- February 22, 2021 at 6:16 am #451961Katey DoeParticipantRegistered On: February 3, 2021Topics: 30Replies: 554Has thanked: 1354 timesBeen thanked: 1592 times
Hi Ladies, sorry to bother you again, but I have another question/issue.
First of all I’m not looking for any expert advice or counseling service.
I have this mental block and I think we all either have it or had it at one point of CD life. My mental block is shopping at a store. I really need this in my CD life. I need to go shopping in person for Katey. My issue is when I get in the store I feel like everyone is watching me, I feel like the security camera is following me. So with that in mind I make hasty decisions and buy what ever instead of taking my time and actually looking at the product. Now keep in mind that I have only been in store shopping twice.
Question: What advice or suggestion can you give me to help get me pass this mental block. uuuuggghhh its driving me CRAZY!!!!!
Please send help. Hugs-Katey
Total of 25 users thanked author for this post. Here are last 20 listed.
- February 24, 2021 at 10:32 am #453147LeahBaronessRegistered On: June 13, 2018Topics: 3Replies: 212Has thanked: 2789 timesBeen thanked: 677 times
I think when we are dressed, we are all a bit hyper sensitive to being noticed or found out, even more when we are out in Public. It is like we have this bright led lights or spot light on us to say ” here I am ad]ll dressed up” ..lol. Depending on where you are and where you are going, you will have a variety of reactions. Some good, some not so good. I remember seeing a lady dressed up as I was going to a meeting, I noticed her from a distance as she was smartly dressed in a pencil skirt and blazer, as I got closer, I saw and realized she was either TG or dressed up. No one around her ( about 20 people) were making and issues or fuss about her. She was calm as could be and like a fish in water.
So, a lot of our issues surrounding cross dressing are in our minds and we are our own worst enemy!
- February 24, 2021 at 9:43 am #453133Hilda BeaumontDuchessRegistered On: March 14, 2020Topics: 6Replies: 190Has thanked: 457 timesBeen thanked: 686 times
Can I endorse the idea of shopping with a woman friend. I came out to my friend Nina just over a year ago; we have been friends for almost 20 years. She was accepting, very kind and supportive and has given me lots of advice on about ‘femme’ matters. I stayed with her for a week last year pre lockdown and not only was she happy for me to dress whilst staying with her but we went out on all sorts of trips together; including clothes shopping, supermarket shopping, morning coffee and supper at a posh restaurant, all with me en femme as HildaRuth. It was a tremendous confidence boost. I’m very lucky to have her as a GG girl friend.
Love and hugs as always
- February 23, 2021 at 8:32 pm #452888Vecca SennLadyRegistered On: February 22, 2021Topics: 3Replies: 48Has thanked: 257 timesBeen thanked: 144 times
My trick is to shop with my wife or shop while away on business. It helps to have a girlfriend with you as backup or be in a place nobody knows you. Hope it helps.
- This reply was modified 1 week ago by Vecca Senn.
- February 24, 2021 at 9:02 am #453119
- February 24, 2021 at 4:29 am #452981Katey DoeLadyRegistered On: February 3, 2021Topics: 30Replies: 554Has thanked: 1354 timesBeen thanked: 1592 times
Hi Vecca, I wish I had a friend to go shopping with that would be so great. I have also thought about taking a long drive out of my area to go shopping. Hoping that I won’t run into anyone I know. Thank you for reaching out to me. Hugs Katey
- February 23, 2021 at 8:28 pm #452887Emily AltDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: August 24, 2019Topics: 11Replies: 490Has thanked: 394 timesBeen thanked: 2212 times
Like everyone else has said, nobody cares. Most other customers won’t even notice. The staff will be happy to make a sale. Especially now, retailers are desperate for every sale they can get.
Shopping with someone else can really help relieve your anxiety. If you have any local CDH girlfriends, make it an event! You’ll get some shopping done AND you’ll get some time out en femme! Seriously, shopping en femme is such a rush. Go for it!
