had the delight to meet another crossdresser. My first encounter was strictly by chance. I was entered into a hold-em poker tournament in the Belagio at Las Vegas. I’m not going to drop any names to protect privacy, but she is the only open transexual professional poker player. We talked and danced between day 1 and day 2 of the tournament. It was a very enjoyable evening. Here’s the surprise ending to this comment, * I wasn’t dressed * , I play poker in both enfemme and drab. I had a pretty in pink picture of Wendie in my wallet and when I showed it to her she asked to keep it. I wrote my phone number on the back of it and gave it to her.

    • #737440
      Carolyn Kay
      Baroness - Annual

      I have met other CD’s, 4 to be exact, but I was always in drab, as were they, except one who is a TG. It was so wonderful to talk with them and be so open about who we are.

    • #737450

      I have met a decent amount of other cds and even more trans women. I always enjoy meeting others. Though I have yet to go shopping with anyone, usually always dinner or drinks.

    • #737461

      I have yet to meet, I would love to, but since I do not drive it would be hard for me to go to them. I have tried the so call free to join, and have seen several likes etc, but you cannot reply to them unless you PAY, the two site in question deal with senior meeting, and its a $40 charge to meet, so I quit and block them both. SO far I read here of one individual that is 50 miles from me. She is 20 years younger, we could pretend we are mother / daughter out on the town if we even connect.

      I would really love to meet more folks.

    • #737475

      I’ve met several other CD’s. I go to a local group meeting every couple of months

    • #737482

      I’m wishing to be able to find the confidence to go out in public and meet people as my female personality.  I don’t know where to go; and I’m scared and feel ashamed of the body I have and don’t know how I can overcome those fears.  If I knew I could pass as a woman, maybe I would; but this horrible male body makes it so difficult.

      • #737489
        Rhonda Lee
        Baroness - Annual

        I suggest you find a dressing service or makeover artist. From your photo you appear to me to be more passable than you might imagine. If you dare, you could go to a MAC counter or Sephora, or other place that sells makeup and can give you a makeover and is known to be friendly to CDs and let them do your face. That and a wig, and perhaps foundation garments that can pull in the gut and butt pads that can help give you some shape, and you likely will be surprised.

        • #738696

          Thanks for being so kind.  I definitely agree.  I need to pull in the gut and get some butt pads badly.  I appreciate your suggestions.  Thanks


    • #737488

      If you are reluctant to be seen, many sisters will meet you in drab.  Should not have any shortage, there seems so many sisters in your small country compared to here in US.  My first  meeting,  both in drab,  talked for 2 hrs on our fem life.  From the first moment  we met, both couldn’t stop smiling at each other,  as we had a wonderful secret no one else in the restaurant  was privy to.    I met 2 others in drab, before escorting a dressed friend while me in drab.  Then took a the big step and was out dressed, became much easier than I thought.

      • #738385

        So excited to move n hat same direction.  Mixed with fear, of course, but the desires are sooo powerful!  Like no desires I have ever had before!

    • #737515

      This is a great question – just not one that is too easy to give a complete answer to.  Yes – I would love to meet my sisters outside of those CD group meetings that we all know about… BUT…  I would want to present as Holly, or that we both meet as our true, feminine personae.  I would feel really uncomfortable if I was en drab and my sister were dressed prettily.  Is this unusual?  It’s how I feel, but surely wouldn’t most of the ladies out there feel that they would prefer not to be the one wearing something pretty?  Is Holly weird or what?…  Love you all:  Holly XXX

      • #737606
        Janet Woodham
        Duchess - Annual

        You will find it is quite possible to both meet in drab to start with Holly and you can take things from there.

      • #737632

        I’ve never thought about it until you mentioned it, but I’m not sure I’d want to meet other than when dressed, both myself and the other girl(s). I think only ever meeting as our female counterparts would make it even more girly, but maybe I’m also a bit weird!

      • #737879

        I have not, but haven’t been looking either…until maybe now. It’s a complicated and wild crapshoot! Hard enough to meet a sane hetero woman, much less a sweet cd!!😄

      • #738519

        Not weird. I, personally, would prefer to meet any way that was agreed upon first. No surprises! And, it would have to be very lighthearted. Nothing heavy, deep or serious. A walk and laughter goes along way😄

    • #737538

      Hi Katie and everyone

      Until 10 days or so ago my answer would have been a resounding NO. Helen lived inside the house, when my wife was at work and then, once she retired, when she was away.

