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Hello all. This is one of the most nerve racking yet at the same time everything things I’ve ever done. I’ve never asked this side of me to anyone, no not a single person, and I’m actually terrified now to even post this intro. I am a closet crossdresser and have been for at least 15 years now. My parents never found out when I was living with them, no girlfriends have ever found out and now I’m married and she doesn’t know. I thought the feelings and desires would eventually be suppressed but I’m realizing now they will never go away. I’m happy married and live my wife but I’m terrified of her reaction when I tell her I know I need to but can’t muster up the courage and am afraid of her reaction. For now, I’ll keep doing it in secret. I’m here to get support and help from anyone that is willing. I’m tired of living this crossdressing life alone and want others that I can share it with. Please be kind and forgive me as I’m very new to his community. I feel like this is my first step in the coming out process and am nervous and excited as to where this will take me. If you’ve made it this far please say hi. I’m very shy at first but do want some new friends.
Hi Bekki!! You will find as I did this is a great place to make connection with other ladies That are in the same situation or have been there! I myself have been a closet dresser since I was 13! Now I am 71!! My wife passed away about a year ago and now I am building my wardrobe and still afraid I might be caught. I will be happy to answer any questions you may have and would be honored to be your friend! You can send me a private message and I will get back to you!
Love Tami♥♥♥
Hello Bekki.
Many of us can identify with your situation almost to 100%.
You can be sure that we will welcome you with open arms and an open mind.
Having said that, I have to say that when wives find out about their husband’s dressing, there are two huge issues for them:
the obvious, the dressing itself. Depending in their education, culture, age, religion, if you have kids, etc. They may be more or less tolerant, accepting or even supporting of the cd partner.
The second is the one that in my opinion and after talking to many significant others of a crossdresser, may be harder to overcome for them. The deception, the fact you had a secret like that and you didn’t trust her with it. And I want you to please consider… the longer you wait to bring the subject up, chances are that there will be more things that you would have been hidding. (Been there…)
now, this unrequested piece of advice is worth what you paid for it ok? I wish you the best, and if I (we) can help, we will.
Gaby
Hello Bekki,
I don’t think there is anyone of our sisterhood that doesn’t understand and sympathise with your agony. You have entered an oasis of understanding and support. Add the ladies you would like to befriend, and ask us whatever is on your mind.
Welcome honey, Catarina
Thanks Michelle!
Hello Bekki,
I can remember the nerves upon first signing up. After all those years of secrecy and hiding myself away, it is good to share, so you have made a great start in reaching out here. Read, ask questions, make friends, and hopefully you’ll get answers and feel more confident in being this part of yourself.
Take care,
Jasmine
Hi Bekki and welcome to CDH! Your story is so familiar to so many of us. Please know you are not alone in your feelings and please read other members stories and feel free to reach out via message or chat to me or others. I am happy to share my own experience with you, especially how I told my wife and the support she has given since. Hugs, Michelle
Bekki , it’s certainly is nerve racking as many of us here now quite know . Being closeted and alone can be hard on anyone but here you have many to talk with, to share stories with and make friends with. Hopefully in time you will open up to your wife only you will know when that time will happen but she should know lost of trust is a big deal in any relationship. Get comfortable with us and learn more about you and soon a clearer picture will show why you are who you are. The best to as you move forward .
Stephanie 🌹
Hello,
Let’s start by saying, please don’t ask for forgiveness. You have done nothing wrong. You have felt nothing that you should be ashamed of, or have any regret over.
What has occurred is, you’ve come to a realization that there is another part of you. That other part (in all of us), is what has been suppressed. Suppressed by society and it’s “norms”, and what we are all taught what a being a “man” is.
I would say, don’t come out to your wife until you have come to terms with yourself. Accept yourself, don’t try to suppress your feelings or desires, because it all feels too wonderful. You probably have or will, go through periods where you don’t even think about this, but then there is a trigger of some sort, that brings out the desires and passions to dress, or otherwise do things that make you feel fabulous. That is okay, that is normal, and these are things everyone on CDH (I dare say) have felt.
Be careful, be cautious and do consider your wife’s feelings. It is the right thing to do, but not at the expense of your on well being. You being and feeling good, will make her feel good too.
She may accept it, and be prepared if she does not. That is okay for her not to. My wife does not, so I’ve found ways to workaround things. She notices I’m sure and will say things I know, but I believe she also knows this is something that does not go away. It is a party of me, like it is a part of you.
I feel a poem coming on.
🙂
Let loose and be free!
Hi Bekki,
Welcome to CDH…as others before me .. You have come to the right place for support and understanding…. I have been crossdressing for 20 years … When I retired 10 years ago (wife Kathy was still working at the time) I embraced my need to express my feminine self with a vengeance… I ordered clothes, lingerie, etc. and have the opportunity to accept packages without worry… I dressed when the opportunity presents itself. Kathy was out and came home early… Leonara was dressed to the “nines” head to red polished toenails. I was like a “deer caught in the lights” I decided to change before I sat down to explaine my “needs”. In our discussion she confessed that she saw previously lipstick on a coffee cup and thought I was having an affair… OMG. However Kathy is still trying to understand my “Choices” rather than my
needs… After 47 years of marriage we have a compromise “don’t ask don’t tell” and she plans outings with her friends to give me the opportunity express my alter ego…
I just thought my experience my be worth sharing.
Bekki, you may be the best judge for the moment to tell your wife about your alter ego. If I can be of help please personal message (PM) at anytime…LeonaraWelcome you are not alone in this and the Internet makes this so much easier to find others to share this with. To learn you are not a freak and how to learn to feel comfortable with who we are. Falling in love is the strongest suppressor of the urges to dress, so not telling the wife is typical – you thought you were over this. But it returns, often when a child takes her attention partly away from you. My wife found out after 2 years and has now known for 28 years. She is tolerant but not supportive most of the time. I do not recall someone being outed by others from these CD-focused websites. But be careful to use private browsing. I am on other CD websites and even have a Facebook page using the same name as here. There is a lot to learn but sharing here is quite safe.
Hugs, EllenWelcome. I am new here as well. I have liked having this forum as an outlet to explore the woman in me. It is nice to be referred to as Amber and one of the girls.
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