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    • #410240
      Kitty Van Curen
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      Registered On: November 3, 2020
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      ..If we were viewing it from a ‘level playing field’ without bias or judgement …then all being well, yes! And that would be ideal, and really what we strive for and ultimately wish for. Although, to the majority (sadly) CD’ers will always (but hopefully not) be regarded as the ‘odd’ or the ‘perverse’ It’s a lame tragedy, but sadly..still true. By no means am I saying I agree with that perspective or indoctrine though.

      Thanks!

       

    • #404099
      Araminta Purdy
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      Gabriella Hermosa has been a vocal (written?) advocate for cross-dressing for several years now and has raised several cogent points of discussion.

      Blanchard, Lawrence et al fail to recognize that the desire to be a beautiful woman, and the sexual arousal from being a beautiful woman, exists in both sexes. Their views concerning so-call homosexual cross-dressers fail to take into account the mistaken premises concerning sexual orientation as well as the fact that sexual identity is a gender issue and not necessarily a matter of one’s sex.

      Sexual identity can and does change with gender. This why, for some males, they are wholly attracted to feminine females when presenting as men (i.e., as masculine) and very attracted to masculine men when presenting as women (i.e., as feminine.)

      Araminta.

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    • #403924
      Falecia McGuire
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      Sa*man*tha,

      I think this one is on me.  My references may have seemed (or actually are) euphemistic, but my intent was more specific.  The person from whom I garnered the subject matter used more blatant/specific language to describe female image admiration.  I didn’t adopt that language because I was going in a different direction.  I think many women and some (perhaps older) crossdressers experience an endorphin rush and/or an increase in adrenaline flow from the acts of crossdressing (dressing up) and admiring their images.  Regardless of where that phenomenon culminates, it alone is significant and provides the pleasurable feelings associated with dressing up, no matter who you are.  I felt this was an important acknowledgement for women who might have found crossdressing among their male partners to be puzzling or distressing.  We’re all human beings.  If the things that bring us pleasure do not harm others (or ourselves) we are all served better by tolerance, acceptance, or understanding.

      FAM

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    • #403879
      Cath N.
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      Woo Jessica, relax. I was replying to Robyn who said that women don’t make any effort in dressing after they get married. I said it’s the same for the men, when they get married, they no longer make any effort to make themselves visually appealing for the women. So another thing we have in common, really. No one is trying to shame you, so no projecting on me please.

      P.s. my phone Reply to quote is not working for some reason.

      • This reply was modified 2 weeks ago by Cath N..
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    • #403863
      Jessica Wilde
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      I completely agree with you. Gone are the three piece suits, the crisp shirts, the shiny shoes. No effort whatsoever. It’s all jeans and t-shirts. Complete disregard for what my eye wants to see….such a shame.

      Agree with whom? All of us? Some of us? Who do you agree with? Nobody mentioned 3 piece suits and shiny shoes. Who is it that you’re agreeing with? Are you just trying to shame us a little? Hmmm, is that what you’re doing?

    • #403709
      Cath N.
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      I completely agree with you. Gone are the three piece suits, the crisp shirts, the shiny shoes. No effort whatsoever. It’s all jeans and t-shirts. Complete disregard for what my eye wants to see….such a shame.

    • #403365
      Robyn Devine
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      Well my fiancé says that their clothing isn’t enjoyable to wear and doesn’t understand why i want to wear it. This coming from a woman who until I came out always tried to look her best. She must have enjoyed it or she wouldn’t have put so much effort into it. She changes clothes 4 or 5 times before we go anywhere. Any time we go to the lake she tries on a bare minimum of 3 bathing suits till she decides on one and that’s subject to change right before we walk out the door.

      Women do enjoy their clothes and so do I. I change numerous times while dressing because I want to see all my outfits in all their variations in one setting so basically I’m much like my fiancé. I try several outfits till I find the one I want. It’s part of the fun.

      So my feeling is yes women enjoy their clothing just as much as we do.

      You know, thats also one of the biggest problems in a man/woman typical marriage.  It’s very common shortly after having kids, the woman in many ways stops caring and gives up putting in effort to look good.  Sure in part because life now revolves around the kids…which is also a mistake…but now that marriage has been secured…she seems all done with looking good and making the husband/wife relationship fulfilling.  Just an observation!

      xo – Robyn

       

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    • #403331
      Jessica Wilde
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      Most women can remove their bras without removing the blouse (or garment) that covers it or slip on 5-inch pumps without touching them. Those talents alone should qualify for advanced leadership.  BTW, I taught myself to do both!

      I’ve seen my fiancé pull her bra out of her shirt sleeve on many an occasion. When I first saw it I thought to myself “now that was impressive ” lol.

