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Well today my wife brought up the panties and wanted to know more. It was very awkward and I really didn’t want to discuss it but we were driving alone in a car and there is no way to get out of that.
She starts off asking “How long have I been wearing her panties”. She mentions she has noticed other clothes out of place and wanted to know if I had worn her other clothes. WOW what a tough question. I say yes I have worn your clothes but not often and I told her it weirds me out that I would rather wear my own. She asked why do my panties not weird you out but my clothes do? I told her it makes me feel closer to her when she’s not around. (She didn’t buy it) If for any other reason I would wear my own. She then asks about the Ross lady. She heard the lady ask me if I wanted her to help me pick out my outfits. I told her that’s where I go to buy my clothes and she always rings me up. I also told her I was as surprised she came up to me and asked me that. She had never done that and I was totally embarrassed.
Then she goes into are you gay or bi-sexual and I tell no I have never even considered being with a man. She goes on to want to know why dress like a girl then? I told her I had been doing it since I was very little it started with my sister and just never stopped. She was quite after that for a few minutes and I thought we were done talking about it. She then asks how often do I dress, where do I store my clothes, do I have wig/makeup? She just kept going on and I didn’t know what to say. At that point I was very embarrassed and she could tell. She apologized and said this was not her intention she just wanted to know more about what I do and why.
I explained its not easy to talk about. Its been a secret forever and you are the only person I ever discussed this with. She asked if I had gone out and bought any clothes recently or if I still had any of the ones I had bought. I explained I wear them when I can then get rid of them because I never wanted you to find them and think they were another ladies. Then she gets mad that I buy clothes and throw them away because its a waste of money. It got to the point where I asked her ” What else do you want to know I’m tired of talking about it. You found my big secret what else is there to know and why do you care about the clothes I have bought?” She responds ” I don’t care about the clothes you bought or the money you’ve wasted. I just wanted to know why you do this. I think its very strange but I love you and I want you to be happy.” She goes on to say our kids can never find out that it would be to traumatic and she’s not going to explain it to them. Also she said if I buy more clothes don’t waste money and throw them away just put them up so they are out of the way. Then as were ready to pull up to the house she asks “Will I ever get to see you dressed up?” I told her “I don’t know we will have to work towards that, I’m not very comfortable with the conversation nor do I want you to see ma as a woman yet.” She said “Fair enough I’ll leave it alone for NOW!Hi Sammy
wow now that the cat is out it is time to be straight up with your SO, if not it will make things much harder down the track, Your SO sounds like she has had time to process this. It sounds like she really loves you and is willing to work through this, you will both need to set boundaries and please communicate with her, that is what 99% of women need, this sounds very similar to how my wife found out, now we have a fantastic relationship. good luck
XXX Paula
I know the “talk” had to be difficult, but it also sounds like you and your wife have a great relationship and that foundation will be positive as you move forward. It also sounds like she is supportive and trying to understand. Hopefully, this will be a springboard for an even better relationship.
I love the line,” I just want you to be happy.”
Believe on those words. She really does and that’s a huge foundation to build from. My wife same thing. Open yourself up to her at her pace not yours but no matter what if she has questions have an answer or be honest that you are still figuring things out too.
Wish you the best
Sabrina
Wow Sammy………your on the dance floor now! I would suggest your wife co-read CDH with you and that you both book a seesion or two with a cross dresser specialist psychologist ASAP!!
Your wife was tossed into the pool and I think information and knowledge are most needed now. It does seem so is open discussion. I wish you good luck. I your case, I think you may have been influenced by genetics and early upbring influence. Give me a shout if you’d like to know more……….
Regards………
Dame Veronica
Hi Sammy,
I know its hard to talk about with your wife, but you need to talk more.
I know your feeling embarrassed , but think about your wife too.
She needs some reassurances.
She probably feels unattractive or betrayed right now.
You need to let her know you still love her and are still attracted to her.
My wife felt like I had lied to her and our marriage was a lie.
woman are all different but keep talking and love her.
Patty
Sammy
The door has been opened hun,
Take the time, have more tough but honest conversations, its important….for all of you involved.
Sometimes it will be very awkward, answer her questions, even repeatidly then give her time to digest it. You’ve had years trying to figure things out and this is a BIG brand new development for her. She seems willing to try and make it work, don’t shut down or shut her out.
