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    • #709105
      Anonymous

      Hello,

      I am a F39 and my husband M37 just told me that he likes to wear women’s clothing two days ago. I am feeling very overwhelmed, but appreciate that he had the confidence in me to tell me. He says that he loves me and doesn’t want to be with anyone else and would continue to lead most of his life as a male. Any boundaries are up to me. Where do I go from here? I love my husband very much and can’t imagine leaving him over this. My biggest concern at this point is that in the future he will want to live more of his life as a woman or want to transition. I don’t think that is something I am interested in. The internet has been both helpful and unhelpful at the same time.

      Sorry for the ramble.

    • #709106
      Anonymous
      Lady

      He might not know where he wants to go for sure but there are a lot of guys who have a strong attraction to femine clothes and characteristics with no intention to try to become a woman.
      I suspect that if you are communicating and you can negotiate realistic limits it could actually make your relationship even better.
      I’m glad you are asking here. There’s a lot of diference among CD individuals.
      It seems like you are trying.
      I hope you work something out.

    • #709109
      Kelly Lee
      Duchess - Annual

      Hi Holly
      First off, here at CDH you have lots of people who have a spouse that crossdress, it’s even a special forum for them.
      As you finding out the spectrum if crossdressing is very wide, one who wear panties once a year to go fully dressed all time. Today he is at one spot and yes, it may move but don’t think it can only move in one direction.

      I can of course not tell you where your SO is or will move but I am one crossdresser who never had an interest in transition or in guys and I am not alone. I love my wife and she accept Kelly (way more than I ever hoped) and we do go out together.

      The worst thing you can do is to ask him to completely stop. He may stop for a while but it’s an urge that will come back so then he starts with hiding the stash somewhere, feeling bad about lying to you and so on.

      I think you have to come up with limits as to what is allowed or not and expect that those limits will change over time.

      I hope your relation will grow stronger over time as you explore this new found interest.

      /kelly

      • #709116
        Anonymous

        It is reassuring to hear that from someone in a long term relationship.

        I have not asked him to stop at all. I have told him the last thing I want to do is shame him for living authentically. I appreciate your reply.

    • #709119

      First there is a place here for just wives and significant others if you feel more comfortable talking with those in similar positions.

      Hello Holly I cant help but wonder if that is all your husband wants to wear or do I feel it is good that you are gathering information as to what this all means for you for your husband and for you both as a married couple. I feel honest questions that you have should be asked of your husband panties, lingerie, bra, hosiery, pants, tops, dresses, hair, wigs, makeup, nails, does he fantasize or dream of being a woman or dressing as a woman. Does he want to be a woman, emulate a woman? What experiences did he have as a child? He may or may not know what he desires or wants as it is usually hard to for most here to say anything at first. You should tell him that you are so appreciative of his honesty and trust and ask questions in a loving caring way and encouraging him to tell you the truth. It may take a long time or multiple talks to truly understand for you and himself to see and feel whats going on. If he only wants to wear women’s underwear your right that is not worth ending a marriage over. If he honestly wants to have a sex change and live as woman or live and present as a woman full time most women do not go for that as it is not what they signed up for in a marriage. I honestly feel you will get the best of your husband if he can be his authentic self free from guilt or any shame and really have a honest and trusting intimate relationship and marriage.

      I want you to know who you are reading this response from I am an early fifties type A personality who is a heterosexual crossdresser. I worked in Law Enforcement for 30 years. I am married to my second wife. I am a father, a son, a husband, a brother, a uncle, a cousin a grandfather I am a man who has dealt with the desire to dress like a woman for as long as I can remember. I was really an asshole to a lot of people always angry and rude because I did not like this part of me. In 2017 I moved to personal acceptance and embraced my feminine side and that crossdressing is a part of who I am it has made me a more understanding, compassionate, and understanding person and not an overbearing asshole to family friends and co workers. There are so many different yet similar people here on this site, who ultimately want the best for you your husband and you as a married couple.

      Take all the time you need to get the information you need reading asking questions and interacting with others and have those loving intimate honest questions and discussions with your husband to see how you all this new information fits together for the both of you some couples are all in, some are definitely out and end the relationship, others have a Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, don’t want to see or know but very little, other tolerate with boundaries, some are supportive with boundaries. You have to do whats best for you after you have the conversations and have had time to process it all.