- February 24, 2021 at 4:32 am #452983Katey DoeLadyRegistered On: February 3, 2021Topics: 30Replies: 554Has thanked: 1354 timesBeen thanked: 1592 times
Hi Emily, thank you for reaching out to me. All the ladies here have been so supportive. I really wish I had someone to go shopping with but I don’t so the plan for me right now is to continue to do little trips to build the confidence level and two maybe take a ride out of town to go shopping. I really love shopping for Katey. Hugs – Katey
- February 23, 2021 at 6:35 am #452510Susan JonesLadyRegistered On: February 20, 2021Topics: 3Replies: 12Has thanked: 39 timesBeen thanked: 94 times
I too have a bit of a block with this, and the only time I get to really browse through a woman’s wear department is when I’m with my SO (who doesn’t know about me) and we’re shopping for her.
…but with shops shut for so long now, I’ve really missed this and am determined to spend some Susan time (dressed as a guy) indulging in some woman’s clothes shopping.
In order for me to overcome this mental block, my first trip will still probably be to a shopping centre far away from my home town, where nobody knows me and I’ve devised a 6 step plan to gradually conquer my fears….
1) Just causally browse through the whole department, making sure I’m walk past members of staff etc.
…then once I realise that nobody cares about my presence….
2) Start to remove any item I like from the rail to take a closer look.
…and when I realise that the security guard isn’t going to rugby tackle me to the ground…
3) Take an item to a mirror and hold it up against me.
…and when no alarms go off…
4) Ask a member of staff’s opinion on an item of clothes. ie, “do you think this will fit me?”
..when they offer honest and helpful advice…
5) Ask about changing rooms and the store’s policy. (both John Lewis and M&S allow customers to use either gender’s changing room)
…when they explain that you are welcome to try items on in whichever changing room you feel most comfortable in….
6) Try the item on, feel wonderful and buy it! (then repeat and repeat and repeat until the credit card is maxed out!)
- February 24, 2021 at 4:36 am #452984LadyRegistered On: February 3, 2021Topics: 30Replies: 554Has thanked: 1354 timesBeen thanked: 1592 times
Hi Susan, thats a well thought out plan. I must confess I have completed the “dry runs” and walked through the ladies department scoping out my possible purchase and getting a lay on the land. I also have thought about taking a trip out of town to purchase my items. I live in a small town and I know a lot of people so option two will probably be best for me. Susan, thank you so much for your advice. Hugs – Katey
- February 23, 2021 at 5:19 am #452472Lee Ann RakersLadyRegistered On: August 18, 2019Topics: 4Replies: 588Has thanked: 943 timesBeen thanked: 1893 times
Twice is impressive.
When you are shopping are you dressed en femme or are you in guy mode?
Your goal right now should be to shop for a third time. See how it goes. Then your goal should be for a fourth time.
Katey, keep doing what you’re doing.
- February 23, 2021 at 5:39 am #452483LadyRegistered On: February 3, 2021Topics: 30Replies: 554Has thanked: 1354 timesBeen thanked: 1592 times
Hi Lee Ann, I have all my lady items on under my guy clothes. It helps knowing that I have my lady items on as I shop. I think part of the issue is of course I’m from a small town and I know a lot of people here, so might be afraid of running into someone I know. But thats the chance I’m willing to take. Big Hugs Katey
- February 23, 2021 at 4:53 am #452461Polly StewartLadyRegistered On: January 2, 2021Topics: 5Replies: 581Has thanked: 728 timesBeen thanked: 1703 times
Dear Katey… the only one who really cares… is you! Honest truth, just do it… like the old Nike motto says. Take your time, nobody’s watching (unless you’re stealing the Cadogan’s Guide to Bali) you. More over, no one is interested in you unless you ask for help or better still, buy something.
As has been said… confidence is a huge factor! It breeds itself 100 fold!
The only one in the store angsting about this is you… save your energy for something else. Just shop until you drop!
- February 23, 2021 at 5:03 am #452464LadyRegistered On: February 3, 2021Topics: 30Replies: 554Has thanked: 1354 timesBeen thanked: 1592 times
Hi Polly, I love you, You are straight forward with everything and you are spot on. I know I’m my own worst enemy and I know I will get by this, I won’t let this block stop me from treating Katey to nice lady things. Thank you Polly. Hugs Katey
- February 23, 2021 at 5:14 am #452471Polly StewartLadyRegistered On: January 2, 2021Topics: 5Replies: 581Has thanked: 728 timesBeen thanked: 1703 times
Ohh… thank you for that Katey… that’s so very kind of you!
