New and unsure

This topic contains 7 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by  Juliette Parfois 11 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #87205

    Juliette Parfois
    Registered On: February 12, 2018
    Topics: 5
    Replies: 8

    I posted some of this as a comment under Deety DT’s article about being “just” a crossdresser but I should post here by way of introducing myself. I have just arrived at CDH and have one burning question in my baggage. It seems to be a tabu subject so I will try to tread softly.
    I have never wanted to be a girl and have never felt trapped in the wrong body. I don’t feel I am on the transgender scale. I am a heterosexual man but from an early age lingerie has had a powerful erotic attraction and now I enjoy pink time whenever I get the chance. Perhaps I am more of a transvestic fetishist than a crossdresser though I do crossdress in private and for my own gratification. And that is the problem, there is always an element of sexual arousal, a „frisson of excitement“ as Jan Morris wrote in her book Conundrum where she describes her transition. Sometimes dressing is a red-hot erotic adventure, short but intense. Other times the excitement at dressing is not much less but I feel a sense of almost serenity overcome me and can enjoy hours of relaxation en femme. The first sensation you can probably call transvestic fetishism. Is the second sensation what crossdressers experience? I just don‘t know. Can both exist side by side in one person?

    I underdress most of the time and have a drawer of my own lingerie. My wife and I are about the same size so I can borrow her clothes which means I don’t have to stash feminine clothing. She doesn’t know and I am very careful to put everything back as I found it. I’m not worried about passing. I love the feeling of the clothes on my skin and seeing myself in the mirror rather than trying to convince as a woman. Except in fantasies, I have no intention of leaving the house dressed though I fantasize about having a professional make-over. As I work from home I can dress while my wife is at work but there is always the fear of her returning when I am dressed. My dressing is usually just panties, thighhighs and heels with a t-shirt on top but sometimes I’ll wear a skirt and bra. I love the excitement of planning what to wear then dressing and letting things develop. I would like to move freely around the apartment when dressed but I fear the neighbors seeing me at the window so I’m trapped, if not in the closet then at least in the bedroom. So where does that put me? Am I truly a crossdresser or just playing at it, or a transvestite or a fetishist?
    I don’t know if I’m in the right place, but who better to ask than you girls here?

    I have regularly bought sexy lingerie for my wife but mostly these items remained unworn except when I borrowed them. A couple of years ago I thought it would be better to cut out the middle woman and buy for myself the stuff that I wanted to wear. That is when Juliette was created.

    I look forward to hearing what you think.

    5 users thanked author for this post.
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  • #87708
     Juliette Parfois 
    Registered On: February 12, 2018
    Topics: 5
    Replies: 8

    Thank you everyone who sent words of welcome and encouragement, both public and private. It was not easy to introduce such a dark secret as Juliette to the wider world but the woman within allows us to talk in ways we would never dream of doing otherwise. In searching for what makes us do what we do, I find labels useful as they do define certain behavioral patterns and, as each of us is different, labels are a way of defining similarities and differences. After taking the plunge and joining CDH, I am slowly feeling more relaxed about being here and admitting to what I am. It was great fun taking the pictures for Juliette’s profile and cover images, it makes her somehow more real. I’m envious of girls who already have a face, we are just at the “below the neck” stage! Looking forward to meeting more of you. Juliette

     Paulette Gibson 
    Registered On: November 14, 2017
    Topics: 2
    Replies: 20

    Welcome Juliette. Finding CDH has been a tremendous turning point for me and I hope you find it the same for you. Everyone has been supportive, caring, even loving as I’ve learned about myself. Your post could have been written by me.

    I know you’ll find all the same things yourself. Again, welcome home.



     Amanda Patrick 
    Registered On: October 30, 2015
    Topics: 2
    Replies: 84

    Hi Juliette,

    Welcome to CDH. You are certainly in the right place here. Lots of Information on every thing your feeling and answers to lots of questions here. Browse around in all of the forms and enjoy



     Gisela Claudine 
    Registered On: January 19, 2018
    Topics: 13
    Replies: 202

    Hi Juliette. Welcome to CDH. Here you will find lot of undestanding, friendship and support. I came over looking for answers about my feelings and I love CDH. I enjoy reading about different subjects, chatting and everything, and I like the way we respect each other feelings. My sisters make me feel good at home and I know I will be finding my answers down the road thank to them. Why people like to label themselves where there’s no use in it. We are all in different paths of the same journey and we are here to help each other to feel better. There are different feelings about crossdressing and many times we had varieties of sensations according to circumstances. I’m not an expert but I had lived long enough and I just dress for myself because I feel good wearing women’s cloths. Don’t label yourself. Just try to be happy the way you are. Believe me. You are in the right place.

