- October 9, 2020 at 9:57 am #392328Elly EParticipantRegistered On: October 9, 2020Topics: 1Replies: 1Has thanked: 17 timesBeen thanked: 42 times
Hello! im one very proud mum here who’s 17 year old child has just come to me and said he doesn’t feel like a man, they feels very confused but thinkings they would like to try dressing as a women. They’ve been feeling this way for about a year now. I’m here after advice! I’ve told them how much I love them, how proud I am and how I will support them in whatever direction they wish to try and eventually go.
I’m after some good shops to try and the basics for me to get them.
Total of 35 users thanked author for this post. Here are last 20 listed.
- October 12, 2020 at 9:14 am #393512
- October 9, 2020 at 6:39 pm #392523KHeartParticipantRegistered On: October 1, 2020Topics: 3Replies: 78Has thanked: 195 timesBeen thanked: 385 times
I think that this is so heartwarming to read.
And yes, it was so brave for your child to know and reach out to you about this. At that age I was too conflicted with my emotions to know or make a decision like this and I would very much have been too afraid to have told my parents anyway, but the fact that you are doing everything you can to support and understand and help has just put the biggest smile on my face.
I wish both you and your child soo much love and luck in the future as you discover and go on this journey.
- October 9, 2020 at 4:11 pm #392468
- October 9, 2020 at 2:26 pm #392444Sharon WiltshireParticipantRegistered On: July 27, 2020Topics: 3Replies: 53Has thanked: 634 timesBeen thanked: 305 times
Firstly, Wow, what am amazing supportive parent, I know it must be hard, we worry about our children. Online I would try Amazon, M&S, New Look, Top Shop, Dorothy Perkins, Tu, George. I started with New Look mail order as it is reasonably priced, even though I am probably too old for it, as it’s main market is probably more your son’s age. I would start with underwear, tights, skirts, tops, ballet pumps (although I found New Look ballet pumps a little hard, I prefer Dream Pairs off Amazon), and an everyday pair of jeans. M&S and New Look on the High Street are quite trans /cross dressing friendly, if you fancy going shopping with them on the High Street. But I would let your son lead you with how they feel comfortable, maybe look online at what is available together, and talk about it first, as long as you both feel comfortable with this.
- This reply was modified 1 month ago by Sharon Wiltshire.
- October 9, 2020 at 12:34 pm #392377Laura Jane MooreParticipantRegistered On: July 10, 2020Topics: 3Replies: 82Has thanked: 551 timesBeen thanked: 332 times
Firstly Elly, you should be proud that your son trusted you enough to tell you and secondly the way you are accepting of his wishes and showing the willingness to coach him along the way is just wonderful beyond words. I’ve read all the responses so far and the girls have given you plenty of great advice. This is going to be an exciting time for your son….. and you will be part of it. No mother could ask for more. God Bless you both.
- October 9, 2020 at 12:05 pm #392371LeslieParticipantRegistered On: September 14, 2020Topics: 6Replies: 79Has thanked: 448 timesBeen thanked: 349 times
- October 9, 2020 at 11:53 am #392365sarasue olsonParticipantRegistered On: October 7, 2018Topics: 22Replies: 169Has thanked: 450 timesBeen thanked: 775 times
You are A fantastic mom like my mom was, at fourteen my journey started with my sisters help and and then my mom stepped in by telling me that is was alight to have those feminine feelings and not to be ashamed and enjoy wearing panties and nighties. she bought me my first panties and nightie, she didn’t want me wearing my sisters things. my dad also cross-dressed so there were no problems with my new found fascination. I grew up not having all the guilt and shame feelings so many young men have with wearing things female, and that made my life much better and well adjusted. I became A much better student and later A good father and husband. You can be very proud of the way you have handled your sons coming out and he will love you more than words can express. YOUR A GREAT MOM.
- October 9, 2020 at 11:51 am #392361Mandy WifeParticipantRegistered On: September 12, 2019Topics: 5Replies: 150Has thanked: 66 timesBeen thanked: 539 times
Hi Elly. What a wonderful relationship you must have with your son that he felt he could come to you and you should be proud of yourself as well as your son.
Have you joined the wives & SOs group? I wonder if it may be helpful as well – some of the relationship advice stuff wont apply but I’m sure there would be bits and pieces that would help both you and your son.
- October 9, 2020 at 11:46 am #392360Robin GirlyParticipantRegistered On: March 29, 2020Topics: 0Replies: 118Has thanked: 268 timesBeen thanked: 347 times
- October 9, 2020 at 11:37 am #392359Carolyne ShermanParticipantRegistered On: February 20, 2018Topics: 6Replies: 264Has thanked: 83 timesBeen thanked: 645 times
Elly first off I congratulate you on handling this with love, compassion and understanding. I believe your on the right track by reaching out and most of the ladies on this site can certainly if not tell you what to do what not to as we have made almost all the mistakes you can at some point.
Clothing: A difficulty that you will need to address together is what is appropriate attire and presentation. Most young ladies have their life experience to determine what is appropriate for a 17 year old girl and what isn’t. I would suggest starting with undergarments (as girly as she wants), and womens jeans, women’s tshirts or blouses and flats or mutually acceptable shoes.
Makeup: You can start with light subtle makeup such as just powder, lip gloss and subtle eye makeup. Proper grooming of eyebrows goes a long way.