      I wish you and your husband the best and hope you have honest loving conversations.

      you can ask me anything privately and I will answer if that is more comfortable for you.

       

      Hugs April

      • #709120
        Anonymous

        I will definitely check that forum out. Us Rookies are always messy in the beginning 😉

        Thank you so much for your feedback. This helps me be supportive and to help process the questions that I have!

    • #709121

      I am probably not the one to be giving advice here, but I just have some thoughts.  You say that your husband loves you, and you love him.  Even though he has shared his secret with you, you have shown your love for him by continuing to be with him.  He is the exact same person that you loved before he told you about crossdressing.  That should be the controlling thought as you both try to figure this out.  I hope that I have helped.

      • #709123
        Anonymous

        As I am processing this that is is becoming more clear! ❤️

    • #709122

      Hi, I have been crossdressing since I was a child. I have no urge to become a fulltime female. I am a heterosexual and fully secure in my sexuality. I told my wife, she told me she felt betrayed as I had been living a double life. For her it was as bad as if I had been having an affaire. We have worked on our relationship and I have had to win her trust again. I could never stop crossdressing and I think that applies to all of us here. The 21st century seems to have brought with it a better air of acceptance, and has given a better climate to come ‘out’ without feeling the ‘shame’ that we had to endure in the 70’s and 80’s. I can honestly say that shame I felt is one of the biggest traumas in my life. I am luckily rid of that now. I can’t speak for your husband but he trusted you enough to be open and thats worth a lot, on the other hand that shouldn’t mean that you have to accept everything. You married a man and thats what it said on the package. You have to set the boundaries that make you comfortable in your relationship. We would all like our wives/so/partners to unconditionally accept our ‘thang’ but thats not realistic. My wife brought tears to my eyes by booking me an afternoon at the beautician, it was conformation of acceptance and on the other hand we will never go shopping for lingerie together, which is ok. I really wish you both love and success on your journey together. It may seem strange and complicated but time will define how things turn out so dont rush to find solutions.

      • #709126
        Anonymous

        Oh Helene thank you so much for your supportive feedback. The night he showed me his make up in a zip loc bag, I gave him one of my spare make up bags.
        I agree, and think it is a good reminder that I don’t need to have this figured all out right away.

    • #709124
      Anonymous

      Hi Holly (great name, by the way! 😉 )

      Thanks for sharing your concerns with us. As you’re already read, there is a forum on CDH specifically for wives and SOs, which is probably a great place to start. As crossdressers, we can tell you a lot of things, but each and every relationship is different, so there is not a set answer that applies to everyone. The best thing I can suggest is ongoing, open and honest communication between the two of you. That one thing will do more than a lot of other things might.

      The truth is, as crossdressers, we really don’t know why we’re this way or why we have these needs. Trust me, I’ve been this way from my youngest days, way before I even knew what male and female was, and many of my sisters here on CDH probably feel the same way. The difficulty that all of us have faced is keeping it hidden from the ones we love the most, our wives. And also just having to keep it hidden from the world, because sadly, crossdressing, and especially MTF crossdressing isn’t something that is accepted, even in today’s more open and liberal environment. So the fact that your husband confided in you is huge. Try not to be judgmental and try to listen, those are two things I can suggest. But he also has to do the same with you when you talk to him. And be honest to him about your fears and concerns, as he needs to know. We (crossdressers) tend to get very fixated on our own needs and often forget the needs of others, which is why that open and honest communication is critical.

      Also, please know you’re not alone, there are many, many women in your shoes who have gone through this and are going through it and are willing to talk with you, share their stories, provide support. Take advantage of that. And there’s many of us here as well who are there for both you and your husband, if you’d like to take advantage of that as a resource.

      Good luck. I know this is confusing, difficult, and probably scary for you. If you’d like to speak more, just let me know.

      Hugs,

      Holly

      • #709129
        Anonymous

        Beautiful name! I just appreciate every person that has taken the time to respond to me.