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    • #403298
      Sa•man•tha
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      Although I agree that men and women are more similar than many people think, I think this topic approaches that in a rather sideways manner.  Unless “enjoy their own clothing” is a euphemism for something I’m not quite catching ahold of…?  In which case, I still think we’re approaching it sideways.  Now let’s go investigate some of the replies here 😁

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    • #403295
      Jessica Wilde
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      Anecdotal v. Scientific!
      My recent preoccupation (yes, I admit it) with the similarities between natural women and heterosexual crossdressers was triggered by an article published on the mycdlife website hosted by Gabrielle Hermosa.  In her explanation of the myths about crossdressing (#7) she writes of her former spouse’s propensity to admire her image while dressed in provocative clothing.  This item certainly rings familiar with many crossdressers, because that’s kind-of-exactly what we do.  Regardless of the terminology, analysis, or fantasies involved, I’ve never once heard a CD maintain that they didn’t enjoy the thought, image, or sensation of dressing in feminine clothing.  Ironically, some of the clothing that I now find appealing and satisfying is not, by most definitions, provocative at all.  Jeans, a tunic, and booties can look very attractive, but, in most iterations it would not generally be considered uniquely sexy.

      Gabrielle’s article brought me back to behaviors I’ve identified over the years.  For example, my wife, who is very attractive, has a particular view of what looks good when she makes her choice of clothing.  When I compliment her choices or suggest other potential choices, it really always comes down to how she wants to look.  I’m not suggesting that she sees things the same as Gabrielle’s former spouse or that she engages in any sort of self-admiration, harmless as that may be.  I’m just suggesting that appreciation for the clothing or the look we choose for ourselves likely has a gender variant and/or sexual component.  Since feminine clothing is generally more ornamental than masculine clothing within our Western culture, it is not a stretch to understand why or how it could draw both male and female enthusiasts.  Many non-CD men, regardless of their assertions, select and admire all sorts of fetish attire.  Those of you who served, can acknowledge how many guys get-off on any variety of military uniform choices.  Should crossdressing be judged harshly because the choices aren’t approved for male accoutrementation?

      So, why the title for this comment?  Because I’ve read Blanchard, Lawrence, Moser, et all, and none of their studies confirm or effectively refute the similarities between mildly sexualized, but otherwise normal, females and heterosexual crossdressers.  The surveys (questionnaires), I believe, are far too random and skirt (no pun) the genuine component of eroticism there are trying to identify.  Perhaps this is not one for science unless someone is trying to fulfill an academic publication expectation.  Perhaps, instead, the anecdotal documentation and admissions by actual women are what we really need if our objective is to understand the attraction of feminine clothing among cis women, transgendered women, and crossdressers alike.  Thank you, Gabrielle!

      That’s pretty deep and quite interesting .

    • #403279
      Falecia McGuire
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      Most women can remove their bras without removing the blouse (or garment) that covers it or slip on 5-inch pumps without touching them. Those talents alone should qualify for advanced leadership.  BTW, I taught myself to do both!

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    • #403045
      Jessica Wilde
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      Well my fiancé says that their clothing isn’t enjoyable to wear and doesn’t understand why i want to wear it. This coming from a woman who until I came out always tried to look her best. She must have enjoyed it or she wouldn’t have put so much effort into it. She changes clothes 4 or 5 times before we go anywhere. Any time we go to the lake she tries on a bare minimum of 3 bathing suits till she decides on one and that’s subject to change right before we walk out the door.

      Women do enjoy their clothes and so do I. I change numerous times while dressing because I want to see all my outfits in all their variations in one setting so basically I’m much like my fiancé. I try several outfits till I find the one I want. It’s part of the fun.

      So my feeling is yes women enjoy their clothing just as much as we do.

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      • #403311
        Sa•man•tha
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        While I think cis women enjoy their clothing as much as we do, I think we approach that from different angles.  Depending upon where one is at with this stuff.

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    • #403036
      Anonymous
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      It could be.  I hope it is.  We could use such a breakthrough.

    • #402978
      Araminta Purdy
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      Which is why I call it ‘athenasing’ rather than ‘cross-dressing’; because I needed a term that applied to both sexes rather than assuming that the desire to be feminine and beautiful only applied to one sex.

      Araminta.

