- This topic has 35 replies, 15 voices, and was last updated 3 years ago by
.
- Posts
At 52 years of age I have a sudden urge to cross dress. I’ve never felt this way before. I’m totally confused about how and why this is happening to me. It’s a shock for my wife, too as I’ve never shown any tendency before and she’s struggling to understand and come to terms with this. I’m not sure how far I want to go with this. I’m open to any advice or suggestions how to proceed and where to go next.
Well Diana you came to the right place to try and understand this feeling you are having . All of us girls here are happy we are here and theirs so much to see and do here from reading forums and posts and so many ladies here from all over the world to chat with and become friends with . you know we have an area we cant go to but your wife can its for Wifes and SOs to chat and ask questions of others like herself and try to make some sence of this in her mind . As for you just explore and when you are comfortable with us join in and be happy relax and kick your heels off so again nice meeting you and hope you and your wife get comfortable here and hope to see you around .
Stephanie Bass
Hi Diana
Its definately a mindshift, particularly for those of us late bloomers, I was 55 when I got the urge to try things on for size. Make yourself comfortable here with us, share and explore as you wish. Hopefully you’ll get some useful information and an understanding. It can be a long happy road, destination unknown.
Welcome to you and your wife.
Olivia
Hi Diana,
I don’t really have an answer for you. So many of us started on our journeys at a very young age and that at some point in our adult lives our inner women emerged. As far as what happened at age 52 to trigger an interest or desire only a therapist can offer some insight.
Diana, your tells me that this troubling you. That can easily lead to guilt and shame. For your piece of mind I would urge you to get some counseling.
I’ve been dressing for a little over a year now and each and every time I can be as a woman I have an internal celebration. I love and treasure the feelings I get as I move further along into being the most woman I can be.
Thank you so much for sharing, Diana. Please do get some counseling.
All the best,
Amanda
Just a quick note. I will send you a more detailed welcoming post when I have a little more time. You are not alone. This is happening all over the planet. I believe I can help with both you and your wife’s confusion. For now just remember your love for each other and your joining CDH will soon provide support to help with your new situation. – Blessings from Teralynn
Diana
happy to welcome you here with us . never too late to experience this as I have found late myself . Always had this feeling but not until my 60,s that I actually came out to my wife and started this journey. Many like ourselves here discovering this and with the help and support I have received here and the many wonderful ladies with their advice really help me understand how to cope with theses confusing changes. Very nice meeting you and enjoy being part of this wonderful community.
Stephanie 🌹
Hi Diana,
Warm welcome! Try to work on accepting yourself and see where it goes. It will probably grow to some very wonderful like an amazing bliss like you have never felt before! Above all. don’t bury your feelings!
Kay
Enjoy this brigade Diana
I have found each and every encounter positive and reassuring.
I am more than happy to help with experiences and advice….for what it is worth.
Enjoy the whole encounter with us members
Averyl
Thanks Amanda. I will consider getting some kind of counselling especially if the guilt continues. To be honest I’m not sure if it is guilt I’m feeling. This is all very new to me. My wife’s reaction didn’t help. She was glad I felt able to tell her but she has stated she doesn’t think she can deal with seeing me dressed as a woman. She can be very direct and she’s always honest. I know this is a shock to her, too. I’ll give her time and see what happens from there.
Hi Diana, Teralynn again. As promised here is the more detailed welcoming post I promised you. So all of a sudden you have this urge to crossdress at age 52 without having had this urge at any other time in your life! Really? Well guess what? I totally believe you because it happened to me at age 51! There I was living a blissful retirement life and one one night during meditation beings told me that I had lived more lives as a female than as a male. From the first time I dressed up as Teralynn and looked in the mirror I knew they were right. Teralynn had been part of me all these years just waiting to be recognized. I have also talked to a number of people right here at CDH who found out about their feminine persona at around the same age. Once you feel that urge you cannot ignore it because it won’t go away or be ignored for long. So why fight it just roll with it! You say your wife is confused also! When I first told mine about Teralynn she looked at me with a “You are joking right” look all over her face. Eventually she realized that I wasn’t joking and that Teralynn was here to stay. Now she is not surprised to see me running around the house in a dress, nylons and ballerina flats. I am pushing 71 now and I can’t imagine Teralynn not being part of my life. I am equally comfortable as either John or Teralynn but I spend most of my time in Teralynn’s clothing ( and she does have a lot of clothing). I often wondered why my wife needed so much closet space! Now I know! I am not sure how your wife is adjusting to all this, but the more you can assure her of a few things the easier it will be for the both of you! What type of things? I am still the person you married just with a feminine persona neither of us knew about. I still love you. (Unless you don’t- that would be a problem) I am not gay. (Unless you are – problem!) I don’t want to fully transition into a woman. ( Unless you do – problem) I don’t want to get all dressed up and go out clubbing with my crossdressing friends. ( Unless you do – problem unless she wants to come along and party with you) Hopefully you get the idea that your crossdressing journey can be incorporated into a marriage relationship if you both still love each other and can make the adjustments necessary to accept the new dynamic in your relationship. For some couples it has even had a positive effect in spicing up their lovemaking! I hope you will find these ideas helpful! Last idea- stay active on the site and get to know some of our terrific members and if your wife gets to the acceptance and supportive level you might want to ask her if she would like to become a member here in her own right. Significant others have their own group here and she could get a much better understanding about crossdressing matters. Remember crossdressing is not a four letter word! If I can ever be of further service please feel free to contact me through this site and let me know how I can help. A post on my home profile page wall will get the fastest response. – Blessings
Wow! Thank you for this amazing post. You’ve given me a lot to think about. My wife and I have been watching a television show about reincarnation. I think it’s called the Ghost In My Child, about children who have been having past lives memories that are affecting them today.