    • #709130

      It sounds like he just enjoys woman’s clothes! Thats not a problem at all. It is just clothes!  Clothes don’t have gender, rather gender assigned to them. I see a lot of young women completely dressed in “male clothes” at the malls and other places. Also a lot of women sleep with male boxers on, leading to the invention of women’s sleep shorts. When a women wears mens clothes thats considered sexy but if a male wants to do that, thats a big deal? Let him dress at the home and see where it goes from there! More males want to be clean shaven and feel sexy but are afraid of what society will say. But thats changing too. When he dresses up, he more than likely feels more comfortable and even more sexy in them. That can lead to more confidence in life and much better sex life with you if you get my drift!

      However you and him should make sure that all he wants is to wear is women’s clothes. That he doesn’t have gender dysphoria.  If he is even a little unsure, then he should talk to a therapist and you will be involved in that. It never hurts to talk to the pros about what is on your mind. That means both of you as you have a right to your feelings. Then you will get the whole picture of this. Also if he wants more that may not change how you feel about him, but rather strengthen and cement your relationship.

      If he truly just wants to crossdress (I hate that word) I strongly believe that there is nothing wrong with that. Remember this is America and we are supposed to be free to express ourselves without discrimination!  I feel you should first talk with him and find out what he wants to wear and where he wants to wear them. Then take it from there! Wearing panties under his male clothes is nothing!

      I am similar to that! I wear female clothes but don’t want to pass as a female or be a female at all. I wear female clothes out but do not wear wigs or makeup at all. However I want real breasts and hopefully when I’m healthy I can start to get them. I’m gender fluid and since the first time I noticed breasts, I have always wanted them. Something you might ask him.  I have been married 33 years now and my wife is still with me!

      I hope this helps you and feel free to ask me anything more if you have questions! I will try to answer them and help you with this. Good luck

       

       

    • #709136
      Anonymous

      a person can be a guy even if he is into wearing dresses 👗. It’s a garment that covers the body and very comfortable to wear. In other countries they wear dresses and skirts they just call them by a different name to say it’s for men. I have known people that say they are a guy who likes to wear dresses 👗. People like that are only interested in wearing dresses 👗. I am full time cd/tg and that’s who I am. You can get with the girls 👧 on the site and get a better understanding I welcome you in

    • #709145
      Fiona Black
      Baroness - Annual

      Holly,

      You took a very big step in coming here and I commend you for doing so. That tells me you are looking to make this work and value your relationship. It is very possible that he told you about this because he loves you and did not want to sneak around behind your back. It is also possible that he felt your relationship was strong enough to weather this new wrinkle. One of the best things you can do is keep the lines of communication completely open and set boundaries that are comfortable for both of you. Also try to remember that the majority of crossdressers are not gay and have absolutely no desire to take hormones or transition fully.

      I wish you both the best.

      Fiona

      • #709151
        Anonymous

        Thank you Fiona. The reassurance each of you has given me, makes me so hopeful to move forward.

      • #709175

        Fiona: Such a great reply. I do so hope they can work out a compromise. Best Marlene.

    • #709157

      Hi Holly. First of all i commend you for coming to us and trying to understand whats happening. I am now going to try and answer this as truthfully and honestly as i can, looking at it from both sides.

      Firstly, your side Holly. It is perfectly understandable to be confused and even angry because in your eyes, you married a Man. When i told my Wife for the first time she said afterwards that she felt ‘duped’ meaning that she married a man and not a Woman. You must go with what you are comfortable with and usually a compromise is usually the answer as long as you are happy for him to Dress. The only issues i can see is if it becomes more and more frequent. You must lay the boundries down before, not afterwards. Tell him how you feel.

      His side? This is most likely to have been going on for a while, for instance, i started when i was around 7 years old, why? i have no idea even to this day. At this stage, it depends how far he wants to take it. Does he just want to be a casual dresser every blue moon, or Dress frequently? The truth is, you dont know and neither will he at this stage. It is highly likely he has tried your clothing on too but to be honest, most Men have tried their partners clothing on at some time in their lives but this does not automatically make them a crossdresser.

      It is good that he has told you and from his point of view, that takes an enormous amount of courage to say such a thing as so much can be lost. My advice is to sit down with him, talk as Adults, try to find out why he feels this way and hopefully arrive at a compromise that suits both of you without any upset.

