• Creator
    Topic
  • #375503
    Monica
    Participant
    Registered On: March 29, 2017
    Topics: 3
    Replies: 5
    Has thanked: 22 times
    Been thanked: 33 times

    Hello everyone, I’m really glad I found this place a long time ago, but have put it to side, so as I can be something I have being believing in…
    After a harsh relationship with my ex-fiance I really was devastated, but couple of months prior, something in me happened while I was shaving my privates, I stopped for a couple of seconds, and It kinda felt good to have such a smooth skin…I was fantasizing a long time before, and as always, did not give too much thought of it, I really wanted to shave my legs, and try some woman clothes…
    I did buy myself some panties and I feel amazing, I shaved my legs up to the point where my regular boxers can hide the fact that I was shaving my legs, but the desire is burning now… I wanna feel like a woman, I wanna dress as one, act as one be one… I honestly thought a lot about it, and I really now want to try it
    But the real problem is, my parents, and most of the town, is really, and I mean really conservative…
    I think they would disown me if I ever told them something like that… also I dont have much support of that transitioning I want to do now, I really want to be a woman, I want to put make up on, wanna have clothes of my own
    I even started training for a better bottom, and an hourglass shape body
    If nothing, I am creating a new topic so as I can get support at least trough people who will understand me and give me some support
    Again thank you so much, I love this forum

    • This topic was modified 1 month ago by Monica.
Viewing 6 reply threads
  • Author
    Replies
    • #381558
      Stephanie Bass
      Participant
      Registered On: November 30, 2019
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 699
      Has thanked: 5787 times
      Been thanked: 2037 times

      Hi Monica nice to meet you and know what you mean about conservitive . as a small community i live in every one knows everybody and there vehicles they drive so going out is not an option as also family as daughter and grandkids live within 7 miles of us  our town is 60 miles away same there everyone know everyone even big town 6 hours away we run into people from here every trip we have to go so good luck girlfriend and do a trip away from home to be a girl for a day and have fun.

      Hugs Stephanie Bass

    • #381548
      Paula F
      Participant
      Registered On: August 7, 2019
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 518
      Has thanked: 882 times
      Been thanked: 1763 times

      Monica, I can tell you that coming out as you, and the other girls here, in a smallish conservative town, can be done.  The town I live in, and grew up in, is almost as redneck, oilfield, cattle raising conservative as you can possibly find.  I have been dressing since the age of 5 and never been interested in GG’s, so most everyone in school when I grew up knew I was gay, but not about being femme.  My first lover was transferred out of the country by his employer just before I graduated high school, and since I really had nothing holding me here, I moved the day after I got my diploma to the largest town in the area, about 150,000 people back then.  I lived there for almost 10 years until my mom passed away, and since I wasn’t getting much of anywhere there, I moved back to live in my mother’s house.

      My hometown is currently at 17,800 or so people as of the last census, 2010.  When I came back, I promised myself I would no longer deny who I was or how I lived my life. Once my sister discovered her secret sister, I stepped out openly as femme.  It was not, and sometimes still is not, the easiest path to take in a small Texas town.  I had to take my stand on so many things and not budge or dodge from anything that came or was thrown my way.  Eventually, for the soreheads that couldn’t handle what they saw and met, the ‘new’ finally wore off and life calmed for me a great deal after that, to actual acceptance by the majority of the people I live and interact with now.

      I still do not have a lot of friends who live in part of our lifestyle here in town.  I still go back to the city and see old friends there, and get out and party and have a good time.  There are many places there I can go and be. The town I live in now is my refuge.  The city has gone through phases of anti-gay, anti-CD, anti LGBTQ+, and just about anything that is not normal.  But it has also become a lot more accepting also.

      Now, in this new century, it is much easier for you younger girls to come out and find acceptance.  You will always meet a few soreheads who are against you, even if you were to save their lives or something, but there is more and more room for you to grow.  Taking a stand in your conservative home will take a lot of fortitude and perseverance, but if you stand your ground and don’t hide from yourself or other’s, you WILL make it.  People you know now will desert you, but some will stay by your side, relatives, friends and casual acquaintances will come and go, and many new people will join you that you never expect or knew before.

      I am not going to tell you it will be easy, because it won’t.  Your heart will break at who you find will desert you.  At the same time, you will gain friends and supporters from directions you never suspected they would come from.  Take a deep breath, steel yourself for what is coming, but do not shut yourself off.  You have 23,000 or so girlfriends here already to help you get started.  Take your time, don’t rush, consider your options, and above all, live YOUR LIFE as YOU want it to be.  DO NOT surrender.

      My heart goes out to you and what you are considering, and to all of you girls that have barely started your journeys.  All of us older babes (that’s what we really are is babes) have been where you are.  Come to us with your questions and problems, ask us about anything you need to.  Be warned, some of us don’t have all the filters turned on, so some answers may really surprise you sometimes.

