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I’m sitting here enjoying some Jamie time and thinking about all the challenges that women face that most men will never understand. Such as:
Daily maintenance takes time. (Makeup, hair, outfits, etc)
Body maintenance takes time and dedication. (Hair removal, skin care, nutrition, etc)
Skirts and dresses are arguably more comfortable, but bring their own challenges. ( How you sit, how you walk, changes in weather, etc)
Having long(er) fingernails adds a degree of difficulty to…everything…
And let’s face it, many men still don’t give proper respect to women.
Am I missing anything? I certainly love being Jamie and embracing femininity. But it’s not as easy as our detractors think.
Jamie,it sure is a challenge but I personally love it babe xx and before I found my female self I never understand what girls went through.
Hi Jamie, it’s hard trying to get the right combination of clothes so you look fabulous and not looking like something the cat’s dragged in,
When we dress we want to be as girly as possible so getting everything right is a must X
Hugs Roz X
Men just don’t know the half of what us girls go through unless of course married and see what we go through to get girled up. Can say first hand my bf watched me few times getting ready and the whole 9 yards to being perfection to leave the house. giggles. Not to mention the hygiene we do also.
Hugs all
love
Donna
The cost🤣🤣🤣
For example how many men know which make up brush does what? and how many you need! And good ones aren’t cheap! And that’s before you even get the products. And good quality perfume ain’t cheap! And skincare! Accessories, jewellery, scarves, purses, hair (removal) products, and don’t even get me started on shoes and clothes. Did I mention the cost🤣
After years I feel I’m only now reaching a plateau where I have enough feminine stuff. For example things like make up brushes last a long time if you care of them.
❤️Bianca
So many things men don’t understand about how much effort it takes to look good, and the maintenance required to sustain those looks. Having the right clothing, accessories, and makeup are just a start. Keeping all of that in good condition and ready to wear is an ongoing effort, to have outfits that coordinate, often on a restricted budget. Guys can be like, “Why do you need so much of this stuff? Clearly, they don’t understand or appreciate the attention to detail that women routinely do just to please themselves and others.
Maybe this can be summed-up in a clip from the TV series “Happy Days” The “Fonz” looks in the mirror like he’s going to comb or arrange his hair, but stops, with hands out as if to gesture, “How can I make this better” like it isn’t already perfect.
A woman (Cis/Trans/CD) looking in the mirror asks the same question, only to be in search of something to improve her appearance.
I always feel I have to adhere to a much higher standard of appearance than my wife does, so I am in the camp with all other women, looking in that mirror, wondering how I can improve it, and realizing no man will likely even have a hint of how much work was involved.
Carla
Great subject, Jamie!
I think you covered most of the things women have to do: makeup, hair, dress, shin, etc. And I believe being a CD gives us a better understanding of all those things that demand a women attention and time, all things that most men are clueless about.
One thing my wife appreciates about me is that Jules totally understands, and even helps her with outfits, jewelry selection, etc. Jules is also the seamstress in the family, which my wife appreciates. Jules also does the majority of the cooking, furthering her understanding and THAT portion of many women’s life.
However, there is another large part of women’s lives which the average guys is also clueless about.
That part is understanding what the average women feels, loves, and fears.
For example, when I’m out and about by myself as Jules, especially at night, I believe my fear and anxiety is similar to what many women experience every day, multiple time per day. Which side of the street should I walk on? So, do I dare make eye contact with that man approaching? What if he hits on me, or makes a lurid comment? Where is it safe to park? Where is it safe to go? What should I wear to avoid unwanted attention for a man, or group of men? Who is walking behind me? A man? Is he following me? Is anyone around to help me? Should I has pepper spray? Etc, etc…
The world can and often is a scary place for many women, and as Jules I can sense and even feel the same fear.
And that is a shame! Who is mostly to blame? Sadly, men cause the most problems. While men can be a blessing to women, often they are the opposite.
As Jules, I better understand this part of women’s lives today. And as Jules is can clearly see that most men really are clueless…
My wish? That every man across the world completely dress and live as a women for one whole week. That would go a long way towards reducing gender inequality and sexual assault. Trust me!
Hugs
Jules
💖🌈👩I can so relate to that fear when out alone. I love going out and feeling pretty and wearing a sexy dress but that does not mean I’m doing it to attract men to me, or worse yet, attack me.
I don’t think forcing men to wear a dress for a week will change the way they look at women.
We are a unique breed that want to experience femininity and be one of the girls and whether we are in a dress or not we respect women and treat them with the respect they deserve.
To be sure men don’t understand what women go through. We wouldn’t either except it be for our own distinct feminine desires. But perhaps that which men don’t really understand is why would a perfectly “good” man choose to go through the same things as a man when it is so unnecessary . . . except for we who are CDers / trans women is is so necessary. But then many of us don’t understand why femme expression is such an essential part of our own lives do we?
This post doesn’t address what women don’t understand. Perhaps mentioning such might not be germaine to the topic of “men”, but would be germaine to the topic of “don’t understand”.
For example many women don’t understand why we find wearing panty hose so wonderful. The fact that most women don’t wear hose is testimony that they “don’t get it.” Or if we don’t underdress, why would we be eager to get home from work to put on a bra when so many women can’t wait to get home from work to take theirs off and get comfortable? Or why decide to wear a dress or skirt for casual when in the opinion of the average cis-woman sweats and tee do casusl so much better.
So much “don’t understand” to go around, but as a trans woman I treasure the opportunity to learn to be me even when I don’t understand.
Hugs,
Charlene
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Yep we CD’s have a much better understanding about the time and effort GG’s go through to look pretty than regular men do and as a male trying to be as passable as possible it takes even more effort and time than most GG’s take. Its our passion and worth all the effort and expense when we look in the mirror and see the ugly duckling male has become a beautiful swan… well, in my case not a swan but at least a Mallard duck… I hope.
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Hi Jamie. LOL…. yep, I’m quackers for dressing… lol
Hi Jamie,
I have also found out that being a woman can be expensive and time-consuming.
I never used to appreciate how expensive good make-up is, or the length of time it takes to apply it properly.It does take time and preparation, but once I am ready and step out the door I feel really good.
Hugs,
Aurora
You are so right!
Sometimes I think it’s completely obvious what I’m doing in the bathroom. Wife and I use separate bathrooms, which I love! But I feel like at times she’s probably wondering, what is he doing in there all this time?!!
Men can be clueless!
Rebekka, I am allowed to spend my “Kathy time” when my bride is out of the house and by mutual agreement I can avail myself of being “Kathy” in the mornings, in my separate bathroom. I do so nearly every morning when there are no early out of house obligations. I usually fully dress – makeup, hair, a nice dress and stockings, etc. I then spend my time reading the digital daily newspaper – the San Diego Union Tribune, followed by checking email and spending laptop time on CDH. I get up earlier than my wife and so, I end up filling my coffee cup in the kitchen while fully dressed and made-up. There is a separate door that allows me to get to the rest of the house without passing thru the bedroom where she is sleeping. It works well for us – I get my time to be “Kathy” and she does not have to see me dressed as my alter-ego. Plus, when “Bob” emerges from the “inner sanctum”, I am ready to spend the rest of the day as “Bob. Win, win!
All things things or problems that make up being femme is the experience I crave and desire. The walking in heels, the runs in the pantyhose or stockings, The short skirts and dresses you have to be careful with in public, keeping the breasts looking perky and flattering, having hair look just right, getting makeup right, is a lot of work and effort for sure, but it’s been some of the most amazing, exciting and thrilling, euphoric and pleasurable experiences of my life.
I love being a crossdresser and can’t get enough of it.
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