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How many times have you said, “I should have”…..
Has anyone ever said to you, “When the opportunity presents itself you should seize the moment.”
Or maybe you mentioned to a friend, “I had the chance to do that once, but”…..Most missed opportunities go unnoticed until you reach a point in your life that you regret what you can’t go back and change. I recently found myself in a position to open my eyes and take a good look at all the things that could have changed and been different in my life. So many times I said, “I’ll do that later.” Well, it’s later now and now it’s too late. Yet I can hear that quiet little voice in my head saying to me, “It’s never too late.” That’s debatable my quiet little friend…..
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The only regret I have is the fact I did not graduate college. That said, at age 59 I was diagnosed with ADD. I hated my 2 years of college and that diagnosis put it in perspective. Fortunately, I had 2 very good careers in my life. Neither would have benefited from a college degree. I am now 77 and comfortably retired since age 62. Nonetheless, I wish I had been able to deal better with the demands of getting a college education.
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Regrets coming from missed opportunities can be hard to deal with sometimes.
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Registered On: November 18, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 462Has thanked: 543 timesBeen thanked: 1829 timesAt the moment I can’t think of missed opportunities, but I do recall many, many misplayed opportunities, even more outright mistakes, and far too many very deep regrets.
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I have always tried to go back and fix things I did wrong. It never worked.
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- Registered On: November 18, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 462Has thanked: 543 timesBeen thanked: 1829 times
I agree. In my experience, efforts to make amends have futile, except for knowing that I tried. And of course, regret is a powerful tool for learning from one’s mistakes.
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I guess I wish I knew more what a CD is. I thought I was some kind of freak. I tried so many times over so many years. I thought I was the only person like that. A few years ago I finally figured it out. I guess that’s just the way it played out.
I try not to focus on the “what ifs”. Life is a journey. Would we even be who we are if we had traveled different roads?
Godspeed on your journey. May you continue to find the peace and contentment you need.
We’re all in this together.3 users thanked author for this post.
Thank you, your compassion and caring are clearly evident.
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My biggest wish is that I had explored this side of me earlier in my life. I had a time when I lived alone before I was married and had to opportunity to dress at will. There were earlier times when I was still consumed with shame and societal pressures, so I missed big opportunities. I really wonder where I might have gone had I done so. Maybe my life would have turned out very differently. This isn’t to say that I am completely disappointed with my life but I do have the path not taken toughts.
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The “what ifs” will drive us crazy if we allow it. I’ve learned that the best way to deal with missed opportunities is recognize them as “missed” opportunities and move on. You sound like your. content with your life now. Thrive in that.
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- Registered On: November 26, 2017Topics: 18Replies: 279Has thanked: 667 timesBeen thanked: 1375 times
“It’s never too late to be what you were meant to be.”
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You sound like the little encouraging voice in my head. Thank you
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- Registered On: September 24, 2021Topics: 27Replies: 318Has thanked: 2147 timesBeen thanked: 1938 times
Only regret I have regarding missed opportunities is that I wish I would of come to terms with my stephanie side when I was much younger. Always felt she was with me but I was to busy being a manly man to let her shine. Once as a late teen I let a few girls dress me up with makeup and such and I knew then that stephanie was inside..and besides I was so cute, really wish I would have explored more at that age.
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Regretting missed opportunities is normal. Don’t dwell on it. Move on and embrace who you are.
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- Registered On: August 23, 2015Topics: 3Replies: 360Has thanked: 12852 timesBeen thanked: 1583 times
Wendie,There are a few things I would have done differently,but all in all,my life is doing well.I made it thru VietNam in a Recon platoon{thats why Mom and Dad went grey early}lol,I worked almost twenty years as a GM mechanic {loved the muscle car days} and retired as a Court Security Officer from Maricopa County,Phoenix Az,.My mission now is to be the best part time lady aka crossdresser ,that I can be and have fun doing it.Michelle is going for a few road trips to explore Arizona.
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Keep seeking and enjoying. Have a great road trip.
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- Registered On: April 15, 2022Topics: 22Replies: 374Has thanked: 610 timesBeen thanked: 1749 times
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
Mark Twain
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What great advice !!
