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  • #435952
    Audrey Meadows
    Participant
    Registered On: January 20, 2021
    Topics: 1
    Replies: 1
    Has thanked: 0 times
    Been thanked: 15 times

    Hey gurls! Have been reading a bit on here and just created an account. I’ve been dressing regularly for over 15 years (now in my 30s). I was lucky enough to have have fairly supportive, or at least open gf’s, until my last serious one who didn’t accept at all, and clearly suffered a lot of anxiety at the very thought of me in any feminine things. I can’t tell you how many times a conversation on everyday dating apps (Hinge, Bumble, Tinder) were going spectacularly until crossdressing was mentioned. The interest died and the convo came to a screeching hault, and with always nearly the same statement: “not judging, but this is not for me. Best of luck!” …extremely frustrating. Of course, I could keep this aspect of myself hidden at first, but that also feels dishonest. All the stories of divorce and breakups because of crossdressing are a sad truth we have to contend with. I was wondering what you all have experienced and how you’ve navigated dating as crossdressers. Have you come across any apps or sites that make it easier for us? Thnx in advance! 💕

Viewing 8 reply threads
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    • #442250
      Michelle Newman
      Lady
      Registered On: June 22, 2017
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 2881
      Has thanked: 0 times
      Been thanked: 2118 times

      Welcome Audrey!

    • #436604
      Emily Alt
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: August 24, 2019
      Topics: 11
      Replies: 496
      Has thanked: 401 times
      Been thanked: 2233 times

      Hi Audrey!

      I agree with Katie and Robyn. Good advice from both of them.

      Katie is right. Some women are really attracted to crossdressers and transwomen. The thing is, there aren’t a lot of them out there. You have to look in the right places.

      When I started going out it never occurred to me that some women might be attracted. It was quite the surprise! I’ve been hit on a number of times in gay and lesbian bars. One lady was very persistent and I almost cheated.

      Any woman you encounter in a gay or lesbian bar isn’t going to be shocked by a crossdresser. If she shows any interest it’s obvious she knows what she’s getting into. All you have to do is be yourself. It’s a huge relief.

      I like Robyn’s suggestion too. Why not be open on dating sites? Post some photos. Use your femme name. Friends first. You’ll save yourself a bunch of time and have a better chance of finding the right person.

      You’ll miss 100% of the shots you don’t take!

      I’d go one step further and consider dating sites that cater to alternative lifestyles. Yeah, I’m not naming any ’cause I like my CDH membership and intend to keep it. But they’re pretty easy to find.

      One caution. If you create a dating profile for Audrey, don’t post info about your male self that a creep could use to attack you.

      Hugs, Emily

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #436123
      Teralynn Loving
      Lady
      Registered On: October 17, 2019
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 1106
      Has thanked: 8865 times
      Been thanked: 2031 times

      Hi Audrey, Teralynn here. Welcome to our wonderful online community. I look at crossdressing from a psychological perspective concentrating on they why and how of the crossdressing journey. I always advise that honesty is the best policy because it resolves so many future potential problems that can ruin a relationship. That doesn’t mean you have to tell all when you initially make contact with someone for a casual conversation or get together. At the moment it occurs to you that – this is someone that I like enough to possibly have a serious relationship with – then you need to mention your crossdressing. This gives both of you the chance  to walk away before you invest a lot of time and effort in the relationship. It will also give the other person a chance to ask any questions they might have so they get a real understanding of what a real relationship with you might be like. Will you have a lot decide not to pursue a relationship with you? Possibly!  But do you really want to hide who you are only to have it discovered much later on when the consequences could be a lot more devastating. Better to continue to search for someone who will accept you as you are than be trapped in a relationship with someone who feels betrayed because you didn’t tell them about your crossdressing or have it end in a disastrous divorce. From your Introduction Post, I think you know whick situation works better for you. Don’t give up Luv! There are women out there that will not be turned off by your crossdressing and in fact may find it refreshing. If I can ever be of further service please feel free to contact me through this site and let me know how I can help. A post on my home profile page wall or a private message will get the fastest response. – Blessings

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #436052
      Alice Underwire
      Lady
      Registered On: September 16, 2019
      Topics: 21
      Replies: 2734
      Has thanked: 1962 times
      Been thanked: 5552 times

      Hi Audrey,

      Welcome to CDH.

      Alice

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #436040
      Anonymous
      Registered On:
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 31
      Has thanked: 27 times
      Been thanked: 189 times

      I am married so I never dated as a female looking for females, but I do have a LOT!!! Of gay female friends that go to lesbian bars and such and from what they told me is that I was every bi woman’s dream lol. I have had many women tell me they would date me in a heartbeat as a female/male but I’m not looking and my wife doesn’t mind me dressing so no need for me. I think the dating sites your talking about don’t really capture the audience your seeking. Just know there are many women who are into it more then you know, use your female appearance as an advantage to befriend women and the door will open to friends they may have or people they know. You gotta go old school and get out there like before smart phones and talk with women. They don’t put up defenses as much when a hot blonde approaches them and asks them a question.