Look… I do things just like my former male self… I just get dressed in my fineries and hey, hopp.. just go into that store with a firm, confident step, look and smile at everybody… go straight to what you want to look at and look at the bloody thing!
If someone comes over to help… ask about something, anything because they are there to help… some even like to help! Don’t worry about your voice… just keep it soft and don’t swear (too much)!
I really think you will surprise yourself and want to shop more and more in person. Today, when shopping with my wife’s girlfriend… I tried on a dress and came out of the dressing room and basically asked the whole shop what they all thought! All of them thought I had chosen well… hahaha. Bull by the horns Sweety!
Love you too, Polly
- February 22, 2021 at 3:28 pm #452262Gabriela InamorAmbassadorRegistered On: January 11, 2021Topics: 20Replies: 40Has thanked: 24 timesBeen thanked: 154 times
Very likely somebody already suggested this but… there are some cd/tg friendly stores. I can also tell you that every store which remains open is green/money friendly. But just to make sure, call the store you want to go shopping to ahead of time. Let them know you are thinking about going shopping there, and you just want to make sure they will be open that day. No, please don’t ask for their permission! You don’t need it! You are a paying customer.
Also, please reflect on this… if when you are there you behave like you don’t belong in there, people will treat you like you don’t belong there. And worse, they may think you are trying to steal something. Also, don’t volunteer “I’m shopping for my wife/girlfriend”. They really don’t care if it is for them, or for you, and also, they can’t help you find your size unless you reply “it is not for her, it is for me”.
Do you know your size? if you are in between a size 10 and a 30, may I suggest checking to see if you have a nearby Torrid store? They will love to have your business! (I must have spent close to 3k there in the last year, since they became my favorite store when I asked if they had any company policy about how to deal with cd/tg customers, and I was basically told that they treat everybody with the outmost respect, and believe me, that has been my experience!)
- February 23, 2021 at 5:07 am #452466LadyRegistered On: February 3, 2021Topics: 30Replies: 554Has thanked: 1354 timesBeen thanked: 1592 times
Hi Gabriela, I wish I had a store near me that support the CD world. All great advice and tips. I suppose I could do all my shopping online but that takes away from Katey enjoying the experience of actually going shopping. I try to be cool and smooth while shopping buuuuutttt that never last very long. I hope each time I go my confidence will build as well. Thank you Gabriela, Hugs – Katey
- February 22, 2021 at 3:15 pm #452260Stephanie ScottLadyRegistered On: February 8, 2021Topics: 9Replies: 73Has thanked: 217 timesBeen thanked: 346 times
I have a suggestion. (I have done this before to great success). Go out of town to a place where the likelihood of running in to someone is very low. Wait until about 45 minutes to closing at a women’s clothing store. Walk in and tell them you’re a crossdresser but you really need some help. Then watch them fall all over themselves to wait on you and help you find the perfect outfits and accessories. They love it, it makes their day interesting, and you’ll feel like a queen!
My 2 cents!
- February 22, 2021 at 3:04 pm #452254Patti JamesLadyRegistered On: January 5, 2021Topics: 2Replies: 74Has thanked: 562 timesBeen thanked: 263 times
Hi Katey. I have worked in different retail environments off and on for many years. I can say that stores of all shapes and sizes just want the sales. From a store owner point of view, they don’t care who is buying what, they’re just happy for the sale. From a store employee point of view, my experience has been they don’t care to the point of judging you. I’ve even had some sales associates compliment me on my various selections. I do shop for Patti in drab and I’ve even asked people for assistance. Sometimes we’re our own worst enemy. Just my two bits.