      Good luck Holly and feel free to message me anytime if you need to.

      Fiona x

    • #709158
      Stephanie Flowers
      Ambassador

      Holly

      Nice meeting you. Your a very special spouse and your partner is so fortunate. This is certainly the place you’ll find many of the answers you are seeking. Totally understandable in your reaction, you may be experiencing feelings of betrayal, being lied to, a breech of trust or just simple thoughts of “are you kidding , seriously ” And a dynamics of your relationship have been brought into question. The ‘Is he gay?’ Question is a common one, or you feeling he is somehow less of a man for wanting to cross dress.

      Been here a long time, most of us are just normal heterosexual men who love to experience what women can but normally prohibited by societal pressures about gender steeeotypes. We just want to try what you can freely experience if you want, make up, a far more interesting range of clothing and accessories, wonderful fabrics and colours. Maybe we want to try something different from the normally ‘drab’ options we have in menswear, shoes etc.

      He has probably kept it a secret as he is terrified he would lose you if you found out. Had you known when you were dating would it have adversely affected your opinion of him. And the longer the secret is carried on the harder it is to admit it. He was maybe also afraid you would question his sexuality, think of him as less of a man, something which hurts. For me, and many others, perhaps your husband included it is only looking different for a bit, to stand out, enjoy experiencing new things. I think I look fab when dressed, others may disagree but it’s good for my soul. Perhaps like a hobby or addiction, not trying to play down the angst you are feeling but there are worse addictions to have.

      I hope you can keep the lines of communication open, come to terms with it, and come to some kind of compromise. In relationships we all have to compromise to some extent.

      I saw the shock  from  my wife as for us we were married for many years and only a short while ago that I opened up to her . The biggest concern was the mistrust I caused.   Seeing her and the hurt  that it caused was hard.  We had many talks and through this agreements and guidelines were set and together were slowly working it  out. But Cdh and it’s resources helped my wife and myself understand more about our individual troubles. I learned more about myself and she with help from a wonderful group we have here exclusive for my wife where many GG gals like yourself could receive the help and support to get the answers your wanted to know. This group – private  ( wives and significant others)

      https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/groups/wives-and-significant-others/

       

      For you special ladies where Cders are not allowed. Meet with them and get the support you need. Look into other forms written by others who talk about their experiences, their questions they may ask with many offering help and advice so everyone can understand better on so many confusing topic . Many face this troubling ordeal but be assured you have support and help from everyone here . Relax, get comfortable and enjoy being part of this wonderful community that really does care for all that passes through our doors. The best to you both as  you venture through these new paths together . Very happy meeting you and welcome.

      Stephanie 🌹

       

      • #709161

        Hi Stephanie, sorry i should have mentioned the SO section but completely forgot!!

        Fiona xx

      • #709171
        Anonymous

        Such kind words. I have found the group and am just awaiting my approval!

    • #709160

      Hi Holly,

      I am so happy that you have joined us here.  This is the best most suportive site for crossdressers and their spouses.

      Ask any question here and you will get honest answers from people who have been through the same situation.

      Paula

    • #709179

      Hi Holly,

      Welcome to CDH.  The other posts have added some great points like the forum just for wives and significant others.  Keep the communication going with your husband.  He is a lucky guy.  And setting limits is a practical step.

      Alice

    • #709218

      Clothing is incidental. Loving the other person is what is real. Being a crossdresser usually means that he will be more understanding of your feelings and the obstacles you face. For instance, I doubt he will get angry if it takes you a half hour to get ready to go out because it takes him an hour to dress as a woman.