    • #436019
      Robyn Devine
      Duchess
      Registered On: October 24, 2020
      Topics: 15
      Replies: 592
      Has thanked: 1880 times
      Been thanked: 2529 times

      Hi Audrey

      I’m gonna give you some bold advice…

      Why NOT??  What do you have to lose?  I suggest actually posting your feminine self on sites and looking for friends first!

      WHY?  I’m currently doing that right now with 3 different dating/friend sites.  I don’t get flooded with responses BUT…there have been a handful of brave women who’ve reached out…no dates or get togethers yet…but reaching out on their part is a pretty strong and confident move.

      Right now I think my feminine persona is less intimidating, more welcoming. Especially if you make it known “Friends First” I think they are more apt to reach out.

      Doing nothing will get you nowhere, so you may as well take a chance and be bold.

      Zero minus zero equals Zero.  Doing nothing will merit nothing.  So throw caution to the wind and be bold!  You truly don’t have anything to lose.

      Just my thoughts and experience

      XO Robyn 🤗❤️💃

      7 users thanked author for this post.
      • #436627
        Sa•man•tha
        Managing Ambassador
        Registered On: January 21, 2018
        Topics: 430
        Replies: 1740
        Has thanked: 7693 times
        Been thanked: 6936 times

        Zero minus zero equals Zero.  Doing nothing will merit nothing.

        Oh no you didn’t girlfriend!! 😀

         

        2 users thanked author for this post.
        • #436823
          Robyn Devine
          Duchess
          Registered On: October 24, 2020
          Topics: 15
          Replies: 592
          Has thanked: 1880 times
          Been thanked: 2529 times

          Sam

          OMG!! HAHAHA!!

          I had no idea I made that reference!

          Thanks!

          XO Robyn 🤗❤️

          1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #436007
      Genevïéve
      Lady
      Registered On: July 28, 2020
      Topics: 22
      Replies: 813
      Has thanked: 7381 times
      Been thanked: 3418 times

      ‘To the Moon Alice…’  🙂

      Hi Audrey…

      ‘Honesty is the best policy ‘ they say….  however, how many GG’s on a first date or while getting to know one another via texting/dating sites will say… “That’s great hon, we can do each other’s makeup!!!”. The chances are slim to none. There are ‘a few’ girls here that had accepting g/f’s out of the gate, I would imagine they are a very small percentage of GG”s though. Some girls do get lucky.

      It’s a Catch-22…. Damned if we do… Damned if we don’t. For most girls, IMO, they stay single, or they keep their feminine side to themselves until you cannot keep it contained. I think we stand a better chance with the latter.

      Tough situation for sure. I wonder what my wife would have said if I had told her on the first couple of dates that I wore femine clothing/bling? I’ll have to ask her… 😉👍

      L❤VE

      Gen… ❤

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #435982
      Anonymous
      Registered On:
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 173
      Has thanked: 151 times
      Been thanked: 618 times

      That’s a really tough situation and coming from somebody who pretty much avoids any kind of ‘relationship’ situations I wish I could offer more help as to how to navigate this. It will be interesting to see what other advice people might have. I wish I could be of more help, but it’s something I purposefully avoid. Maybe within there is an answer too? I just think it’s an ‘easier’ (?) yet, maybe shallow way to live your life, the avoidance of hurting others …or disappointing them.

      My single life has been very much by design. There’s been many opportunity for change, it just hasn’t seemed like the ‘right’ thing to do for ‘me’ I believe we have to prioritize ourselves over the needs or intentions of others, especially with other baggage such as our lifestyle is involved.

      I do honestly wish you luck with your search though.

      Thank you,

      KvC

      5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #436049
        Mindy Mills
        Lady
        Registered On: January 8, 2021
        Topics: 5
        Replies: 66
        Has thanked: 116 times
        Been thanked: 374 times

        I’m the same with avoiding relationships. Haven’t dated in 6 years and don’t have a real burning desire to go down that road again.

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #435971
      Lily-Rose Nielsen
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 2, 2020
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 166
      Has thanked: 834 times
      Been thanked: 582 times

      Hi Audrey 💕💕 (lovely name btw)

      Welcome to CDH. I think that that experience is shared by so many of us wherever in the world. My dressing was a part of why my wife wanted a divorce. Now we have been divorced for 12 years and I have come out as transgender. If you want to know my story I have written an article “ the untold story of Lily-Rose”. Published here at CDH. It pretty much sums up my life up until now.

      Lots of Hugs

      Lily-Rose

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #435976
        Audrey Meadows
        Lady
        Registered On: January 20, 2021
        Topics: 1
        Replies: 1
        Has thanked: 0 times
        Been thanked: 15 times

        Thank you so much for your reply, Lily-Rose! And I must say you look so beautiful! I wish I could look more feminine, but anyhow, I will be sure to check out your story. It’s always valuable to see these situations through another person’s eyes, especially in the secretive and often taboo world we inhabit as crossdressers and trans individuals!

        4 users thanked author for this post.
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