Skin care: This is something that at a young age may not be appreciated but I would certainly start teaching the differences in how a boy takes care of his skin and body vs a girl.
Deportment: This will be as much of unteaching boy traits as it is teaching girl traits. So many little things such as movement and posture will make a difference in the end. You should both work to ensure this becomes second nature
My final thought is that with all children there should be growth. Most of us had to learn on our own and have dressed or presented in an inappropriate fashion at times due to lack of a “mother” figure. You have the ability to teach and help in that growth and be an awesome mother. As she grows the attire, makeup and presentation can grow as well. Its tough to start in 5” heels when you don’t even know how to walk like a lady in flats.
I wish you both luck and happiness as you go forward. Bless you for your understanding and help.
- October 9, 2020 at 11:29 am #392352Stephanie FlowersAmbassadorRegistered On: June 26, 2017Topics: 25Replies: 4387Has thanked: 6774 timesBeen thanked: 6928 times
Elly welcome….. your a remarkable mum and your son is very fortunate. Just for you joining here shows your love for him and I hope you find peace discovering this unique relationship. Ask your questions to help him and most importantly offering help for you too. When he reaches his/her 18th birthday have her join. In the meanwhile share your time here at Cdh with her where many have begun their journeys and many share their ups and downs in their experiences. The best to the both of yous on this journey ahead..
- October 9, 2020 at 11:15 am #392348Heather HarrisonParticipantRegistered On: August 3, 2020Topics: 10Replies: 117Has thanked: 719 timesBeen thanked: 520 times
Hi and welcome!
I totally agree with the other girls that you are a wonderful mom. That will be so helpful for your son.
Once you have the sizes figured out, eBay is a good source for clothing and shoes.
- October 9, 2020 at 11:15 am #392346Lady MichelleParticipantRegistered On: January 11, 2020Topics: 3Replies: 32Has thanked: 100 timesBeen thanked: 143 times
I shop at JC Penny, they have talls which have longer sleeves and larger shoe sizes also Macy’s. You can usually get good deals on clearance. Torrid has really nice clothes and shoes as well but very pricey unless it on clearance.
What an awesome mom you are, you rate very high like my wife. She always shops with me and we share many outfits. We have such a good time with it.
Have fun, BIG hugs to you
- October 9, 2020 at 11:09 am #392343Elly EParticipantRegistered On: October 9, 2020Topics: 1Replies: 1Has thanked: 17 timesBeen thanked: 42 times
thank you so much. Yes I love a good thrift store myself. My son is so unsure what he wants clothes wise and doesn’t feel comfortable going into shops at the moment. I’ve asked him to look online and send me some links of the things he would like to try. I’ve said I can return whatever he doesn’t want. So he’s asked me to choose a few bits in the colours he likes and a few different lengths so he can try and see what he likes. I think it’s going to take time and I have all the time in the world for both of my children.
- October 9, 2020 at 11:08 am #392342IsabelBParticipantRegistered On: March 18, 2019Topics: 3Replies: 167Has thanked: 437 timesBeen thanked: 468 times
Hi Elly and welcome,
A great reflection on yourself that your son was comfortable enough to be able to tell you – hats off to both of you.
You could do worse than having a look at M&S for clothes – you can buy online, have it delivered and for what you need to return, they have a great returns policy. a good way to figure out sizes, styles and so on.
You may want to consider breast forms – plenty of sources such as Amazon, ebay and also thebreastformstore.co.uk (they’re more expensive there, but, in my experience, worth it).
If I can help any further, feel free to PM me.
The very best to you both,
- October 9, 2020 at 10:35 am #392338AlinaParticipantRegistered On: August 23, 2020Topics: 0Replies: 107Has thanked: 357 timesBeen thanked: 296 times
Welcome, I think you and your son will find this site helpful to his desire. I have been buying panties, bras, camisoles maxi skirts half slips on line. At Torrid I found my bra size, just asked the saleslady that I was a cross dresser and needed by size, she measured me and took me to the Bra section. Panty size just ordered and they fit. I have a supportive GG sister whohelps also. Be brave it is a choice to make, you have made it.
- October 9, 2020 at 10:14 am #392335Heather JamesonParticipantRegistered On: April 1, 2019Topics: 7Replies: 360Has thanked: 563 timesBeen thanked: 1263 times
Well you are one great Mom and he is one lucky kid to have you on his side. So start with the basics, panties, bra and nylons. I live in Canada so I don’t know your stores so sorry can’t help you on that one. Then try the thrift stores they have great deals and I’ve bought things in there with the store tags still on them. Maybe a skirt, dress, a couple of blouses and don’t forget the shoes my fave part of any outfit. You should have a talk with him, figure out his sizes and what kind of look he’s thinking about and take him with you so he can say yes or no, we all have our own taste, right and he can try them on for fit. Just remember blouses and dresses you will have to go a little larger as guys have bigger shoulders than ladies clothes are cut for I’m a 30″ waist but have to bye XL size in blouses and I usually by stuff with padded shoulders, it’s kind of like hiding in plain sight. People see the padding and don’t think I have big shoulders it’s the blouse or dress, the way it’s made. Good luck and I’ll say it again, you are one great Mom.Always glad to help a fellow countryman, I live in Canada but I’m from Newcastle Upon Tyne.
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