      But then I found this wonderful site. And through chatting to a very supportive lady on here (hi Helenmarie!) found myself going out for the very first time fully en femme. Dressed, make up, the lot. I had to het changed in the car, and do my make up with a little hand mirror, but it was fine. And I felt fabulous. Once I realised nobody cared, I really relaxed and enjoyed it.

      And I’d seen the event at Brandy B’s in Tonbridge advertised on another site. It just happened that it was the next night, and so I went. There I met about a dozen girls and just had the best time. Really can’t wait to do that again!!

      Got the bug now…..

      Much love

      Helen xx

      • #737630

        Sounds like it could be another addiction going out, I guess once you’ve done it once and know what to expect, it becomes a lot easier.   thx.

        • #737705

          Hi Katie

          Yes I think it might be. Going to the event at Brandys is probably safer as you can arrive in drab if you wish, and then change when you get there. I didn’t do that last time, I changed in the car and arrived dressed but with no make up.

          I could do that as wifey was away, but if she was here I’d have to be more careful and maybe go in drab. Its much safer there as you are in a private home with a secluded garden.

          Going out dressed and made up to the park is more risky, but very exciting!

          Much love

          Helen xx

    • #737540
      Liz K
      Managing Ambassador

      My therapist had been encouraging me to meet other CD’s and I agreed it was a good idea.  So I joined CDH and started making friends.  Within a few months I was out socializing with a small group of girls.  3+ years later and I have a hard time keeping up with all the girls I spend time with.  So yeah, you could say it’s lived up to my expectations!


    • #737727

      I went to a drag show with my wife and some friends en femme and encountered another crossdresser there. I struck up a conversation and we compared notes!

    • #737732

      I have not but would love to someday. Be nice to have a friend to share with. Shopping would be a hoot!

    • #737846
      Rayna Carlian

      I have gone to events like DCR, Wildside, etc.

      I have also been in touch with local groups like the River City Gems for events.

      There has even been a few 1 on 1 lunches with local CDs that I’ve met.

      Eat and chat for a bit and go on about our day.


      Have fun out there,



      • #737852

        Thanks Rayna. It certainly seems that once you make the leap and actually go out to meet others, and get over the initial fear, it becomes easier, and I can only imagine how nice it is to have proper girly  chats and also talk about things only other CD’s would relate to. Carry on enjoying!

    • #737866
      Lucy Bancroft

      Hi Katie,
      I’ve been out a couple of times, but so far it’s been alone.
      Meeting another CD for a coffee and a chat is something I hope to do one day, but the opportunity hasn’t arrived yet.
      The number of new UK members here is growing quickly, so I’m hopeful thatit will at some point


      • #737873

        Well I hope you get to do it in the near future. Sounds as if you are half way there anyway with going out. As I’ve already said, this is something I feel I’m missing out on, so I’m going to make sure it happens at some point.

        • #738291

          Hi Lucy and Katie its pretty clear we would all love to be able to go out fully en femme one day with others. I know we are all spread across the country but there must be a way we can do this somehow and go on the journey together. I’m only one very small step ahead of you both having done it just twice.

          I have no idea how we’d organise it, or where to hold it, or how we would conceal it from our respective SOs if we had to. But wouldn’t it be lovely if we could all get together and go somewhere fully dressed and just have a laugh and be ourselves.

          Much love

          Helen xx

    • #737878

      I have not, but haven’t been looking either…until maybe now. It’s a complicated and wild crapshoot! Hard enough to meet a sane hetero woman, much less a sweet cd!!😄

    • #737880

      This also got me wondering, if you are lucky enough that your SO accepts your crossdressing, how do they react to you telling them you want to meet other CD’s. Although mine knows about Katie, she doesn’t like to talk about it and I have just sort of accepted that I dress when there is nobody around.
      Even if she participated in it, I can’t imagine for a minute that I’d get her blessing to go out to meet other girls. There must be an element of jealousy or suspicion of what you get up to from the SO point of view. Wondering if any of you girls have experienced this????

      • #738181

        I am going through this now. I was going to my first group meeting tonight and met resistance. For now, I will protect my flanks and steady the course.