- February 23, 2021 at 5:42 am #452486LadyRegistered On: February 3, 2021Topics: 30Replies: 554Has thanked: 1354 timesBeen thanked: 1592 times
Hi Patti, well thank you for your two cents. I really appreciate all the tips and advice that I can get. Everyone has been so helpful. Thank you Patti, Big Hug Katey
- February 22, 2021 at 1:58 pm #452220Hilda BeaumontDuchessRegistered On: March 14, 2020Topics: 6Replies: 190Has thanked: 457 timesBeen thanked: 686 times
I remember being really frightened on my first shopping trip out. It wasn’t to a clothes store but a supermarket quite early in the morning around 07.00 as I remember. I did some food shopping and used a trolley for the goods I chose and when I went to the check out the lady on the checkout just did what check out assistants do, asked me if a needed a bag, I said No thank you, she ran my goods past the scanner and I placed each one in the bag I had, then she told me the price and I said I can tap that, it was under £30.00, which I did; then she gave me the receipt and said Have a good day and I said You too and walked off pushing my trolly with the bag of good in it. If she clocked me as a cross dresser she didn’t show it. I’ve been back there on lots of occasions doing food shopping and had no difficulties. This first step made it much easier to go to Marks and Spencers en femme and buy clothes and shoes!
Love and hugs
- February 22, 2021 at 1:39 pm #452211MacKenzie AlexandraAmbassadorRegistered On: May 20, 2016Topics: 45Replies: 546Has thanked: 137 timesBeen thanked: 1149 times
Bettylou is correct. It is a matter of time and confidence. In this area, we are our own worse enemy. And it will not come all at once. It has been several years since that I embraced many feelings and just over 2 years since I openly dress as I wish publicly. I can go’s shopping without a nerve for most clothing, whether masculine or feminine. However, I still struggle having a genuine conversation with a sales associate about bras. But I won’t stop trying because I know these feelings will subside with time.
- February 23, 2021 at 5:57 am #452491LadyRegistered On: February 3, 2021Topics: 30Replies: 554Has thanked: 1354 timesBeen thanked: 1592 times
Hello, and thank you for reaching out to me. I honestly don’t think the fear of shopping will ever go away for me. I do think the fear that I will have will be minimal as I continue to progress and go shopping often. Sometimes I overthink things and well I guess that I’m afraid of failing, so that is wear my fear comes from, or at least thats what I think. Thank you again, Big Hug Katey
- February 22, 2021 at 11:06 am #452144Bettylou CoxDuchessRegistered On: May 26, 2019Topics: 18Replies: 1835Has thanked: 3390 timesBeen thanked: 6288 times
IMO, it’s and egg/chicken situation. Once you have discovered that nobody really cares how you are dressed, the worry will vanish. You just have to get past the threshold. My first public outing was immediately after my first makeover, which gave me the extra confidence I needed. If you have a CD or GG friend to go with you, that would work, also.
“Plan B” would be a trip directly to a known CD-friendly place, such as Torrid, where you could even interact as Katey. Familiarty builds confidence. Good luck.
- February 23, 2021 at 5:47 am #452489LadyRegistered On: February 3, 2021Topics: 30Replies: 554Has thanked: 1354 timesBeen thanked: 1592 times
Hi Bettylou, thank you for replying. I wish I had a CD store near me. Everyone here has been so helpful and supportive I have received so many advice and tips. I can feel my confidence building by just reading all these tips. Thank you so much Bettylou Big Hugs Katey
- February 22, 2021 at 11:01 am #452141Trisha Lilly HibbertBaronessRegistered On: December 8, 2020Topics: 23Replies: 444Has thanked: 2657 timesBeen thanked: 1586 times
Hi honey, I remember my first shopping trip. I wore androgynous heeled boots, womens jeans, a yoga top and a drab coat over it. No one noticed, I even practiced my walk on the way.
My first trip out fully fem was at a quiet time. So maybe you could try early morning late night, like others have suggested. I found I’m when I’m fully dressed I’m so much more comfortable looking at feminine things. As far as anyone knows I’m just another woman.
- February 22, 2021 at 5:09 pm #452298LadyRegistered On: February 3, 2021Topics: 30Replies: 554Has thanked: 1354 timesBeen thanked: 1592 times
Hi Trisha, thank you for your suggestion. I look at the stores web site to see the busy hours and maybe I can avoid my nervous actions and take my time. Thank you again Hugs -Katey
- February 22, 2021 at 9:45 am #452080Clara CrossLadyRegistered On: December 7, 2020Topics: 7Replies: 137Has thanked: 371 timesBeen thanked: 621 times
Two more thoughts from Clara.
The more you shop, the easier it is to navigate the store. Knowing your way around a familiar layout is comforting. So go as often as you can.