      Sincerely,

      Dana Daring

    • #709219

      Baby steps my dear baby steps. Let him know that you love him and let him open up to you on his terms, that being said if you hqve questions be kind and loving thrn you ask its a big step, he feels very exposed right now.
      Love is the sweetie and if you are here you must love him

    • #709246
      Mia Mor’e
      Baroness

      There are many straight men who crossdress. They can be loving, faithful husbands, fathers, Grampas, uncles, whatever. Me personally, I just love to crossdress, and I am SO lucky to have a wife who is supportive and even helps me dress the right way, classy and color coordinated.
      If your husband is like me, then he just loves to wear a different style of clothes, different gender of clothes(is that even a thing?), of clothing, when he has a little private time.
      Small price to pay for a little happiness 😊

    • #709262
      Anonymous

      Hi Holly and thanks for sharing your experience. I recently told my wife that I crossdress. I understand it is a lot to take in and process. There is nothing wrong with taking time to process this and thinking about your boundaries.  All the feelings you are having are valid. Once your comfortable then you two can have a conversation about your concerns and going forward. My wife shared similar concerns you are facing. She feared that eventually I will want to transition and she doesn’t think that is something for her. Now a year before I told her I cd I came out as bi. I didn’t want to be with anyone but her however. So now she had feelings of “what’s next?” Which I completely understood. I tried to give her reassurance that I don’t want to transition, I’m a cd I’m not Trans. However that is a very hard thing to do once you tell your partner you crossdress. The only thing you can do is keep communicating. My wife and I have discovered that the more involved she is in my dressing the more she understands and gets more comfortable with it. The more she understands the reasons I do this the more she sees that I’m not Trans and don’t want to transition. I also make sure to take the time to show her that I am still the man she fell in love with on a regular basis. It may take time for you both to figure it all out. If your husband is like me, it was hard to understand and communicate the feelings I was having. I have found that her acceptance and support has really solidified are bond and i feel even more loyal to her then ever before. I really hope you both find happiness going forward. Feel free to message me any time with any questions or concerns.

      Alex.

    • #709270
      Anonymous

      Your husband told you what he was interested in and what he would and would not do. Try to relax and take him at his word.

      The questions you ask are understandable. Every woman asks these questions of herself when she first learns that her partner enjoys wearing women’s clothing. Its normal and OK.

      Regarding on-line information, the algorithms used by Google, Facebook and twitter, among others, are all designed to MAXIMIZE hits. So, the information generated by a search is biased strongly towards the sensational and controversial. The term click bait refers to the practice of luring people to sites by catching their attention, usually by exploiting their basic fears or sex. So what you see about cross dressing on line will automatically be biased towards the frightening or sensational.

      There are a few things to remember. Cross dressing is fairly commonplace. The vast majority of cross dressers are heterosexual males who enjoy dressing, but do no want to transition. A very much smaller percentage of humans are transgender individuals who might consider transition at some point.

    • #709284
      J J
      Lady

      Your husband has taken a very difficult step by being open and honest about is desire to dress. While it can be hard to process it also means he trusts you enough to do what is right for you both. He has said you can set limits, etc, which is where my wife and I are, and she has not set any because she trust me to be open and honest with her.

      My advise is to simply continue the conversation and be open and honest with your feelings, needs and questions. As pointed out many times the vast majority of crossdressing men are normal heterosexual males who just happen to enjoy dressing for a variety of reasons. Will his dressing progress? Very possibly, but not likely in negative ways. I and just a single data point, but I started wearing panties forty years ago, progressed to bras and other lingerie and now partially or  fully dress on occasion. After all these years I still have no desire to dress full time, or even a significant amount of time, nor transition, come out in public, et cetera. So yes it is totally possible what he says is true. Though my wife has never set “limits” I know her well enough to know she would not want out at family functions and such, nor do I want to be.

      Keep talk, and stay in love. After nearly forty years it has worked for us.  I get to indulge my hobby and my wife loves me for it. Her hobby is gardening, and I love her for it, the two are not really that different.

       

      Good luck and thanks for posting her. I hope we can help.

    • #709313

      Let him dress and wear what he wants. That will make him very happy. Go from there.

    • #709489
      Rhonda Lee
      Baroness - Annual

      All great points. To give you perspective I hope you will find helpful, I’ll share  some information based on interviews I have conducted with about 200 crossdressers who have opened up to the point of seeking group support. From this research, a review of other surveys which have generated nearly identical results, and more,  I will add:

      1. Ask your husband what you want to know. He has revealed something many husbands are afraid to reveal and may take take to their grave unspoken. So the communication he opened up says a huge amount. Most importantly, it invites you to ask directly what you want to know. He evidently wants to share that information with you, valuing the marriage to the point of taking personal risk of rejection.