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    • #402901
      Falecia McGuire
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      Anecdotal v. Scientific!
      My recent preoccupation (yes, I admit it) with the similarities between natural women and heterosexual crossdressers was triggered by an article published on the mycdlife website hosted by Gabrielle Hermosa.  In her explanation of the myths about crossdressing (#7) she writes of her former spouse’s propensity to admire her image while dressed in provocative clothing.  This item certainly rings familiar with many crossdressers, because that’s kind-of-exactly what we do.  Regardless of the terminology, analysis, or fantasies involved, I’ve never once heard a CD maintain that they didn’t enjoy the thought, image, or sensation of dressing in feminine clothing.  Ironically, some of the clothing that I now find appealing and satisfying is not, by most definitions, provocative at all.  Jeans, a tunic, and booties can look very attractive, but, in most iterations it would not generally be considered uniquely sexy.

      Gabrielle’s article brought me back to behaviors I’ve identified over the years.  For example, my wife, who is very attractive, has a particular view of what looks good when she makes her choice of clothing.  When I compliment her choices or suggest other potential choices, it really always comes down to how she wants to look.  I’m not suggesting that she sees things the same as Gabrielle’s former spouse or that she engages in any sort of self-admiration, harmless as that may be.  I’m just suggesting that appreciation for the clothing or the look we choose for ourselves likely has a gender variant and/or sexual component.  Since feminine clothing is generally more ornamental than masculine clothing within our Western culture, it is not a stretch to understand why or how it could draw both male and female enthusiasts.  Many non-CD men, regardless of their assertions, select and admire all sorts of fetish attire.  Those of you who served, can acknowledge how many guys get-off on any variety of military uniform choices.  Should crossdressing be judged harshly because the choices aren’t approved for male accoutrementation?

      So, why the title for this comment?  Because I’ve read Blanchard, Lawrence, Moser, et all, and none of their studies confirm or effectively refute the similarities between mildly sexualized, but otherwise normal, females and heterosexual crossdressers.  The surveys (questionnaires), I believe, are far too random and skirt (no pun) the genuine component of eroticism there are trying to identify.  Perhaps this is not one for science unless someone is trying to fulfill an academic publication expectation.  Perhaps, instead, the anecdotal documentation and admissions by actual women are what we really need if our objective is to understand the attraction of feminine clothing among cis women, transgendered women, and crossdressers alike.  Thank you, Gabrielle!

      • #403321
        Sa•man•tha
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        This propensity to “admire the image” is exactly one of the things that typically drives your wife or girlfriend bat guano crazy about your crossdressing.

        Blanchard’s autogynephilia theory is…ignorant, narrow minded, and exclusive.  Unless there’s something I’ve missed here, which is altogether possible.  And the fact that some of our critics and detractors use this very same theory to bash us with, I think bears me out to at least some extent.

        While I agree it’s true that cis women, transgender women, and crossdressers all find women’s clothes attractive, (not to mention cis men,) the reasons behind these are at least as different as they are similar.

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    • #401837
      Robyn Devine
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      Thank you Gen!  🙂

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    • #401710
      Robyn Devine
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      I would say more the opposite.

      Yes they’ve been brainwashed to not do it anymore.  You cant feel sexy, you cant feel like a woman, you cant look like a woman, you cant like looking sexy…you must drink the kool-aid and be a stretchy pants, flip-floppin frump!!  Haven’t we noticed over the past decades how bland and non-descript a lot of women have become.

      They are just as oppressed and damned for being pro-woman, as the men who refuse to indulge in their feminine side for fear of weakness like Rachel mentioned.

      By being CD,  I have a much better understanding of what women have to do to look sexy.  I greatly appreciate when a woman gets “Dolled-up”  I have also found myself to become more loving, compassionate and understanding when I embraced the feminine side of myself.

      • #403324
        Sa•man•tha
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        Robyn, are you telling me that the modern woman is bland and non-descript?  That a woman wearing stretchy pants is unattractive?  That it takes makeup and suggestive clothing for a woman to be attractive or worthy?  Or that presenting in a bland, non descript manner deters men from finding women attractive? Not sure I understand what you’re saying here hon.

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      • #401760
        Genevïéve
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        Well said Robyn…

        Gen… 💋

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    • #401543
      Phoebe Smyth
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      I would have to think that advertising effects us similarly. They’re not selling the item they’re selling the image and the fantasy that you can fill that image.
      Whether that image it prosperous, affluent, sexy or something else we try to fit that image.
      In our case that image is also feminine.
      How we see ourselves does not necessarily align with reality. Women also. But as long as no one is holding a mirror up to us we can pretend we are that image.