I love the stores with aisles and aisles of close out items, i.e. Kohl’s, Penney’s, Macy’s. When you get lost in those racks you don’t care who’s around. It becomes a mission!
Bargain Basement Clara
(that’s BBC for our lovely UK sisters ; )
- February 23, 2021 at 5:59 am #452492Bettylou CoxDuchessRegistered On: May 26, 2019Topics: 18Replies: 1835Has thanked: 3390 timesBeen thanked: 6288 times
- February 23, 2021 at 4:56 am #452462LadyRegistered On: February 3, 2021Topics: 30Replies: 554Has thanked: 1354 timesBeen thanked: 1592 times
- February 23, 2021 at 4:29 am #452449
- February 22, 2021 at 9:22 am #452059Paula FDuchessRegistered On: August 7, 2019Topics: 12Replies: 903Has thanked: 9254 timesBeen thanked: 3508 times
First, you are NOT being a bother. This is something we all face at the beginning. It WILL pass with experience and gets easier every time you go.
First, find a Torrid or Maurice branch near you and go in drab. Look at everything and ask questions. The SA’s of both know that CD’s just like you want to, and often need, a safe place to go to find what you need and want. Lane Bryant is another safe place, if your nearest one is staying open. Gradually start wearing wearing femme items on your trips, loafers and maybe a femme ring or two (WalMart sells the bigger sizes too).
Each trip out, wear just one more femme item, the SA’s will notice and you will see a big change in how they work with you. Maybe a women’s button down blouse that looks vaguely like a mans shirt but buttons on the other side. As you gain confidence it will become much easier for you, and you will find most SA’s will work with you.
As far as other people staring or giving you odd looks, that is their problem, not yours. I know that I get some of those when out shopping, but I have learned to just ignore them. Most are too busy with their own life to really care, even inside one of the majors, like Macy’s or Kohl’s. Don’t give them a reason to stare, like mismatched colors or textures, and they usually won’t. I sometimes tell myself when I catch someone staring that they are just envious and can’t help it.
Have fun, go where ever you want. If you aren’t sure about a store accepting you dressed, just call ahead and ask, put them on the spot. Walk with confidence, back straight, head up, don’t slouch. Talk softly but don’t whisper. One thing you will notice in most adult women’s stores, is that it is quiet, almost enough to hear the AC blowing the air.
One thing about chains like Torrid and Maurice’s is that they are usually inside of a mall, and NEVER near an entrance. So you will have to walk the concourse to find them. Go on a Monday or Tuesday morning if you can, that is the slowest sales period of the week usually.
Hope this helps, but have fun and don’t be scared.
- February 23, 2021 at 6:04 am #452494LadyRegistered On: February 3, 2021Topics: 30Replies: 554Has thanked: 1354 timesBeen thanked: 1592 times
Hi Paula, thank you for all that wonderful advice and tips. All you ladies have been so supportive of me. I’m so happy to be here. I just got to push myself harder and get out there. I know no harm will come from shopping but its just a barricade I need to get by. Thank you so much. Hugs Katey
- February 22, 2021 at 8:58 am #452050Jeannie JonesDuchessRegistered On: October 9, 2020Topics: 8Replies: 163Has thanked: 478 timesBeen thanked: 611 times
- February 22, 2021 at 8:42 am #452039Bianca EverdeneLadyRegistered On: April 11, 2017Topics: 22Replies: 720Has thanked: 2766 timesBeen thanked: 2768 times
I totally get your mental block, I had it too, but smashed it.
Whats the worst that could happen.
Can only tell you my personal experiences and chatting to shop assistants. They honestly don’t care or think it’s weird in any way for a man to be there. They are there first and foremost to sell. And they know that the best way to do that is to make you feel comfortable and offer to help. If you don’t want help, a simple ‘I’m just browsing, thank you’ is all you need to say. But engaging with the sales assistants really does make things so much more fun. Pretend you’re buying for a girlfriend if you don’t want to blow your ‘cover’. But I’m way past that now🤣 The assistants are usually thrilled if you say it’s for you, and will treat you just like they would a woman, chatting about what you are looking for, style, colour, size, length, what’s on trend etc. Some may even think you are joking in which case it’s a good ice breaker. But in my experience just chillin, owning it, and engaging with the staff just makes the experience so much more enjoyable for you and the S.A. If you skulk about hiding, scurrying away etc you may only draw suspicion.
