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  • #394243
    Bee Dee
    Participant
    Registered On: October 13, 2020
    Topics: 3
    Replies: 45
    Has thanked: 128 times
    Been thanked: 159 times

    Hi, I’m new to this site. I am a closeted MTF crossdresser. I joined because I don’t have any support for my dressing and I’m looking for a friendly chat with you ladies for friendship and advice. I’m from the U.K. and have been dressing in lingerie for about 10 years now, in the last 5 years it has become a bigger part of my life and I have only really started to buy other clothes in the last 2-3 years, very slowly and selectively. I love wearing lingerie, garters, stockings, pantyhoe’s, I just do! I have a few dresses, a few skirts & tops but loads of panties and I’m probably addicted to buying them. Luckily I have a good head for money so I do keep my spending sensible. I feel almost completely alone in this. I want to dress more but I can’t. I am married and my wife accepts that I prefer lingerie to men’s underwear but I haven’t told her about the other clothes, I’d love to but I don’t know how. The last time we had a discussion about it, well, it didn’t go good. She said I could wear what I want but to keep it away from her. I feel like I can’t bring up the subject even though I’d love to talk to her about it and share it with her. Only one other knows about me, we only spoke about it twice, years apart.

    That’s it really, there ilare little bits more to tell but not just yet.

Viewing 23 reply threads
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    • #399859
      Robyn Devine
      Participant
      Registered On: October 24, 2020
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 276
      Has thanked: 681 times
      Been thanked: 1058 times

      Take your time to figure out what might best work for you and her.  Maybe its a face-2-face talk or writing her a letter.  Might be a good idea if nerves will cause an awkward conversation.

      However like so many others,  it sounds like Bee Dee has to come out soon.  So you need to treat her and you as a top priority.  How many more years does one think they can hide.

      Understand its about treating yourself and your wants and needs as highest priority,  Im not advocating chaos and strife in your life, I wish you all the best.

      xo- Robyn

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #399832
      Leah
      Participant
      Registered On: June 13, 2018
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 197
      Has thanked: 2532 times
      Been thanked: 601 times

      do yourself a favor and figure out how to tell her. It is not a matter of “if” she finds your clothes…but “when”!  better to be up front, open and honest.  You are still the same person, you just want to explore.   You might be surprised at her reaction.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #399690
      Michelle Newman
      Participant
      Registered On: June 22, 2017
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 2526
      Has thanked: 0 times
      Been thanked: 1826 times

      Welcome Bee Dee!

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #396282
      Bee Dee
      Participant
      Registered On: October 13, 2020
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 45
      Has thanked: 128 times
      Been thanked: 159 times

      Hi Davida, thank you. I’m sure it’s not just you. I’m more of a reader than a typer, so I’m not much of a “chat” person because it takes me far too long to compose these messages and to type them out. We all have busy lives and also it looks like we’re from all around the world. Depending what you have going on in your life it can be hard to keep this sort of thing going.

      Take care.

    • #395411
      Mae
      Participant
      Registered On: January 14, 2019
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 215
      Has thanked: 146 times
      Been thanked: 407 times

      Hi Sweet Pea; I also am a MTF Crossdressing Closet Girl. CDH & TGH are my only contacts to share my Dressing. My wife knows that I Dress, has seen my wardrobe closet. I’ve only been Dressing for a full 2 years. Just this month begin my 3rd. There are elements of sensual to my Dressing but it’s not having sexual relationships it’s more emulating those feminine traits that I admire. Developing my feminine movements and mannerisms are as important to me as styles of outer garments and my underdressing. I must admit I take gobs of pictures but only share a few and keep even less. The Girls here on CDH have been very friendly and accepting. But it’s often been like a string of One Night Stands  – after the initial contact .. there’s no real relationship just a name on the friend list. Of course, it might just be me. I hope you enjoy CDH, I have several Dear Friends in here. I hope you gain that and more. Welcome 💋

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #395398
      Stephanie Bass
      Participant
      Registered On: November 30, 2019
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 819
      Has thanked: 7232 times
      Been thanked: 2462 times

      Hi Bee Dee cute name by the way and nice to meet you and as all here feel for you dear as you work thru your covid/ wife situation not the same but if covid wasent here it would be easy to take these baby steps. Just take your time and you can feel her out as playing out halloween games as maybe going dressed as a girl what does she think just jokeing  or some picture of crossdressers slow and easy things and see how she reacts to these and you will know where to go from there . Mostly take your time and yes baby steps do not rush or push time will tell you whats best  . Same as other girls here if need to talk or just vent on situation i have broad shoulders and two ears to listen please dont hesitate to reach out to one or all here we will help to best of our ability . Again nice to meet you good luck with wife  chat anytime im home or when i get home  .