      Good luck Monica!!

      PaulaF

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #375808
      Monica
      Participant
      Registered On: March 29, 2017
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 5
      Has thanked: 22 times
      Been thanked: 33 times

      Wow, Laura, thank you this is something different to read now, and as I am reading some of it, already was an Idea in my head, to go somewhere where there are gay friendly places, I know that I’m attracted to both male and female… Yet somehow there is a burning desire for me to be woman, if only once, then be it once
      But I want to try it, not for one day, but to be a woman for a period, to see if that is really me, or if that is just something in my sexual desires, even tho I have to say for now I don’t think it’s an sexual desire, rather yet something I really need to experience, so that is why I finally choose to seek advice here, to listen to someone who has already undergo some of this process, to give me some directions or anything of that type so that I can try to focus on something, that would give me some straight answers
      For now I have to be really honest, I really love the idea of me being the more fragile human version, no offence to anyone, but I really have a burning desire to be loved like a woman, and be a woman, again maybe for a longer period, or full transition, this is yet quiet unsure for me
      Also being a bit scared, and in an unfriendly town is hard on my decision making, also I don’t want to  be rash, and just rush into something, and maybe do something really stupid in the process…
      I already explained how when I was younger (now 25, and I’m talking at an age of 14-15) of how I wanted to be the woman, and somehow always felt a bit more emotional, fragile, easy to hurt, had many girl-friends yet little girlfriends (as in an relationship)
      I even sometimes wanted to say how I wanted to dress up, and do a full makeup, wear feminine stuff etc. but never did, until this point that I decided that I want to do it, now for real
      Thank you so much for your reply, and I’m sorry for a big read, and if you read it all the way down, I have to say I love you for this, and thank you so much for everything and anything you can do for me in this confusing time of mine

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #375761
      Laura Lovett
      Participant
      Registered On: March 26, 2020
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 316
      Has thanked: 855 times
      Been thanked: 1320 times

      Hi honey, and welcome to the right place!

      In your situation, I would without hesitation book somewhere to stay overnight at a location that you know to be accepting, e.g. a hotel next to or that incorporates a gay bar.

      I am not gay myself, and currently feel like that is never likely to be the case. The type of people who patronize gay bars in MY experience (and I have been to several, albeit all in an incredibly accepting part of an incredibly accepting city) are very welcoming to everyone.

      It’s not a case of when in Rome, I have been made to feel special as the person I am, and have made a number of very special friends as a result.

      I have no idea how possible that is for you, but it’s the safest way to explore yourself and find some answers to the burning question “Ok, so who or what am I?” that most CDs seem to struggle with.

      I know I still do – that’s why I cite “answers”, as there are many. We don’t fit into pigeon holes, so, once you’re good with that concept, you can begin to construct granular ideas, e.g. gay, not gay, female inside, need to be female outside – all the individual things that identify you to yourself.

      It takes a great deal of patient picking and listening to yourself, maybe some experimentation – and a sense of cliff jumping – being sensibly concerned about the potential outcomes before you jump, but going for it 100% when you do, and taking the rush full on.

      I babble a lot – I hope these concepts are useful, but one size fits practically only one person, so choose your paths and enjoy.

      Love Laura

      7 users thanked author for this post.
    • #375533
      Heather Harrison
      Participant
      Registered On: August 3, 2020
      Topics: 8
      Replies: 76
      Has thanked: 453 times
      Been thanked: 321 times

      I hear you sister. I live in a very conservative, rural area. You have come to the right place for support.

      Welcome to our community!

       

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #375513
      Monica
      Participant
      Registered On: March 29, 2017
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 5
      Has thanked: 22 times
      Been thanked: 33 times

      Thank you Kelly, I also just started, and yet I have such a desire to do it, yet I fear doing it…if that makes any sense…I wish there would be more trans women around my town so that I could have some support, and help about everything
      This is why I came here to this forum, as to find as much comfort and advice as I can

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #375510
      Kelly Wayne
      Participant
      Registered On: April 8, 2020
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 43
      Has thanked: 765 times
      Been thanked: 179 times

      Monica, I know your feelings hun. I struggled for many, many years with who I am. I did some serious soul searching a little while back and quit fighting and admitted to myself that I’m transgender. Everyone has different dynamics to their lives, and there’s no one size fits all approach to this dilemma. I’m at the beginning stages of the transition journey, and couldn’t be more at peace with who I am. My sister, seek some counseling for this, it will open your eyes one way or the other.

      Peace and hugs,

      Kelly

      2 users thanked author for this post.
Viewing 6 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Crossdresser Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account

If you don't see the captcha above please disable ad and tracking blockers and reload the page.