When I think about it, the trigger was a vision in my head, while I was relaxed, of myself all dressed up complete with hair and makeup. But what if that was a memory? Also I keep having a vision of an emerald green dress or gown. Something I’m going to be on the look out for. Also a friend from this site showed me a photo last night of a gorgeous pair of emerald green open toe shoes. The feeling when I saw that photo was visceral, like a punch in the gut. i wanted them so bad! I’ve never been excited about a pair of shoes in my life! At least this would give a possible explanation of why this is happening. But it doesn’t make the feelings I have now any less real. But at least I can get a sense of why. I don’t plan to fight these feelings. I don’t think I could even if I wanted to. Now that I’ve given my female persona a name, I sense her in the background waiting to come out fully. I have no plans to become female permanently. But I want to let Diana have her time.
I showed your post to my wife. It has given us an anchor to cling to. She still gets emotional about the whole thing. But I’m sitting here wearing a pair of panties in front of her because she allowed me to. She knows i want to buy my own. She also knows I want to buy some feminine clothes to wear. We’re taking this very slow as she struggles to adapt. But she’s asking questions and we’re discussing this in her time and on her terms so I’m hopeful we can come to some kind of agreement that we can both accept. My biggest concern right now is I may want to dress more often than she can handle. But I’m not going to borrow trouble. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.
Thank you so much for giving me something that makes sense of why this is happening now.
I am glad you found my post helpful. What you and I and many others around the world are experiencing is something called cell memory and the short explanation is when subconscious memories from a previous life or lives start having an effect on our current physical life. For those that don’t believe in reincarnation or the possibility of us living more than one life this explanation might be totally dismissed as a a reason for crossdressing, but there has been credible scientific work done in this field of study using regressive hypnosis. If you and the wife are interested in learning more about this send me a private message and put the word “research” on the subject line and I will send send you some references so that you can do your own research! It will make a believer out of you. My best regards to you and your wife. – Blessings from Teralynn
Diana,
I was late 40s when the urge hit me full bore. I fed it to my wife in bits shaving more ,wearing more feminine clothing. I would wear dresses and skirts At night in the house under the guise of sweating all day. This went on for several years. It all came out this past year. We are living a “new normal” living in the truth. I dress on weekends mostly full makeup and often step out to shop. I say I have 360 degrees to my personality and I enjoy every one of them. So far we are still together. The biggest thing for was realizing that this is a part of me not something missing in her.
vanessaHi Diana’ Welcome to CDH. I found that your posts and Teralynn’s very insightful. I am 65 myself and CDed and underdressed most of my life off and on. In my late 20’s I was heavy into CDing, that’s when I picked the name I am useing today. By 1984, not finding any support groups like CDH I purged and almost quit completely. 1985 I got married and had 3 kids. During the marrige I did occasionally ‘borrow some of my wife’s clothes ( sometimes there was an arousal factor and sometimes I just liked how they looked and felt).
In 2011 I got divorced ( nothing to do with CD) and since then we continued to share the house mainly due to finacial reasons. She has somewhat of a hording problem so the house is getting pretty full of her stuff. Go to March of 2019, I wake up in the middle of the night and for no reason I can think of went through storage containers searching for clothes. I found some skirts, nice tops, panties and bras. I think I found some of what I was searching for. Now dressing up has made me a much happier person. So maybe there is something to the idea of past lives because Sandy is happy as Sandy. She also helps Randy to be a more caring thoughtful person.