      Hugs Stephanie Bass

      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #395408
        Bee Dee
        Participant
        Registered On: October 13, 2020
        Topics: 3
        Replies: 45
        Has thanked: 128 times
        Been thanked: 159 times

        Hi Stephanie! Thank you so much, it’s lovely to know the ladies are here to help.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #395320
      Bee Dee
      Participant
      Registered On: October 13, 2020
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 45
      Has thanked: 128 times
      Been thanked: 159 times

      Hi Emily and thank you. It has certainly helped being able to talk to you ladies about dressing without judgement. The advice you girls are giving me is sound. I know deep in my heart that I don’t want to hurt my wife so I won’t be pushing the issue anytime soon. I just wish I had reached out before COVID19 took hold. It’s very isolating and there are restrictions on movement where I live, not possible to meet up with anyone at all for a chat over a coffee. It is great to be able to receive wisdom from people with life experience of dressing.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #395309
      Emily
      Participant
      Registered On: April 30, 2016
      Topics: 16
      Replies: 580
      Has thanked: 3046 times
      Been thanked: 1511 times

      Hello and welcome Bee Dee! The first and most important thing you will learn on this site is that you are NOT alone! Your story sounds so similar to many I have read here, including my own. Take your time with your SO and respect her wishes. Pushing her into situations she is not comfortable in approach ready for will only hinder any possible progress. Some of never get past the don’t as don’t tell stage and others get the opportunity to live full time as a female with their spouse’s blessing. You have to do what’s right for the both of you. Have fun exploring here. Ask questions and continue to share stories.

      Emily

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #395089
      Tabitha Tee
      Participant
      Registered On: July 30, 2020
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 256
      Has thanked: 1080 times
      Been thanked: 830 times

      Hi, Bee Dee and welcome. Your situation is very much like mine (and like a lot of girls here). Feel free to chat anytime.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #394873
      Dee Bouhaire
      Participant
      Registered On: October 10, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 16
      Has thanked: 26 times
      Been thanked: 61 times

      Very wise, there’s plenty of animosity out there, why add to it

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #394871
      Bee Dee
      Participant
      Registered On: October 13, 2020
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 45
      Has thanked: 128 times
      Been thanked: 159 times

      Thank you to all you ladies for your support and kind words, it means a lot to know that there are people I can talk to and ask question about dressing and the experience of crossing/Transition. I don’t want to Transition, I’m happy to stay male but I love the fem side of clothes. It’s a shame people have such shity attitudes to anything and anyone not considered to be “the norm”. My wife is a very lovely intelligent person but I think my dressing fully would be to much for her to cope with the current state of the world and I don’t want to cause her to be any more upset then she has to be. Thanks again for your help and advice.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #394848
      Dee Bouhaire
      Participant
      Registered On: October 10, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 16
      Has thanked: 26 times
      Been thanked: 61 times

      Bee,   hi to you.  Am in the same situation as you. Just lingerie, no dresses etc , hide it until later in the evening when can dress in the lingerie. My wife is not aware and certainly would condemn me if i opened up. No friends are aware except one when i accidently mentioned it over a coffee once when she was offloading to me about her probs. She has been a good help.  Likewise on here i have had lovely support from other girls in advice and empathy. If you would like to chat more with me as we share a common situation i would love to.  Its hard to keep contained and share your feelings…. but do try to take things slowly like baby steps and look forward to the moments like myself where our girl can come out. Chat more if you would like. Warm regards to you xx

      Hi Christina, looks we have more in common. If I opened up it’d destroy our relationship so nice as it’d be, some things are just best kept secret

      Deexx

       

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #394714
      Rei Durden
      Participant
      Registered On: October 11, 2020
      Topics: 14
      Replies: 451
      Has thanked: 2814 times
      Been thanked: 1683 times

      Hi there and welcome!
      All the ladies here in similar situations, my heart goes out to you. I’ve been there and it was a massive internal battle before I came out to my SO. 2+ years later, Rei is still emerging and even though my wife is pretty awesome about my growth, it definitely not always smooth or easy. We’ve been through thick and thin multiple time throughout our nearly 30 years together and Rei has absolutely been a challenge at times, but being honest and brave with yourself is it’s own reward. My opinion and experience is that change and growth are never easy and only honesty will set you free, just my 2 cents worth. I still have a lot of change and growth to make in my own life yet though, so I’m no authority.

      Heres hoping you find some peace and happiness.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #394702
      Dee Bouhaire
      Participant
      Registered On: October 10, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 16
      Has thanked: 26 times
      Been thanked: 61 times

      Only you know what your wife and your relationship will stand so you must accept that if you do the decent and “fess up” you are looking at (at best) a bloody awful row with a long protracted road back to normality and at worst a painful break up where your secret could become known to your family, friends and colleagues.

