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Hi Sisters… friends…girls who give me strength. It’s been quite tumultuous around here lately hasn’t it? Not only is February a depressing month to begin with, and the weather miserable ( except for you lucky southern hemisphere girls ), this perpetual pandemic is fraying the nerves of the best of us. Bad days seem to be a lot more common- for me anyway – than they were last year. Hell, I havent gone without work this long since 2004 when my father died and I totally lost it for 6 months, I’m certainly in a rut myself in that regard. But even now I still come here because I feel better being around ” my people “, as a friend once put it. My fellow sisters here warm me, whether they are being sad, mad, silly, sassy, or just crazy. You girls have melted my heart one moment, and made me roll my eyes the other moment, and I love you for it. And it makes my heart cry when girls leave, especially the good ones. I realize such things happen for several different reasons as we move on and forward with our journeys. We have lost a couple of our sisters ( my friends ) lately and once again my heart is heavy. I had just recovered losing my dear friend Kay months ago and now must grieve more loss. I realize as a support site that it is inevitable that people come and go as they gain what they need here and grow in life, but it still hurts. Our greatest strength, diversity of opinion, can also cause friction at times, but these things are – or should – be trivial when compared to the grief and friction we have all experienced as crossdressers/ transgenders. When someone makes fun of me and laughs at how I look and I cry, I feel better coming here. (Honest at times I have run here). What the hell am I getting at? I dunno, I’ve been rambling I think…. but each girl here should hug themselves and love who they are and know how they help others by just being who they are. And I do not want to start singing Kumbaya in a circle, but can all give each other a hug?
As a P.S. – please realize management sweats there butt off working and trying to keep us all here together happy and safe! More than one night ends in tears and sadness for the admin too.
Sorry for my rant or whatever this was…
You girls do mean a lot to me even if I do not show it as much as I’d like to. Okay, I’ll just finish now and seal this with a kiss.💋 … and smile 😁.
Stevie “honey girl”
Not a rant at all Stevie. I’ve wondered about these things as well. I’ve only been here two months but know that there are many who came here before me and many to follow. We know there are roughly 30,000 members on CDH but obviously not all active. That tells me that the membership is constantly churning. It also makes it safe to assume that there have been other “shooting stars” in the past and likely will be in the future as well.
I’ll miss Grace as many others will too. But we can only be in the moment that we have. Rejoice in it while you can.
One of my favorite songs is Gathering of Spirits by Carrie Newcomer. And one of my favorite lines from that song is, “some give it all in one great flame, throwing kisses as they pass.” That’s our Grace Scarlett.
So here’s to all the shooting stars past, present and yet to come.
Best,
Clara
A prescient observation, Stevie. Thanks for sharing it. We all seek connection and to be seen. This site has connected me with some wonderful sisters in my geography and beyond. For that I’ll forever be grateful. Meeting CDs/transwomen and cis-allies while en femme for the first time was a truly mind-blowing experience, and it wouldn’t have happened, or at least happened the amazing way it did, without this safe an encouraging website.
Seems that friends and acquaintances often have a natural rhythm of connecting and disconnecting through the years. Life happens, as they say. May you find new friends and keep others close for the whole ride!
Stevie, it has been a hard year for sure, but I want you know that you are an inspiration to me, and I mean that with all my heart, “hun” 💖❤️😀
Hi Honey girl Stevie you as many here are treasures to my heart and as this whole senerio has caused us to loose a wonderful Treasure and please not more my heart lost a vital piece of my exsistence and cant afford to loose more .. you never have a rant here as we love hearing from you and the other girls here thats what i joined here for as i had my wife to be a friend with as she is very supportive and will never trade her love and support .. I as we all need just a little more as CDH has given me a better life as Stephanie and beyond that is friendships beyond words can compare im really in heaven here so i hope this gets out so others can read and please sit down and take a deep breath before you walk out the door to leave besides the relief you are trying to get you are causing lots of us more grief by leaving the ones that do love you .. Sorry Sweet Honey girl for taking up your post with my rant also he he love you all please take that deep breath and wait another day and then decide on your fate ..