        • #738217

          Explain more? Resistance?

          • #738224

            Let’s just say that my wife put up resistance. I’ll deal with it.

          • #738225

            I’d love to tell my story about my previous wife, but not sure it’s appropriate. Besides, it’s a bit irrelevant since she left me right before Christmas 2022.

            Stories to tell. Be fun to post.

            BTW… I am not fond of the “ex” terminology. She will always be part of who I am.

          • #738227

            We are all waiting with baited breath…

          • #739371

            The baited breath breaks my silence. I have been feeling my feminine side all my life. The youngest of 2 boys, my mother always wanted a girl and so I got treated as such. But, this is supposed to be a bit about my wife who recently left. She always suspected….pause…I’m going to dress. Ok, back. Now feel me. Short floral thin skirt, white knit tights, pump strap white sandles, blonde wig. B cups with a new white lace bra I got in the mail today. Yippeee!

            Ok..back to the pause. My wife always suspected. It could have been my love for silk panties. I told her that the heavy cotton mens underwear were too sweaty and the panties were cooler. I came home one day and she threw them all away. Said it was not right. Maybe it was when I always liked to paint her tonails and then showed her I painted mine. Eyebrows up much!! Then the time I bought a wig for a holloween party and said I wanted to dress up as a woman. Her reply? “I don’t want to see my husband dressed as a woman”. Funny thing is, when we would watch naughty movies, she enjoyed so much the 2 women together. I thought we could make it a thing. But no.
            To this day I still want to confirm her suspicions, but what’s the point. We’re separated by 400 miles and never to reunite. Still friends, guess that’s why I’d like to confess. But I won’t. No point.
            Anyways, now that she’s gone, I’m Jenny whenever and wherever I want to be. I purged 3 times while we were married as I felt guilty dressing behind her back. Must have cost me thousands of dollars. Purge no more. Jenny is here to stay.


            • This reply was modified 1 year ago by Jenny Lynn.
          • #738226

            This was kind of the point of my question, and was trying to gauge what sort of issues would come up if I went down this route. You obviously don’t need to elaborate, but why is she not comfortable with it?

            I totally understand if you don’t want to say.

          • #738242

            Ready for a long story? I single finger type as I’m not one of the kids that thumb type.
            My wife suspected that I dressed and said so. Painted my toenails once and liked the lightness of panties. Cotton men’s briefs are a pain, but I digress. She once suggested that I wear her bra during an intimate moment. I refused, much to my chagrin. I thought it would expose me and my love for dressing.

            Then there was the Halloween party in…maybe 2007? I wanted to dress as a slutty woman. She said ” I don’t want to see my husband dressed as a woman”. I got so many mixed signals, I decided to stay private. I think she had inclinations to be with a woman… won’t elaborate on a naughty video once, but she was confused and afraid where it might lead, as was I. I think she knew and wanted me to confess, but I knew it would be used against me someday.

            Blah blah. She’s gone now. Do miss parts of her. Smile, laugh which were few and far between. I don’t miss walking on eggshells.

            To end this diatribe, I honestly think I could only have a lasting relationship with a CD, as we are able to be who we are and be honest with both sides of our identities.

            That enough of my soul?😂

            • This reply was modified 1 year ago by Jenny Lynn.
          • #738248

            In closing, I would just like to note that I am not soliciting propositions! I’m just being honest. Maybe someone else has had the same experience and I’m just here to tell my story and maybe help someone else who has had a similar experience.

            All that being said, feel free to let me know your trials and tribulations.

            I really care.


          • #738287

            Hi Jenny that story chimed with me. My former partner – we split up in the mid 90s – once did full make up on me. We were laughing about it but I got the feeling she would like it if I dressed.

            However, and this is a huge however, a few years before a friend in our group had come out as CD to one of the girls in our group. He’d told her in confidence, and she proceeded to tell everyone. This was maybe mid 80s, and the world was a very different place back then. He got totally ostracised. This was very much on my mind at the time, and sadly I decided to keep quiet. I often wonder what might have happened had I said that I liked to dress to her, but I guess thats just one of those Sliding Doors moments in life.

            Much love

            Helen xx

          • #738330

            “why is she not comfortable with it?”

            She hasn’t fully elaborated yet, but she can be conservative, at times, and she has mentioned the maleness thing.