      For example what are you going to do if you get an ultimatum of its me or your dresses…? Would you be able to accept those terms and would she trust you to keep the bargain.

      Your desire to share how you feel is perfectly natural and this site is full of like minded people. My advice would be to share your thoughts and feelings with a few like minds on here and see if that helps

       

      Good luck, and if I can help, just say

      Dee x

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #394625
      Sarah Du Hessisse
      Participant
      Registered On: September 16, 2020
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 68
      Has thanked: 399 times
      Been thanked: 273 times

      Hi Bee Dee

      I have recently joined CDH and I am completely closeted it is very difficult. I too would

      like to come out, so I have complete empathy with you, however I think  the reply from Dee Bouhaire is absolutely right. I would like fully crossdress everyday but I can’t its frustrating.

      Please keep communicating with CDH community it helps.

      Best Wishes to you.

       

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #394619
      Bee Dee
      Participant
      Registered On: October 13, 2020
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 45
      Has thanked: 128 times
      Been thanked: 159 times

      Hi, Samantha, thank you.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #394618
      Bee Dee
      Participant
      Registered On: October 13, 2020
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 45
      Has thanked: 128 times
      Been thanked: 159 times

      Hi, thank you. I basically think this too but lately I feel a real need to tell her about everything. I hate feeling like I have to hide it. Just the other day my wife opened the wardrobe door where I keep my dresses in front of me and I almost had a panic attack. She didn’t see them as they’re at the side of wardrobe and there’s a lot of stuff in there to hide them. It’s been going around and round in my head “how do I tell her”.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #394585
      Dee Bouhaire
      Participant
      Registered On: October 10, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 16
      Has thanked: 26 times
      Been thanked: 61 times

      Hi,

      I sympathise because we have many similarities. I’m of the opinion that there’s no point risking destroying your relationship or at very least causing huge upset – and basically hurting someone you care about. I just accept its something that I can’t share with mine and keep my Dee side well away from her. If I broached the subject it’d cause nothing but anguish and life’s just too short. Yes secrets are bad but are you harming anyone, no. Are you being unfaithful, no.

      Good luck x

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #394561
      Christina Roberts
      Participant
      Registered On: October 9, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 74
      Has thanked: 235 times
      Been thanked: 295 times

      Bee,   hi to you.  Am in the same situation as you. Just lingerie, no dresses etc , hide it until later in the evening when can dress in the lingerie. My wife is not aware and certainly would condemn me if i opened up. No friends are aware except one when i accidently mentioned it over a coffee once when she was offloading to me about her probs. She has been a good help.  Likewise on here i have had lovely support from other girls in advice and empathy. If you would like to chat more with me as we share a common situation i would love to.  Its hard to keep contained and share your feelings…. but do try to take things slowly like baby steps and look forward to the moments like myself where our girl can come out. Chat more if you would like. Warm regards to you xx

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #394503
      Samantha Roarke
      Ambassador
      Registered On: April 17, 2019
      Topics: 41
      Replies: 985
      Has thanked: 2301 times
      Been thanked: 2032 times

      Hi, hello, and welcome to Crossdresser Heaven! You have just arrived at the best and greatest CD site on the web! CDH has tons of very helpful crossdressing information, tips, and support from real people just like you! We highly encourage new CDH members to ask questions no matter how trivial you think they may be, as we are happy to answer to the best of our ability. We also love a well written profile, this helps everyone to get to know you better as the beautiful woman you are! We hope that you enjoy your stay here at CDH, as we are happy to have you as a part of our wonderful community.

      Thank you, Samantha Roarke

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #394278
      Bee Dee
      Participant
      Registered On: October 13, 2020
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 45
      Has thanked: 128 times
      Been thanked: 159 times

      Hi Stephanie, thank you!

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #394277
      Bee Dee
      Participant
      Registered On: October 13, 2020
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 45
      Has thanked: 128 times
      Been thanked: 159 times

      Hi Alice, thank you!

       

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #394271
      Alice Underwire
      Participant
      Registered On: September 16, 2019
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 2037
      Has thanked: 695 times
      Been thanked: 3712 times

      Hi Bee,

      Welcome to CDH.

      Alice

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #394267
      Stephanie Flowers
      Ambassador
      Registered On: June 26, 2017
      Topics: 25
      Replies: 4365
      Has thanked: 6616 times
      Been thanked: 6846 times

      Bee  Sorry to hear about your wife’s reluctance to your desires to dress but here have many who understand your passion and here to help you in every way. As your dressing is limited at least have us here to enjoy the experience of being who you are in a community that really cares about everyone . Happy to welcome you and enjoy your time with us.

      Stephanie 🌹

      4 users thanked author for this post.
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