      2. 93% of the crossdressers I have interviewed say their wives know they crossdress.  That, to me, is huge… in spite of the embarrassment, crossdressers seldom want to live in stealth. They may prolong sharing their deepest secrets because they feel their wife could not accept it and/or because they believe they can grow, will, or pray themselves out of a need to express their feminine side, but that almost never happens.

      3. The vast majority of crossdressers believe their gender and their sex align. They don’t think they are women. They just have a compelling desire to wear feminine attire. Gender identity and gender presentation are two different things. One does not imply the other.

      4. 79% of crossdressers are or have been married. My observation is that their marriages are longer than the average marriage.

      5. 77% of crossdressers have children. These tend to be family men, well-regarded by their families, their communities, and their co-workers.

      6. 67% of wives accept or support the crossdressing behavior, but most couples do so with boundaries that vary widely by couple. Boundaries are established by communication. I am hard-pressed to recall any situation where a husband did not accept a wife’s boundaries. That implies that most men are extremely supportive of their wives’ needs, to the extent of suppressing their own needs to the extent necessary to maintain a loving marriage. The happiest marriages I know are those where the wife is not just tolerant but supportive enough to share in an experience which can be enjoyable for both in many ways.

      7. There is no positive correlation between crossdressing and being gay. Statistics I have developed and seen show that crossdressers are somewhat LESS less likely to be gay than those who don’t crossdress. The vast majority of crossdressers are heterosexual.

      8. While it is hard to know the true percentage of crossdressers in the population of adult men, because it is something that is concealed in many situations, but I personally believe it to exceed 10%. Some say far more.

      9. There is no “cure” for crossdressing. It is not considered to be gender dysphoria, nor is it considered abnormal behavior.

      A resource I believe helps illustrate differences between biological sex, gender identity, gender expression and sexual (and romantic) attraction is “itspronouncedmetrosexual.com”

      No one trait implies any other. This is very important to understand when drawing conclusions. It contradicts falsely drawn conclusions that a biological male has a male gender identity, male gender expression, and is romantically and sexually attracted to a female. All of these items are independent variables; each can exist in different degrees.

       

      • #709532
        Anonymous

        What a thorough and accurate response the the original thread.   You said everything I would have, had I been more ambitious!

    • #709533
      Anonymous

      Hi Holly and welcome to CDH.  There are so many supportive people here.

      I can only imagine how overwhelmed you must feel right now.  What your husband shared with you is huge.  I am sorry you are having to deal with this as this was not something one expects when choosing a partner in life.  And it is OK to feel this way.

      It sounds like you two have a strong commitment to each other, or else he would not have shared this with you.  That is something to celebrate for sure.  And the fact that you are seeking out truthful, factual information and advice is amazing on your part.  That is a huge step and I am in awe of you and your willingness to try.  Your husband is lucky to have such a loving and committed person as his partner in life.

      I cannot really give any more advice than what has already been said here.  Many of us struggle with this issue too.  Many of us have been struggling with this issue for years and it is unfair to expect our spouses to process this huge “bombshell” overnight.  This is a journey.  Maybe not one you ever expected to take, but one you are on now.  I hope you continue to take this journey together.  I wish only happiness for you and your husband and if I can help in any way, please feel free to message me.

      Hugs… Dana❤️

       

    • #709548

      Hi, I am impressed with your effort to understand and be supportive of your husband.  You must love him very much.  Most marriages that were strong before this disclosure seem to survive and work through this difficult time to find an arrangement that works for them.

      I don’t know your husband but I do know that many of the CD men that I know are very caring and loyal husbands that really love their wives and want them to be happy.  They appreciate that their wives are willing to accept them (to some degree or another) even though they can’t understand why their husband wants or needs to dress like a women.  I am guessing that the level of support that you have already shown has strengthened his love for you and he will gladly do his best to adhere to any boundaries you establish together.  Over time, these naturally will change.  Some wives start out being very supportive and the happy husband gets lost in the pink fog and then the wife has had enough and clamps down hard.    I suggest setting limits at first that you are fairly confident you could live with and then over time you can expand those boundaries together as you get more comfortable with this part of your husband that he loved you enough to share with you.