            We are going for a train ride to Niagara Falls and she saw me putting on my favourite lace panties. “You’re weird.” I put on more than that, so it is what it is – it is a gorgeous day and we are going to enjoy it. I can’t go back home and change now!

      • #738295

        I guess the obvious question from SO’s would be why would you want to do that? Whilst for many crossdressers it might be for just general support and discuss experiences and lifestyle, I agree that there is often deep suspicion from SO’s that it is to form some kind of more intimate relationship.

        From their point of view, I can understand that. The more pertinent question is probably to ourselves, in that are we being honest about why we want to meet up with other people in the first place.

        • #738413

          I don’t know why, but I just want to share the experience with others crossdressers in person now. I get to the point where I get dressed and do my makeup as best I can and although it’s so nice to spend time like this alone, I just feel that I want/need to share this part of who I am with others in person. I’d love to see how other girls look, act, sound and behave when they are their alter ego. I get the jealousy thing, and I would be the same, it’s really difficult to get around.

          • #738420
            Rhonda Lee
            Baroness - Annual

            I NEVER go out alone to just walk around or go somewhere.. Being and engaging with others, preferably women, is the fun of it for me. Absent that, or a zoom conference at least, it is too much work to get made up when I can’t even see myself without a mirror. I enjoy interacting with others and doing productive things with others – dining, shopping, or other activities- when dressed.

          • #738426

            I can relate! Living where I live, there’s probably a .001% chance I could find a CD friend here. Upstate New York country is incredibly judgemental and bigoted.

          • #738433

            Can I ask a question of you and anyone else that reads this? What are the “bell” notifications and why can’t I see them? I know, read the rules…but I’m not that good using a single finger type on a tablet. Can someone help me?

          • #738576

            “What are the “bell” notifications and why can’t I see them?”

            If you click on the bell and you can’t see the list of them, then contact a forum admin.

            If you are using a recommended browser, it should work. I almost never use common browsers just to see problems such as this. They work for me.

          • #738434
            Rhonda Lee
            Baroness - Annual

            I have a book about New York business men who regularly traveled to the Catskills to a place called Susannah, I think, where they would dress up regularly. This was long before dressing became a topic of conversation. I’m sure there are more CDs in New York than you might think.

          • #738437

            If they’re here, it’s impossible to find them. So conservative an area and anyone who came out would be immediately subjected to social ostracization. We’re scared to death of coming out in upstate NY!

        • #738417

          Very excellent point! Be true to thyself. Your wise.

      • #738336
        Rhonda Lee
        Baroness - Annual

        Jealousy and suspicion are both reasons why women are uncomfortable with their partners dressing. Women often feel they can’t compete with the meticulous efforts of their CD to look feminine. They are jealous, yes, of the “other woman”…you… And they are often suspicious. One wife attending a support group meeting told me she came to see where it was leading and what it was really all about. She wound up staying with the group until she died, being a strong supporter and active contributor, after realizing there were good friends to be made and fun ways to meet both CDs and women and do things together. But many women want nothing to do with it. My wife refused to even call another woman or attend a meeting. She tolerated my attending, but eventually decided she did not want me going out anywhere in public and moved from there to insisting I stop dressing altogether.

        I think that if a wife/SO is willing to engage with other wives/SOs the fears can be quickly overcome. Most accept it as something the SO needs to do, but most wish there were a pill to cure it. Fortunately, some level of acceptance is what matters most, and I think that is best achieved if the SO can reach a point where she can go out with her husband/SO. Those who do usually overcome their fears and enjoy the benefits… more shopping opportunities and “dates” and other signs of appreciation for her tolerance. One wife told me she left her first husband after becoming a golf widow and found it refreshing to be married to someone interested in going shopping with her.


      • #738435
        Cece X

        Hi, Katie. I may be in a similar situation. My girlfriend enjoys my underdressing in bra and panties under drab, but she has told me that underwear is as far as she will go with this. There have been very negative responses to other instances, like a few months ago when I revealed that I had gotten my first breast forms. As a result, I fully dress only when I am home alone. I would love to explore more experiences, like meeting other crossdressers, but she would never tolerate that. At least I know her limits and can abide within them in order to maintain our relationship.