Maybe a bit like a skydive, terrifying, nervous, anxious before you do it, but once you take that leap, the thrill is exhilarating.
Go on try it💕
- February 22, 2021 at 7:54 am #452015
- February 22, 2021 at 7:46 am #452011Celeste StarreLadyRegistered On: June 26, 2018Topics: 34Replies: 836Has thanked: 245 timesBeen thanked: 2613 times
I don’t know what to say. It sounds like even if you buy things at a store you are not going to try them on first. If that’s true I really see no reason to shop in a store for clothes at all. Amazon and I assume other on line venues have free shipping both ways,more selections,and usually lower prices than brick&mortar and you’re not going to come into contact with any virus.
- February 22, 2021 at 7:35 am #452004LadyRegistered On: February 3, 2021Topics: 30Replies: 554Has thanked: 1354 timesBeen thanked: 1592 times
Hi Inga, I wish I could be like all of you. Everyone here is so brave. I can do so many things in life but I struggle with this. Maybe if I have a distraction such listen to music while I shop could help. Hmmm things to ponder. Thank you Inga, I love this place, Hugs Katey
- February 22, 2021 at 7:29 am #452001Tabitha TeeLadyRegistered On: July 30, 2020Topics: 6Replies: 291Has thanked: 1344 timesBeen thanked: 960 times
Hi Tabitha, thank you for your suggestion and replying. I get so nervous that I rush. I know I need to keep going and hopefully at some point it will become natural. Just getting to that point is tough. Hugs -Katey
It gets easier, honey. It helps to think about how you’ll feel wearing the item you’re looking at.
- February 22, 2021 at 7:39 am #452008
- February 22, 2021 at 7:15 am #451990Tabitha TeeLadyRegistered On: July 30, 2020Topics: 6Replies: 291Has thanked: 1344 timesBeen thanked: 960 times
Hi, Katie! I do all my shopping in person. Usually I ‘ll take a second to become Tabitha in my mind, sometimes my fallback “my wife would love this” comes up in my thoughts, just in case, but no one has ever questioned me. Ever. Once in a while I get a look from another shopper, but I always just give them a smile, and off I go. Good luck, dear. Never worry too much about what others think.
- February 22, 2021 at 6:56 am #451980Didi PhoxLadyRegistered On: January 25, 2021Topics: 7Replies: 112Has thanked: 131 timesBeen thanked: 535 times
I’ve struggled with this myself. I posted recently about the lengths I felt the need to go to to ‘mask’ my shopping habits.
But I had a lightbulb moment in a little boutique buying some leather leggings when I realised, the sales agents really don’t care who’s buying what and for who. For them it’s a slae, cash in the draw, commission in their pocket (or however they’re incentivised), and to that end my money’s as good as anyone else’s. I’m just a unmemorable face in a crowd of 000’s they’ll see that day.
From that point on, shopping’s been great. A lot of the people I encounter are kind and helpful and, you know what, if they want to have a little titter after I’ve left, what do I care, they don’t pay my bills.
- February 22, 2021 at 7:23 am #451996
- February 22, 2021 at 6:48 am #451976LisaTLadyRegistered On: January 31, 2021Topics: 15Replies: 176Has thanked: 120 timesBeen thanked: 702 times
My suggestion would be to go to your nearest friends lingerie department. Go straight up to one of the sales girls and ask her for help. It doesn’t matter what you are buying but for best effect I would ask for help sizing and trying on a bra. The sales girls are trained to make customers feel at ease and spending money. Hopefully her friendly service will help relax you and break the block.
- February 22, 2021 at 7:26 am #451998
- February 22, 2021 at 6:46 am #451975Tara JeaneLadyRegistered On: December 12, 2020Topics: 2Replies: 88Has thanked: 798 timesBeen thanked: 409 times
Hi Katey! First of all, you aren’t ‘bothering’ ANY of us by asking questions. That’s why we’re all here, so we can ask questions and feel the love and support that we need. So, there’s your first hurdle. Be yourself here. Be open. Be honest. There is no judgement here!