    My love and respect,


     Stephanie Flowers 
    Registered On: June 26, 2017
    Topics: 8
    Replies: 1592

    Juliette   welcome;   no matter in which way a person loves to dress, for instance in suddle   feelings  , fetishism , sexual . This is a place of total understanding and support by many here. All who come here arrive in confusion, denial or just looking for meeting and sharing their passons. Never feel alone and make friends to talk to and interact with. Yes you have found cdh and  will realized it’s a place where you’ll be happy to be part of.   Happy to meet you and hope to see you here. 🌹

    1 user thanked author for this post.
     Lorie Peace 
    Registered On: October 13, 2017
    Topics: 14
    Replies: 54


    I too have the same issues of trying to understand my desire to dress. For most of my life, I used dressing mostly as an erotic outlet. Occassionally I would remain in a skirt for part of the day, and then reluctantly, and with a certain amount of shame, put it away.

    About a year ago I started seeing the trans community in media, including the Amazon series Transparent. There were so many feelings that I identified with in that show, and it liberated Lorie to explore.

    I am grateful to my relationship coach who helped me embrace this relationship with myself with an open mind to where I land on the full spectrum of gender identity.

    Since there are days, even a week at a time, where I have no interest in Lorie (except maybe as an erotic outlet), it seems that the best descriptor for me is genderfluid. With this moniker comes its own sense of guilt that I don’t seem to come down on one side or the other. My coach is helping me to accept all of the experiences, desires, and expressions of my feminine AND masculine sides.

    Like you, I don’t seem to have an interest in transitioning. So I just keep exploring, paying attention to what feels good, noticing any backlash of guilt, letting it go.

    I’ve joined a crossdresser/trans group in my city, so I have others around to talk to and feel like I belong. Loneliness is a result of shame, so I strongly encourage you to look at the resources here on CDH for groups local to you. They are totally open and accepting.

    For me it is so electric to be standing talking to someone while I’m in a broom skirt and panties, and feel my long shaved legs gently touch as I talk. And as I listen, my mind and heart knows I am not alone.

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     Lucinda Hawkns 
    Registered On: September 1, 2015
    Topics: 4
    Replies: 704

    hello and welcome to C.D.H. the only place on the web to meet others like our self;s and meet new friends and advice us girls here are very under standing and friendly. i am also a closet x dresser so to speak, wife knows i dress up and have more female cloths then she does and make up and perfume then she does. she lets me dress up only when 2 adult children that still live at home are out for hours. wife will not help or sit with me and talk like 2 females. get to know my feminine side of me. i am a thin person with a female figure. 28 waist 5 foot 4 inches tall. for you to dress up at home and afraid to have neighbor see you keep the blinds closed for one. having wife come home unexpected well you have to keep your eyes and ears open for the door to make a sound then rush to change or head into the bath room with a change of cloths. better yet just put on manly cloths over your female cloths and she would not notice. for getting aroused while dressing up that’s normal, but will go away after a short while. if that is one of the problems. when i dress up there is no arousal, i dress up for the person i should of been first thing in the morning then my boring male cloths over them, in the winter is better for it keeps me warm and when time is good all i do is take off my boring male cloths and i am all dressed up, all i have to do is make up, perfume, wig and ear rings. i started to wear my wife’s dresses also till she got tired of it, so i buy my own dresses, skirts, make up, perfume, bras, panties, pads. ear rings, heels. i but certain things in stores others on line. feel free to read my profile it will tell more about my self and how i started.. i am 55 years old and love dressing up as a female. nothing more, i am some what passable but rather keep it in doors but would like to have wife sit with me and talk like 2 woman. ask me how i feel wearing a dress, what do i feel like dressed up, i know now how long it takes to dress up and look pretty and the cost of it all. well hope i answered most of your questions. have a great day.

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