        • #738438
          Rhonda Lee
          Baroness - Annual

          If you know her limits and can abide with them you have won the main battle. I think most problems arise from either 1) not knowing limits and crossing them unawares; 2) not being able to abide with them.

          On a bright note, limits do change from time to time. And they CAN be negotiated, to a degree… USUALLY.  As opportunities arise, in time, you may find her able to relax. I NEVER in my wildest dreams would have expected I could ever wear a bra and lived to tell the story, but eventually got to a point where I could not only wear them but would find them washed and folded in my drawers after dropping them in the hamper. BUT, tolerance levels can both expand and contract, without warning. Not being a real woman, I cannot ever figure out the “rules”, or why or when they will change.

    • #738163

      I did go out with a group maybe 30 or so years ago. My then wife didn’t know of it but sometime after, I did tell her of my dressing…We tried counseling, but ultimately divorced, due to multiple factors..basically we decided to divorce so we could be friends again!! The experience I took from going out with that group was that omg some of them were absolutely gorgeous! (In telling my ex the same thing, she smugly said “Well isn’t that the point?”. At any rate, I felt somewhat uncomfortable being with the others because I’m tall, and felt I stood out, and also because I wasn’t dressed to the nines as they were…I just didn’t have clothes like that. But, all in all, I did it, and I guess it taught me that as feminine as I felt dressing, there are those who are naturals..don’t try to compete! Just do what feels comfortable… I’ve said before, I have no wish to embarass myself or those around me…

      • #738250

        Competition has no place in loving yourself.☺️

    • #738392
      Neha K

      I’m at the stage where I would like to meet likeminded someone to have a good conversation. This is a true evolution is Neha’s journey. Unfortunately, there is not a single makeover services in the place i live. I just moved in few months ago. I’ve seen few dressed up but im scared to start a conversation. hope i can make some friends sooner.

      • #738394
        Rhonda Lee
        Baroness - Annual

        I know some who arrange for private visits after hours, with those who sell cosmetics… You can get makeovers in stores such as Sephora and Macy’s, among others, or find someone who would work with you after hours. I would THINK you could locate women willing to assist you by a google search of crossdressing services in your area.

        Good luck!

      • #738441
        Rhonda Lee
        Baroness - Annual

        There IS a a place on the site where you can search for CDs near you. I am surprised, however, that there are so few who provide such information.

        • #738443

          Pray tell me where! I’d absolutely use!

          • #738448
            Rhonda Lee
            Baroness - Annual

            I’d start with google, to see what you can locate regarding dressing services or crossdresser supplies or services. There are warehouses like Lingerie Mart where you can buy clothing. I’d guess that proprietors of such places could provide names. I’d ask clerks at the MAC counter of a Macy’s store or cosmetic counters at other department stores. Sephora, Lane Bryant and Victoria Secret, among others, befriend crossdressers. If you are uncomfortable visiting the stores you can always call and ask anonymously if they provide services or know anyone who does. You might approach wig store proprietors or proprietors who specialize in lingerie. Members of meetup groups can usually provide contact info. Any store that sells lingerie is a potential store to ask. I have found clerks willing to fit me for swimsuits or other garments. I might see if I could find someone helpful and ask if they would be willing to offer advice on where you might find help with makeup or whatever you desire. A hair styling proprietor might prove helpful. You could even post an ad on a dating service site to see if anyone has interest in helping a crossdresser. There are many women interested in such things, especially if you are willing to pay them for their services. As far as makeup goes, almost any store selling cosmetics would likely be willing to apply them on you no charge, although they would PROBABLY expect you to buy something.

            There are ads on the sidebars of this site for free makeup assistance.

            • This reply was modified 1 year ago by Rhonda Lee.
          • #738450

            Oh boy! That will require a bit of bravado! Thanks for the help, but living in a rural area, I would probably be snickered at. People around here are pretty much assholes and rednecks.

            I might try, but it would be a long shot if I garnered any acceptance at all.


        • #738472

          I took your advice and it seems they are all hookup/sex sites

          Looking for a friend.

          Things happen as they do, or not

          • This reply was modified 1 year ago by Jenny Lynn.
      • #738471

        Where are you. In general of course!

    • #738431

      I am so absolutely clumsy and clueless on this site! Is there a way to maybe search for locals who are also here? NY is along ways from everyone I see here. Be nice to find someone relatively close to have as a friend. Suggestions anyone?

