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Last week was a really big one for me in my gender exploration. I’ve tried to write this post twice before and lost both of them by touching the wrong spot on my phone screen. Both attempts were filled with every little detail so this time I’m going to attempt to summarize. So here it goes:
I found a corset that fit just right and purchased it. Told my hairstylist I wanted to grow my hair long then told her why and came out to her. She was totally accepting and excited and now is going to help me with my makeup. Made me really happy when she told me we are going to have a great friendship, and we’ve been texting back and forth like girlfriends ever since. Went to a wig shop and tried on several and fell in love with a lace front that made me feel oh so feminine and purchased it immediately.
Went shopping at Torrid in drab. My new favorite store with cute styles for big girls like me and the only brick and mortar I’ve found with shoes that will fit me. Tried on several cute tops and a pair of jeans that I rocked, but decided to wait until I could go back and try them on with my padded panties. Bought a pair of black tights, a really cute floral pattern top, and a teal colored camisole, an outfit I’d chosen after carefully observing what women in my area wear for a casual day of shopping.
Then on Friday I drove an hour to my friends condo. She is a dear old friend that I came out to a little over a month ago and generously offered to let me store my wardrobe at her place and dress up there. She also gave me a key so I can go when she’s not there. And to top it all she offered to order products for me with her card and have them delivered to her home. I got my first pair of breastforms two weeks ago with her help. I really love her and don’t know how I’ll ever really be able to repay her kindness. So back to last Friday, I dressed in my new casual outfit, did my makeup, trying a new foundation from Sephora that my new GGF stylist had recommended, put on my oh so gorgeous new wig, topped it off with jewelry, admired myself in the mirror then walked out the door into the world for the first time as my full feminine self.
It felt so wonderful walking through the grounds of the condo complex with my head held high and a smile on my face. I’d been practicing my walk for weeks and concentrated on performing it to the best of my ability. I made it to my car without encountering anyone, checked myself in the mirror then drove away for the first time as a woman. I drove to a large thrift store I’d been wanting to check out and shopped. I tried on a few pair of jeans and several dresses but didn’t like the fit of any. When I walked out of the dressing room a man was standing there waiting for a room, he looked right at me but showed no indication of anything out of the ordinary. There were quite a few people shopping and the few encounters I had were positive, passing smiles mostly and spoken exuse me’s. A lady that worked there smiled at me, said hi, and asked me how I was. I exchanged the pleasantry in my practiced female voice. I think she new, but didn’t care or make any kind of deal of it.
I found a handbag I liked and got in line at a register to buy it. I felt someone standing closely behind me and as my turn to purchase came I turned enough to see that it was the man from the dressing room, there was no indication that he had clocked me, but I’m not sure, he was standing kind of close to me in line, a little creepy whatever the reason. The cashier greeted me and asked if I was on their rewards program, I said yes and told her my phone number. She ever so slightly raised her eyebrow when a mans name came up on her screen but didn’t say anything other than thank you as she handed me my bag. On the way out the door I held it for a man that was coming in, he said thank you and I said you’re welcome. As I walked to my car a couple was just getting out of the car next to mine, they both smiled and nodded and I returned the greeting then got in my car and drove off.
I was absolutely thrilled with the experience and ready to drive straight to a mall to shop in real stores but was out of time so I drove back to the condo. When I walked back to the house I passed three grounds workers who looked at me and waved then went right back to their work. I went in and undressed and removed my makeup and left as the man I have to be instead of the woman I long to be.
I am still buzzing from the experience and excited to do it again now that I know I can!
Although this week hasn’t been quite as big as last week for me, I have had a few cool things happen and yesterday was just plain amazing! First off, on Tuesday my wife took me to get my first pedicure. She has been saying she wants me to go with her for a few years now, and I’ve always said I’d be willing, but it never worked out before. Of course I was ecstatic to go do something so feminine and thought it might be a good way to test the waters a little with my wife. She actually got a manicure while I had my feet worked on. I have gnarly guy toenails and this is something I’ve really wanted to do and it was amazing. When the nail tech told me she was done I said, “Don’t I get some polish?” She told she didn’t know I wanted any but helped me pick out a dark blue color. When I was done I walked into the manicure area and my wife flipped out a little when she saw my polished toes. Asked me what I was doing getting polish, said I should have asked her first, then said no polish next time. Oh well, so much for that little experiment, but at least there will be a next time.
Yesterday an opportunity to get away for a while presented itself so I made the drive to my friend’s condo, and got ready to go shopping. I dressed in my casual shopping outfit of black leggings with my cute floral print top, breast forms in pocket bra, corset, gaff and padded briefs underneath with my mini wedge roman sandals and some jewelry to top it off. I tried a bit different, more minimalist makeup technique and like how my eyes turned out but my lips didn’t pop as much as last time. Then brushed my wig out and headed out the door en femme.
My plan was to visit a Torrid store in a mall. I’d never been to this location, but I’d looked at a mall map and picked the parking area and entrance that would get me to the store the quickest and went early enough that it wasn’t too crowded. I felt so confident and feminine walking in and made my way right to the store. I’m not going to go into a lot of detail about it but I just want to say how amazing it was. The sales girls treated me like a girl and were so helpful with showing me clothing they thought I’d like. I spent well over an hour there trying on clothes in their awesome dressing area. I ended up buying a pair of jeans, and a great pair of stiletto heal shoes that were on clearance. The clearance sale was buy one get two for free so I found two cute skirts and made out of there for less than eighty dollars!
I took several pictures while I was there and one of the girls was nice enough to take some for me too. When I look at the pictures they don’t look as good to me as what I saw in the mirror, and I think I’m a long way from passing, but I honestly feel confident and happy in my femininity and I’ve got no qualms now about stretching out and roaming the whole mall next time. I can’t say enough about Torrid, in my mind they’re the definition of a trans friendly business and any of you plus size girls looking for an accepting and friendly environment to shop en femme, this is it!
Brittney, you go, girl!
It’s the little pushing of the boundaries that makes them move.
Hoping to get my own pedicure soon!
Love Laura
Sofia; I’m sorry your first pedicure didn’t result in the positive support from your wife that you were hoping for. Maybe you can continue to get them on your own, it seemed you enjoyed the experience. It’s wonderful to hear you love shopping at Torrid. When we find an accepting store and it becomes our personal favorite, it adds a special feeling to our fem life. I hope to read more of your shopping adventures, sounds like you are having much fun.
A whole week!
Fabulous story – keep them coming.
Love Laura
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