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Not sure if this is the right forum for this but here it is.
Something new and unexpected has started to happen lately. While dressing over the past year or so has progressed rapidly from just nylons, shoes, and panties to full outfits, makeup and wigs. This I have kept under control somewhat.
However, over the past couple months I seem to be thinking about other men. No one in particular but rather what it would be to be with one in a dating, romantic relationship. This is the part that comes as a surprise.
Is this something to be expected in a transitioning self discovery phase? I assume not all get these feelings but is it normal? What else might i expect to happen?
“Normal” guys would struggle to have a conversation about such a topic without being concerned they are viewed as something or another. As a CD, I feel more okay to talk about gender variance and feelings.
I’ve seen a few posts on this site and others where a “straight” CD found themselves fantasizing, wondering, curious, attracted, or may other feelings to men.
Being a CD often evolves to more than just the clothes, heels, lingerie, and makeup. Thoughts, feelings, behaviors, mannerisms fill some of our heads as we explore our feminine side more. Some of us are more caring, nurturing, endearing, empathetic, listening, and all those sterotypical feminine traits when our mind is in CD mode (regardless of what we’re actually dressed as). Some of us feel more attractive, vulnerable, creative, seductive, and many other strong feelings women seem to have a right to feeling more than men.
Naturally, what you’re feeling, is “normal” – after all, many of us want to be “normal” – allowed to feel what we feel regardless of our gender.
It’s all about what you do with those feelings. In the passion of the moment, it’s easy to venture down a regrettable path. I’ve learned from experience that it’s best to explore those feelings in a safe environment (like meditation, just thinking, talking with others you trust, on sites like this), giving yourself time to adjust and change, then act on them.
Take care with the new feelings and you’ll be okay with whatever direction you eventually find they lead you to.
Thank you Lea.
While I kept progressing in the physical dressing and striving for a more feminine appearance. It appears that while I was concentrating on this and new i really wanted to go out in public dressed as Alexis I never considered the reasons I wanted to do this.
Up to 3 weeks ago the idea of kissing another guy was NOT in the cards. But as I keep moving and thinking about who I want Alexis to become this is something that I no longer dismiss. I guess that is what triggered this original conversation.
The idea of meditation is one I will use. Now I wonder how I should actually explore these feelings since I have no interest in testing it out with “several” guys.
Thanks for your support Lea.
Lea, I concur with you 100%. In fact, I don’t particularly cater to the label ‘crossdresser’ because when en femme I don’t feel like/consider myself a ‘man in women’s clothes’. In addition to being transformed physically, I also transform mentally and emotionally and react/respond from that perspective. I simply adore being romanced, and flirted with, by guys who approach me in a polite and gentlemanly manner.
Alexis I agree with Lea. We mentally transition from man to woman and so attractions come naturally. I seem to be concious more and more of cute men and there is a stirring within me. I realize that our feminine submissive nature can be very powerful with men and I find that exciting.
Hi, Alexis. I don’t have any advice to give, I’m afraid. I do want to thank you for sharing. Also, my own experience has been somewhat the opposite of yours. In a committed but sexually dysfunctional hetero marriage for many years, and at the age of 50, I found myself wanting to engage with men. Long story short, along the way the need to CD emerged. Honestly, at this point I can’t tell if the two things are connected or not. Life seems to continually throw unexpected things my way!
Alexis,
I went through exactly the same thing during my exploratory phase. I went from thinking that men were repulsive to loving one. I was married for 34 years and had two children. Now I have been in a steady and fulfilling relationship with a man for six months. Let yourself go and discover all experiences that will flow from your new feelings. Truly explore. You’ll be glad you did.
I like so many other girls in here have found this desire to be quite natural. There is no reason to freak out about it now. I too needed to feel like a complete woman with the feelings and emotions that come with it. I have enjoyed dating and being with men that admirer us . You dont need to get sexually involved at first but being with a man shopping or to dinner or just dancing at a club is such a thrill. Without a man in my life I just feel like debbie in a dress. Take baby steps and explore those feelings. At my stage in life I could be married but only to a man now and have no regrets
[quote quote=33059]Is this something to be expected in a transitioning self discovery phase? I assume not all get these feelings but is it normal? What else might i expect to happen? [/quote]
The older I get, the more I come to dislike the word “normal” to be honest. If everybody involved has given consent, then that’s really all that matters.
