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Hello everyone. Im Anielle (pronounced like danielle). I am here because over several years and particularly of late I have felt confused. I have lived as a straight male up to this point but have begun to question my identidy and sexuality at a level I havent previously. I can tell you stories of examples of 12 year old me trying on womens clothing or even puting balls under my shirt so I could give myself the illusion of breasts which oddly helped me sleep better at one point. I quickly grew out of those habits. Never repeated them, never spoke of them. Everytime I become newly single I feel a surge of desires resurface. The desire to be girly in both a comfort and sexual way. I am now 25. And my desire to delve into these feelings has led me much further than any other time in my life. Im writing this on a crossdressers support message board. And it feels good to say (or type) outloud for the first time. Just needed so share a bit of myself and say thank you for letting me into this community:)
Anielle,
I wish, I wish when I was 25 I would have pursued my feelings, desires to dress. Not only dress, shave my legs, all my body hair, stay in good shape and do all the girly things I had desires to do!
Don’t bury these feelings, they just keep coming back. No time like the present, go for it. Explore and experiment with anything safe and sane. Really do not wait. I’m in my late 50’s now, doing some of those things more and more, but with a lot of difficulty, as I’m now married, and my SO does not go for this sort of thing.
Enjoy this now, and you may just enjoy it for many, many years to come!
Best to you, X’s and O’s!
R
Welcome, Anielle. And thank you for sharing a little bit of yourself with us. I’ve learned that the desire to crossdress never truly goes away, even if it lies dormant for an extended period. I’ve also learned that it’s a beautiful, wonderful thing that can honestly change our lives for the better. I will never question it again nor will I ever feel remorse about it. I look forward to discussing it with you here at CDH. The ladies here are amazing and caring. It’s a time to celebrate our feminine side.
Hello Anielle and welcome to CDH. I would recommend you visit Transgender Heaven as well.
The desire to cross dress or move on to actual gender change is one we are born with due to a gene in our DNA that gets modified somehow….reason has yet to be discovered. Yes, environment and life experiences play a role in many cases as well. I have studied these anomalies for years and find it fascinating. When we are under construction in the womb….our gender is undetermined until around 3 months of age. Our mind set can also be influenced by this. It is so sad and angering to me that society puts us down as freaks…..that is so far from the truth. People ridicule that which they do not understand and creates a very unhappy individual. Do not feel bad or worthless by other peoples ignorance…that is not your fault….so do not accept it. If you like, I would be willing to share my knowledge and experiences from around the world of cross dressing and the Psychology behind it. Let me assist you in understanding the things that you wonder about. Let us work together to make you all you can be and fulfill that dream. The journey is well worth it sweetie. Till then………
Hugs…..
Dame Veronica Graunwolf
Hey Anielle, wish I’d found something like CDH a long time ago, I’ve had confusion and anxiety over my need to dress as a woman my whole life, in my earlier 40’s now and after a 7 years break I’ve have registered on here and found my crossdresser needs have never gone away. I’m currently trying to find a balance where I can express myself as a woman on occasion but also live a full life as a man
My SO doesn’t know about this side of me bybso dearly wish she did and was accepting of it, so difficult to make a decision on.
My advice is don’t bury the feeling, try to reconcile it within your life and I hope you have many happy years of being a woman without the hurt and confusion within yourself.
Mx
<p style=”text-align: right;”></p>Hello Anielle,
Wow! It seems you have come to the right place. I haven’t been a member long, however, it seems as though everyone shares the same type of story. My story is similar to yours, I started trying on my mothers pantyhose, bras, etc when I was 9 or 10. I am 56 now and to a point where I am thinking about transitioning. The woman in me is strong and sometimes it’s very difficult not being able to be her all the time. I have found a community in this site where I feel like I belong and it has uplifted my spirits. You can run but you can’t hide from those feelings. Trust me, been there done that.
Vanessa
Hi Anielle and welcome to CDH! The support and friendships that you make here will aid you wherever your journey may take you. You will find the articles, forums, groups, and chat with other ladies here a great way to know you are not alone. You may find our sister site Transgender Heaven helpful too. Please free to reach to me, hugs Michelle
Hi Anielle
It is so easy for me as a genetic female to be who I want to be, my eyes have been so opened by the site, as to how much pain and anguish the TG and CD community go through, trying to do exactly what I take for granted. None of us should have to deny who we are or keep parts of ourselves locked away. I agree with the others that this site is a great place to explore. I hope you make many friends here!
love
Sarah xxx
[quote quote=122083]Hi Anielle
It is so easy for me as a genetic female to be who I want to be, my eyes have been so opened by the site, as to how much pain and anguish the TG and CD community go through, trying to do exactly what I take for granted. None of us should have to deny who we are or keep parts of ourselves locked away. I agree with the others that this site is a great place to explore. I hope you make many friends here!
love
Sarah xxx
[/quote]
The world needs a lot more of understanding Women like you.Thank you for your kind words Sarah!Welcome and we are here for you.I have tried in the past like so many others have said,to stuff those feelings away.Thinking that they are wrong,I am supposed to be a man.Well it hasn’t worked for me.The feelings are still here and stronger than ever.You are young,half my age,follow your desires and be you.It just seems harder for me now,being older,just an ugly old lady is what I feel like.I wish now I would have done things different years ago.I feel now,that it may be to late.
Welcome Anielle,
You’re with the right people hun. You have a similar situation to mine. I can remember closeting myself from the time I was 6 or 7. I recently opened up to my fiancé. Much to my surprise, she loved Skyler. I was incredibly surprised she was even attracted to me as Skyler. Our problem is that we have a handsome little boy and we don’t know if we want him knowing daddy can also double as a woman. I would definitely encourage you to be yourself. Do what makes YOU happy. In the end, you need to live your own life. You’re just a couple years younger than I am. If you ever feel a need to chat, my inbox is always open darling. 💕
WOW, the overnight responses! Thank you everyone for the words of encouragement and support. I think this may be just what I need to get myself into it all. Currently on the market for some panties and a thong at least to wear around the house. Maybe a couple pairs so I so I dont need to wash them constantly. I do still live with a roommate, dont want them finding out. Not yet anyway. 🙂
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