      • #738497

        I find I’m becoming more and more nervous putting myself out there and meeting someone with like-minded interests because of the political hatred that’s now spreading.  I’m not really interested in crossdressing in public as it’s a private thing for me so I don’t know why I’m afraid but I have become that way lately.  I’m not flamboyant or call attention to myself in any way (kinda private I guess), I’m just a loving person in touch with my feelings.  Did I say too much?  (haha)

      • #738584

        Not sure if this was answered but you can search.

        Go to “Social” drop down then “Member Directory” or “Find Friends”

        State and city searches are available



    • #738531

      I have never met anyone, but hold out hope that maybe someday! Be nice to have a friend who can be himself and herself without any fear of judgement. How special to have a best friend that can be both!

      • #738754

        I am in the same boat, never met anyone but hold out hope that someday I might.  Would be great to talk and share our experiences and I would probably learn so much. A special friend would be wonderful.  Pretty tough in a rural area though.  So I will be happy in private…pout

        • #738913

          We’re in the same boat. Rural upstate NY. Pretty prudish and alot of rednecks. Most are harmless, but God forbid anyone knew I was a dresser! Might as well move!

          Keep in touch if you like. I’m good with a PM.


        • #740150

          Feel free to pm me if you wish.


        • #740679

          I feel the same I wish you were closer❤️🌹

      • #740678

        I feel the same wish you were closer

    • #738887

      I knew someone that was a cross dresser and did not know it, plus i went to a Buffalo bell meeting one year and meet a lot of cross dressers and i felt at home. wish i could meet another cross dresser close to me and chat and what ever comes after that.

    • #739030
      Rhonda Lee
      Baroness - Annual

      I notice many respondents wanting to meet other crossdressers are in NY. Have you considered

      – the Keystone Conference in PA

      – all kinds of opportunities in NY City

      – forming your own meetup group… you can initiate this on this site; start by seeing if there are any in your area… others have responded as to how to do this

      – let me know if you’d be interested in a cruise. About 20 crossdressers and SOs, along with their spouses, cruise together for a week once or twice a year. I anticipate the next cruise will begin end of October. One of the group runs a travel agency, along with her wife. they plan it out so we can dine together and have opportunities to meet casually… dressed or not as each prefer… and there are lots of shore excursion where people are free to team up with others or go solo as they choose. By the end of the week you can make lots of good friends.

      Few crossdressers are brave enough to get out and about in their own town. If you are going to travel to meet others anyway, I can’t understand why there is difficulty finding meetup groups or getting makeup or other crossdressing services within traveling distance.  One can find help with makeup and selecting feminine attire at malls, I’m sure many women would be happy to meet after hours or at your home or their shop to help if you like. You could start by asking employees at cosmetic counters at places like Macy’s and Sephora’s who do makeovers regularly. Professional services are not hard to find.

      In my lifetime crossdressing has moved from being illegal to being fairly widely acknowledged and accepted as within the realm of normal behavior, certainly far more accessible than it once was. No longer is there need to fear arrest, institutionalization, or anything more than curiosity, embarrassment from or criticism by some. And those who are curious are fun to engage with. I have been stopped by police many times in normal traffic situations and even involved in serious wrecks, and gone nearly everywhere one could imagine in public with seldom a word- at least not a negative one- being said about how I am dressed. There is justification in being concerned about spousal acceptance and how we may impact friends or colleagues, that deserves serious consideration. But the general public hardly notices or cares. We need not be prisoners to our own minds.

      It is freeing in many regards to let ourselves be “clocked” by wearing nail polish to a doctor or when having a massage, or taking other risks of discovery, as it generally leads to playful, enjoyable, educational conversations and very seldom to negative judgment or criticism. Such risks carry little downside concern unless done too close to where we live.


      • #739718

        How do you start a “meet up group?”. Do you have to be a paid member, as I don’t see a way to do so, nor do I see a way to start a new conversation. I’m assuming you have to be a “Dutchess” or above?


        • #739768

 is a meeting/club on-line service for any group, not just lifestyle topics.

        • #740109
          Rhonda Lee
          Baroness - Annual

          I think Sandy responded to this earlier: “Go to “Social” drop down then “Member Directory” or “Find Friends”

          State and city searches are available.