I think what helped me when I started shopping was that, even though I was dressed as a man, I was ALL girl. I was doing everything en femme (walking, gestures, etc). So, that helped me and I didn’t have anything in my cart that WASN’T girlie. But, I just walked around with my head up and confident because I WAS a girl. Now, I also tried to stay in aisles that were mostly empty and I don’t sidle up to anyone and start having a conversation. I just was there for my business and others were there for theirs.
I did notice maybe a sideways glance or two, but by and large, no one cared. I think that is the part we ALL need to realize is that, for the most part, other people are in their own little worlds and don’t care what someone else is looking at or buying. Maybe start off at a Walmart, so that you can buy your ‘intimates’ at the self checkout lane and work your way up to checkers.
Funny story, my second time at Walmart, I found a PERFECT bra and when I got to the self checkout, it didn’t have a tag. So the helper lady came buy and I had to ask her about it and I had already scanned a bunch of stuff. She was SUPER nice about it and said she’d hold the self checkout register for me while I went to get another one with a tag. I said, no I can’t hold up the register (cuz I didn’t want my panties and stuff just sitting there and they were busy), so she canceled the order for me while I went back to get a new bra. She knew all that stuff was for me and didn’t for a second treat me like anything but a GG.
Out of all the stuff I’ve bought (bras, panties, dresses, shoes), and it was all in person, I just walked up confidently and bought them. The person at the register either was just business and pleasant or they actually engaged me and said how pretty or cute whatever I was buying was and I just responded as if it was natural for me to be buying whatever I was buying. (When that happens, it feels awesome!)
Good luck with your next shopping experience!!
*kisses* tara 🙂
- February 22, 2021 at 7:31 am #452002LadyRegistered On: February 3, 2021Topics: 30Replies: 554Has thanked: 1354 timesBeen thanked: 1592 times
Hi Tara, I would have freaked out. I had nail polish the last time and it would not ring up after numerous attempts I left it on the counter. I know this is just a mental block but I’m just having such a tough time. I’m my own worst enemy at times. Thank you sooooo much for reaching out. Hugs Katey
- February 22, 2021 at 7:38 am #452007Tara JeaneLadyRegistered On: December 12, 2020Topics: 2Replies: 88Has thanked: 798 timesBeen thanked: 409 times
You’ll get there. Try the self checkout. Because all of this was new to me starting in December, I’ve had to experiment with sizes and I’ve had to take stuff back too! Really, I think the people at the registers are trained to just do their job and not react. Nothing I’ve bought or returned has been an issue.
*kisses* tara 🙂
- February 22, 2021 at 9:37 am #452071Clara CrossLadyRegistered On: December 7, 2020Topics: 7Replies: 137Has thanked: 371 timesBeen thanked: 621 times
Tara, your comments reminded me that one thing that never bothered me, even though it’s a chore, is returning something that doesn’t fit. One; it necessitates that you need to have a real life, face-to-face interaction with a real person. Two; they’ll ask if there was a problem with the garment. It’s weird but I usually get a little rush saying, “no, just the wrong size” and assuming the clerk knows it didn’t fit ME.
- February 22, 2021 at 6:43 am #451974Inga KrasivayaLadyRegistered On: January 18, 2021Topics: 10Replies: 252Has thanked: 293 timesBeen thanked: 827 times
Hi there, Katey: from your profile page, it looks like you’re shopping in drab – yes, it’s a problem… I know the exact trouble: it may be that no-one is actually staring at you while you’re checking out that pretty bra but you can still feel the eyes drilling holes through the back of your skull. Been there; done that; bought the mini skirt… The only thing that even came close to helping me was to distract myself; I therefore got as well under-dressed as I could before going to the shop; the feeling I had of “Wow! No-one knows!” seemed to take my mind off of the possibility that anyone else was watching me. I then decided to grit my teeth and tell myself that I was going to look at two different bras no matter what – and the only way I could force myself to do that was by digging my fingernails into my arm as hard as possible. Who would have thought the unwelcome pain would make me slow down? Point is that it distracted me from feeling that I was being watched. I don’t know if any of this will help you, but I really hope it at least gives you something to consider. Loads of hugs: Inga. XOXOXO
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