Love you sweet honey girl Stephanie
Girlfriend I ain’t going anywhere!!! !!!! Gadzooks, didnt want to give that impression. I’ve laid down roots, you’re stuck with me sweetie.😘
Stevie
Thanks for your topic Stevie, I needed to read something like this after reading the comment thread in Katey’s innocently-started topic which really got out of control. And despite the minus 33 Celsius temperature, I had to go for an hour’s long walk to clear my head after that one. My feeling is that there are way more important things going on in life than to get involved in a drama. A close friend of mine; his leukemia has just come back and now only has a few months to live (a bunch of us are going to do a drive-by of his house in 30 minutes, his wife is arranging that he will be outside with his grandkids to see us). Another close friend also has terminal cancer which reminds me I should give him a call). And as some of you know, my BF Paige, my dog, died recently so I was already grieving. Notwithstanding, I still love coming to CDH to learn from others and to share my experiences. Being a Canadian, we tend to be polite and don’t get too riled up about things, and try to be peacemakers if at all possible. Stevie, you are a great Ambassador for us and thank you for taking on this position. I better start prepping for our drive-by and put a We Love You sign in my SUV window. Big Hugs to All of You, Krista.
You really put things in perspective there Krista, we need to remind ourselves of the big things too. So sorry to hear You can look anywhere and find sadness and grief, the happy places are too few and far between at times. And I prefer happy. I’m so sorry to hear about your friends, I know that feeling. I hope that if it is terminal that they can at least spend their last time among loved ones. And thank you for that compliment sweetie, that really does warm my heart more than you know ❤.
Stevie
Hi Stevie, sweetie, I hope Grace comes back soon it will be dull without her and Stephanie too and all the other girls who come to this site x
I’m sorry the whole is not bigger than the one it’s all the one’s who make up the whole who are more important,
We have to stick together on here because we are all human beings with feelings,
I know that when i visit CDH I’m among friends who are just like me!! Well i wish i was more like some of the girls on here and didn’t worry about coming out xxxxx
Hugs Rozalyne x
Oh I never meant to suggest each one of us is not important hon, just that the whole will continue to survive. 😊
Hi Stevie that’s ok i know what you meant,
The whole will survive but it’s sad when people leave all we can do is hope they return,
It’s like when you leave a place of work and you have friends there and you start to work somewhere else you miss your old friends but you make new friends in your new job,
When you get older like me you wonder what became of the people you left behind, i still think about people who i worked with in the 1970’s even though I’ve not seen them for nearly 50 years xxxxx
Hugs Rozalyne x
Hi Stevie,
I love your thoughts on this. Here we are in an affinity group, a group of people linked by a common interest or purpose. Yet, the more we get to know one another the more like a family we feel, sharing good times and bad, personal experiences, likes and dislikes. And sometimes like a family, we glance at one of the other members of that family and wonder – did we really have the same parents?
Because sometimes, we don’t necessarily agree on absolutely everything, like we sometimes hope that at least most family members do, or at least really close friends, or even closer spouses, and even offspring.
We’re each alike in that we have this need or desire or enjoyment of dressing, but at the same time, we all come from different backgrounds, different upbringings, different socializing activities.
Right now in Covid attempted lockdown, my spouse and I do get together with some kind of regularity with two other couples, who live nearby, which we have been doing now for a year. And to tell the truth, I’m still absolutely amazed as besides a lot of commonality in our backgrounds and enjoyment of the others company (which we are careful to be aware of any others we chance to meet and quarantine if there’s a chance of spreading), we still have some significant differences, especially in the world of politics.
But somehow we have been able to put that aside (in these troubling times) and treasure what we do have without an ounce of political discussions that could easily end what little socializing we now do, and we enjoy, and appreciate what we have.
There are, what? 30,000 members here? maybe several hundred at a time getting on, occasionally posting, thanking, voting. That’s an awful lot of potential diversity even with the singular interest or purpose we do share. We come from vastly different backgrounds, we’re quite young to ‘reasonably’ old, married, single, in relationships, venturing out, still hiding just outside the closet, new people constantly joining and some even liking what they see and wanting to participate or just lurking in the background.
