New Surprises every month or so…need advice please.

[cdheaven]

New Surprises every month….girlfriend of crossdresser

Hello, I am new here and stressed/upset beyond belief. I hope that you all will not add more stress by judging me for what I have been going through willingly….until now. I have been dating a fellow (much younger) for 7 plus months now and he informed me in the beginning that he likes to wear women’s underwear and I considered his preferences with an open and non judgmental mind thinking that “God doesn’t care what you wear”. I fell in love with him and it seems like every month or so BIG surprises entered our relationship in regards to his issues. He is totally heterosexual he says and acts but also has a feminine side that he needs to fulfill by not only wearing panties but also going full on dress up (no makeup because he is very mascline looking). It didn’t turn me off because the few times he did it he was soooo happy and sweet and I wanted and want him to be happy. The next surprise was his admittance of liking soft porn or basically just looking at women in pretty underwear and he showed me the site he goes to and what he looks at. I purchased beautiful lingerie to please him and he made me feel so beautiful. He said he looks at the other women but they are only pictures and I am his sweetheart who he loves so much. Now (last night) he sprung a big on on me by telling me that a year or so ago he was looking up his friend’s wife’s skirt and commented on her panties and the woman did not take it well especially after his admittance of his love of wearing women’s underwear. I couldn’t handle it. I was supposed to spend the night with him and I backed out. He threw a fit and I left. My self esteem, even though he has always been complimentary to me, has been suffering off and on for months. We have parted ways 3 times mostly with him leaving but the last time I just couldn’t take how nasty he was to me. It is always about his “issues” and my feeling just fall to the wayside when he gets angry or hurt. He left again this morning and I swore that I would end it for good but I am becoming weak because I love him so much except for the hurt he causes me. Sorry if I sound confused but I truly am. Please be kind with you comments and thank you for your responses.
Missy

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you’ve got a selfish narcissist on your hands. Does he berate you to down play his own faults? Checking out his friends wife’s underwear and commenting on it is just creepy. If a friend did that to my wife I would not be impressed, crossdresser or not. Be careful here dear and think with your head not your heart. Take care, Heather.

[Anonymous]

Missy, I agree with Heather on this . While I am a crossdresser, and understand the desire to wear beautiful women’s clothes, I think his actions towards the woman in the skirt are unacceptable. If that were my significant other, the person looking up the skirt would do some serious thinking before ever doing it again. Hugs Rochelle.

[Alissa Reynolds]

I also agree with Heather, it may be painful, but listen to your gut. It’s hard to move on sometimes, but more often for the best; as he seems to be very selfish/insecure. If I was the husband of the wife that he did that to, I would probably be in jail right now! It’s hard, but move on sweetie, you’ll be happier in the long run for it.

[LaWren Peace]

For myself, trust and respect are necessary ingredients in relationships. Do you feel safe? Do you feel respected? It sounds like you feel loved most of the time. But those times that are worse than uncomfortable could be an indication of the future. Imagine them multiplied exponentially.
I met a wonderful woman a couple years ago, though there was something about her that I did not quite trust, and I did not feel that I had an equal voice at times. As I paid attention to patterns, I realized that she would always leave me wondering. That’s not trust. I refused to enter a relationship with her, even though she tried to convince me to. We hang out occassionally, so I get to see some of the patterns repeat. Sometimes I wonder what could have been, but I think I made a good choice.

[Sophia-Marie Braun]

Hi Missy, not everyone is meant to be together…as you get to know a person, you may find they are not for you after all.  There is nothing wrong with this…its how we go about finding the ‘right’ person.

It should not be about only one person’s issues, you count too, you are important too.

I wish you the best no matter what happens.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, sounds like the guy has other issues besides the dressing.  You indicate he is “nice” all the time, but your self-esteem is hurting for 3 months with him?   He may be nice, but it sure seems like he is not nice for you. I love (platonic) all of my girlfriends and my wife, too, and all I want to do is lift them up. Sounds like maybe he knocks you down a bit.  I think maybe you can do better.

[Anonymous]

Wow!  I have 1 ex wife and a current wife of 20 years who I have put through a lot of pain with my CDing. I did tell her before we were married but due to both our situations neither of us understood the total impact of what I was telling her. We do still have some issues with it but we love each other and always move forward. Your situation does seem to have other issues as well as “just” being involved with a crossdresser. Please be careful and listen not only to your heart but that little voice inside your head saying “danger!”  Yes we Cd’s can be great loving caring and faithful partners, but we are all individuals with our other issues and like several ladies have said there appears to be some here. Please be careful and remember that it is not selfish or unreasonable to protect yourself and if necessary move on. Many here have had to do the same thing and you will get support from those that understand and have been through bad times. Don’t allow yourself to be put through a bad relationship just because you want to be “understanding.”

🍷C

[Author]

Posts