          If you find friends within the vicinity you or they are willing to travel it is one way to contact them and initiate a meet up group. There are others. I could help you form a Tri-Ess chapter if you wish. This is a national support organization for crossdressers and their spouses/SOs, which focuses on meeting up regularly in a safe environment, encouraging friendship and acceptance, and doing activities together. I have also, independently, invited others to dinners in public restaurants or activities I host. This has developed close friendships, requires no formality or membership, and has gathered a loyal following over the years.  As you meet others, you will find joint interests you can share en femme. I have a variety of interest… going to a professional baseball game or bowling, for instance, but also like high-end events where I can glam up, like symphony, concerts, and opera. I also mentioned a group of crossdressers who like to take cruises once or twice a year. You could find a supporting church in your area, like an MCC, that likely would provide a place to meet, you could meet at a hotel, or just in a home. Lots of variations on the theme.

    • #739684

      When I first voted, I thought I only wanted to dress in private. I was mostly worried about being hit on, if we’re being honest. These days I realize most people here are only looking for companionship and understanding — and the ones who aren’t are getting banned. I may want to have friends closer. I’ve been wanting to go to a makeover and ask a million questions, but then I realize I just need CD/TG/TS friends.

      • This reply was modified 1 year ago by Mariana S..
      • #739717

        You have it right. We’re here to be accepted and make friends, not the “hookup” thing. That’s what makes this site safe and fun. No nonsense is tolerated. Take that into a PM or somewhere else. We’re all just here for friendship and support. At least, that’s how I see it.


    • #739753
      Rhonda Lee
      Baroness - Annual

      If any care to meet other crossdressers and their SOs or spouses in a safe, accepting environment, please consider joining a one-week Dignity Cruise. About two dozen of us have been meeting each October for the past few years, and sometimes February also. The next cruise departs Miami October 22- Carnival Cruise Line and visits St. Thomas, Amber Cove, Puerto Rico, and Dominican Republic. A CD and her wife, Cathy Croft run a travel agency and organize these cruises. In addition to booking the trip, the Crofts arrange for a meeting, dining, and hotel the night before departure and transportation to the ship and return after the trip and airport transfers. Most dine together in the eves, there are generally a few meetings with the group,  It is a fun, relaxed way to meet others. You can dress as often or or as little as you like.

      The Crofts help everyone get to know each other, match up those looking for rommates, etc.

      It is too early for me to make firm plans, but if able to go I may be looking for a roommate.

      PM me for more info

    • #740888

      No not yet, about 10 years ago when I joined CDH.I became great on-line friends with SueShe (their screen name).

      We always talked about both of us our our wives meeting each other.

      One day we set a date to meet, because we actually lived only a state apart from each other.

      Well that summer I got a call from his wife. That he had passed away and never got to meet them


    • #743962

      The only CD’er I know in real life is my husband Hippie.

      Maybe one day we’ll meet some of you out there in the world

    • #757207

      I went to Diva LasVegas once and met a number of other crossdressers there.   I have also been out to a few gay bars where I met other crossdressers.   It is great talk to other like minded people and share experiences and views.

    • #757748

      I have met a few crossdressers over the years but it is so hard to find someone close.  I do enjoy meeting other girls it feels so wonderful to share our experiences.  It feels so good to be open with someone about your feminine self.

    • #760138

      Since Dec ’22, yes – many of them at many events. Having something in common with someone immediately makes a connection – shared experiences do this. Humans are innately tribal, we can’t help it.

      That said, like with any other people, you’ll click more with some than with others because you also share the same sense of humor, or career, or whatever.

      People are people 😉

    • #760709
      Emily Shy

      I’d love to meet other crossdressers, however there don’t seem to be many in my area lol. I don’t dress often and don’t get chance to go out dressed lol. I’d probably be more comfortable at a group coffee meet rather than a one on one shopping if you know what I mean. Baby steps into the outside world so to speak

      • #760811
        Janet Woodham
        Duchess - Annual

        I certainly know what you mean Emily although I have been lucky enough to find people local to me. It is always nice to meet others in the UK and I wish you well as you slowly take steps on your journey.

Viewing 48 reply threads
  • The forum ‘Crossdresser Heaven Polls’ is closed to new topics and replies.
Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Crossdresser Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Log in with your credentials

Forgot your details?