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- Registered On: March 16, 2022Topics: 1Replies: 550Has thanked: 2832 timesBeen thanked: 2194 times
Oh Wendie, All of these responses to your question have brought up old memories. If I had a working time machine I would really do some corrective management in my life but that Delorean is in the back of the barn needing a battery. I’ve had 4 near death experiences and it was right after the third one (almost 40 years ago) that I finally woke up and realized that if I had permanently bit the dust, I would have missed out on the chance to do so many more things that I really wanted to do. So, I changed my lifestyle, tried to be healthy and started doing all the things that I wanted (within reason and not hurting people). This was before I found out at I was intersex and started living openly. It has been a grand life, although my family refers to me as “the child”and rolls their eyes. Living this way did have some drawbacks though and lead me to my fourth NDE (an uncontrolled spin in a WWII T-6 Texan heading straight for the ground but was fortunately corrected just in time by my Instructor Pilot). While I haven’t flown that plane ever again, I still look forward to whatever grand adventure tomorrow may bring even if it’s only taking out the garden compost. My advice is to not be afraid but don’t be stupid. Never ventured, never gained. I actually usually eat my dessert first. That way if I’m suddenly struck by a piece if space junk I won’t have to wonder in the next life if that blueberry pie was really as good as it looked. Enjoy every moment of life! Party on, Marg
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- Registered On: November 26, 2017Topics: 18Replies: 279Has thanked: 667 timesBeen thanked: 1375 times
Sometimes I feel like I’m at a crossroads. Do I transition to become the whole woman that I believe I am? Or do I remain a man for the sake of my wife? I’ve mentioned to her, numerous times, that it would be such a regrettable shame to reach the end of your life, knowing that you had the ability & the means to make such a change, yet didn’t.
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- Registered On: April 15, 2022Topics: 22Replies: 374Has thanked: 610 timesBeen thanked: 1749 times
Here is another encompassing quote from Mr.Twain that can apply to all of us here as we take this CD journey.
“Life is short, break the rules. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that makes you smile.”
Mark Twain7 users thanked author for this post.
Such an exciting person enjoying an exciting life. Being determined and in control of most things works for you. Seek out the opportunities and march on !!
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- Registered On: January 8, 2020Topics: 8Replies: 720Has thanked: 5671 timesBeen thanked: 3058 times
In the last few years since coming out to my wife and starting therapy I have pondered this. There are many times I have asked myself “what if…”. I wonder how different my life would have been if I had embraced my dressing and other things when younger. Unfortunately I will never know the answer, however, as I move forward I can now be myself without feeling guilty or ashamed. I have also come to realize that I don’t have to share everything with the world, but can share with those I trust. While I may not be totally out there just knowing is freeing. The past is there to learn from and life is meant to be lived in the moment while the future remains a mystery. One thing I have learned is that you need to love yourself for who you are rather than live your life as you think others want you to.
XOXO
Suzanne10 users thanked author for this post.
Well said Suzanne. I feel that your comment can be an inspiration to other girls like ourselves. Accepting missed opportunities for what they are can give us peace. It is my desire that some other girl will see your comment who is struggling with an opportunity and know that whatever decision she makes everything will work out. You are a real inspiration to others. Thank you.
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Junior year of college my housemates decided to go to a Halloween party in drag. This was a long time ago and resources were slim. They looked awful. I was too spooked to go and instead drove two hours to spend the weekend with my girlfriend. Had I went to the party I am sure it would have been obvious I had dressed before as I had no problems walking in five inch heels back in those days. Probably would have been the belle of the ball. I guess that’s why I couldn’t go through with it. Oh well. We still get together every year for a trip and I talk to them frequently; it would never occur to me to come out to them though. No need.
if that’s my biggest regret I guess I am doing ok!
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The journey that we all take presents us with many choices. We often find ourselves alone to navigate through many situations. The directions that we choose profoundly effect our journey in ways that no one else but ourselves can appreciate and understand. The “what if’s” that come from our missed opportunities should be a learning experience. Being comfortable and happy with ourselves makes everything else fall into place. I appreciate your comment and I hope that the rest of your journey is a pleasant one.
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- Registered On: October 19, 2022Topics: 16Replies: 918Has thanked: 1758 timesBeen thanked: 2895 times
“Never let yesterday use up today.” Terry Talbot
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- Registered On: September 29, 2019Topics: 84Replies: 1362Has thanked: 3143 timesBeen thanked: 6382 times
Wendy, I can so relate. I don’t know if all this crossdressing is for me or maybe go all the way and start transitioning. BUT am so much more at peace with myself and the world around me when I am Cassie. In 4 weeks I will be 69> At my age I might have 28 days left to live or 28 years and I know I HAVE to try to be as much my female self as possible. Being my new Cassie self is so much more my real self.
. Cassie
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- Registered On: April 22, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 797Has thanked: 2807 timesBeen thanked: 1879 times
“In 4 weeks I will be 69” Cassie
In about 9 weeks, I too will be 69. 🥳
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- Registered On: April 15, 2022Topics: 22Replies: 374Has thanked: 610 timesBeen thanked: 1749 times
in March I turned 76!, and I didn’t miss any opportunities in my Crossdressing life. I’ve done all, anything I wanted to do as a CD, since I was a young teen. it took years and lots of practice.
On another fearful missed opportunity that I did achieve was to live my dream, my passion and #1 thing in my Bucket List/ and that was to go to New Zealand before I died. I literally had to wait 50 years for that to happen- but I DID IT at age 68- fulfilled my dream😉👍
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It sounds like Cassie knows what she wants. That makes being Cassie so much more satisfying.