I would say there is one other aspect to our ‘affinity’ and that is we want to be accepted, for who each of us is and what each of us wants to be. And that’s as different as 30,000 differences. And how do we do it? By sharing and hoping that others share, and listening and offering suggestions if asked, and maybe just ‘holding a hand’, seeing someone who is a little different than you and saying, ‘it’s all right, I care about you, others here do also, you’re okay.’ Or it can be, ‘I understand a little of your situation, here’s what I did in a similar moment, I hope it helps.’
If you’re a cross-dresser and you can’t be validated here, I’m not sure where you can. People may leave here for various reasons and it’s their business. I wish them well, I hope they return with good news about their lives. For the ones here, whether you post or lurk, I hope you stay and feel comfortable and maybe learn something, and share if you want, and feel good about yourselves with what the moderators and the posters are trying to do, to help themselves and help each other and anyone who joins regardless of who you are. I know I do, knowing there are caring, sharing, compassionate others out there.
Hugs
Hi…I’m new….
is this always like this…it seems so sad…
Serenity
It’s always sad to lose a friend. Sometimes you manage to reconnect with them unexpectedly, sometimes years later. It was like that in the Navy, you’re always transferring, or your friend does, always a changing kaleidoscope of people in your world, but always some in your wake. I guess for some reason, I always thought that once I retired from the service that the constant change would cease, or at least slow down. I very much hope that Grace returns, and that Steph and Amanda don’t leave. I miss my friends.
Bridgette
Yes, I have been here just about exactly two years, and I have grown a lot, the help from others here has been wonderful, and invaluable to me.
Like everyone else I’m made many friends, some of which are still here, a few I’m actually met, but so many others have gone away. A few have said goodbye, most simply disappear!
One wonders what had happened to them? Did they just get outed by a SO, and have to give it all up, or what else could have happened? I also worry if someone had a sudden health crisis and could not get back here too.
One or two I have worried about since they departed, as they seemed to be troubled souls, who just had to move on. I dearly hope they found some peace within themselves, as I wish the same for all of us.
Now we have so much turmoil in our lives which makes life so much more difficult for all of us. Though like Stevie, I love this site and it is a bit of an escape from the rest of the world. I love reading the posts, articles, and seeing the pictures, and try to comment on many of them.
So lets keep this a wonderful place where we can find friends and have respite from the world around us.
Amy
After 5 or 6 years here I have seen girls/people come and go, some faster than others. I know personally of a few and what they are now doing. They are free doing what we do, some quit, some are back in hiding, some are still confused and trying to find a place in life. Although CDH & TGH are wonderful sites to come to not all find it here and move on. I too wonder about and hope all are doing well.
Thank you Steph. I hate seeing people leave, and I still feel this was a snowball that grew way out of proportion for what it was. I’m sure we could sit down and find blame and grief to spread around, but what would that solve? Like to think at CDH the whole is greater than the sum of the parts, and the fresh parts joining us daily adds to the greatness. Still, before others leave over…. this, please remember you have many other girls here that do not want to suffer more friends leaving over this.
And, I never give up on thinking our once departed girls may return again.
Stevie
Hi Miss Stephanie and you four cant call you musketeers how about winches well you know what i mean yes you all made this a more funny and exciting place to log onto every night when i got home from work .. So miss Grace has left and so hope things will get better and she comes back and please like a said to you dont go please sit down and take a breath as miss Amanda and Sammy also girls you are taking more and more of my heart when you leave as it has grown so much since i came here its not time to go yet .. Please dont leave love you all ..
Stephanie B
Stephanie, I pray that you 3 re-consider. Yes, we are all part of the whole, but you 4 brits breathed so much love, laughter, confidence, and inspiration into us, I speak for myself when I say, WE DO NEED YOU HERE,.
I kow I am guilty because I have been mostly absent fo the last few weeks, and I’m sorry, but life must come first sometimes, so I have no idea what went on, nor do I think I want to, if it is makeing wonderful people like yourselves want to leave.
Im heartbroken, but not going anywhere
RegiStephanie Plumb has just about covered most aspects of what needs to be said. Both of us have been working behind the scenes to get Grace back. But it seems a element here seems intent on destroying or attacking personally. Grace was a pure inspiration to this Site,, an example to all. As Stephanie said to be brought down by one person who has never contributed anything is sad. For that Stephanie and I stand with our friend.
Hey, I must have missed something, what happened to get everyone so upset?
sounds like it, don’t do drama
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