And the truth shall set you free…
Well, my wife just cornered me in my home office and asked why i was buying bras. i had purchased my first bra a couple of days ago and she saw ‘something in the car’ so while i was out she went thru my dresser. She found the new bra and the drawer full of panties. She knew i wore panties when we were first married; in fact she was my Domme and i was he sissy submissive. She wanted to know why i was buying bras no. So i explained that three years ago i had bras, a corset, a pencil skirt, garters and hose even makeup but had decided to stop.
obviously my resolve to stop failed and i was once again crossdressing. Further i explained i wanted to get my ears pierced, my eyebrows done and a makeup session. She was put back some. She asked if this was why i left the Church and i said it played a role but was not a primary cause. She asked if i was using sex toy and i told her no. i tried to explain about Bobbie, my femme side and her history back to my childhood. i explained that i was comfortable involving or not involving her to her level of comfort.
She explained that it hurt her that i was sneaking around but I pointed out our marriage had been shaky for several years and i was afraid of this destroying it; that was why i had purged. i also showed her the new black nightgown i had bought today. So far, she seems accepting of my needs and plans if not comfortable with them. i doubt we’ll be playing lesbian lovers soon but i won’t need to hide so much even if she stays uninvolved.
it was a very tense hour and a half and i feel wrung out now but at least it is done and we are not looking for attorneys.
Oh. I guess you did have the talk. Thank you for sharing. From your description it did not seem to go that badly. I hope all goes well for you.
Yes, it turned out better than i expected. Last night i slept in my new chemise and this morning got up and padded around the house like normal. My wife was up and complimented me on my new nightie.i think she is styunsure about the ear piercing and brow shaping but time will tell. Right now i am enjoying being a girl some at home. 😃
Sammy, you may think of me weird for saying this but congratulations. .. to talk about all this and you feeling embarrassed I totally understand and for me even now I’m still feel very uncomfortable talking about dressing. Only a couple of years dressing as being a late bloomer and married now 40 years certainly was hard to opened up; then trying to explain the why”s on why am I doing this and now . With all the questions, the shock , the traumatic concerns raised. As you have mentioned a few ,for me it’s the way I look at her looking back at me. Having a hard time always thinking what she is really feeling. Scared and worried of her rejecting my passions and just as scared of her cautious acceptance . About her clothing that was a Big issue as she has mentioned invading her space. As like you I did try on a couple of her things but I didn’t feel comfortable so stop right away and started online shopping. Wow!! That’s an eye opener especially from someone not familiar on online purchasing. But what I’m saying her things are hers and should never be touched. That in its self help start my dressing. But back to her wanting to talk? Understand this may be a good thing. As nervous as you are. You! must discuss theses issues and as more talks will help in showing less fears and importantly that fear of embarrassment to you. My wife and I started showing less as a threat towards one another. Hopefully a comfortability will begin and a new twist in your relationship will develop. As for me I’m enjoying my new ventures and with a wife that I know now accepts me for who I am. Still her man when my wife needs and expects me and Stephanie when I need her back even for a moment. Best to you and your soul mate , and communication is the start of many wonderful things ahead. Call it a blessing ❤
Stephanie 🌹
Beautiful balance Stephanie , lovely for you both , Tiff ☺
Exciting. Sounds like it’s time to introduce her to Sammy. Enjoy the scary process. I look forward to hearing how things go. Z
I’m glad for you, it must be a terrible feeling to have to hide things for your soul mate.
While technically speaking my wife knew about my cd before our marriage told her kind of late in the game and she probably didn’t really know what it was, just asked me to keep it out of her sight – which I did for many many years.
I was of course still dressing up whenever I could but it was hard since we both work from home = I was rarely alone.At one point we had a talk and I don’t remember the details around it more than that I ended up showing her the shoes I kicked off when she came to my office. After that I did slowly show more and more to ease her in on it and now I’m fully dressed with her whenever we are alone (I’m still in the closet, kelly is only out at home).
I felt so relieved when I no longer had to hide things for her and the “reward” was also in that I could dress up more often.With no formal education and a scientific sample of 1 I can’t really claim to know much but I think that unless it’s some kind of (halloween) event it is probably best to take it slowly to allow here to process it. I started with high heels, then moved on to skirt, top, breast and so on.
I think the worst thing would probably be to decide to have a talk with your unknowing wife and show up fully dressed, makeup and wig with the words “I have a secret to tell you”. Unless she have a secret that she is in to girls that will probably shock her to much.Started wearing panties every day and we are discussing getting dressed up together when we go away
She sounds like a great person.
I can understand you feeling like you were being put on the spot like that, but I think it’s wonderful that your wife feels comfortable enough to want to talk about it and (more’s the point) understand why you crossdress.
I hope it’s working out for you both.
Hugs
Stacey xx
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