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- Registered On: October 15, 2018Topics: 17Replies: 1194Has thanked: 921 timesBeen thanked: 5028 times
I’ve seen too many times the so-called “butterfly effect,” where one seemingly inconsequential decision ends up with significant consequences. I can’t live my life with “shoulda, woulda, coulda”. If small changes can bring on changes to so many around me, who knows what big changes would have done.
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I feel that you are a mover and a shaker. Having control over the little things makes dealing with the big things easier
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- Registered On: July 20, 2020Topics: 7Replies: 671Has thanked: 8711 timesBeen thanked: 3429 times
Often times our biggest regrets are over the things we didn’t do.
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- Registered On: April 11, 2017Topics: 38Replies: 1161Has thanked: 5233 timesBeen thanked: 5328 times
It’s my mantra now, since my inner Bianca came out to play.
Better to regret doing something than to regret not doing it. No more regrets here.
Im always respectful and polite, do nobody any harm. If they don’t like how I present or act, it’s their problem, not mine. Great way to sift out the haters and intolerant people from your life. I’m now me, not who I’m meant to be for others.B x
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You are a proud sister and definitely in control
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- Registered On: March 23, 2016Topics: 101Replies: 417Has thanked: 865 timesBeen thanked: 2193 times
Reading from so many others on here that seem to be my age or older, I’ve realized that a lot of time does get lost and yet it’s never too late.
Do I wish I embraced, accepted, admitted, and shared being a CD when I was younger. Absolutely. But life might have turned out differently, and who knows if it would have been this good. I’m thankful for what I have, what I’ve experienced.
I do want an open closet, an open fashion choice where I can truly wear whatever. The hope is one day. Others on here have inspired me that hope is real, it could happen, just takes patience.
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Yes!!! I have also sat back and taken a look at all the opportunities I have missed. That voice is now getting louder and saying “now is the time”. It’s never too late. Still nervous after a life of hiding but now or never!!! I am going for now!!!
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Embrace it sister !! #DRESSED FOREVER
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There is a few rimes where I said “I should have”. Very few if any had anything to do with dressing. To me dressing is exciting, thrilling and an amazing rush. Patty is a character I created to experience those things. She is not real life.
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The experience of crossdressing is best understood by ourselves.
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And I think everyone has their own experiences.
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- Registered On: August 8, 2018Topics: 2Replies: 331Has thanked: 285 timesBeen thanked: 1293 times
Should’ve, would’ve, could’ve. Words I’m happy to say are not felt often in my life, I’ve been able to grab most of what I’ve wanted as I’ve traveled on this journey through life. My only regret would be that society made it so, that being a CD and caught in my youth would not have gone well and when I look in the mirror now and see this old person it’s hard not to say, “you should have learned make up when you didn’t have so much to hide.”
All in all though, I’m a happy camper.
Sherri
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You go girl !! #DRESSED FOREVER
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- Registered On: November 15, 2019Topics: 5Replies: 638Has thanked: 44 timesBeen thanked: 2137 times
Two things.
Fifty years too late I realized I had been a total ass to the girl I should have given myself to.
Once I got on the wrong fishing boat and missed a chance to see a giant marlin landed.
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- Registered On: September 18, 2020Topics: 5Replies: 82Has thanked: 213 timesBeen thanked: 459 times
Wendie, I’ve pondered that often. I have known that I am a woman, living within a biological “mistake”, for 61 years. I only regret being here at 67 because there are just so many wonderful things yet to see, do, and live for. I know that because I have enjoyed such a wonderful and fulfilling life thus far, albeit looking very wrong on the outside.
The expression that I live for daily is: I am going to die in a dress. I just hope that it’s no time soon!
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Age has a way of making us appreciate the things in the here and now. #DRESSED FOREVER
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Don’t regret the things that “could have been”. Reach out for the things that “can be”.
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- Registered On: September 13, 2019Topics: 12Replies: 1021Has thanked: 1 timeBeen thanked: 4285 times
This is so true. The problem with woulda, could, and shoulda is that that is living life in the past, and our lives are about the future. There is nothing wrong with learning from the past, but we need to use those lessons to move into our futures.
Of course, there are things I wish I had done but didn’t, but I do not dwell on regrets and look toward the future. I have lived, and am still living a pretty amazing life, and while it is winding down a bit, the time I have left I intend to enjoy and not worry about what I didn’t do.
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#DRESSED FOREVER
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You are wise beyond your years sister
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- Registered On: April 20, 2022Topics: 7Replies: 354Has thanked: 1223 timesBeen thanked: 1786 times
As my late mother would say “you should’ve, would’ve, could’ve but didn’t.” Yes so many times for me.
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