      You are a very loving and special person and your husband is a lucky man to have a wife like you.  I suspect he knows this and will do everything he can to support your marriage.  Having said that, you may ask then why doesn’t he just stop dressing up?  Well that is the one thing he can’t do and like most of us, he has probably tried more than once.

      Based on what you have shared with us, I’m confident you will work this out and have a long and loving marriage together.

      Hugs,

      Michelle

    • #710469
      Ang
      Baroness

      Welcome to our corner of the internet world! I am another SO (significant other) or GG (genetic girl). I’m so glad you found this great group of people 🙂

      First…the internet can be great and helpful but also scary. Please remember that your relationship is defined by the 2 people in it – that has helped me immensely!

      I’m glad that your partner told you. That truly says a lot about your relationship. I will tell you that I have had ups and downs (like all relationships, not just CD’ing ones) with my partner. I have found having the friends here in both the SO group and the main groups has been helpful. Sometimes I just need to feel not alone or ask a question to a group who gets me and here are my people! I hope you find the same safe space we have. Please don’t hesitate to reach out anytime to me.

      Where to go from here….that is up to you. I would encourage you to take it one day at a time. I would also say open communication is so vital. Maintain that and you guys will figure the rest out.

      Hugs, Badgergal

    • #710608
      Anonymous
      Lady

      Looks like she bailed. Heres hoping she and her husband can work things out and maybe she and he will come back. Our lifestyle is so hard on us and our mates but its a force all its own and can’t be ignored for long. Good luck and best wishes to them.

    • #710611
      Nicole125
      Lady

      The replies to your post reflect the the many emotions we all share on acceptance and rejection. They are thoughtful, caring and full of sincere advice. As a mature, happily married CD I certainly wish you good luck. If you choose to remain together open conversation and limits you both agree to are essential to future love, growth and the development of your relationship. Good luck in your journey.

    • #710615

      hello, it’s nice that he told you about his cross dressing, it’s hard to tell someone that he likes to dress in female cloths, i cross dress and have my own dresses, skirts, nylons, panties, bra, makeup, earrings, necklace, heels, perfume and yes even pads.  my wife found out years ago and was not to thrilled about it so i did not dress up when she was around plus we have a 24 year old son still at home. so its hard for me to dress up. i do when our son is at work. my wife is getting better at me dressed up. i under dress every day i can. the clothing feels so much more comfortable to wear and looks and feels great.  do’t be to mad or afraid he might want to change sex for that would be out of the question for our age. we just like to show our feminine side. real woman cross dress every day. they wear jeans and shirt and sneakers, that is not feminine looking and short hair style, nothing wrong with short hair but woman look pretty with long hair and a dress or skirt and nylons, makeup,  hope you will get better at him on dressing up.don’t believe every thing you read on the internet some are good posts and some are just down wrong

    • #710644

      Hi.  I am a cross dresser who has come out to his wife.  She was very shocked at first, but over time she has become more relaxed when she realised that it was only the dressing that interested me.

      Men cross dress for all sorts of reasons, the principle one in my life being to de-stress and feel comfortable.

      Coming out to you will be a great stress lifted from him and displays that he loves you and has true confidence in you.  Yes, your emotions will be all over the place at this time, but please give yourself and him time to adjust to this new situation and permit time to openly discuss this new situation.

    • #710680
      Leah
      Baroness

      Best thing to do is have a lot of open and honest communications and take things slowly.  testing limits along the way.  He is still trying to figure out what the dressing means to him, where it may go and how often and to what extent he dresses.

      I will say, he most likely wishes for you to be a huge part of this from communications, discussions, dressing, exploring toeghter, makeup, lingerie, clothes.  He is still the same person, just has a softer side that you not aware of.  Most Cd’s do not transition, now that he has shared this with you. He will want to explore dressing up to various extents.  he will look to you for advice and suggestions and to help with those things that were taught you as a young girl.

      The internet can be god..but also bad as they sometimes show far to much that cd’s are gay, in fact 80% are straight.  Good luck on your journey together.  Hope you make the most of your new Girl friend

       

      Leah

       

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