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    • #401531
      Rachel Cross
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      yes woman avoid sexy clothes. main reason is men are pigs. you dress sexy and you attract unwanted attention. girls dress sexy when they are together as a group. not alone. and woman dont dress sexy to attract men, they dress sexy to show off to other girls. i have lots of girls come up to me when im dressed at the bar. they talk to me because they feel safe around me. they tell me most of the guys around are pigs and i believe that. i have had some rude things said to me but not many because i would probably kick their ass. but i dont have to worry about that. most people tell me if anyone gives me a hard time they would kick their ass. anyway its not easy being a young girl. most of them live in some sort of fear, they all carry pepper spray or knives/ im sure they would use them if they had to. i think thats why girls perfer to date other girls. they treat each other like they want to be treated. when you dress and go out you find out about alot of stuff you never noticed before.

    • #401332
      Rachel Cross
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      i think men and woman are not the same. i think a woman can do just about everything a man can do and more. i think thats why we are all crossdressing. we want to be on the winning team. woman are smart, sexier looking (at least in their younger years), more open, have more feeling, caring, ect. as a man we have to control our feeling and if we dont we are concidered weak.

      • #403369
        Rei Durden
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        AMEN!

        I would also add that a world ran by women would be far less war torn, toxically competitive and obsessed with power.

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    • #401331
      Jenny Thigh High
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      ….perhaps.

      Although as many/most of us have observed, many GGs actually do NOT enjoy the clothes we CDs often love.

      Women often avoid sexy, impractical clothing at all costs and whenever possible — in contrast to many CDs who actually embrace a fem appearance and clothing.

      In many respects, WE live the fantasy, THEY avoid it.

    • #401261
      Grace Scarlett
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      Hi Falecia

      The man and woman that live in my house are definitely more than similar….because they are me!!!

      ……but wearing the man’s clothes is SO not a fantasy 😂😂😂

      Smiles, grace xx

    • #401238
      stephanie plumb
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      I believe that men and women are more than similar. Once you take away the biological physical and reproductive differences what you have left is humans with different social upbringings.  It has been suggested that gender doesn’t exist apart from being a socially constructed label.

      As for clothes I am not sure. I suspect most GG’s view clothing as no more than normal  everyday garments in a spectrum from day to day wear to special socialising clothes. Sure, they love their clothes but do they idolise them?

      CD’s on the other hand wax lyrical and enjoy  every femme item they possess.  To a GG  a bra is a necessary evil, to a CD it is iconised, loved, and talked about incessantly.  A GG simply bungs it on. We treat it as the “best thing since sliced bread” and are in raptures about the feel of the straps, that little bow on the front.   Okay, so you can see I am a bra addict. No apologies.

      I’m coming round to thinking that if you believe, in your heart, that you are a woman, then you are one. Or so close that the difference is negligible.  I have been researching in this area for some time after a reply to a post that said that TG’s  “could never know what it’s like to be a real woman.”

      I disagree.  Okay – no babies or periods – but that’s physical stuff.  I believe we are  emotionally and intellectually no different.   I am 100% convinced I have a feminised brain.   I think,  behave, and dream like a woman, so I must be one. Right?

      Stephanie P

      • #403332
        Sa•man•tha
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        Stephanie, although I agree with some of the themes you’ve mentioned in this here reply here, let’s clarify a bit perhaps.

        “I believe we are  emotionally and intellectually no different.   I am 100% convinced I have a feminised brain.”

        Question: if we are no different emotionally or intellectually, then how can one’s brain be either feminized or masculinized?

        “I’m coming round to thinking that if you believe, in your heart, that you are a woman, then you are one. Or so close that the difference is negligible.”

        Question: what if you believe with all your heart, but still think or behave yourself like a bloke?  Now what is our perception?

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        • #403537
          stephanie plumb
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          Wow!   Deep stuff.  Some of my words are perhaps a little clumsy.

          On the emotional and intellectual theme I meant that because if we have a feminised brain – and science backs this up – then we are not much different to GG’s.

          On the question of what we believe in our hearts, that was just a point about our self identification as being a woman.  It doesn’t rule out that we also think and behave as a bloke, because they are skills we have acquired through nurture alongside our burgeoning femininity.  We are blessed that we can be both our feminine self and be the bloke we were raised as.   I might be blokey much of the time but it is all through the lens of my feminine brain. I’m not sure if that makes any sense.

          I’m not sure if I have answered your questions adequately – I am still wrestling with these thoughts myself.  I guess, in my stumbling way,  that I am trying to prove that I can, to a high degree, if I wish to ( leaving out the biology stuff), know, as near as damn it, what it is like to be a woman.  Just as I know what its like to be a man.  And a GG can’t deny us that.

          🤔

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    • #401048
      Jennifer Swanson
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      I do think that the difference between men and women is more of a spectrum than a line.  I believe we are all part of one and the same human family.  I think there are cross dressers in every culture and they cross dress in the clothes from that culture.  I think it’s genetic predisposition combined with a love of creative expression.

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