For me personally, I accepted the fluidity of my sexuality many years before I even considered the fluidity of my gender. I’m married and in a more-or-less* open relationship. I’ve had minimal chances to explore much, though. I would absolutely love to find a male lover who appreciates Rose in addition to my male side.
My advice, Alexis, is to stop worrying about “normal” too much. All that will do is complicate matters, especially if you apply society’s definition of normal rather than your own. I prefer stealing from the Hippocratic Oath – the pledge doctors take: “First, do no harm.”
(* “More-or-less” keeps it simple enough for this conversation; in reality things are a bit more complicated than just “an open relationship” though.)
I guess the use of the word “Normal” was not ment in the context Rose took it to mean. It was ment as the Natural Progression of the feminine development as it begins to shape.
With an Autistic daughter if you fall in the definition of a “Normal” person you are really far from the norm of reality.
That said, Rose made several points for consideration that I appreciate greatly.
Thank-you
Alexis, As with all the most important Feeling you can have is Your Own. As most we must take Baby Steps. I, have been a CD on and off most of my life and In the last 10 yrs. I have gone full Circle and the desires also have gone full circle. Though therapy I have Found my True Circle.. As I am not full time to say the lease I still enjoy the friendship Of a Male or another CD. But be warned there could be Heart Brake . Most will say We are not Normal but what is normal? Normal is going with your Feeling and not judging or Judging yourself or your inner self. The Feelings we have from Our female side are there. Just be careful out there its a Jungle.
Hugs!Getting in the state of mind is so important Alexis. The whole romance thing comes alive with such excitement. I also found that reading romance novels and girlie magazines advances these feelings and soon you too will be crying in romance movies while watching them with your partner hon.
Thanks Debbie. I have never been a big reader but lately reading everything I can find on the net about feminizing. Let give it a try. Do you have one that you can suggest.
This is more of an update happening with Alexis over the last week.
Debbie suggested reading a romance novels. I knew my wife had some packets away someplace, so off I went. I picked three that I figured would be…..romantic, girly….get in touch with my touchy-feely side.
So I get 4 min into this book when the character is describing the “feeling of of his warm breath on her neck”. OMG my neck began tingling and heart started beating faster. Further ready caused similar reactions and I have yet to get to any ki D of bedroom activity.
So I start to wonder if a guy can really bring these feeling out in a woman. So I think why did such strong feelings happen with just the thought of feeling his breath on my neck. Thin I realized I was anticipating a a soft kiss on the neck.
That thought made my face go flush and an incredible warm feeling come over me as well as what seemed to be the blood rushing out of my limbs.
I have to admit. WHAT A WONDERFUL FEELING! I now want to feel that experience for real. Unfortunately to find a guy to do this with will most likely mean bedroom activity too.
Thank you ladies for discussing the “normal feelings and progressing” train of thought. I too hate the word “normal”. It should be defined as “an environment state of flux”, as the universe is not stationary, it constantly changing, albeit slowly. Let us look upon all these “new feelings” and explain them to others as : “As a child of the Universe, I am in the state of flux”. To-day we are here, tomorrow we are there.
Lady Veronica Graunwolf.
When I am dressed up and being a girl all I can think of is being with a lesbian partner
I never had any physical attraction to guys until I began dressing at a very young age. As I became more involved with it and started going out in public as a teen, I started getting attention from guys which I found incredibly thrilling. The fantasy of being someone’s “girl” started to build steam but it wasn’t until my late teens that I decided to pursue the desire of being intimate with a guy. That was when I discovered that I was truly bi-sexual. I know that doesn’t happen for everyone but I was in that relationship for over a year and enjoyed being the submissive and feminine part of the couple. I prefer a relationship with a woman, but I have found that opportunity has become less likely as I grow older. However, I seem to be able to easily find guys interested in me. Most men I meet that show interest are only interested in sexual escapades but I have met men who are interested in more than sexual experiences and it has been very satisfying being a man’s “girl” and being treated like a lady with respect, kindness, and gentleness. I recently met someone by accident who is straight and has no interest in an intimate relationship, but has become a good friend to knock about with without expectations of anything sexual. If you do decide to walk this path, keep your eyes open and go slowly, as there are many dangers along the way, physically and emotionally.
I’ve had the same experience. I was on herbal supplements and found myself thinking about men. It was very unsettling at first but felt so natural.
It’s been a while since using supplements and all thoughts of men have gone away too.
I’ve recently entered into a mother/daughter role play relationship with my wife and considering supplements again. I’m not bi but who know what will happen? I’ll leave it up to my wife.
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