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    • #168751

      Hello, my name is Sharon. I have dressed as far back as 3 or 4 years old. Being 54 now it’s been a long ride. Married twice and both knew before vows, 11.5 yrs military with 3 kids.  My first wife cheated on me all the time, 2nd internet love. Have been single for 9 yrs. I have been dating a woman for 8.5 yrs and engaengaged. She knows, not supportive mucho wants to be. Do I have no outlet now. I dress in private 3 days a week. 2 kids want nothing to do with me and the 3rd talks but ne er visits. All kids are grown and their wives etc know. Ex-wife told all. My social world revolves around me, fiance family which doesn’t know. I know the woman inside and come to grips with her, buy clothes etc. I feel calm and content till I pass a mirror and realize how stupid I look and what it has cost me.  The sad part is I  am a good person that others have judged me with society’s rules. I am due to get married next year and scared I am to much for her or not enough pending point of view. I am a private person  but have been caught a few times so almost no frienslds, just people that talk behind my back, as I hide behind a fake smile. Life is hard but with out Sharon I am not whole. I realize that people I am close to don’t love all of me they aren’t true friends.  Even fiance is self centered and make it difficult to keep positive. Well that’s my story.

    • #168759
      Stephanie Flowers
      Ambassador

      Sharon,  life at times just isn’t fair and to lose what’s is important to one self makes a journey difficult to handle. You are certainly right many may not like or accept ones personal feelings and life is too short and we must find the things that makes one feel happy and content. Embracing the best qualities to comfort a peaceful balance . Dressing, those feminine feelings that touch our inner desires. I myself have found this to be and this wonderful place has help guide me through and put me in a better state of mind.  Not like you I have only started this just a few years ago and only my wife knows and family does not and may never but even if they did, I wouldn’t hid it and care if they talked behind my back as it may hurt yes  but how it makes me feel is the only important thing to me as it makes me feel better about myself to which at my age is most important as life is too short to worry what others think, especially friends too which I don’t have many myself. Being much closer to our  goal of happiness and on a journey of amazing challenges is so pleasing and knowing it makes you feel better about yourself and life itself. Enjoy your stay and know you have many here to ask your questions ,were here to be the best friends one could ever find. Compassionate, understanding and supportive to make this chapter in your life easier to face. How one looks when looking in a mirror may not look like one would like but how one feels inside is what is important and I feel wonderful. As they say “let your hair down and have fun”. The best to you in the future and a wonderful wedding .I hope in time your fiance will slowly show acceptance as she see how happy you are being Sharon and a special relationship starts as it amazing when one can enjoy being being themselves with support from someone so close. Your most welcome and happy your here with us. Hugs!

      Stephanie 🌹

    • #168771
      Anonymous

      It is very hard to put yourself out there, even here sharing your life story. I am finding talking with people has helped immensely. I am mid 50s. have been doing this a long time. going out fully dressed while only a few times has made me feel so happy. it is only clothing, but it how it makes me feel. and I am not afraid of who I am. hopefully people will see you for who you are but all you can do is live your life. I found therapy helped me understand this and other aspects of my life better. and I have read a lot of other peoples stories. our culture has a real hard time with this. I try to avoid that and live my life. talk with others and understand myself better everyday. I hope you can find some people you feel comfortable talking with. there are a lot of great people right here.

      • #170018

        I found your words to be true. What hit the most was basically nothing will change (my words) just live your life. Thx

    • #168843

      Welcome Sharon.I hope you enjoy what this site has to offer.You will find many like minded people on here.

    • #170140
      Anonymous

      If I could offer one piece of advice, it would be to think and talk to the lady you propose to spend the rest of your life with.

      You both need to accept this side of you, because it surely is not going away.

      If I could go back in time, this is what I would tell myself before getting married.

      I would also have available the wonderful support network and team of experienced therapists which constitute this site.

      We all know who we are, or rather how we would like to express ourselves.

      Truly, we should not tie our hands and suppress our actual selves in order to gain the affections of someone else. Sooner or later, it will end in tears.

      And that is the uncomfortable truth we all share.

      Except those who are lucky enough to find an actual supportive S/O.

      I wish you both all the happiness that life can possibly offer. Most times, that can be found in places you didn’t expect, and at times you weren’t looking.

      It’s a funny universe, full of quantum behaviour.

      Love Laura

    • #172630

      Sharon,

      I have read your story over and over again and find it so sad in many ways. I find a warm sensitive person who is a very good person that has been betrayed over and over again to the point that you are now looking at yourself in the mirror questioning your looks as something stupid. I’m not a counselor of any kind but I have experience in CDing and life in general. I’m here to tell you that you are not stupid but a highly sensitive person is my guess. (Elaine Arron was researched this extensively and written about it). Like you, I have children who don’t speak to me though it has nothing to do with CD. But, my X certainly made sure my kids would have nothing to do with me. I can tell you if she knew about my CD she would have broadcasted it far and wide your X did to you.

      Here are some thoughts which you may take or leave. If  your fiancé is self centered, are you sure you want to get married? It is likely that her selfish trait will only magnify after the wedding. I’m currently married and she doesn’t know I CD. I know if something happens to us, I will never marry again although I thought after my first wife, I could never stand being alone. I would go out of my mind with loneliness, but I’ve come to terms with that. Your s/o should join the spouse section here, CDH, for a better understanding of you and your needs.

      I personally found dressing to the very finest detail has helped me not think I’m stupid looking. In fact, recently an employee at Publix said I reminded him of his mother and another woman ( note that woman) stopped me in WalMart one day and swore I was someone she had met a few days earlier. I never saw her before in my life. I suggest doing the same (CD every detail) by shaving hair everywhere, woman’s engagement and wedding ring, makeup, a good wig, changing out your cell phone cover for a girly one, etc. You will feel like the woman inside screaming to come out. You can go out in pubic with your head held high and feeling every part of being the woman within.

      We live over a thousand miles apart but I would be your friend to go places with and do things together if we were closer. I don’t know what part of Michigan you are in, but I know of a support group where you would be accepted and friends could be made. It is not a fetish group and I’m not sure how they are doing just now. They are located in Grand Rapids and the founder would be a wonderful friend for you. pM me if you want more information.

      Sharon, you are a beautiful person who deserves better in life than you have received so far. You can’t stop CDing. It won’t go away, but you can live with it and have a good life. Good luck and feel free to PM me any time! My door on cloud nine is always open to you!

      Hugs,

      Mary

       

    • #172632

      Welcome Sharon!

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