Diana read the forums and the articles here I know they have helped me find myself. Go slow, keep loving your wife, all of this is all so shocking and confusing to her. I’ll bet it is confusing to you, I know it is confusing to me as I don’t understand all my own reasons.( I just know I like the feeling of presenting as a woman).
Good luck, Sandy
Hi Sandy. Thank you for your thoughtful response. Yes, it’s confusing and part of me wishes this had never happened and part of me wants to embrace Diana. I’m going through a few ups and downs at the moment. Part of that might be because I’m unable to dress right now as my wife isn’t ready for that yet and I don’t want to push her away. I hope we can find some kind of balance before long. I’m reading the posts and I’ve been in the chatroom several times and find everyone here incredibly supportive.
Hi Diana,
I can’t really relate to a spontaneous desire to crossdress.O had friend that said it was due to hormonal changes at our age.
However I disagree in my situation.
I had these desires since I was very young just never really acted on them.
I did sneak and try a majorette leotard and a one pice bathing suit on in my teens.
However In my early fifties my wife and I were experimenting in our love life and I put on some high heeled knee high boots and that was all it took.
the pink fog started taking over.
Was there anything that caused you to suddenly take an interest.
Patty
P.S Diana
A bit of advise Go slow sweety.
You may find the desire to dress (Pink Fog) as we call it can consume you and cause problems with your marriage.
So make sure you keep focused on your marriage and those needs if you pursue this.
Please take it from my experience it almost cost me my marriage and has strained it.
Patty
Thank you Patty. I will try to keep a steady perspective with this. As for where this came from…I have no idea! I had a vision late at night, while I was relaxed of myself wearing a dress complete with hair and makeup. And it was such a visceral feeling when I saw that. And the desire, urge even, has been here ever since.
I feel I need to post an update on my original post. So here it is.
It hasn’t even been a week since my story started. My wife’s reaction was probably pretty typical of what most of you have experienced. Shock. Confusion. She repeatedly me asked if I’m turning bi or gay. I’ve repeatedly reassured her the answer is neither. Then she worried I would want to transition to being a woman full time. Again, no.
Yesterday she had a chance to go in the chatroom and talk to a couple of ambassadors who have had a huge impact and I think she’s starting to believe it’s not as bad as she feared. Thank you Robyn, I am forever in your debt and to anyone else who was part of it. To be honest the whole thing is such a blur I can’t even remember who was there.
Last night I told her I needed to wear something feminine, even for just 5 minutes and I would lock myself in the bedroom so she wouldn’t have to see, if she wasn’t ready. Well those five minutes turned into 2 wonderful hours as she picked out a silky blouse she hasn’t even worn and an old knee length skirt. Then after a while she gave me one of her old long purple dresses to try on. I actually let out a soft moan as I felt that dress encase my skin. It felt…well…you all know what that feels like, right? As the saying goes, you never forget your first time. She even took the pics I shared to this site.
today she gave me a dress that a good friend had given her once. I’m not sure she’s even worn it. It comes down to just above the knee and it flares out a little bit. I LOVE the way the dress caresses my thighs as I walk. Sorry love, you aren’t getting this one back!! LOL!
And now we’re getting ready to go shopping for a couple of outfits of my very own. I’m so freaking EXCITED!!!!!!
We have always had a strong marriage and a deep love. I know I am so lucky and so BLESSED to have this remarkable woman for my wife. If nothing else this has deepened my love for her even further and made me realize even more how lucky I am to be married to her. Yes, I’m gushing now. I’m allowed to. It’s my inner Diana as I call her.
I’ve read the stories on here of couples getting divorced or the wife who wants nothing to do with this often confusing side of our life. I feel so bad for you who are going through that. But I know opening up to my wife about this was the second best decision I ever made. the best was choosing to marry her. Obviously.
As for me, I’ve not only accepted this lifestyle I’m ready to embrace and run with it. I love my inner Diana as a true part of me.
Thank you to all you members who have chatted with me and helped me see this as a natural transition and not an aberration.
I say live in the moment. Are you serious you have never had a time even if it was a short moment that the thought of putting on some makeup and a dress has never crossed your mine? I don’t buy that. Somewhere along the line cross dressing has entered your mind. Whatever though your the one who has to decide whether or not you will keep doing it or work towards getting the vision out of her mind. Good luck.
Hi Jackie,
Thanks for your reply. I had been noticing nice women’s clothing for a few months before this happened. I manage a thrift shop and I would often see a nice dress or blouse and think that looks really nice. Then I’d tell myself it would look good on my wife. So maybe it was denial. I’ve always been very compassionate and sensitive. Maybe this should have come out years ago. I don’t know why it didn’t.
- The forum ‘Introductions & New Members’ is closed to new topics and replies.
Recent Comments